Anybody Have Success with the Babywise Method?

Hey R.,

I've read all the responses here, all of them, and I tell you this because I want you to know that I am making an "educated" response to your question. I have two children, almost 5 and almost 3. Sometimes they are "great sleepers," and sometimes they aren't. We never put our kids on a schedule. I worked the first year of my eldest child's life and gave it up because I missed her too much. We took a hit financially, and it isn't always easy to stay home with my kids, but I think it's the right thing for our family. I give you this info because I think it completely informs whatever else I might say to you in reponse to your question. I read Babywise, and everything inside me said "no, not for us." When we were looking for a daycare for our first child, we encountered a 6 week old baby who was being given prune juice for constipation because his mother insisted on sticking to the Babywise schedule. The staffers were instructed to feed him a bottle of formula on a schedule and he was give a certain amount of time in which to finish it, or he was out of luck until the next feeding. At the daycare where we eventually put our daughter, and where I eventually took a job to be close to her, there was a little girl whose mother used Babywise and none of the staffers there felt good about it. This baby would cry to eat and initially we waited to feed her until the scheduled time, per her mother's request, but eventually we chucked the schedule and fed her when she cried to be fed. We put her down for naps whether she was sleepy or not, and she'd lay in that crib for an hour sometimes without sleeping. No one felt good about it. There are mothers who responded to you with the belief that children should learn how to self-soothe and that they should know that they are part of the family, not the center of it. I think the idea of teaching a child to self-soothe is ridiculous. I believe my job as a mother is to nurture my child, and when my children were very young, as yours is, I held them all the time, co-slept with them, fed them when they cried to be fed, essentially followed the "schedule" they set for themselves. This schedule changed as they grew older, and I accomodated it. At my daughter's daycare, they fed her when she was hungry, let her sleep when she was tired, and loved on her a lot. I made sure there was a low child-teacher ratio. There were 3 babies for every woman, and there were 3 women. Incidentally, if you are putting your daughter into a daycare, you should look for one that doesn't allow 13 babies to 2 caregivers, which is the state regulated allowance. Think about why you want her to have a "routine." Is it for you? Is it for her? My children are flexible-they don't "turn into pumpkins" at a certain time each night. They are self-confident and happy and spirited. I think some babies might do fine with Babywise, not because it's a great method, but because their parents are lucky. For some babies, Babywise is an exercise in forcing your child into submission. My in-laws used Babywise with their first child without any problem, but their second child cried and cried until they finally gave in after an hour or so and went to get her. She never napped after that, she was afraid to go to bed, and, at 4, she has been diagnosed as a "sensitive" child. She is a wonderful girl, but extremely insecure in any new environment or situation, sticks to her mother like glue, and cries at the drop of a hat. It was obvious, even when she was a baby, that she had a different personality from her sister, and had her parents responded to that, they might have saved her some difficulty down the road. They, btw, have expressed this themselves. Should children be the center of our lives? Maybe not. But, should they always be required to bend to our needs for sleep or "me time," or predictability? Definitely not, in my opinion. I don't know you, I don't know your personality, but I will say that a good rule of thumb in parenting is to do so with compassion. If your elderly mother were in a room crying for you, would you ignore her? Would you do so under the moniker of making her a "stronger, more self-sufficient" individual? Would you deny her requests for food until you thought she should be hungry? Your baby, your precious, helpless, wide-open to every stimulus and experience, good or bad, piece of you, will teach you, at this point, what she needs if you cue into her. Right now, she wants to be held to sleep. Will you give that to her? Or will you teach her to be "self-sufficient" so you can get the laundry done, or clean the house, or do any of the one million other things you could do if you could just put her down? Both of my kids sleep in their own beds now. My son naps great, although he can forego one if there is something really cool going on that we'd all like to do. There are times now when I think how short the time will be that I can hold their little bodies or nurse all of their hurts, physical and emotional. Already they are so busy and so much their own people. There were times when they were babies that I wished for sleep or just time to myself, I'm only human after all, and now I look at them and long for their babyhood. It all sounds so cliche, and it is, until it's your experience. So, there's my more than two cents. You will not be "setting bad habits" if you hold your daughter when she naps, or have her in your bed, or any other myriad of things that Babywise will eschew. Follow your heart, not your intellect at this point.

