Late Start Babywise Success Stories

Updated on July 09, 2008
L.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
62 answers

I am the mom to an 8 month baby boy who just will not sleep through the night. I feed him and put him to bed at 7 and he wakes up every 3.5-4 hours throughout the night. I've tried the pacifier without success. The only thing that gets him back to sleep is eating. I'm at the end of my rope. We bought the babywise book and have had success with our daytime routine but no luck in the night. We are hesitant to let him cry through the night, which the book suggests. So, what I'm looking for are people who have done that and had it work. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

I had no idea I'd get so many responses! Thanks so much! We tried crying it out last night and it was horrible! He fussed from 10:30-11:15 and then really got hysterical for 45 minutes and finally fell asleep close to 12, only to wake again at 1. I fed him at 1 and then he slept until 6:30. We've decided that crying it out is just not for us right now. We're going to try adding a feeding at 10ish before I go to bed and then hopefully he'll wake only once (or maybe none!). We're meeting with a GI guy for severe reflux and may be more willing to cry it out once that's under control. Thanks again for all your support!

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B.V.

answers from Killeen on

It takes awhile - hang in there. I started with mine at 6 months. It was very hard at first but after a month or so she had it down.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Corpus Christi on

MY little boy was just like that. He did not start sleeping through the night until he was about 9 months old and then still would wake. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, and he is 26 months now. I can say that I used my best judgement and the fact that my husband would have to wake in the morning, so I picked the nights I let him cry it out carefully. It wont last long, but you need to let him cry a good 15 minutes before caving(as my mom put it) It was hard but, the nights I did let him cry it out, he did just fine. good luck!

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M.

answers from Houston on

I used the babywise book with success. I also bought the next few babywise books, but the first one was the most useful and helpful of all. You'll have to be consistent and stick with the rules of waiting it out. It'll get harder if you try it when he's older. He'll get the idea and you'll both feel a lot better once you've gone through the hard part. Best to you all. It's hard but you'll be relieved in the long run.

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T.F.

answers from San Angelo on

I had some of the same experiences with my son who is 5 now, he was around 5 months when we tried it. We bought and read babywise and it took us 3 nights and he began to sleep through the night. It was hard to hear him cry but the end result was worth it. I was a lot more careful about putting my daughter, who is 20 months down awake and letting her learn to fall asleep on her own and we never had those issues with her. Good luck.

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C.G.

answers from Austin on

Is your 8 month old sleeping in his own room?

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T.I.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi L.-
I've only read a few responses, but agree w/ some that they won't remember this!! The 1st night we put our son in his crib in his own room (he was in a bassinet in our room before) at almost 8 wks (& 2 days before I had to return to work), he slept from 10:30 to 5:30/6. Just the night before I had gotten up w/ him at 2 am to feed him, but when we put him in his own room, he slept all night & 20 months later is still doing it (altho now goes down 7:30/8 until 7/8 am. Follow your instincts (mommy knows best) as to your comfort level of him letting him cry it out (self soothing). Start w/ 5 minutes (will be the LONGEST 5 minutes of your life), then tend to him. Then go 10 minutes. He'll know you're close, but he may have just gas bubbles or something & once he moves to get comfy, he's fine :) We started at 10 minutes & went from there, but he rarely woke up in the night after moving to his crib. His cries will also let you know how serious his unhappiness is :) Good luck & God Bless :)

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M.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I am not totally sold on babywise per say (I like some of it, but it is just not quite flexible enough for me)...but totally in love with Dr. Richard Ferber. He is the expert on sleep and he has been so "bashed" for his "cry-it-out" method. I want to know how many of the people so apposed to CIO have actually read his book on teaching children to sleep??

He will teach you how to teach your child how to sleep!! He tells you when developmentally your child is ready to "sleep through the night"...they need to weigh so many pounds and meet certain criteria.

I waited until my son was almost 16 months old before I read Dr. Ferber's book...I was a sleep deprived zombie who was not getting anything done at home and cried when my DH wanted to start trying for #2.

I don't know if Dr. Ferber is still alive, if he is I would give him the biggest hug!!

I started my daughter from the beginning as soon as she was developmentally ready for sleep training and she is a great sleeper. I put her in her crib and she lays down and goes right to sleep. It was hard to let her cry a bit, but after three nights it was done and she sleeps great!!

My son by 16 months could cry for hours and I cried with him...I was so exhausted, I would lay on the floor next to his crib and cry because I was too tired to go back to bed. Then I used Ferber's method and it worked...we slept.

Don't let it get to 16 months start now!!
BIG HUGS {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
Maretta

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M.C.

answers from Austin on

Obviously there are many different responses to this question. Here's mine. Personally, after 5 months, I physically could no longer deal with the broken sleep - MY broken sleep. I was not doing well with the lack of sleep and realized that helping my baby learn to sleep through the night would make me a better mom and a better wife. No use sacrificing my well being if it doesn't produce positive results. We used the Ferber method at 5 months. We were fighting two issues, one, it took me well over an hour to get my daughter to fall asleep at night with me rocking/nursing/rocking. Two, she would wake up several times a night to eat.

So we put her down for bed and there was a lot of crying, about 2 hours worth. But I knew she was fed, she was dry and she was safe. I checked on her at 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes and then 30 minutes. Eventually, she fell asleep. I would not pick her up, I would just rub her belly and let her know she was not alone. It pissed her off, but eventually she fell asleep. The next few nights got better, by the end of the week she was falling asleep on her own.

