Peeing in Pants

Updated on February 04, 2008
T.P. asks from Plymouth, MA
9 answers

My daughter is almost 4 years old. She has been potty trained since the Summer and had very few accidents. She is now having more frequent "accidents". I find when she is involved in play by herself or with others, etc., or watching one of her favorite shows, she does not stop whatever she is doing and go potty. She ends up going in her pants. After we discuss the "accident" shortly later she does it again. It leads me to believe that it is more of a "power" thing since she knows mommy is not fond of it. I am sure this is common. We have already ruled out that it is not any kind of infection. Is this common? Also, I am interested in ways to remedy it.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the great posts. I am glad to see that it is pretty common. I will give it a try and see what works.

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A.F.

answers from Providence on

My daughter was also very good when it came to going to the potty, but then my husband was deployed, we started having accidents. So what I did is I bought a weekly calendar, and explained to her that everytime she makes to the bathroom and doesn't wet her pants, she gets a sticker. Everytime she "misses", she gets a frowny face. If at the end of the day her stickers outnumber her frowny faces, she gets a small reward. It started working the first day. We occassionaly have accidents, and I change the rewards to keep her motivated, but it has helped out so much.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

Do not make a big deal about it. Put her back in diapers and say because she is acting like a baby, then she needs one on. This worked when my son was 4 and did the same thing. He did not like that diaper on, one bit, but I kept him in diapers for about 3 days and it worked!

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K.U.

answers from Hartford on

We had this issue with my 4 year old son, especially when he was playing a game on the computer, watching TV, and playing in his sandbox (this past summer). So we simply implemented a rule where he has to go potty before doing these activities and it worked like a charm. Since it is the rule, we really don't put up with arguments about it - if he wants to do whatever activity he needs to go and "try". Now it is just second nature to go first and he even asks us if we've gone potty first if he sees either my DH or I on the computer :)

Best of luck!

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E.M.

answers from Boston on

My dd did the same thing, and here is how we handled it: we made her wash her soiled clothes by hand. It ended the whole thing very quickly!

Also, be sure that there isn't something physiological going on; when my dd did this, I took her for a visit to the doc to have a urinalysis done to be sure it wasn't a UTI. Then I knew it was behavioral.

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

We've had the same issue with my son (now 4 1/2) for the last year or so. I am not sure how to solve it, but it does get better over time. We still argue about whether he has to pee or not, he still waits til he is practically jumping up the walls, but the accidents are getting fewer and farther between. I think in time the social pressure from other kids not to wet gets to them.

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L.B.

answers from Barnstable on

Hi T.,
Just a thought, have you had her checked for a urinary infection?? We all know how hard it is to not pee when the sensation is there and you have a urinary infection, Kids can get 'em, so can pets. Just a thought.. oops just read that you ruled it out. sorry.
L.

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

Try to encourage the four year old to go potty more often even go as far as setting the timer for a hour or two.Make her go in and sit on the potty than she may realize she has to go more often.Also it may be time to introduce the one in a half year old to try to start using the potty also.maybe this is something she could teach the younger child.
D. D

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L.D.

answers from Boston on

We just went through this with our almost 3.5 year old. She toohas a sibling going on 18 months. I think it was an attention seeking behavior and related to having a youger sibling. We also ruled out infection. What seems to have worked, with ocassional lapses was going back to potty training fundamentals- we made a dry pants chart and she earned stickers when she stayed dry all day/night. We also made sure she got very little attention when she did it. We'd tell her to go clean herself up with baby wipes and put on cleand underwear and clothes. It sounds mean, but I think when we waqshed her up and redressed her we were rewarding the behavior by giving her attention. Good luck. All in all this did last 2 or 3 months and was very frustrating.

Our kids are pretty close to the same ages. we live in Avon, do live in theis area? We've lived here just over a year and don't know many families. We both work FT and the girls go to daycare.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

Someone else posted something similiar about pooping in the pants. From my experience with my own kids. If she pees her pants, dont be quick to change her, let her feel the discomfort of wet pants and it might make her stop. Also, even if she has a accident, or you remind her to stop and go pee in the toilet, make a point to lead her right back to exactly what she was doing before she pee'd, so she will get the understanding that, hey, I stopped to pee, now I can continue playing, watching tv, etc...etc. It might change her tune. If you think it is a control issue she has, when it happens, just tell her that is not a good thing to do, and leave it at that. The more she see's you not liking it, the more she might do it.

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