It can be scary how quickly feelings can wax and wane in a relationship, especially after marriage and children! However, it's all pretty normal. My hubby was the type to do nothing around the house, stay out with his friends for 8 hours or so after work, leave me home with the kids all day, and think nothing of it. Parenting was a difficult adjustment for him. His way of dealing with all of the "man issues" it brought up was to NOT deal with it. It was very hard for me. It took us a long time to get our communication straight and lets face it, even when your communication is great, it's always something that's a work in progress. I get up in the morning and pack my hubbys lunch every day before he goes to work. I (almost) always put in a nice, lovey, spicy, or silly note - some days it is hard to write something because I feel like I hate his guts and just want to leave, but I always try to say something sincere that will keep a good connection between us, and remind him that I love him (which is true even when I hate his guts!) :) Men get all "hormonal" after we're done being pregnant lol. They freak out about providing enough money and working enough hours, they feel uncomfortable taking on parenting responsibilities so they don't, (I had to trick my hubby into feeding the baby by happening to have a pressing errand to run while his friends were over and the baby was hungry and cajole him into fingernail trimming over several months) Many men feel that they don't have parental intuition, or assume that we'll just do it better, so they leave it to us. My husband has told me many times that he'd love to have to do all the parental things and really connect with them that way, but that he just couldn't make himself do it when I was home because he knew that if he didn't I would take care of it anyway. Don't stress out too much about the whole thing. Drifting apart and together is a natural cycle in relationships. Ideally, it just doesn't swing *too* far one way or the other. Personally, I found the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" to be helpful in understanding where my husband was coming from in a general way and I felt it did help me communicate with him better, even though I was afraid it would be a cheezy read. Just keep plodding away at it and remember your deep feelings at the heart of the whole thing and not the temporary upheavals and resentments. Just keep being honest with him about your feelings, periodically stating your needs without being "needy" and try to have compassion for his recently changed world view. So many men really struggle so much in the first year or two. They experience such a drive to care for their family, and such an awkwardness about caring for the baby that they end up distancing themselves. Your hubby still loves you, he's just giving himself some space to work through his issues on his own time - which you should respect as much as possible, but do remind him that you are an equal half of the picture and he should respect your needs as much as he can as well. Just make sure that you are each being honest about the concessions you are willing to comfortably make with your partners (and your) best interests in mind - that way the chance to build resentments is lessened.
Plus, staying at home is hard, particularly if you are new to it. You do need extra attention from and interaction with your hubby since you don't get to see any adults all day!! As a SAHM of 6, I *totally* understand, however, it's not really fair for you to place the burden of you having rewarding interactions with other adults soley on him. Join a mom's group. Volunteer (even something you can help with from home). Visit family or friends. Strike up convrsations with other ladies at the grocery store, etc. It will help you out TREMENDOUSLY. Not only will your hubby feel less like you desperatly *need* his attention all the time, and that he can give it to you as a token of his love, and not just his duty, but it will help you have something else rewarding to focus on besides the minor ups and downs of your relationship. (Its easy to get washed away in these when you are a SAHM I think) Plus, it will remind your hubby that you are a woman who is doing her own thing and is likeable and active in the adult world, not just the "mommy" he may simply be seeing you as right now (which may be part of the intimacy issue in addition to stress, etc) It's hard to reach out sometimes, but well worth it. I hope that things will resolve themselves nicely for you. I know this can be really scary and difficult to feel like you can "deal" with. Bright Blessings.