Need Advice Very Scared!!!

Updated on November 18, 2006
D.N. asks from London, OH
21 answers

first of all i am 7 1/2 months pregnant i went to my ob for a regular check up and i told her that i had a severe out break and thought that it was just an yeast infection she checked me out and told me no she thinks that it is an std herpes to be exact and i find out my results friday i called me mom and and sahe said that if i dont leave if it is positive that she wil never speak to me first of all i am going to leave but its very hard i grew up without a father i dont want my kids too!! i confronted my hubby and he was like i swear to god i havent done anything he even offered to go have a test done and my doc said this had to have happened witin the last few weeks cause that is when you show signs is 2-3 weeks afterwords but i have had break outs like this before and they were only severe yeast infections plzzzz help im sooo scared!!!

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So What Happened?

i got my results back today!!!! and come to find out its a very bad yeast infection that was left untreated for way too long and that is where she thought it might be a herpe outbreak im very relieved and so is my hubby cause he kept swearing that he didnt do anything and wouldnt be willing to rish his marriage or hurt his children i grew up without my father and went thru several divorces with my mom :)

hugssss thanks for all the replys

D.

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B.W.

answers from Canton on

I Would have him go get the test done to PROVE he dont have it as well. Then I would go from there!!

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T.G.

answers from Youngstown on

First of all, calm down. My friend just went through the same thing and they even told her it was herpes. Well, come to find out, they weren't. She had a sever case of yeast infections and due to the stress she was under it just broke out. But one mommy was right, don't jump the gun too soon. If your husband is prone to cold sores and you guys have oral sex, then that could be a serious possiblity. On the other hand, if you have explored every avenue and it turns out hubby has cheated, then you have to assess where it is you want your life to lead and if leaving him, despite the cheating, will benefit you and your family. Not from experience, but just because someone cheats, doesn't mean you have to jump the gun and leave right away. Marriage: For better or worse!! Damn that line sometimes, but honor none the less.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.

answers from Cleveland on

Calm down, wait to see what the tests show. Let your husband get tested and try to explain about viral herpes to your mother. Get some more facts from your doctor and from pamphlets. Do some research on the computer. You need to calmly talk with your husband and tell him you need his support. Good Luck

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C.B.

answers from Dayton on

I sent you a message privately!!

Just keep your head up! This may not be anything. Do you feel like your husband has or would have cheated on you? People are not educated,maybe like your mother, so it may be best to let her know the facts about herpes. It could have been in your system for a very long time.

C.

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T.F.

answers from Cleveland on

it definatly sounds like your in a tough situation, unfortunatly if you are being faithful to your man, then he is the one that brought in the problem. he has put you and your unborn child at risk and that is not fair to either of you. you do what you feel is right, your a grown woman and you make your own decisions. if your hubby says he is willing to be tested then take him up on that offer, but if it turns out that he has cheated on you, then you have a serious problem on your hands. either you can try to work this out and go to counceling or break it off. you have your children to think about. there the most important thing in your life. seems to me that your hubby wasnt thinking about them or you when he stepped out on you. i hope you get through this, but remember, take care of yourself and your kids first. o and just b/c someone tells you to leave someone, dont mean you should do it. i know cheating is unacceptable but like i said before you are a grown women and you can make up your own mind.

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S.G.

answers from Cincinnati on

I realize by now that you have probably already gotten your results, and I hope that all is well. I just wanted to let you know that twice, I went in for severe yeast infections, and twice they tested me telling me they thought I had herpes. They even prescribed the valtrex for me. Twice my tests have come back NEGATIVE. You can get a yeast infection that is sooooo bad, it looks like something even worse. I was not pregnant when I had these, and am thankful for that. Pregnancy, in a word, sucked, for me. I feel for you and wish you well.
S.

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A.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I heard that you can have herpes without showing symptoms and that you can pass them even when you don't have an outbreak. If it does come back positive, you could have gotten it from someone else you were with and just didn't know they had it. Or your husband could have had it, and still has it, way before you two were together. Don't bail out yet. You should try to work it out and listen to him. Have you ever thought that he cheated on you? If not, he probably didn't and you should work through this together. Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Youngstown on

D.,
I hope that your results say that you don't have herpes, but if you do don't automatically think that your husband gave them to you you unless he is the only man you have ever been with. Its possible that your doctors and you before just thought you were having yeast infections or that you would get yeast infections at the same time as a outbreak. Pregnancy could have just caused this outbreak to be worse if you have had it before or if you have been under some stress lately. If your husband if a loving husband and great father. Don't throw away your marriage unless you know he did cheat on you. Also genital herpes could be caused by cold sores too, with out going into tmi details if you hubby gets cold sores he could have passed it to you from those. good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and I hope your results say you don't have herpes.

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C.D.

answers from Columbus on

Hang in there. There are many differences between herpes and yeast infections. I am surprised the your doctor cant determine the difference just be your exam. Before you jusp to conclusions, take a deep breath, and do a bit of research online. If you do find out that you have it, it doesnt mean your husband chaeated. i hope for the best for you

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S.G.

answers from Youngstown on

Im glad your test were neg!!!

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K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

D.,

Congrats......glad to hear it all turned out ok........