The issue I tackled next was the waking up to eat. I would delay the eating by an hour. Meaning, if she usually would eat at 11pm, I wouldn't feed her until midnight. There was some crying, but not too bad. After about a week, we were down to just one "night" feeding at around 4AM. (7AM - 4AM was AWESOME!) So after one week we went from taking an hour to get her to fall asleep and multiple feedings to falling asleep on her own and one night feeding at 4AM. Not bad.

Hope this helps! :-)

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A.H.

answers from Odessa on

I foolishly waited until my son was 9 months to let him "cry it out". it took four days at night he would cry less and less each night until finally he and I slept all night long for the first time in 9 months. it was a monumental occasion. Needless to say I will not wait that long with my next child. It does work. But sometimes as they get older they need a refresher course.

L.H.

answers from Austin on

Hi L.,
I'm an early development Specialist and have been a professional nanny for over 20 years, specializing in newborns, infants and toddlers. I've used the "cry it out" technique along with the parents I've worked for dozens of times over my career and it ALWAYS worked for me. Granted, I used discretion about when/if to use that technique but it sounds like you've covered your bases too...that you're sure baby is not genuinely hungry when he wakes (He's old enough to be on solids along with bottle now....giving him solids for his before bed meal could make a HUGE difference) and that the next step in his sleep learning is to learn to soothe himself back to sleep without food or outside intervention. This is SO important for him to learn and if you can remember that you're doing it FOR him, not TO him, when you're hearing him cry, it will help you stick to it. A baby who doesn't learn this is dependant on outside factors to get its much needed sleep and we all know that independence is the goal, and while it doesn't come without struggling and tears (just like anything that's hard for us to do at first), it DOES come and fairly quickly if the parents are committed to the process and don't give in when the crying intensifies. TIP: the crying intensifies usually just before baby drops off to sleep....it's almost predictable with any baby.....they struggle to self-soothe....get themselves on the brink of sleep and put out one last fight for "the status quo. i.e. a bottle, being picked up, etc.) before giving in to sleep. It almost never goes on for more than a few days and then it's done....your baby has learned a new and invaluable skill that not only adds to their sense of accomplishment and independence but provides them with a life skill that they'll need forever. Be aware that the first night of crying it out will be the hardest and will involve the longest amount of crying before giving it up to sleep. The struggle gets a little shorter every night (provided you have stuck to your end of things) and soon baby is sleeping through without the crying at all or with just a short bit of fussing to put himself back to sleep.

Hope this helps and feel free to write to me if you'd like to discuss it some more.
L.
[email protected]____.com

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Why do you put him to bed so early? I give my twins a good
warm bath then feed him! Bathes usually makes babies sleepy
and hungry! Change his feeding.

M.

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T.D.

answers from Houston on

i started the book when my son was less than a month old (which looking back is probably too early but i didn't know the first thing about babies!) and my son was sleeping 8 hours by 2 months old! it only got better from there, and now that he's two yrs old he has better sleep habits than most of his friends whose parents were too intimidated by the approach. i will say, however, that it was VERY, VERY difficult to hear him cry (i still can't believe we did it), so you really have to be ready for the heartbreak before you begin. a friend tried the approach but sometimes backed down, and they struggled for a long time i think because of the inconsistency. you're in a different situation than i was since your child is older, but since mine was so young, i will say that with my second, i MIGHT combine babywise with a gentler approach at first and go in every so often to soothe him, then slowly take away the soothes until he's a little bit older. but i may not, because i was a much better mom having had a good night's sleep, and following the book strictly sure worked in no time! haha :) good luck and just be ready for a really tough time for a while...

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

Hi,L.,,
if he just waking up because he's hungry give him some rice ceral you can make it very thin so it will go through the nipple ,,if you are not using bottles ,then try with spoon only add 1 new thing to his diet once every 7-10dfays to makw sure he is not alleris ,then gio to a lil allpe sause,then banana,see how it does you might get a great surprise.yes i'm old school 50 yrs young 3 grand kids
good luck L.

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N.D.

answers from Corpus Christi on

When that was happening to me, my mother-in-law told me that when they usually get to that age, a plain bottle isn't enough to fill him up for more that the 3-4 hours. Her suggestion was to mix a bit of baby cereal (the flakes) in with his formula. I would have him drink this mixture before bed so his tummy would last being full longer. Try it!! It worked for my son. He is now almost 3 years old.

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K.S.

answers from Austin on

My husband and I actually teach the Christian version of Babywise, through our church. Written by the same people. We had success with both our children a 3 1/2 year old and a 14 month old.
He may be going through a growth spurt and so you certainly need to feed him, as you always feed a hungry baby. But if this has been going on longer than a week or so then it sounds more like a habit. I is very hard to hear your baby crying, I would suggest when you hear your baby crying that you first of all go in and check on him to make sure he isn't caught up in the blankets/crib/got a leg caught or something else funky like that. Change his diaper if you need to. Make sure the room is dimly lit and you talk calmly to him so as not to arouse him even more than he already is. Put him straight back in the crib when you are done with checking his diaper and I would suggest patting him on his tummy and making soothing nosies - he will probably try to get up or move around a lot. Just be firm in your resolve and say "_insert name____ it's night night time." and lay him back down. Pat him again and he will eventually get calm and when he is almost asleep step back from the crib - he will probably open his eyes and look at you as he is no longer getting the patting on his tummy - so talk with him (softly - very quietly)so he still feels your presence.
Then the next time you can probably do the same thing but pat him for less time. then the third time lay him down and then stand by his crib till he settles, instead of patting him. Then the next time moved further away from the crib to the rockers, say. then to the door then you can just lay him down without a fuss. Picking him up only re enforces his crying. See how that goes.
It is much more gently than just letting him cry it out. I always used to check on my babies every 10 minutes or so just to make sure (that is if they were not settling) but if I herd their crying lessening I wouldn't disturb them as going in then would only arouse them more.
One other good thing we got is a camera in each of their rooms and we have wireless connection and it comes through on the TV so we can see them in their beds and not have to go into the room. We do go into their rooms with purpose, and for a reason, but if I think they are settling down and I don't want to disturb them then I check on the camera so I don't just go in there as they are about to drift off.
Hope this helps.
This is a very emotive subject to a lot of people and some people can say things to scare the living daylights out of you and put guilt on to you. please go with what you feel is right. Everyone needs to parent they way they want (this is what I say to each parent in the class) but we are hear to help with suggestions and tech support so to speak, if they go through our classes they can call us and talk with us and get help that way.