A.

We used the babywise technique with our now 2.5 year old. We started from day one and by 9 weeks he was sleeping through the night. I'm a big believer in kids being on a schedule, we don't keep a strict schedule with no flexibility but we do stick to a schedule for most of the day. He knows when it's nap time and goes down without a fight and the same is true about bedtime. I love the babywise technique I've only heard good things about it and I know from experiance it works.
I don't like to think of it as "crying it out" they're learning a skill that teaches them to go to sleep by themselves. I had a really hard time listening to my son cry too, but when I think about it, what seemed like hours was only a few minutes. They're not in pain or feeling abandoned, at this age crying is just the only way of communicating that they know. Try swaddling her when you put her down, that worked great with our son. He loved being swaddled and went right to sleep. If you do night feedings make sure that you have little or no lights on. That way she'll learn that night is for sleeping and pretty soon she will be sleeping through the night.
Make sure when you do go back to work that whoever watches her sticks to the same schedule. If you're the only one enforcing it it won't work.
Hope that helps. I found babywise a wonderful tool. Good luck!

I used the "schedule' part of Babywise with my son for about 4 months. It always felt wrong, and he was never happy. We switched to letting him find HIS own routine and it made all the difference. With number 2, I never even tried a schedule. I do have friends it worked for, but only because they had very easy going babies. It might be easier if you have a formula fed baby too, as they can go longer between feedings. Breastfed babies can go through a feeding in 45 minutes and be hungry again. Here's how I see it. I get hungry about a certain number of times a day. Some times I am more hungry than others. I never eat because it's a certain time, but more because I'm hungry to eat. Those happen to fall around the same times, but never at the same time every day. Also, I found that book to be very medically unsound. There were MANY claims they made that had no actual medical basis, which scares me.

http://www.ezzo.info/babywise.htm
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2001/july8/12.20.html

I should add, my daughter, who was NEVER on a schedule slept through the night much, much earlier (by a year almost) than my son who was on it. My point? Is it the method, or the child that dictates when they are ready to sleep through the night?

I really enjoyed the book The No Cry SLeep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. Maybe it would help you too. Good luck!

I love Babywise! But, I think even Babywise will tell you that 7 weeks is too young to expect a better sleeper than you have now, and if I remember right too young to 'cry it out' too. In fact I never had to let my babies cry it out ( I have 4 kids), they just naturally became good sleepers by following the eat, play, sleep pattern that BW (and the baby whisperer and the No Sleep Solution suggest) and always making sure that they got full feedings at least every 2-3 hours during the day and letting sleep as long as they will at night for the first about 12 weeks. My SIL has tried the baby whisperer with her first baby (he is a terrible sleeper) and the other book with next baby (she is still little so we will see what happens). Anyway, a lot of people who have never read BabyWise and have just heard from other people that it is bad will tell you to stay away from it. If you really read it (and take some aspects with a grain of salt) you will see that it is not the horrible thing that people say. But, as a mom you have to do what you feel is right. There were some things in BW that I did not do. But I will say, that I have great sleeping, happy, pleasant kids. My MIL always says that I am 'lucky' that my babies all slept so well, but I know otherwise ;D
Good Luck mama!

Although Ive never tried Babywise I have a dozen friends who have and swear by it. Ive heard nothing bad about it thus far. My "baby" now 16 months is a horrible napper and still sleeps in my bed. I wish Id heard of Babywise when she was little. Id say go for it. From what Ive heard its a lifesaver.

Hate it with a PASSION. Even the author has said it went too far. Also said that too many things were misintrepreted because there wasn't enough clarification. This caused parents to let their kids "Cry It Out" literally, from 20 minutes to 2 hrs. or more, and/or crying themselves into exhaustion. There has also been scientific evidence that crying like that hurts the ...was the word "synapsis?" in the brain, which is damaging. In addition, it makes the child feel they have no control over their world and that Mommy or Daddy don't respond to his/her only method of communication and just leaves them alone. It's a feeling of abandonment which, of course, they can't put into words.

