In You Opinion, What Is a Good Age Difference Between Kids?

You've got a lot of great responses, hopefully this helps too. I read that 3 years is the ideal spacing for children (and it's better to be a few months over 3 years than under). It gives the older child time to establish his/her own identity.

That being said, I have 3 girls. There is 3 years 3 months between my first two (and yes, when my first daughter was about 2-1/2 years, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I wanted another baby ... NOW!) I got pregnant with #2 right way and was on cloud nine. I was happier than I have ever been in my life when she was born. The age difference was ideal ... I was able to spend alone time with each of them because of naps and preschool. My older daughter loved being a little helper and life was wonderful. So wonderful in fact, that I got pregnant unexpectedly with #3 when #2 was only 9 months old. I hadn't even thought about having another child, so the news weighed heavy on my mind for many weeks. When baby #3 was born, I instantly fell in love, but also felt really really guilty because I was not able to spend as much time with #2, who was really still just a baby herself.

Fast forward ... baby #3 is now 16 months old and absolutely loves both her sisters. They all play together (and fight together too!) #2 however is a very difficult and sensitive child, and I know it's because she had to grow up so fast. It was, and continues to be very challenging to meet the needs of two very young children so close in age.

I really think it depends on the kind of person you are ... I think relaxed, laid back people are able to better handle multiple children close in age. For me, I know I would have done better if there were more space between my last two, however, I wouldn't trade my "baby" for the world!

I have 2 boys. They are 16 months apart. It was very very hard with a 2 year old and a new born. You can't spend as much time with the baby because the 2 year old is going to be very jealous of the newborn and will require alot more attention. In my opinion, if I could redo it I would make sure they are at least 4 years apart in age.

i have an almost 2 yr old (next month) and an 8 month old. so, they're 15 months apart. we planned it to have them under 2 yrs apart.
disadvantages: very tired after having #2 because i really didn't have time to rest like i did after #1, because i was always having to chase the older one around and keep her out of things. still tired on occasion because we're trying to coordinate nap times with them. some days it's difficult to go grocery shopping w/o hubby because one is not walking and the older doesn't listen well enough to have her walk beside me (so little room in the cart for actual groceries!), difficult time finding a sitter sometimes because both kids are still pretty needy and not so independent(sitters generally like to have the older one be able to entertain themselves to tend to the younger)
advantages: thinking ahead, they'll be close in age and (hopefully) will enjoy having a sibling close to their age to play with, we wanted to be having #3 before we're 30 so we'll definitely be able to do that; i was still nursing #1 when i got pregnant with #2 so my body was still kind of in that pregnancy/hormonal mode which made it easy to transition back to being pregnant.

sorry so long, hope that helped

My children are 4 years apart and I LOVE it. It is so much easier caring for a baby when the other one is pretty self-sufficient and better yet, can help care for the baby. As a result, I also got a lot of 1-on-1 time with my oldest and so he wasn't feeling too bad about having a baby in the house. In fact, he has embraced her like I have never seen a child do. He loves her more than I could have ever dreamed of...I am very grateful that we had them as far apart as we do.

Hope this helps.
N.

hi, my M. had 10 children, we all were 24 months apart except for two of us, where one miscarried and the other one was 11 months younger than her older brother. Wow.

I have 3 girls my oldest is 24 there is 4.5 years between her and her next sister only because of divorce. My middle daughter is 19 and her younger sister is 17. 25 months apart. They were in hs together and helped each other out in many ways.

The oldest has told me several times that she wished that Sam was closer in age to her so that they could have been closer growing up,

J.

www.noahbyjodi.com

In my opinion yes three years apart is ok. I have three wonderful daughters, my first and second are 2years 6months and my second and third are 21months apart and they get along great with one another for the most part. I have one sister and were are 6years apart and growing up we wern't close at all. good Luck with the babys to come

I haven't read the others yet but may I say this, I sat and pondered all of this and couldn't have any more children. So perhaps it isn't worth trying to control. I couldn't believe I was unable to have anymore after I already had two beautiful sons. So perhaps if your anxious to have a child then you might want to let nature decide this for you. I did an awful lot of crying after I realized there weren't going to be anymore.

Hi Shelley,
I just wanted you to know that I have 2 girls that are 2 1/2 years apart and my middle and the baby are 17 months apart, so I kinda have both ends of the spectrum. My advice is you'll just know AND that it's not wasy either way. I think there are pros and cons with each age gap so you and your hubby make the call. I was by NO MEANS prepared for #3 nor did I think that I was ready but everything happens for a reason. YES, that same feeling does happen for #2. I had it BIG TIME!
Good luck to you!
K. :~)

Personally, I grew up a middle child and each of us was 2 to 2.5 years apart. I was good friends with both siblings - we had lots in common, overlapping friends in high school, etc. We are still all great friends. So we decided we'd try and space our kids to be roughly the same - 2 to 3 years apart. I'm expecting baby #2 in 3 weeks and my son just turned 2. But really, I would have been happy getting pregnant any time within a 6-9 month window - we just happened to conceive the first go-around.

Personally, I wouldn't space much more than 3 years b/c then your kids start to not have much in common until they're adults. My M. was the oldest of 3 (also each around 2-3 yrs apart) and she said she really didn't have anything in common with her youngest sister until they were grown up. Logistically, yes you MAY have one potty trained before the next comes, or you may not. And sometimes this regresses with a new baby. I'm planning on potty training my son during the 6 months that I'll be home with him and the new baby. Ultimately, to each her own.

I initially wanted my kids around 2 years apart. But that didn't quite happen due to nature...so mine are just shy of 3 years apart. It actually has worked out really well. My daughter was just getting the hang of being potty trained when my son was born. Then I signed her up for preschool that fall, so I had a couple days a week for just my son and I to spend together. If I was to have a third I would try to keep it in that time frame (3 years). I personally wouldn't like them any further spaced out due to being friends, being close, etc.

I have two girls aged 12 and 10 - very good age gap... they always have eachother for playmates.

my second set of kids - due to divorce and then remarrying are 13 months apart. it's crazy here :) I hate the expense of diapers for two... and it gets a little busy with feeding... neither one is very self sufficient... but this is how God planned my family....

I think the most ideal age gap is 2 yrs...

Good luck planning your family. I just found myself knocked up and there was no planning :) LOL!

~J.~

Mine are all just shy of two years apart, actually 20 mo, 21 mo, and now 22 mo. They're getting farther apart :) Mine have all adapted really well to the new ones as they come and they all play together. It is tough though, I have five at home until Alex starts kindergarten this fall. But a M. is all I ever wanted to be. It's your choice.

My daughters are 21 months apart and I love it. They are great together!

I would go with your gut, like you said you are doing. But I wanted to say that there is no ideal age difference. When my older daughter was 5 I miscarried and was never able to have a biological child again. When she was 9 1/2 we adopted a beautiful baby girl who was three days old and what an age difference that was! I thought that at least I wouldn't have sibling rivalry (my older daughter prayed and prayed for the younger one to arrive) or any fighting. Boy was I wrong. They get on each other's nerves just like anybody else in a family does. It doesn't matter what ages -- everybody has their good days and bad days. I hope my girls are always close, regardless of their ages. Even though they never really "played" together, they enjoy spending time together now. Good luck with your decision!

Every family is different. If you want them chose together go for it, if you want the average of 2 years apart that is good to. I really think that it is up to you and your husband. If you want them close like my girl friend 4 under 5 years of age that is great. I have never seen a closer family than hers.

S.