K.

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

We used the Babywise stuff with my first for a few short months. It is the biggest regret I have as mother. I am so thankful, that we wised up and did our research on the Ezzos. I would strongly suggest researching the Ezzos. Before you use anything, it is important to research it as a whole, seeing both sides of the story and making the judgment call for yourself.

I am also very thankful we never really went full blown with the crying it out. Sure, letting some children cry it out will not effect them at all. But some children it will effect. Seeing my very sensitive 3 year old, I think it would have caused him emotional damage. I strongly believe that it would have caused him to have problems trusting us. All we would have proven to him was that we were not there for him when he needed us.

And, when you sit down an think about it, what does crying it out teach a child? That you won't come or that he is all alone. At 8 months, he does not know you are in the house with him. When he is alone and crying, he wants you to come get him for reassurance. An 8 month old is still learning that their arm is not attached to your body, they do not have the mental capacity to manipulate you. He has not been in the world this long, and is still building his trust in you.

He also could be hungry. Think of how small his little tummy is. It does not hold that much food. Most children can handle 7 or so hours with out eating around the age of 1, but at 8 months, he could very well be hungry. Also keep in mind, sleeping through the night is considered a 5 hour stretch, so you are almost there. Every child is different, with different needs. There is not one, end all solution to fix every child's problems.

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B.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Morning L.;

We had the same problem with both our boys! We did two things,
first we kept them up until 9pm, they were tireder. Then
instead of milk we put water in their bottles.
After about a week of only getting water they both decided
that water wasn't worth waking up for!
Good Luck,
B. C

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi L.-

I'm with Michelle on this one, but the one suggestion I would make is to try to keep him up a little later at night and then feed him some cereal before bed. My son is 7 months old and goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00. About 50% of the time he will sleep until 5:30 am and then nurse and go back to sleep for an hour or so. The other 50% of the time he wakes at 2:00 or 3:00 nurses and goes back to sleep until 6:00 or so. He's my 3rd child and with all 3 I have pretty much let them decide when they are ready to sleep through the night and my 2 oldest (age 6 and 4) are good sleepers and we have no bedtime issues whatsoever as a result. I know it makes life hard for you for now but it will end eventually and you might even miss those special quiet times feeding your little guy at night.

Good Luck,
K.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

maybe trying to set his bed time at 8pm would help. Also try water at night if he wakes up. My son would wake up at night 2-3 times a night when he was a baby. It really was driving me insane (he woke up every night until he was 3) until I started using water. You can also set you clock for before he wakes up to go in there and change his diaper maybe that will help to keep him asleep longer and if you make that a routine maybe he in a week or to he will sleep through the night better. He might be getting up because of his diaper being wet and has problems going back to bed by himself.

your baby does need to learn how self soothe but it takes practice for that to happen and you may want to practice that during the day so you can know there is nothing really wrong with him. But again if your trying to teach him how to do this doctors say not to let him cry for to long. Thats the only way babys can comunicate.

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A.L.

answers from Waco on

I had to respond because I went through the same thing! My son is now one and sleeps through the night every night. If he were to wake up now and cry, I would know something is wrong. The first six months we spent marathon nursing, with me falling asleep with him nursing. If I would move, he would wake up - if he would move I would wake up. I knew I needed to make him sleep in his own bed, and sleep all night,and I knew he was ready, but I was not ready. I didn't want to go through the crying it out process. Then I read that growing babies/children need unineruppted sleep for brain development. Nighttime is when their brain grows, and if they wake up all the time, they are not getting the essential time to develop. That did it for me. I found that going "cold turkey" worked best. I had tried in the past to let him cry awhile before going in, but I realized that doing that just made him more determined to cry as long as he needed to until I came in. So, I put him down one night and did not go back in for any reason. The first week was torture! He was very determined. But after that, he would only wake up every once and a while, but would give up much sooner. The whole process lasted about a month and a half. My best friend has a daughter six weeks older than mine, and she decided to do it too - she told me the same thing you say: that they are really hungry. Well, I believe they are hungry, but that doesn't mean they need to eat (unless they are an underweight baby, or by doctor's orders). I wake up sometimes in the night and I am hungry - I don't get up and eat though. Their body needs to be trained as early as possible to know that nighttime is for sleeping, not eating.
Sorry so long -- I am just so glad we finally did this for our baby. It is best to train them to live the right way as soon as possible. Also, it is best for mom's and dad's sanity to sleep through the night as well!

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

My son also wouldn't sleep through the night at that age. He would wake around midnight every night very hungry, even after a big dinner. He didn't start sleeping through the night all night until he was 14 months old.

