Single Hood

Hi C.!

Wow! I commend you on devoting yourself to your daughter! But, you do have to find the balance between being a parent, and being an adult woman with her own set of wants and needs!!! In today's world, we have to be so multi-faceted that it takes alot to dispense energy in so many different areas of our lives. It is so easy and sometimes seemingly natural for mothers to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own. You might have to have a talk with you daugther about mommy wanting to do adult things, like spending time with friends, and sometimes that friend might be a girl or a guy. Let her know that NO ONE will ever take her place and that you will never stop loving her or putting her first. This might sound cliche, but the grocery store and the public library are actually a great place to meet guys LOL!, but you can try attending social events, or even outings with your girlfriends. I have friends and family that have also done matchmaking sites like E-Harmony, or you might have a friend or family member recommend a guy they think you may click with. Have FUN with it and take your time! I hope this helps!

N. D.

PS: I am 28 and married with two boys but I still like to have a good time with my single and married girlfriends! If you are open to hanging out in a group setting, let me know!

I agree with the other advise given. I am now happily married to a wonderful man who is a great step father to my now 13 year old. I have been where you are now. You need more in your life than work and your daughter. But I understand how hard it is to meet guys. When I finally started dating again after my divorce (I spent 3 years soley devoted to my son before venturing into dating again), I did Match.com. I always met the guys in neutral places for just coffee or a drink. I met some nice guys, and luckily no creeps!! The one thing I did NOT do was get my son involved with any relationship until I knew it was leading somewhere. I would tell him I was "going out with friends", I would not get picked up at the house unless he was already asleep or staying over grandmas, and I would try and not talk on the phone until after bedtime. I really did not want guys in and out of his life.
The funny thing is that while I was dateing on Match, I met my husband through my job!! We had talked on the phone before and finally one day met face to face and just clicked, as well as it being the right time in both of our lives to meet.
Your daughter will always be first but you need to take care of yourself as well!!
best of luck!
K.

I think that you will meet your special someone when it is the right time. Ironically, after the previous response, I met my hubby in an online chatroom, that I was only in for about 10 minutes (and not even searching for anyone to date at the time)! You never know where he will pop up, and you can't plan where to search him out. I agree though, if/when you do start dating, to keep it away from your daughter until it is a more serious relationship. As for loneliness, and what I said about how you can't plan.. maybe until Mr. Right pops up, try and get yourself out and meeting other girlfriends. Maybe search out some kind of a group or something in your area to meet up with other moms and their kids, would give you a chance to have others in your life...a good friendship that you could involve with your child may help. There should be some kind of a playgroup or something along those lines. And you never know...through something like that may be how you meet your special someone!
K.

Hi C.,

I am currently in the same boat myself. My son is now nine and I spent a few years without any real adult contact. Once I started going insane because of lack of adult conversation, I decided it was time for "big people" time; when I did start dating again, I always told my son I was going out with friends, never on a date. I also never allowed anyone I was dating to pick me up, I always arranged to meet them elsewhere. I don't know how difficult it is for you, but getting a babysitter is a job within itself, so I am looking for other moms to venture out with that have kids around my son's age. You know what they say, you always find Mr. Right when you are not looking.

C.,
While I am happily married, I have had friends who are in the same boat. I think the hardest part for them was having to raise their kids alone. You seem to be doing good at that, so keep it up. Our kids are the constant in our lives and when we are happy with them everything else follows suit. I understand the lonely part, my mom was a single mom, and i remember how lonely she was especially with the holidays approaching. Just remember that you won't find Mr. Right, he will find you. And when he does, you will know it.