Need Help... - Babcock,WI

Hi K.! Congratulations! It sounds like you have a wonderful family! Adding twins to any family can be really stressful! The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs (www.nomotc.org)is a wonderful place to start. They have all kinds of printed information on any topic you can think of! There are mothers of twins clubs in most every area. You can locate a local club through the National website also. Clubs are a great way to meet other moms dealing with everything you are going through! Good luck to you!

Wow! Congratulations on the beautiful family. I have a 28 month old and 6 1/2 month old twins. I obviously didn't have as many at home when the twins arrived and my oldest wasn't quite as little as your youngest, but can tell you what I experienced. First, I'd be realistic with expectations on breast feeding. I fed my first, with no problems, until 1 (only stopped so we could start trying to have our second- and needed a hormone shot, which I couldn't have while nursing)... I was bound and determined to nurse, which I did 50/50 until 4 months, when I ended up letting it go. I'm not saying it can't be done, but you need to be very organized- one thing you may have going for you is the older kids who can help with your 8 month old. My oldest was 21 months when they were born (he is a climbed and VERY active)... so having to give him attention as well, I simply found it hard to physically eat and drink enough to keep up with the demands of breastfeeding two... I'd forget my water next to the rocking chair, etc and realize hours later I hadn't been drinking- was just so busy with the three. I ended up in the ER one night with extreme nausea and vertigo (dizziness)- turned out to be dehydration. I was bound and determined to increase my water/ food intake and get to 100% breastfeeding, but with pumping extra (recommended with preemies)- feedings, etc. it was too stressful. I hate to this day that I couldn't make it work, but the upside is the amount of flexibility I have now is a lifesaver. I know it would have been different if they were my first, but it was what it was. Whether you plan to nurse or use formula, I'd suggest filling out the card for multiple births you receive at one of your OB visits. I received a case of formula from both the makers of Enfamil and Similac... which is something. (They should contact you roughly 4 weeks after anticipated due date to confirm what type of formula they're on and it's shipped right to your home). I'd do it either way- it's has a long shelf life, and if you end up not using it, you'll find someone who will put it to use. (One last thing on this- if you do formula, the best place to buy is Sam's. A 38 oz can of Enfamil Lipil is $31.88, vs. a 25 oz can for $25.88 (average price) at Target or other stores. Similac is priced similarly.

The second piece of advice I'll offer is, when the babies are older, to learn to put the down drowsy. I was so enamored with my first (and off work until he was 7 1/2 months old) that I held him all the time- and with him being nursed, he often fell asleep while nursing/rocking. We eventually had to do a modified "cry it out" which was awful. I read in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"- as they develop sleep patterns, to put them down drowsy- which has made a huge difference.

Finally, use your oldest kids to help in any way possible, as others have mentioned. My oldest has adapted beautifully to the twins, but find that the more I have him help the better he is. He loves to be the big brother and Mommy's helper...

Good luck!

As a mom of six, I am empathize with your situation :) For me, organization and planning became key to keeping me sane. White wipe boards were my friend - they tracked who was pooping and who wasn't, who was eating and who wasn't, who had wet diapers and who didn't, etc. One by the front door kept my school kids organized with sports, band, homework, etc. One in the bathroom took care of tracking dirty diapers, loose stools, etc. One in the dining room tracked who was eating and who wasn't. I also instituted a monthly menu and purchased all of the groceries one month at a time (huge money saver, too). Finally, one wipe board handled the master schedule. Having the same schedule for all of the kids was a life saver. Breaking my day down into chunks - art time, tv time, outside time, snack time, made things seem managable. I will say that for a number of years I felt like I never stopped cooking, doing dishes, or washing clothes! Paper plates were a staple and finding one-dish meals was always fantastic.

Mom's with big families always seem to find their way through it and I know you will too :) When people ask me how I do it, I tell them that after you hit kid #4, it is all about logistics! I don't think my house would be any more or less crazy if I had 4 kids or 10 kids (which, with the neighbor kids, is often how many I have around here most days).

Hi, K.! Congratulations! I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but I wanted to send some words of encouragement. I thought I had it touch with a 17 month old and expecting another in 1.5 months!! Silly me! I'm sure you're thinking, "Big deal!"

My only suggestion is to remember that 7, 6, 5 and even 3 is old enough to be able to help out with all kinds of chores and tasks. Don't be afraid to put them all to work. I'm sure they will all love to help out with the 3 littlest ones anyway. It's a good way to build healthy self esteem, respect for each other (and you), and the importance of cooperation.

And when you have those days where it all feels too overwhelming, try to remind yourself: "This, too, shall pass."

Good luck!
-T.

I don't have 5 kids with 2 on the way, so I'm not going to give you any advice in that area! All I want to say is: one wonderful thing about being human (and mommys I think!) is our ability to adapt. Pretty soon you'll be wondering what your family was like before the twins came along =) Congratulations!!!!

Hi K.

You are going to have your hands full. You did not say if you are married or not . What does daddy think about all the joy you are going to have soon .
My advice take one day at a time and enjoy them all . They are all a blessing planned or not planned .

Congrats K.! I just have to add that though I don't have many kids I have learned to focus on what's important and to forgive myself for not being perfect. You may have already been through this with your other kids but I'm now trying to frequently remind myself that I am enough and a clean house is just not likely right now. Please remember that you're a great mom and we all have "days". Don't forget how much support is out here. I'd also agree with these other posters that allowing the older kids to help will be good for all of you. Good luck and god bless!

I give you credit. Thats a lot of babies. I would say to get help where you can. Sleep when the babies nap, if you cn. TRy and rest, take breaks. If someone offers to take some of the older ones over night here and there encouage it. Most of all enjoy your blessings.

Read the book "Full House" about the Anderson quintuplets. I found it at my local library.

It's laugh out loud funny and an easy read. They had 2 boys when she became pregnant with 5 babies. When they brought them home from the hospital they did it all themselves!!! She tells how she mananged the days by herself as her husband worked out of the home. Hope this helps.

Join a MOMS (Mothers of Multiples) group, that was the best thing that I did. The group that I belong to has online support, group support once a month, and it is fun talking with other moms that have walked through our shoes. If you want anymore information about groups you can email me at ____@____.com son is a complex child so it is like having 4 kids running around with him and then we added two identical twin girls. Good Luck.

M.
mom to Ryan 9 1/2 (Down syndrome, autistic like tendencies, severe ADHD, Bipolar, GERD, asthma and alleriges)
Abbey and Alexa 3 1/2 identical twins

I'd suggest finding a part-time babysitter to help out after the twins are born. I'm not a mom of multiple children, but I do know how much of a lifesaver it's been for me to have someone I like and trust to come over twice a week for a few hours at a time. In your case, you might have family nearby to help in that capacity (we don't)...? But, definitely, I'd say to set up a helper(s) to help with kid-wrangling. Congratulations, and best wishes to you!

Hire a postpartum doula to help with the overnights! Or hire one for the day. They can be very helpful with the babies but also household chores, grocery shopping....all the stuff you just won't have time for at first. If finances are an issue ask for one as a gift....a few friends or family could go in on services together. Good Luck to you and God Bless your family!

Hi K.,
Congrats on the twins and the large family. As hard as it seems right now, it will get easier until they are in their teens. Makes you wonder about that lady who had 6 under 7 and just had octuplets doesn't it..lol, see Twins won't be so bad.
If you belong to a church ask the minister to let them know you would like some help with the kids when the babies are born. I am sure they will love to have a sign up sheet to come help. I know I would!
The idea of joining the mothers of multipal group is a good one. They will give you loads of advice.

Good luck and enjoy