Need Some More Info

Updated on April 03, 2007
D.E. asks from Midland, PA
10 answers

A friend of mine was just diagnosed with herpes. She called crying and asking questions that I truly have no answers to. How else can it spread other than sex? Can she still have unprotected sex with her hubby? She wants to have more kids... can she without passing it to the baby? Any answers would be great. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

She went to the Dr. He put her on meds for a few days and to call back if she has an outbreak again and he'll put her on meds daily. She seemed a little more relieved. Thank you to everyone for the answers and advice. Take care.

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D.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

Herpes can be spread through sex or even oral sex (cold sores are herpes simplex 1). You can spread Herpes very easily while having unprotected sex even when you are not having an outbreak. Some people have a chronic case where they break out in sore like lesions on the genitals while some have next to no outbreaks. My girlfriend has herpes but rarely has outbreaks but she spread it to her fiance at the time and he has outbreaks very often and takes Valtrex to help. If she decides to have more kids, her doctor may want to do a c section or may want to involve drugs so it does not interfere with the baby. You can also look up more info on web md.com

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think the only way she can get it if, her hubby or her were cheating and got it from someone else. and she can have more babies she just has to have c-sections now

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L.N.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I know someone who was diagnosed with it years ago, during labor with her second child. She is now having her fourth. So far, no break outs for years, and the only thing you have to worry about is if you have a break out during labor, they may have to do a C-section. Let your friend know she is among many women with this, and to try not to be so h*** o* herself. AS for the sex, my friend has not passed it on to her husband as of 12 years of unprotected sex, just careful if there is a breakout. That is about all I know. Hope this helps.

P.s. she had her first 3 vaginally. no problems.

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T.

answers from Allentown on

Tell her to go to webmd.com. Then call her doctor and set up an apointment for her yearly. Then she can get all her questions answered about what she can do to prvent the spred to her partner and about having another baby and the risks. I don't know much about this subject but these are the places I would start looking for the correct answers. Good Luck and let me know how she makes out. It will all work out for her.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D.,
So I'm a little worried about some of these responses because some of the information is incorrect. I was an STD counselor for a few years so I will tell you what I have been trained to know. It in an incurable disease; she will have it for the rest of her life. Many people confuse herpes with HPV, which certain forms of HPV causes genital warts. Genital warts and herpes are two different diseases but are easily confused by people. Herpes can be spread through vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, and occasionally through oral sex as well. Seldomly (and I mean really very seldomly), it can be transmitted if somemone is touching her vaginal area and then immediately touches his penal area. This usually only happens if she is having a breakout but in all technicality, it can happen when she is not as well. The times in which it will be easiest to give it to her husband is when she is having a breakout. Unfortunately, herpes is one of those diseases that condoms does not necessarily protect against. Even if she is having a breakout and uses a condom, if the herpe touches his skin (because herpes can break out all over the inside and outside of the vagina), then he is definitely at risk of contracting the virus. My suggestion is: definitely when she is having a breakout, refrain from any kind of sex. She can still pass it along to her husband if she is not having a breakout, but it is not as big of a risk (please don't read that much into this statement. It's still a risk and actually according to one study, they believe that it is possible that most people pass the virus when there are no symptoms). Your friend may choose to contact her physician. There is a medication called Valtrex which is really good at decreasing breakouts and possibility of transferring the disease. She can also pass it to her baby, but the risk is GREATLY decreased if she has a C-section. If you have any other questions, I'll be glad to answer them. Please, please, the best thing you can do for your friend is tell her the correct information! There is a lot of incorrect info out there and it worries me that she will not do what is necessary due to misleading info! Take care.
J.

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T.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

The last answer was pretty thoorough. I just wanted to add that she definitely got it through sex. Sexual contact is the only way you can get herpes.

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H.W.

answers from Erie on

I have herpes and have had it for some time. I can't answer all of her questions and she should definately speek to her doctor. It's very difficult when you first find out and you feel like your life is over. I cried for weeks.

She can have unprotected sex with her husband, but she will most likely give it to him, if he does not have it already. The dr. can put her on suppressive medication (Valtrex) and that will lesson the breakouts and the chance of passing it along. You can pass it along at any time, but it is more likely to pass it during an active breakout. From what I understand, women's symptoms are much more severe and most men have it an don't even know. I have been married for over 5 years and have never used a condom with my husband and he has never had any symptoms. I have 2 children one delivered vaginally and one by emergency c-section (not due to herpes). The chances of passing it on to the baby are very small, something like 2%. Her doctor would most likely put her on Valtrex sometime during her last trimester and if she has no symptoms at the time she goes into labor she can deliver vaginally, if she is symptomatic the dr. would do a c-section. There are some good resources online, but she really needs to make an appointment with her doctor and get all of her questions answered. I hope that helps a little.

H.

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J.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hello,
I don't know too much about it but I do know that either partner could have had it for years and not known about it. So those talking about cheating don't have all the facts. Of course, that is possible as well. I also know that she can have a baby and most likely not pass it along. Since you can only get it trough touching the affected area (COLD SORES people, same thing-different area), there is something they do to the baby right after it is born to prevent passage of the disease. I know this because they wanted to do all this stuff when my daughter was born. When I asked why, that is what they said, so I had to sign all of these papers to decline. One of the things is erythromiacin gel applied to the eyes right after birth. Hospitals do this to most babies anyways, so no one would know whether or not she needed it. The gel they apply to the eyes is supposed to be pretty gentle on them.
I hope that this information helps.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I thought you got it through unprotected sex. Are you sure her hubby didn't give it to her if she didn't fool around it would be him? I think to have a baby you need to have a C-Section becasue it can spread to the baby through delevery.

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S.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Did your friend have herpes with her first child? Is her first child with her husband? If she just got this disease recently, it means that she got it from her husband which may mean he is not be faithful. I would tell her to call her doctor...have her husband tested and ask them all questions. Chances are her husband already has it even if he has never had an outbreak. They can still carry it. She can have more kids...she will just have to have a c-section. This will protect the baby from getting it.
Good luck.

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