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T.K.

answers from Dayton on

If you've had outbreaks like this before, they may have been misdiagnosed...or THIS time could have been misdiagnosed. I think you should get a second opinion and take your husband up on his offer to be tested as well. Don't jump to conclusions without proof.

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C.H.

answers from Cleveland on

Hey sweetie, I'm new to the group but I hope I can help you. First of all I'm sorry for what you are going through. And it is true that sometimes doctor's can be wrong and its wise to get a second opinion. I would wait to see if the results are positive, and if so I would demand that your husband get a test. Because its obvious thats who you got it from. No matter what he says, he may be lying. But don't be afraid. I have a friend who has herpes and she has 2 kids. What they do is, when you go into labor, they check to see if you have an active outbreak. If you don't, they might let you have a vagina birth. If you do, they will do a c-section because if it passes on to the baby, it could blind them. But wait until Friday. I remember I had an allergic reaction to some laundry soap and I was scared it might have been something serious like that but it wasn't. Good luck to you!!

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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

D.,

I am sending you a personal reply.

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L.F.

answers from Cleveland on

First off, there are different kinds of herpes. It could be oral herpes occuring on your genitals which you could have given to yourself if you have ever had a cold sore in your mouth. Secondly, is there a chance that you have had it and it has lied dormant all this time? I have heard of things coming out more severely when you are pregnant. Thirdly, if your husband DID cheat on you, that doea not mean you have to leave him. But you two need to be honest with each other and perhaps go to counseling. It's nice that your mother is trying to be supportive of you but she is really just putting you in a hard situation- choosing between her and your husband. I would scale back what you tell her. Good luck!!

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K.R.

answers from Youngstown on

I feel the same as most of the ladies here- wait to react, get your hubby tested and get a second opinion. I know someone that was married 24 years and about a year after getting divorced (having been with no one else in that time) had a herpes outbreak. It is possible that if you were with anyone else before your marriage they gave it to you. The thing about the herpes virus is that it can often lay dormant until your body is weakened for any reason (and being 7 1/2 months pregnant your body has alot to do!) and then you get an outbreak. Wait it out and see what happens- good luck!!

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

First of all stay calm. Don't let your mother or your past make your decisions for you. You know what is best for you. The first thing you should do is tell your husband you want him to get tested, make him an appointment. Then you need to get a second diagnosis from a different doctor. STD can go undetected for a long time, you said you have had outbreaks before, those could have been misdiagnosed. Doctors make mistakes be sure get the second opinion, preferrable from a woman doctor.

Hang in there, one day at a time.

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D.

answers from Cleveland on

D.

GET THE HELL OUT!!! Don't even think twice. You may have had this for awhile and never even known about it.. Your husband is a dog. I am sorry you can do more for those children single, than with a cheater. Next time do you want him to give you AIDS, then not be there for your children. I know it's easier said then done. My husband cheated and I gave him the boot!! Once a cheater alwasy a cheater!!!

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

First off, Herpes is very common. In fact, it's a virus and that is exactly what a cold sore is, so many people have it and may not even know it. Actually, my 11 yr old cousin has it and gets cold sores a lot. I wouldn't rush to judgement though since you don't even know. A yeast infection is not herpes. Herpes is like a blister. IF it is herpes, there is really no reason to think your spouse has cheated, unless there are trust issues to begin with. Also, many people don't know this, but you have to have an actual sore for it to be diagnosed. Some people may have the virus in their system, but it lays dormant. It could also be a misdiagnosis. Years ago, when I was 19, I went to planned parenthood for a check up and b.c. pills. I got a call telling me that I had herpes, yet I had never had an outbreak, only had one partner (who I know was faithful) and I had never had a cold sore. Turns out, they were wrong. I just had a baby in March and nothing ever turned up on my paps and my DR told me that it is very hard to test for because you have to actually have a sore down there for them to examine. So, even if you do have herpes, this doesn't mean your spouse has cheated, it could be as simple as a cold sore or virus that you may have spread just by washing or touching your genitals. Hope this helps.

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S.

answers from Cleveland on

So sorry for your situation. Just because you grew up without a dad doesn't mean your kids have to nor should you use it as an excuse to stay with this man. If he has definitely not messed around on you then play his game. Have him take the test to see if he has the STD. If he backs off after you want him to do the testing, you'll have your answer. I think in your heart, you will know to believe him or not. You may have had this previously and it just went undiagnosed?? Yeast infections and herpes infections have nothing to do with one another. Just be sure, don't jump the gun but if you didn't have it previously for sure then you didn't get it from a monogomous relationship either. I will be thinking about you and wish you the best.

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J.G.

answers from Canton on

FIRST OF ALL SWEETIE IGNORE YOUR MOM SHE WILL GET OVER IT. SECOND OF ALL IFF THE RESULTS COME BACK POSITVE ASK YOUR OB IF THERE IS ANY OTHER WAY THAT YOU COULD GET IT OTHER THAN SEX. IF THERE ISN'T AND YOU HAVEN'T CHEATED ON YOUR HUSBAND I WOULD LOOK TO HIM FOR THE BLAME. IT SOUNDS TO ME AS THOUGH HE TOOK THE NEWS QUITE WELL AND KNEW JUST HOW LONG IT TAKES TO SHOW UP. BEST OF LUCK, J.. IF YOU NEED A FRIEND TO TALK TO JUST WRITE ME BACK

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