Should I Give up and Leave?

First of all, Hello and I hope you are in good spirits today. DO NOT CONTINUE WITH THIS MARRIAGE. Your family will always be there for you and no matter what your past life was, it does not mean you are a bad person. I was in a very abusive relationship for 7 years to the point of not talking to my own family members and being extremely depressed. You are worth so much more in this life and am sure you can try to find a community daycare that is cheaper or maybe a family member than can assist you. Believe me the self esteem and self love you lose is never worth another persons insecurities. The relationship I was in was so bad to the point I went from weighing 150 to 300 plus pounds. I couldn't even order my own food at a restaurant and was not allowed to attend most family parties. I today am married to a beautiful man and have 1 child but I still deal with trauma and insecurities from my past relationship. It has been almost 9 years and wish I could change the past hurt but it made me who I am today, struggles and all. I was always lying to family members and the emotional scars are still being healed to this day. God loves you and know you have a friend here. God bless you and your family and hope you get rid of this toxic waste you currently have in your life.

Yes, your relationship is not healthy and you should leave. If you need support please get counseling or if you can't afford it or need more information to make a plan, please consult a women's shelter. Their staff is trained to help you sort this out. I'm sorry but please do this quickly.

I haven't been in this situation with kids but I left a man after close to a decade who was a total a-hole. And it was hard. So I had to remind myself I deserved better. And if I had had children, I would have kept repeating "they deserve better. They deserve a happy mom and a mentally healthy mom".

I think that is the greatest gift you can give to your children.

My husband had a mom who felt she deserved to be abused (by her parents). Weird situation, but it's horrible to be brought up by a parent who thinks they don't deserve to be treated with respect. Your kids will come to pity you and wish you'd stand up for yourself.

So - know that every day, every step, makes you stronger and you can do it. And you deserve better.

Reach out to whoever you can, or an agency, to get help to do the first step. Good luck

LEAVE .. TODAY!!!!
You husband is abusive you deserve better. You can get counseling to understand why you were attracted to two abusive men and married them. He will have to pay child support and may have to help with the cost of childcare.
Don't worry about the money or how you will support yourself and the kids .... LEAVE TODAY.

Do not wait, right now, today, pick up the phone and talk to someone at your local domestic violence shelter. They will be able to help guide you.

Staying isn't giving your children a view of a happy marriage looks like. You should consider leaving and being by yourself until you figure out why you keep choosing men who aren't really good guys.

This is a domestic violence situation. I am a survivor and this sounds to me like it could escalate very quickly. No one should ever hurt you. It isn't what love is. It's power and control. Google the "Power and Control Wheel" and see if he fits the criteria of an abuser. Sometimes it helps if you can see it on a chart, but from what you posted this is classic DV behavior, and your life may be in danger. Could be today or years from now but why waste your time or risk your life, or teach your kids that this is how a relationship works?? It seems so impossible, they know how to wear you out and wear you down. You can do this! Also the national domestic violence hotline can point you to resources to help get you and your kids out. You don't deserve to walk on eggshells, and your KIDS don't either. You think they don't know, but they always do. Bless you and good luck 💜💜💜🙏

You have to leave. There is absolutely nothing good that will come from staying. I am so sorry you are going through this, but there are many resources that can help you start over.

Your children are little now. They might not realize it yet, but whether your husband hits you in front of them or not, they are going to start noticing very soon that things are very, very wrong between the two of you. As adults, they will form relationships based on what they grew up with - if they see you being abused and accepting it, they will learn that violence between spouses is ok. If you have daughters, they will see that it's ok for a man to hit them and disrespect them; if you have sons, they will learn thatit's ok to treat a woman like dirt.

No one should EVER hit you. No one should forbid you from having friends. No one should constantly put you down.

You owe it to yourself and your children to leave this relationship immediately. It will be hard and scary at first, but it will be the best decision of your life.

Please also keep in mind that once you leave, you could risk your job. If it were me, I would take a class in medical transcription (something that can be done in a year) so that when I left, I would have a career option that did not involve children. sadly, statistics show that one an abused partner leaves a relationship, the chance of retaliatory violence increases in the year after. Therefore, some schools or some states will not allow you to be near children because they fear the abuser could come to the school and cause problems. there have been situations where teachers have been let go because they let it be know they were abused. not all schools are like that. assess the situation, do you think you husband would get so crazy as to come to the school? do you think you can take a class for a back up? perhaps find a coworker and ask in a round about way about what the principal/admin is like at the school. don't so it is about you!

Take your kids and get out. Do it yesterday. Do not tell him you are leaving. Go to a shelter. Tell the day care that he is not allowed to pick them up.

Child care assistance. Even teachers qualify on their income, in some states anyway. Budget cuts in social programs hits hard but you need to go to your state web site and go through the child care ink. Then see the qualifications for child care assistance. I bet you can get some of your child care paid.

It's time to be filling out applications and interviewing. Find a friend to watch the kiddos and go to get your job. Then you have until August to tell him you're leaving and have your own income.

He's a bad one. Okay? You know this deep down. Get your family to help you get away from him. Or contact a local women's shelter. They have ways to help you gain the strength to move on and be safe.