By the way, I DID read the book, as my SIL lent it to me. It only works in theory. So many people, including my own doctor, told me that yes, it's a few nights or weeks of torture but worked for them....why torture at all? It worked? No, it puts the child into submission mode. I chose not to make my baby insecure. I did try it for a couple of nights, before hearing anything about it being wrong, and always regretted it. I didn't know at the time that this child was extra sensitive and extra fragile. This didn't come to light until he was 4. I can only imagine if I continued it. BTW, he'd cry until he'd throw up. Doctor thought it was no big deal....we've learned much better since, and the Dr. has backtracked on it, too.

In addition, there have also been too many reports of a child crying, with the parent not responding until later, to find that an arm or leg was caught in the crib slats, or the crib had broken and the child was caught wrong, was tangled up, a bug in the crib, or worse. In my case, and a huge influence on my decision, my nephew died when his parent needed sleep and chose for ONCE only to ignore him. They chalked it up to SIDS, but needless to say, she never let her subsequent children cry it out. Now, it's impossible to say that he may not have died if she indeed had come to his room, but it's just a terrible thing on her conscience. And it sucks because we all know how tired new parents are.

Everyone has their own opinion and own parenting style, including me. You know the best options for your family. However, evidence points away from this method.

That doesn't mean you have to be a slave. Have your husband/partner take the baby. Feed the baby at the same intervals before she is actually hungry. Don't make the intervals too long, though. One mom I knew kept her young infant, like yours, on an every 4 hour schedule and this baby got jittery, cried, and then basically had no energy because he was so hungry. But she was darned set on a 4 hr. schedule. That's a baby w/a tiny, easily emptied tummy. We as adults have a problem w/4 hrs. w/no snack. Sad to say, but I had to put mine on a 2 hr. schedule at first and chose to have them in bed w/me, nursing on my side, just so I could get some sleep. Have you checked out Happiest Baby on the Block yet? Dr. Sears books are great, too, especially the ones about attachment parenting (check out Amazon for the best price, description and reviews). The Baby Book is a good one of his.

Some books tell you that a baby has to learn to soothe himself. How can a baby learn if it doesn't know what to learn or has no model for it?

Do know that 5-10 minutes of crying shouldn't hurt your baby, even if she's caught in the slats of her crib (check the crib daily for signs of weakness). Sometimes they do fall back to sleep. I'm referring to the ones that go over 15 - 20 mins.

Babies full sleep range is actually only about 6 hours. Some even waken when they are going pee. They work though breast milk, as good for them as it is, in much less time than formula. Using formula to lengthen the sleep time, especially during the wee hours, may be a good choice for you (and I'm big on nursing, when possible). Be prepared to feed her 3-6 hours after she falls to sleep the first time, and unfortunately, about 5 in the morning. It stinks, but it is not forever, even though it feels like it is. And don't do it all by yourself. It took two to make this little thing.

And about naptime? I found the best thing was to lie down w/baby for the nap. I really had to get work done, but I found that I needed the nap as badly as baby did.

There's a book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby whose methods are much more flexible than Babywise. I found the Babybwise method too strict, inflexible, and made me feel like a bad mom when I wasn't successful. Healthy Sleep Habits helped me find my own method with different alternatives that helped me tremendously. By 4 months old, my baby girl was sleeping 7 hrs/night and now at 5 months sleeps at least 10 hours/night! Getting a whole night's sleep has been amazing. Good luck!

Do it! I have a 3 1/2 year old who to this day is the worse sleeper! I think it is in part of her being a spirited child, but mostly because we didn't know how to "sleep train" her. She was our 1st so any cry we would run to her...she wasn't on any routine. Needless to say, life was chaotic.
I started the Babywise routine when my baby (now 9 months old) was about 6 weeks. I can't really remember the exact age.... It has been a blessing! I LOVE it. We aren't on a tight routine...like I don't wake her up at the same time everyday. But when she does wake up we go from there....sleep, feed, awake, sleep, etc. I can't stress it enough~ it's the best!!!! If you have any more questions please feel free to email me :)
Good luck!
V.