A couple of well intentioned moms told me to let my son cry it out since he obviously wasn't starving based on his size, and that technique had worked well for them. Well we tried that route twice but he screamed until he puked so that was the end of that experiment. I feel guilty about it now but when you are a sleep deprived new parent you will try almost anything!

With hindsight I think he was just big for his age (off the growth chart as an infant) and needed the extra calories to sustain rapid growth. He is taller than most kiddos his age and the pediatrician predicts he will be over six feet tall.

A book I thought was helpful in dealing with bedtime issues in a more gentle manner was the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

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M.G.

answers from Austin on

He is not eating enough, to keep him asleep any longer.

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K.F.

answers from San Antonio on

L.-
I SO feel your pain! We were experiencing the exact same thing up until about 3 weeks ago. My 6 month old was waking up every 4 hours at night and I had gotten in the bad habit of feeding him everytime. But after taking to my pedi about it he said that based on my sons age and weight (20 lbs!!) that he should be able to go for about 8 hours at night without feeding. I know someone previously mentioned that because of the bigger weight they might need to eat more, but on the contrary. The more they weigh the longer they can go at night without feeding, just make sure they get plenty to eat during the day. It took us about a week until there were no more wimpers at all when falling asleep and staying asleep until morning. My son goes to bed at 7/7:30pm, I do a dream feed at 10/10:30 and he wakes up at 6am. I know a lot of other people have suggested keeping your awake longer, but that just did not work for me. My little guy can't make it much later than 7pm and it is harder for them to fall alseep if they are overtired. In the end you just have to trust your own insticts and go with what you are comfortable with. I waited until I was ready (not the baby) to let him CIO. I had read/ researched both sides and went with what I felt was right. (You are NOT teaching your baby to "fend for himself", but how to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night like we all do!) Just go with your gut and you can't go wrong, no matter which path you choose!
Good Luck!

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H.J.

answers from Austin on

I just went to my babies 4 month well check and brought up this very issue. He was only giving me a 4 hour stretch at night and then up every 2-3 hours there after, in which I would nurse him to sleep. Since he is putting on the weight, my pedi reassured me that he doesn't need to be fed that much at night and should be doing a 7-8 hour stretch. I was told to go in and just make sure he's okay (not wet, cold/hot, wedged in a bad position, etc.) and then leave his room to let him cry it out. She recommended me not go in again because I could be disturbing him even more. It has been 3 nights of this and I can say that things have been gradually getting better, so it is working. Babies can get into these bad habits and it's up to us to nip them in the bud. Since your baby is older, just realize that it may take a bit longer becuase of that, but don't back down, your not doing your baby any good by doing that and your lengthening this process. Good Luck!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Crying through worked for us for all 3. Though, I'm not sure what the book says, but I never let them cry all night long... We just wouldn't go in right away. After a long while, they would cry themselves to sleep. It took about 3 nights and then they were able to comfort themselves back to sleep. But, you have to commit to doing it. It tore me up, but my husband was the strong one for that time and held me back. It worked. But, if you give in and go in when you know everything is ok nad they're not hungry, then you are actually torturing them. You are making them cry for nothing, as they are learning nothing. So, you have to be committed to doing it for 3 nights at least.

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M.Z.

answers from Austin on

I feel for you. I too went through this with my daughter. Finally at 11 months (and working full-time), I was so exhausted and had to let her cry it out. It was terrible at first because it was about 2:30 am and she cried for 45 minutes before falling asleep. Then she slept through the night. The second night is supposed to be a little better the books and web sites say. My daughter cried for an hour. (Get through night one and then you feel like since you made her go through that, you really need to stick with it and see it through). The 3rd night was better - about 30 minutes. Then 20 minutes on the 4th night and even less on the subsequent nights. It really does take about 4-5 nights. Then you are kicking yourself and wondering why you didn't do it sooner! Good luck and let me know if you have any questions. I also suggest starting on a Friday night so you don't feel the loss of sleep as much if you work the next day. Just remember get through the first night and remind yourself it has to be done. They need to learn to sleep on their own. It is tough now but will be so worth it.

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C.R.

answers from Killeen on

Hi L.! I'm in the same boat!! My 8 month old son goes to bed between 9 and 10pm. I think personally earlier than that he will wake up like a newborn! He is teething a lot and wakes up between 4-6 hours also. I use teething tablets to help him. They are very safe. The only way I can get him to go to sleep is a bottle and rocking him till he falls soundly asleep.He don't take pacifiers either. It maybe a little spoiling but it's that extra time I have with him! It can be a little frustrating but I've learned how to deal with it. I can't stand to just let him cry himself asleep. I know how it feels to cry myself asleep and I don't like how it makes me feel. So I just rock him! He also "cat-naps" during the day! He used to take 2 hour naps now is like 15 mins!! Maybe waiting till he just tires out and put him to bed a little later might help! And less naps during the day!

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L.M.

answers from Longview on

Honestly ever baby is different. Some are just not good night sleepers. The way I got my son to sleep through the night was to slowly wean him off night feedings. I breastfed so I just cut down a few minutes each night. He started eating a little bit more during the day to make up for what he wasn't getting at night. It took about two weeks but he hasn't had anything to eat at night in about 6 months now. Good luck and I hope this helps you.

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L.S.

answers from Sherman on

I read both Baby Wise and Baby Whisperer before my daughter was born. I definitely felt Baby Whisperer was MUCH more helpful, humane, and explainatory.

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

You don't say if he's breastfed, bottle, on any solids or anything, so I'm going to try to address all.

My daughter was often up every 4 hours no matter what, and she was breastfed and on all types of food.

