your husband suddenly took discipline too far for your liking?
do you speak up and risk getting his anger directed towards you even if it means you will end up hurt?
stay quiet and pray that he quits?
grab the kids and run?
another reaction i havent thought of?
**disclaimer this didn't happen to me but i witnessed another mother in this situation. saw how she reacted and was curious as to how others would react if their childs dad suddenly went too far**
the child (3 or 4) suddenly decided to throw one of those classic on the floor screaming kicking tantrums. dad roughly picked him up and informed him that if he didn't stop he was going to get his a$& whooped. my family was walking out of the store behind them so i distracted my own children from this display. as they were walkin to their car the child screaming got louder and was screaming stop it your hurting me, no no no, i don't want you touching me. etc. the mom just kept the other child close (in a busy parking lot) and got them in the car while not really looking at the dad nor the screaming child. while the child was screaming the dad could be heard saying how he was going to beat the s^$# out of them. i did for a brief second make eye contact with mom and she looked like she knew he was over the top but she didn't do anything to stop the dad. and looked scared.
there is no way i could call cps or even the cops, the family would of been gone by the time cops got there and other than knowing they drove a grey older car i have no other identifying information.
You actually saw an adult become abusive/discipline towards children that YOU consider 'too far'? Since you are a witness, you should call CPS. Most often these cases are never report due to hearsay.
The mother you witnessed may be so scared of this man that she would never call for help.
I've not been in that situation so I don't know what I'd do.
I am fiercely protective of my daughter and I feel strongly that that I would stand up to anyone who I felt was going to far or hurting her.
If a man ever pushed or hit me, I would press charges the 1st time. I would not wait for something else to happen.
My late husband was raised in a disturbed home and witnessed horrible things as a child. He left his mother's home at age 13 and never saw her again.
Violence is something neither of us would put up with, especially toward our child.
I would protect my kids, just like I would if they were being attacked by any other adult, and I would protect both my kids and myself after getting out the situation by reporting it to the police and filing a restraining order.
That said, I haven't been the victim of prolonged domestic violence. It's easy for people who haven't been there and done that to judge. I'm sure of what my reaction would be as I did report my ex to the police for pushing me. I wasn't hurt, but I wasn't going to stand there and wait until he broke my wrist or gave me a black eye to draw the line. We had multiple court dates before I agreed to not pursue the charges further. He knew that if he ever tried to physically dominate me again, or was violent towards the kids, i wouldn't hesitate to go to the police again. Thankfully this was a once and done incident that happened years ago.
I think it depends on what you mean by "too far".
If a person was lighting children on fire I would not "stay quiet". If a person was yelling and cursing, maybe I would try to quietly discuss it in a cooling-down moment.
I have never been in that situation. My husband would never hurt any of us.
That said, if he had gone too far, I would say something and yes I would put myself in harms way. That is my job, I'm the Mom. Mess with my kids, you better hope the police get to you before I do.
I can't really speculate on a hypothetical situation with so few details.
That said, I would speak up. If Kiddo and my husband have conflict, I do my best to let them handle it. If I feel like things are going nowhere (usually my son is in arguing mode, which is normal for his age), I might intervene because I see that they both need to take a break and cool off. It's never come to the point that I was worried for my son's safety.
If I can't handle my husband's anger, why on earth would I ever think my son could?
Because of my life's circumstances, I know I could leave a bad situation and be on my own because I've actually done it (both with my mom and later, my emotionally abusive ex-husband). If you've never done it before, haven't been truly financially and emotionally independent, that's a much harder thing to face. It can be terrifying-- but for some, being on the other side of that gives us courage to know we *could* do it if need be. For a long time in my life, I also didn't think I could. So, there you go. I can't judge-- I can only know what I would do, or not do, for my kid and myself.
It really depends what too far is. In my life, I would speak up, but I married a guy that wouldn't ever lay a hand on me and I never feared for my safety. The person you saw has probably seen this escalation of anger many times and who knows what the home life is like? I hope she finds some help.
It's a domestic situation and they are some of the most dangerous calls police can get called out on.
The trouble is - even if the family is beating on each other - when an outsider comes to try to break it up - they will close ranks and start fighting together against the non family member.
If someone speaks up on behalf of a kid (or spouse) - an abuser might take it out on them even worse when they get home.
I don't know what I'd do.
My own safety and my family comes before others - so I might not get involved.
Wow. It sounds like this woman is an abused spouse and that the children are being abused. If you witnessed this, I can only imagine what is happening behind closed doors.
You aren't giving us details to go on here. If he went too far physically, a call to DSS might be in order.
And like the other posters say, she should step between him and the children if he is trying to hurt them. There's a difference in a spanking and a beating and NO one should allow their children to get beaten by an angry spouse.
I'd rather take the heat from my kids.
Pray? FTS. The only thing I ever got accomplished on my knees was scrubbing floors and giving head. Get off your knees and on your feet.
Take the kids and leave.
I would speak up and leave immediately.
But I also would divorce and not stay in this relationship!
What did you do when you saw it?
My dad was abusive and it was challenging for my mom with 5 kids. Eventually she left him. I was a young teenager at that time.
I knew I would never repeat what my mom experienced. Therefore, I became very successful in my career mostly to never depend on someone. I have very little tolerance with anyone that is aggressive or abusive due to my childhood and would speak up and it will have consequences for that person.
What do you mean by "you will end up hurt"? Do you mean physically hurt??
Regardless, I would speak up and risk getting his anger directed towards me.