Honestly the best advice I can tell you after having two of my own and another on the way is, let her set her own schedule, it's less stress and she'll eventually fall into your routine. I feel letting them cry it out is heartwreching for both parties, try different areas of the house, the swing, the stroller maybe leave the tv on for the noise at nap time, find something she likes. If all else fails, a sling is always the best way to get a good nap out of them, that way they're close to you and feel comfortable. That's the only way my second would nap for more than 15 minutes at a time.

A baby will not sleep like an adult. Please read other books like No Cry Sleep Solution. Babies need their moms and even if moms need sleep, babies don't have the same sleep patterns. 7 weeks old is WAYYYYY too young to cry it out and never works for naps. I did the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child but not until my kid was 7 months old and only at night. My fist baby took several 1/2 hour naps when she was that age. PLEASE don't let your brand new baby cry it out when all she needs is you. Babywise, in my opinion, is for people who care more about their own needs than what is best for their baby. Routines are great, my 3 yr. old is like clockwork, but see what schedule your baby gets herself on and then work around that, even if it is not ideal for you. That is the sacrifice we must make when we have kids.

Babywise can be very helpful- just remember to be flexible. Just because you do "Babywise" doesn't mean you believe in "crying it out" all the time, or being cruel.

Certainly there will be stages that they need to fuss a little, but that's normal and to be expected.

I used a basic schedule with all my boys and they were ALL sleeping through the night at very young ages. It was a real blessing. I think I would have gone nuts with 3 boys under 4 if I hadn't used a daytime routine. I started them after we got home and got settled. I wouldn't suggest starting it within the first week. That's too stressful.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email..... and I hope you can get some rest. I know you young moms REALLY need that!

I used Babywise for both of my boys starting around 2 months old although, I didn't follow it to the letter. I moslty used it to get my babies on a feeding schedule. As far as letting my kids cry it out, I didn't necessarily do that until they were about 3 months old and I only did it to a certain extent. It didn't take more than a few days for the crying to stop. I would let them cry for a few mintues and then go in and pat their backs and say it's ok and then leave the room and return after a few more minues, extending the time between my return each time. I never picked them up again once I put them in bed (unless they were hysterical). And for the feeding schedule, if they became hungry 15 minutes before their feeding time, I would feed them. I wouldn't let them be miserable, 15 minutes is not going to ruin the schedule. If they became hungry 30 minutes before the scheduled feeding time, I would try and distract them for 15 miutes or so and then feed them.

I read a few of the responses you've received and it sounds like many moms don't like Babywise but it worked well for me and the modifications I made to it were the right thing to do for my family.

As a parent, our job is to teach our kids to be independent and self sufficient. It has been hard for me at times to let my kids cry it out but I just reminded myself that I wouldn't be doing them any favors by 'helping' them fall asleep. I knew they needed to learn to fall asleep on their own. (My oldest is 6 and he's a great sleeper. My youngest is 14 months and he's a pretty good sleeper too. He started sleeping long stretches around 2 1/2 - 3 mths old and will ocassionaly wake at night but quickly falls back to sleep. In the morning he sometimes wakes early but falls back to sleep many times before getting up for the day.) At the same time, 7 weeks old may not necessarily be the right age to let a little one cry it out. You will know in your heart what is the right thing for you and your child.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Go with your gut and do what's comfortable for you.

R.,

Many people have the same issue you do about the "crying it out". This is not to be cruel to your child, no your not abandoning them and your NOT being selfish! You don't just let your baby lay thier and cry for hours. There is a method in comforting and reassuring your child thru this transition time. You will be teaching your child ever so gently on being comfortable on soothing themselves to sleep without the consist help of a sleep aid. Whether that be a person or object! Helping your child in thier first year be flexiable to the family routine is great for everyone. You will still have plenty of time for the best parts of cuddle time and affection with your infant!It helps the parents know when they can give undivided attention to the infant and still be able to function with the rest of lifes demands and/or other childrens needs! Rest assured if you are consisent in your efforts this is not a long period of time you will need to do it.(Two weeks at the most) With your child being 7 weeks old is perfect! This is really the age the child will start to pick up on the routine anyway.My children were sleeping thru the night (6-8 hrs) between 7-10 weeks old.Remember every child is different!