It was recommended to give a good feeding before bed. 7 is pretty early for a complete nigh's sleep, so you might want to try to push that back a little. If you give him a bottle, add some baby cereal flakes to thicken up the milk a little. This will also fill up his tummy. I hate the "let him cry" thing, esp. when this is a hunger issue. It's outdated in my opinion, as well as cruel. What you teach him also is that when he's hungry he has to wait grown up hours to get fed. He's probably on a growth spurt now and needs that extra food.
Definitely talk to your pediatrician!

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C.T.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 6 months old and is a babywise baby from day one. I referred to the book every day to make sure we were on course.

I did the cry out at 8 weeks. The book says they can get their clocks stuck. My daughter continued to wake up at the same time every night. Finally, we waited for the weekend and let it go. The first night she cried for an hour. It was horrible. I was crying but I knew it was for the best. I had to go to the kitchen and watch tv. I have a video monitor so I knew she was alright. The second night she cried for 15 minutes. The third night the same. The fourth night she slept all the way thru. I could not believe it. From that point on, she has slept thru the night.

I tell you what. It was hard work but she now sleeps thru the night. On top of that, I can put her down without a pacifier or rocking. If you follow the book and brace for the rough spots, you will feel blessed when your child takes wonderful naps and sleeps thru the night. FYI: Once you get thru this, get Babywise II.

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A.R.

answers from Houston on

Letting a child cry through the night is HARD . . . VERY HARD . . . but SO SO SO SO worth it!! Read the suggestions in the babywise book that tells you how to manage this . .. and PERSEVERE. It DOES work!

A

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

He may be hungry. Try cereal in milk or more solid foods before bedtime. If he still cries, then u can at least eliminate the hunger possibility.

R.D.

answers from College Station on

I just took a lactation class last weekend...and they are finding that there is a growing body of evidence that doesn't support the babywise ideology. Infact, one of the major problems with babies who are sleeping through the night is their increased risk of SIDS. A baby who is fed every few hours through the night is not going to go into that deep sleep that causes SIDS...so, if I were you I would just let the little guy feed a time or two during the night...it isn't going to spoil him, it will teach him that you are there when he has a need and that you care about his little baby fears and discomforts...before you know it he'll be sleeping through the night and well into the morning...and you'll be yelling at him to get up or else!!!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

A little different than you requested but thought you might be reassured that it isn't abnormal for a child to not sleep more than 4 hours until a year old. This was the case with my daughter (who is now 6yrs) and when I would tell people (thinking it was a sad sad story that I went a year without a real night's sleep) I was surprised at how many other people had the same experience. At the end I just started to put her in bed with us so while she was falling back asleep so was I- it helped to have fewer minutes awake in the middle of the night.

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J.K.

answers from Austin on

With my first baby, we were doing the babywise method but she had gotten into the habit of waking up and I would feed her. With the advice of our pediatrician, we were told to let her cry it out. The first night was brutal! She cried for two hours (and I cried along with her) til I finally went in and fed her. The next night she fell asleep after two hours of crying and then it just kept getting better. Within the week she got to sleeping the 11-12 hour stretch that is expected at that age. I know it sounds horrible to let your kid cry like that, but we were told there's no medical reason she needed to eat during the night. Now we have three kids and all of them can go down fully awake and put themselves to sleep. They've learned to spend time alone and play which is sure helpful to me and, I feel, a benefit to them. Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi L., When and if you figure out what to do in your son not sleeping through the night, please let me know, because my son is almost 23 months old and has woke up 2-3 times a night since he's been born... My daughter on the other hand, started sleeping through the night at 8 months old... I do know this much, all children are different and maybe it's just that your son needs more from you than your other child did, that's how I pretty much get through my days telling myself, he will eventually sleep through the night one day, but like you mentioned I too refuse to let him cry it out, he just needs his milk cup or to be changed and then I lay back down, I tried for 1 night only to let him cry it out and it was much worse, because he cried persisantly, so listening to the crying for as long as it takes or just getting up a couple of times a night to get what he needs... I too want to be able to sleep 7-9 hours straight without hearing any crying, noises, or having to get up then go back to sleep, but as a Mother this is what we signed for when we took on Motherhood(it's not easy, just rewarding, if you think about it)...Life is Great!!!! Just believe and know things will get better and the day will come for when you will get your needed rest... God Bless and Good Luck in all you do!!!

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M.D.

answers from Houston on

I cannot give you a 'success' story here because I don't use babywise and don't agree with it. I'm not here to question your methods either, I just want to suggest that your instinctual reaction to be hesitant to let him cry through the night is a good one. Babies are not meant to fend for themselves. He's only 8 months - what's the rush for him to grow up?

That said...I wish you happiness and success with your sleep challenges.

M.

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G.A.

answers from El Paso on

hi L., my son is 5 & 1/2 months old and we are doing pretty well with daytime and nighttime sleep, after some hard work on my part. he goes to bed fairly easily most nights at about 8 (after a solid routine of cereal, bath, book and nursing), wakes around 4am to nurse and goes right back to sleep, then wakes for the a day at around 7. he takes 2-3 naps anywhere from 1.0 - 2.5 hours during the day. we too liked the book Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child. by nine months children should not need to eat during the night. between 4 and 8 months it is okay to feed 1-2 times at night. we don't really like "cry it out" by definition, but if he wakes at night before 3:30am, i let him fuss for a few minutes and most of the time he goes back to sleep. if he gets too worked up i go in to check and console with the least amount of interaction possible and for only a few minutes, then i leave the room and let him cry for a little longer the second time. if he is still going, i repeat the process, but let him fuss again a little longer, etc. i only had to do this for three nights and now he ususally doesn't wake, but if he does he has learned how to put himself back to sleep. i think there is a happy medium between letting him totally cry it out and feeling like you abandoned him AND giving him the opportunity to learn the skill of self soothing. sorry about the blabbing - hope this helps. good luck and do what feel right to you.