I have four children of my own. I did childcare in my home for 10 1/2 years. All my children but, the oldest were babywise babies. (Wish I had the book for my oldest!)
I got compliments all the time on my kids behavior. All the infants that came to my home for childcare were put on the schedule. I had mothers come crying to me two weeks after I started thier children on babywise because life was so much better for EVERYONE of the family. The babies were very happy and pleasant to be around and when the parents needed to do thier "evening unwinding" or help with the needs of others in the family they knew exactly when they could do it without the guilt of not being able to give personal time to others!

With everything there are trade offs. Hopefully these wont be a deterrant for following the program. The only one issue that has been consist with some of my friends is the one were the child likes to sleep in specific places. Whether that be thier own bed, carseat or playpen. It is the place they know as thier unwind personal time to relax. This can be easily solved by not putting the child in the same place everytime (ie...thier bed) for naptime. Still stay active and teach your baby that nap time could be for example his carseat with a blanket over the top so there is no visual stimulation.

I love the program and it is very similiar to what my mother also did with her 8 children before the book even was published! I will have to admit it was torture for my mother-in-law. She fell in the way of raising children that you don't wake a sleeping baby and everytime they cry feed them. I would probably still be sleeping days up at night and nursing 24 hrs a day! LOL!

Good luck with what ever you and the father decides! It is a joint effort.You have to do what is best for your families personality. Motherhood is the hardest but most fullfilling calling in life you will every be blest with! Have fun and remember to keep laughing. No One is Perfect in everything! :)

Rebecca
35 yr old SAHM of four children married to an awesome man 16 1/2 years and loving it!

R.,
I don't know about the babywise method, but I really think that trying to get a 7 week old baby on a routine is a little early. My first son got on a good routine (not from a method, just one we did ourselves) starting at about 12 weeks. The same is true for our second son. They have both become very good sleepers and nappers. It just takes time. They don't develope good sleep patterns until they are a little older and more alert for longer periods. The biggest thing is sticking to the routine you decide on! Of course it doesn't have to be super rigid, but you do need to make sure you stay with it most of the time :) Also remember every child is different, so what works for one may or may not work for another! Good luck!
J. :)

If you hate the idea of crying it out, listen to your motherly instincts. We have instincts for a reason and if it breaks your heart to hear your little one cry, don't let her. You don't have to.
I see some responses had great luck with babywise. I'm not a supporter of the method only because it seems mostly cruel. One "benefit" that you will hear is that these babies are "better" adjusted, some say they have higher IQ's (are more advanced), etc. But we just waited for our kids to find their own schedule. And they DID find it on their own. We are all born with an internal clock. You just need to help your baby find out what her clock is and not force your own clock on her. Know what I mean? Your daughter will not stay up till all hours at night the rest of her life.
Our daughter didn't really get on much of a schedule till she was nearly a year. But our son had one from day one. So it really varies from baby to baby. Start learning to read her cues. At 7 weeks, this can be hard. Especially since you are a first time mom. It takes patience and practice.
And for the "benefits" of scheduling a child, our non scheduled children are both ahead of the "average" kid their age. At 22 months, our daughter's IQ equivalent was 142!
So do what you feel is best. As an alternative to Babywise, try also reading on attachment parenting. It's best to know both extremes before deciding on a method. Then when you decide how to handle the situation, you will know all aspects instead of stepping into something without knowing the alternatives.

used it with all four of my kids, now 12-16 years old! works great!

I used the babywise feeding schedule w/ all 3 of my girls & I have 2 sisters who have used it w/ their kids ..... 8 kids in all & we swear by it! Our kids started sleeping through the night earlier than others I heard who didn't use it & it was easy to schedule your day cause you knew pretty well what your baby's schedule would be for the day. I highly recommend it!

i have 5 children. i did not use babywise with my first only because i did not know about it. he "started" to sleep through the night about 5 months. and that was only 5 hrs. at a time.
the last four ALL slept through the night by 8-11 weeks. that's 8 hrs or more straight through! they took naps consistently and were all on schedules.
you say you don't want her to cry it out, but that is such a temporary necessity to achieve what the entire family needs. if you just read the book first, it makes sooooooo much sense. it's really better for the baby to be on a schedule (in the book there are times to make exceptions...it's not a nazi book). i've done it 5 times and don't regret any of it for a moment.