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

I am glad y'all are having success with your daytime schedule. I read the Babywise book and personally did not agree with a lot of it. The book I used (and still use)to help my son get sleeping right is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. It really goes into sleep research and talks about how children should be sleeping at different ages. My son (15 months) sleeps from 7:30 at night till 7:30 the next morning and then takes a 2-3 hour nap during the day, so I am a way believer of his book. He gives good advice in the book on how to solve different sleep problems that are going on. He does actually say that at 8 months a night time waking or two to eat is natural and as long as the baby goes back to sleep right afterward than it is ok. (Even though it is hard on you.)
I started letting my son cry himself back to sleep at around 10 months when I knew he was ready for it. Before that when he was crying and it wasn't for hunger I had my husband go in and pat his back or rock him which always seemed to put him to sleep a lot faster than when I did it.
Hope this helps. Again I would really recommend just checking out the book it is wonderful and I have lots of other girlfriends that live by it too.

D.C.

answers from Houston on

I think the terminology of "Crying it out" is what causes so many controversies. It is important to realize that the method does not tell you to leave the baby in the crib crying for hours without any reassurance and monitoring by mommy and daddy. Remember that crying is one of the only ways that young babies communicate their needs, so we can't ignore them because then they will lose confidence in your response to their needs, but when a baby is developmentally ready, this method of "sleep training" is best for everyone--parents and baby. My husband was actually the one that took on this responsibility because I knew that I couldn't possibly stand my ground and handle not tending to my baby when crying...especially since I was nursing and just the sound of her crying usually instigated let down. Every child will be different in how long they will resist. The first night is difficult, but you go back at 5 min, 10 min, 15 min and 30 min (don't pick baby up), but reassure that you are still there and that they are OK..it's time for bed. then repeat each night until finally your baby will actually just go to sleep when you put him/her in the crib. Give it atleast a week and don't give in. If it hasn't improved after a week, I would question the likeliness of it's success versus negative impact on the baby. Good luck--may you soon have long restful nights.

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J.V.

answers from Houston on

some babies don't sleep thru the nite at that age. i'm with you, if a baby wakes up during the night and cries, he needs something. some dr.s compare it to an adult waking up and eating a hamburger at 2am, but if an adult has done it every single nite of his life, it would be a hard habit to break if it was suddenly stopped. my oldest was 2 1/2 years old before he slept all nite. he didn't continue eating at nite that long, but he would still wake up. my youngest slept all nite at 3 months, but didn't nap during the day.

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M.T.

answers from Austin on

Not sure what you feed him before he goes to bed but I used to mix my son's baby food with the baby cereal for his evening meal. This would fill him up and then I would bath him or read a story then put him to bed at 8. He would sleep through the night. I would wake him up around 6:30 to get him ready for the daycare and then he would only take I believe an hour and 1/2 nap during the day. This may vary depending on what your schedule is like. If he's waking up because he's hungry then yes you should feed him. He may not be getting enough before he goes to bed. What I found was when I fed my son just the baby food from the jar he would wake up sometime during the night and be hungry. If you haven't tried the cereal then definitely try it. It will fill him up and for a longer period of time. It's like the saying oatmeal sticks to the ribs. It keeps you satified longer. Hope this helps.
M. :D

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Well, first off let me say that I feel for you!! My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 months old and THAT about killed me!

But, it just seems like, because you have been feeding him in the middle of the night, that now he just expects it. He never really got 'weened' from it.....if that is the right word to use. And when you hear all the 'experts' talking about things you do too late, it usually means that getting them to stop doing whatever it is (not sleeping through the night, sleeping in your bed, etc), there will not be an easy solution.

I wish I had an answer for you, but it seems like to me that you may have to let him cry it out for a little while (I'm not a fan of the 'crying it out' method, but you might want to just try it once to test it....as long as he isn't doing his 'I'm in pain' cry). How long do you let him cry in the middle of the night before you go to him? Is he hot or cold.....uncomfortable in any way?

My daughter LOVES her blanket....it gives her something to hold to in the middle of the night.....is there anything in the bed with him that he might find comforting when he wakes up in the middle of the night??

Good luck to you!

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K.A.

answers from Austin on

He is using you as his pacifier. He doesn't need the nourishment he just finds you comforting. But, one of the greatest things you can do for him is to teach him how to comfort himself. We began letting our daughter cry it out during naps first and then moved it to when we first laid her down at night. Gradually we went to night time wake ups. It was hard, but now my daughter is 17 months old, and to put her to bed, we lay her down in her crib, give her lovie, and say good night! She puts her self to sleep. I am reaping the benefits now of my hard hard work a year ago!

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T.N.

answers from Houston on

I did not do Babywise (although I've heard its great), but I did use the "let them cry" technique (suggested by my mom and my mother-in-law). It took about three nights and that was it. I did it with both my kids. Unless of course they are sick or something like that, I'd let them cry. Its hard but you'll be glad you stuck with it.