Babywise worked GREAT for us! I'm an older firstw timke mommy too, and my now 9 month old was sleeping through the night (at least 6 hours) by 8 weeks. He has always been a good napper because we started "teaching" him how to sleep from day one. I like the Babywise method because it gives the parent control instead of the child. There are definitely times that baby will tell you when he/she is hungry (we just went through a growth spurt and he did wake up in the night for a feeding but now he's back to sleeping 8-10 hours a night!) but I would have been feeding my son 24 hours a day if I let him have his way! I also like that it teaches kids to have some wake time or play time after eating and before taking a nap. Anybody can take a nap on a full tummy, but then they aren't learning to go to sleep. The other thing that really helped me was establishing a routine before nap and bed. This included diaper change, short story, and a song (while rocking)... but I ALWAYS put him down to sleep awake so he can fall asleep. He may be sleepy, but never asleep. I also give him a pacifier ONLY when sleeping, and he's finally at the age where he can find it and put it back in if he wants to, but he also wakes up a night sometimes, fusses, and goes right back to sleep. The other thing I do a little differently with my son is he stays up a little later right now so he doesn't wake up before dawn. I give him his last bottle at 9pm and he's in bed by 10. He usually sleeps until at least 7am... without waking mommy and daddy! But if you need ot be up earlier for work, you can just modify your feeding/sleeping schedule to fit your working schedule. Now my son's schedule is pretty predictable. He wakes around 7 and then is usually up for about 3 hours before a nap. Sleeps for 1.5-2.5 hours. Lunch, up for a couple hours, then down for a nap. Up around 5:30 for dinner and then stays awake until bedtime. It takes a few days of learning (which means some crying for both baby and mommy) but trust me, it's worth it! I love getting a good night's sleep and my son is a happy kiddo too! My last thought... we live in a society where kids grow up learning that "it's all about them" and that doesn't fly in our house. Parent directed feeding helps kids learn that their place in this world is as PART of the family, not as the center of the family. Good luck whatever you decided as you go back to work!

As you can see, people have strong opinions about Babywise. We used Babywise for our son. I don't think it's fair for people who have never tried the method to project such a negative opinion about it. Babywise is not the easiest method, because of it does require allowing your child to cry. However, I beleive that they need to learn to put themselves to sleep and not rely on you to hold them, rock them, feed them, or anything else to help them go to sleep. It also helps them seperate their nights and days. Our son slept through the night at 12 weeks using Babywise. We continued to use the method until he was well after his first birthday. He is now 3 years old and continues to be a great sleeper/napper. Overall, he is a very happy, well adjusted little guy. I don't think that there are long term negative effects of letting him cry as a baby and putting him on a schedule.

I know as moms, we all want to do what is best for our kids. Do what you think is right for you and your baby.

Good luck!

I did the Babywise method with both of my kids and it worked beautifully and they both are great eaters, nappers and night sleepers. Do what it says and it will pay off. Everyone I know that used this method had success. It doesn't happen over night. You will have some rough times during transition, but don't give up. Good luck.

Hey,
If you feel that the "cry it out" methods would be hard for you "Babywise" might be a little too cut and dry and extreme in that particular area. There's a good book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I think she makes a lot of good points in there. However, her method will take a lot of time and patience. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. leaned a little more towards the "Babywise" style but I felt it had a little more of an a la carte approach. Once we'd weeded through it and took just what made sense for our family, it was very affective and our child has been sleeping 12 hours straight a night with no problems ever since.

Hi R.,
I'm a big Babywise mama: it really worked for both my sons. I'm not going to say it's the best, or only, way to go, though.

At 7 weeks old, it will be difficult to start your little one on *any* feeding routine, so the sooner you start one, the better. Your baby *will* cry, that's just going to be a part of making the switch, but babies cry anyway. Also, starting the program at 7 weeks, you might not get the results at 8 to 12 weeks because baby's developing digestive system needs to get used to the change, too.

Who will she be staying with? If it's daycare, your routine will have to match theirs, and you'll have to follow-through with it on weekends, so if they don't do babywise, or something like it, (nap-feeding-play-nap), you'll be hitting your head against a wall. :(

The most helpful points of Babywise in your situation may be: babies do better with a routine; and give enough feedings during the day that your little one will eventually have enough nutrition to sleep through the night.
In the end you are the Mama, and you know what your baby needs.
Good luck, and happy baby :)
t

As you can see from the responses some people feel they have success with the babywise method. (Would they have been as successful with other methods?..we will never know) Some people partially. (Works with some kids not others within the same family) And from some info on the internet, it is clear Babywise was disasterous. The child's temperment and the parent's philosiphy about their own parenting role probably has a lot to do with this.
What concerns me most about babywise is the lack of sound research behind it. Some Babywise studies the author makes sweeping generalizations about are based on about 500 surveys. That is not very extensive. Parent surveys are pretty subjective too.
The fact that the author (Ezzo) keeps going on in his series...toddlerwise, childwise, teenwise etc, makes you wonder how devoted he is to the well-being of infants. He does not attempt to learn more about this one particularly vulnerable group. Yes his book has been updated, but after quite a bit of controversy.
I am an attachment parent..but read babywise to see what all the fuss was about. Some of the stuff put forward flies in the face of all known reputable research, BUT some ideas are quite reasonable, but you can find them elsewhere. In less controversial books/articles.

Hi R., I haven't used babywise, but I have met several parents who have been successful with it. We decided that sleep training wasn't right for our family in any form. My son takes a nap about the same time every day and goes to bed about the same time every night. He still wakes every 3 hours at night, but I think he has a crazy fast metabolism and since I'm still breast-feeding he goes through the milk faster than regular food. I agree with trusting your instincts and meeting your baby's needs, but I also agree that you need to find a way for her to sleep on her own. I did extensive research on sleep training and found that, in general, it shouldn't be done prior to 5 months and is better to start at 6 months. Most babies do develop their own schedule, especially if she's going to be in childcare. As for getting her to sleep longer...my son had the same trouble. It was awful. It wasn't a matter of wanting to get stuff done around the house, etc. I couldn't eat or even go to the bathroom when I wanted because he'd fall asleep on me and I didn't want to wake him up. We transitioned him by putting the boppy in his crib and laying him in it. Our Dr said this was fine as long as we were awake and able to check on him. It was a gradual progression, started with him sleeping about 20 minutes, then 30, and so on. It took about two weeks for him to be able to sleep without using the boppy. Eventually he was sleeping for 45 minutes, then an hour, and now 1.5-2 hours at a time. We also discovered that if rocked him to sleep with a blanket on his back (not swaddled just on his back) then when we laid him down he wasn't going down right onto the cold crib mattress. Good luck, hang in there. It does get easier. Do more research about the "CIO" methods. I was surprised that they are not recommended for young babies.

I am a supporter of some Babywise ideas. Every baby is different and some can go for longer periods of time between eating than others, and they should not be put on a set clock and expected to follow it. I don't support making a young infant cry it out for longer than a couple of minutes (hey, sometimes you have to go to the bathroom or something!). What I found to helpful about babywise was the "sleep, eat, awake-time" pattern during the day, with a "sleep, eat, sleep" pattern at night. I really felt like it was helpful in giving my babies and I some sort of schedule. I wasn't offering the breast first at every newborn cry because I had some idea when the next feeding might need to be. So, I was more likely to find success with other soothing methods between feeding times. Both of my kids were healthy and started "sleeping thru the night" by 8 weeks old.