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

My 10 month old grandson had to be rocked in order to fall asleep until about a month ago. His parents read that bad sleep habits need to be corrected before 6 months old or it's harder to correct. They thought they were mentally prepared to let him cry it out at 5 months old, but after 5 minutes my daughter was crying harder than he was, so her hubby let her go in an get him. About a month ago they tried again. He cried for about 15 minutes and fell asleep. There were a few times that it took more than 20 minutes. That was really HARD! Now he will go to sleep at night without crying or even whimpering. He never slept though the night when he was being rocked. He would wake up every 3-4 hours to be fed and rocked back to sleep. I think the problem with going in and getting them as soon as they start crying is that they don't learn how to go back to sleep by themselves. Now he goes to bed around 9:00, wakes up around 6:30, plays in his bed by himself for about 20-30 minutes, then goes back to sleep until 8:30-9:00 before crying to have someone go in there.

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J.S.

answers from Killeen on

I am the mother of a seven year old daughter and i had the same problem with her around the same age. My grandmother was the one who told me that as long as the baby was fed and dry and burped, ect. before bed, and she then cried.... that I needed to let her. It was very difficult for ME, i would sit outside her door, but, after a few nights the crying would stop sooner and sooner, and within two to three weeks she didnt do it anymore. The baby has to learn to self soothe. We have not had problems with it since.

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T.M.

answers from El Paso on

My daughter used to be the same way. You might try to put your baby to bed at 8 instead of 7, also are you giving your baby cereal right before bed. The cereal was the key for me she only woke up once or twice a night, your baby might just be a little more hungry than you think, mine was. Hope it helps!!

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D.L.

answers from Austin on

It just takes being patient. I tried every book out there and finally on his own around 10or 12 months everything just fell into place. Some children take longer to sleep through the night.(It could be worse my cousins 2.5 year old still wont sleep through the night! eek)Best wishes, I know he will come around soon, Just keep your head up!

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi L.. You didnt mention what you do when your son wakes up at night, so not sure what you have already tried.
Here is what i recommend. At Babies-R-Us you can purchase large springs that fit on the ends of the baby bed legs in lieu of the wheels that typically come with the beds. These springs allow the bed to gently rock with the baby's movements.

So, when the baby wakes at night crying, you can go pat their back and rock the bed without actually picking them up (picking up the baby in itself often awakes the baby even more). Hopefully this response will lul them back to sleep without reinforcing with the attention.

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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

I'm not up on all the latest books, but I will tell you what I did with both of mine. They are now 2 & 3 and they go to bed at 8:30pm and they both wake like clock work at 7:00 am each morning. my 3 yr old takes a nap every now and again, but always has quiet time. my 2 yr old still naps about an hour every day. My current bedtime routine is very easy and I don't have to stress every night worrying about when they are going to go to bed. They go to bed rarely with any fuss at 8:30pm. This started when they were about 6-8 months old. I have always had them sleep in their own bed. I use a white noise of some kind. I set up a routine. Eat, Bath, Book, Bed. They learn what is expected when. Now, the hard part as with anything we try and teach our kids is that learning how to self soothe is not something you can teach them. They have to find their own way. You just have to provide the opportunity. In bed by themselves with no help from you to learn how to calm down and fall asleep. They will get frustrated, they will cry. Then they will learn and then they have a skill set to help them the rest of their life!! They gain self confidence - they did it without you. Each kid is different and so it takes them all different time frames to get it, but once they do, then bed time will not be an issue ever again. Create a nice sleeping environment (go in at night and make sure there isn't a street light shining in the crib or a freaky noise happening, or a dog barking etc. Make it dark and with the white noise you drwon out house sounds that they can't understand yet. Then provide a lovie or a soft little blankie if your comfortable with that. She will have to do the rest on her own. Now, I would respond to my kid's cries, I wanted them to know I would always be there and I could always hear them. But as the night went on I responded slower and slower. Yes it is draining at first, but so worth it in the end. Then I eventually learned which cries really needed responded to and would only respond to a "I really need you cry only" now, when I respoded, I never picked them up. I would check them out make sure tey were ok temp wise, no stinky diaper, and that all was well. Then I would tell them it was still dark outside and that it was sleeping time. I would tell them to lay back down and call me when the sun in the window that mommy needs to sleep now. Then I would blow a kiss and leave. They would quiet down with me there and start to act up again when I left, but I knew they were ok and would figure it out. I would let them fuss until I heard that real cry, not the drama cry. close sounding, but not the same. Eventually they learn to do it and then they don't need you as much anymore. I also provide a sippy of water for my kids because I tend to get dry mouthed at night and that is one less ting they will need me for. Daughter took longer to do because I was new and slowed the process, but once my son came, well I had it perfected and so it was so much easier then. Just remember this, your child is smart. Trust that they can do this and can learn this skill and then step back and give her the opportunity as hard as it is. I feel for you though because I think it is almost harder letting them work it out on their own! We are about to start swimming lessons and I used to teach it as a summer job while going to college and it was the same there. They will get it when they get it and their isn't much you can do to help, but provide the correct environment and the opportunity. They have to go through the frustration and the trying and practice to figure it out. You will get through this and get your sleep back. Your daughter will not be scarred for life because you trusted her to learn to self soothe. However, it is pretty scarring to kids whose parents didn't allow them to learn the skill set and they can't sleep by themselves or fall asleep in a bed on their own and are scared later on of the dark and being by themselves etc... Hope this helps you and good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

Throw babywise in the trash. Please listen to your maternal instincts. Your 8 month old could be waking for a variety of reasons, he could be teething, he could be sick, he could be going through a growth spurt, etc, etc...Your baby will eventually sleep through the night.

My son is 2.5 years old and goes to sleep by himself and sleeps anywhere from 6-12 hours at a time. I am 31 years old and I sleep anywhere from 5-9 hours at a time. Do you always sleep through the night, or do you sometimes wake up if you are hungry, thirsty, too hot or too cold or do you sometimes wake up because you slept a couple of hours and feel refreshed and just can't seem to fall back asleep? Honestly, think about that before you force your BABY into "sleep training". Your baby will eventually get it, it sometimes just takes a little longer.