One important thing though, when I say sleeping thru the night I mean taking their longest stretch of sleep, usually 4-6 hours at their youngest age and eventually getting to anywhere from 8-12 hours, in one stretch at night. If you talk to your pediatrician, at 7 weeks old sleeping 5 hours at night IS "sleeping thru the night." [See: http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-the-basic...] But, as you are probably not getting to enjoy this long strech of sleep starting at 7pm, I would suggest that you work on moving her "night" back a bit to whenever your bedtime is. I know that is sometimes easier said than done, but I was able to manipulate both of my baby's sleeping patterns, using the babywise feeding/sleep patterns that I mentioned above and by waking them after 2 hours or so whenever they would go to sleep too early in the evening. Then, I would do our betime routine before MY bedtime, and tuck baby in bed when we were BOTH ready to enjoy a few uninterupted hours of sleep. Generally, this meant that I would put the baby down between 10 and 11pm and get to sleep until around 4am. That schedule doesn't last forever, though. Once my girls started solids (as both were solely breastfed---using formula, your baby MAY be able to go longer before starting solids)and they became more capable of sleeping for longer stretches. I started putting them down earlier, and they began sleeping for longer periods. By, one year, each of my babies slept from 7-8pm until about 7-8am. At 2.5 and 6.5, both are still on that general schedule.

Anyhow, good luck in solving your sleep issues. Just remember the first year goes by SO fast, even though it doesn't seem like it when you're up doing a feeding at 3am...

God bless.

Hey, Rebecca -

I see that most mamas here are pro-babywise, but I want to send a BIG caution your way. Babywise has been given negative reviews by just about every medical association out there. I wanted to try it with our baby, despite being advised against it by all of my medical caregivers - thankfully I gave up on it after a while, but not until I'd had several nights of my new baby crying endlessly for hours trying to let her "cry it out." And 7 weeks is WAY too early for a regular sleep schedule. Can you take more time off of work? Or have you considered staying home with your new little one? I have (philosophically at least) burned my copy of Babywise and will NOT be going back to it with our next little one. There is a time and a place for crying it out, but with new little ones is not the right place. I tried co-sleeping for the first six months instead, and it worked beautifully b/c baby could nurse when he wanted to and I could sleep.

Best wishes! This is a hard subject of parenting!! Blessings as you work out what works best for you.

Hi R.! I am also a 32 yr old first time mother of a 9 wk old. I am (or will be) a working mom and plan to go back to work when my baby is about 4 months. I have read BW and am LOOSELY following the method, which I think is appropriate for our little infants. My 9 wk old has slept 6-8 hrs a night since she was 2 wks old. After the 6-8 hr stretch she will then sleep for one 3-4 hr stretch. I think this is attributed to her size (8 lb at birth), lots of luck, and a flexible feeding schedule (note the words flexible and schedule). From early on (wk 2) I have never let her sleep more than 2-3 hours during the day. After the 3-4 hr stretch in the am, I will wake her to feed in 2-3 hr intervals. In the evenings she is fussy and I will often feed even a little more frequently (1.5 hrs) to quiet her. I think of it as 'power feeding' before her long stretch of sleep.

My pediatrican supported this method and said that newborns need X number of feedings a day. If you get these feedings in during the daytime hours, your baby may sleep longer intervals at night.

Good luck to you! Feel free to contact me off-line...sounds like we are in similiar situations. Take Care.

We are a babywise family here and it has worked for both of our children!! It just takes some time and paitence but I have an almost 4 year old who still is an awesome sleeper and napper!! and a 14 month old who has slept through the night from 9 weeks old.. she is in bed at 6pm and sleeps untill 8am and takes two naps (cutting back to one soon though!) Hope you have great success!!

Hi Rebecca! I have a 5 month old, and I have to tell you - the Baby Wise method saved our lives! My son loves consistency, and when we stray too far off his schedule, he is one cranky baby! When he is on, he is happy, healthy, and predictable! My husband and I are able to have a life and make plans too. I also read The Baby Whisperer, which is basically the same idea, except it does not use the "cry it out" method. The "cry it out" doesn't work for our family, so I used the "pick up put down" method for our baby instead of the "cry it out". I recommend reading The Baby Whisperer as well! The beauty of having your own baby is that you can take great ideas from different sources and find out what works for your family. Our 5 month old wakes up at 7, eats every 4 hrs, takes a 2 hr nap in the am, and a 2 hr nap in the pm, a 45 min catnap at 5, and is asleep by 7. He nurses at 11 and goes right back to sleep, and sleeps for the rest of the night until 7am. I am telling you, it is not easy, but if you stick with it, it works, and it is SO WORTH IT!! Good luck!!!