If you are nursing, you can try to nurse him more during the day and slowly decrease the night time feeds. He may be waking more for comfort, but at 8 months it could be because he is hungry. To catch up on sleep, take naps with him or put him into bed with you. My son nursed well past 1 year and when I was really drained, we put him in our bed and we all slept longer and I felt refreshed the next day. Now that he is weaned, he happily goes to sleep in his own bed and he has the confidence to do it.

I know this was not the answer you are looking for but felt the need to respond. Good luck to you and your little one.

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B.H.

answers from College Station on

As hard as it is letting the baby cry will remedy the waking. My now 2 1/2 year old went thru the same thing and now she goes to bed on her own and sleeps all night.

Good luck,
B

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

Hi. I have had to ignore both my daughters at different points in order to get them to quit waking up in the middle of the night. And it totally worked. They both reset their digestive and sleep/wake systems to sleep through the night.

And you are at exactly the right time to do it. By eight months they do have the ability to get through the night without eating.

I do recommend doing it early and sticking with it. You don't want to have them crying it out when they can call you by name. That is just too painful.

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R.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Babywise is not onesize fits all. Please research babywise before you decide to use it 100% of the time. Ask your dr. I was surprised when I did a little research on the authors to find out what kind of research (on babies sleeping) they did and what kind of dr's they were.
Your baby will only be little once. Enjoy it!!! Follow your instincts though. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide is best for you and your family.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I did what another mom suggested, I let my little man stay up later. I start the whole brush the teeth and bath routine about 8:15 or so, then when he is all relaxed and in his jammies I feed him around 8:45 and usually he is asleep in bed by nine. Sometimes I start the bedtime routine at 8:30 and he is sound asleep by 9:30. He sleeps until about 8 or 8:30am and has been doing that since about 5 months or so without even waking up for a morning feeding. What I do is just feed him really well during the day. When he was your little one's age I nursed 7 to eight times a day and gave him 2 meals of cereal and fruit or veggies. I think some kids are naturally more night people, I always was, so I decided to let mine stay up later and be good and tired and full when he went to bed. We didn't use baby wise but we did have to let him cry some just like another mom suggested, go with your gut. I would also suggest if you have a good man over there, listen to him! They are really good at helping you establish healthy limits for your kids.;) Anyway, maybe trying to feed him a bit more during the day and letting him stay up later will help. Best wishes!! :)

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V.L.

answers from Houston on

I let my little one cry it out. Took 2 nights and she has sleep 13 hrs ever since! It is heaven. I know some people do not agree, but it was the right choice for us. I am home at night by myself 48hrs shift rotation while DH works on a ambulance. I could not do it by myself and be awake and go to work on my hubbies day off. Do what you feel is right. A child will not be damaged or emotionally scared because they cried a little. He will not remember any of this anyways. Do you remember?

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J.H.

answers from Odessa on

My husband and I had to let our son cry when he continued to wake up in the night. It was the hardest thing to do but we promised each other we would do it. We would go in and check on him about every 10 min but not pick him up. The first night he cried and fussed for about 45 min, each night after that, the time got shorter and shorter until about the 5th night he didn't wake up until about 5 am. Good luck!

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R.C.

answers from Houston on

I have a six month old. My pediatrician said if he is not sleeping through the night it is a learned behavior (he cries, momma comes running.) His liver and stomach are mature enough at this point for him to be able to sleep through the night. You just have to train him to go to sleep and stay asleep. Be just a little bit slower to run out and scoop him up when he starts crying at night.

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

You are correct with your instinct to not let your baby CIO. It is curel, dangerous and is very outdated advise. Babies don't "comfort" themselves to sleep. The reason they stop crying is because their mother is not responding and they give up. Try these ideas: make certain your baby's tummy is full before you put him to sleep. One of my all-time favorite books is Super Baby Food. Even if you do not make your own baby food, it is an outstanding resource. We still make "Super Baby Porridge" for our whole family and my oldest is 7 1/2 yrs. Since your baby can roll over by himself at 8 months, try putting him to sleep on his tummy. I read the book Babywise three times and it did not work. It is so wrong. It goes against mother's natural instinct. Forget the pacifier. If it falls out, the baby will cry because it fell out in the middle of the night and he can't find it. What solid foods have you tried? Good ones to start with are sweet potato, avacado, porridge, banana. Good Luck! Hope this helps.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

L.,
I am a real devoted person to the Babywise books I and II. They never failed me as long as I did what it suggested with every stage.
Think about it, if you follow it for the day routine, and it works, then it will also work if you follow it for the night routine as well. Not to be harsh, raising kids will tug at your heart, but no baby ever died from crying at night. He will actually sleep better if you let him fuss himself to sleep. He NEEDS to expel that energy at the end of the day ~ think of it as his work-out! He is not "crying" ~ he is "grunting" through his exercise!
The best thing that you can do for yourself is to make light of his crying. Really, what baby ever grew up and told him parents.."Hey guys, how come you let me cry so long on January 15th at 11 PM! I mean...I just layed there crying and where were you? Probably downstairs havin' a snack and laughing at me!" (Which is actually what you should be doing!)
Baby's cry, it's a fact. But your "Mommy raidar" will tell you if he's in trouble or if he's just fussing.
Get some sleep! He will be fine. Good luck and God bless your little family. "Babywise" Rocks!
D.

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