When to Have a Second Kid

Updated on January 20, 2011
S.K. asks from Walled Lake, MI
18 answers

We have a 8 1/2 month old daughter. When is a good time to start trying for our second baby?

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answers from Chicago on

I had my first 2 17 mos apart, so I would say now :) It is great to have them so close in age...once they hit 1 and 2.5, it is like a built-in playmate! My neices are 22 mos apart and also play a lot together!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Mine are 26mos apart. I feel like it's a good gap. DS can help me when I need it and play by himself when I need him to.

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answers from Nashville on

my kids will be exactly 3 years apart and it makes it easier since you will only have one in diapers and not 2 and my daughter had plenty of time with just her mommy and daddy before another baby comes.

Remember give your body time to get back to normal. they say to atleast wait 2 years before getting pregnant again.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

My friend always jokes, (she has 3 under 5), that around 8 mo with your first is when babies are so cute and getting their personalities that you start thinking-I could do this again-and that's how they getcha'! :)

Honestly, we waited until our son was 15 months-got preg right away and #1 & #2 are 26 months apart. It's HARD..but I wouldn't change it. For one-I think the jealousy factor was less with him being 2...I think if we had our DD now with him being three...the jealousy would be harder. Now, she is just part of the family, the resentment was very short lived and he can't be without her, (usually).

BUT-it's what works for you-so if you are ?'ing-i did that-you prob aren't ready.

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answers from Chicago on

When you and your hubby are ready.

Mine is 10 1/2 and I'm not ready yet!!!!

Oh - I mean 10 1/2 YEARS, not months!!!!!!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Colorado Springs on

I have found that there is no one right answer. Our first 3 were naturally spaced and were about 2 years apart. Then, we have a 4 year gap. Again, the next 3 were naturally spaced, and are 2 1/2 years apart. My youngest is 4 1/2, and I have only gotten pregnant once since she was born (I miscarried on this past Thanksgiving). My children all have good relationships, they fit right into our family when they were born, they were greatly loved and doted on by all the siblings. When our last one was born, our 12 year old son took her as his own. LOL He was always holding her, loving on her, doting on her, spoiling her (she napped in his arms everyday). They are still extremely close. My #3 and #4 are extremely close at 4 years apart. And, then again, the ones closer together are very close. So, if that is your concern, it is a non-issue. We are always trying. ;) The diaper issue is not really a huge issue. It's the same amount of money either way, just when you spend it. If you use cloth, then you have one expense at one time, and that problem is solved for all the rest of your children. You're already in baby-mode, so in that sense, it is easier to just keep going.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

My kids are 4 years apart. It is perfect for us.
By then, my daughter was mature enough and I was at a point where I didn't mind having another baby... again.
My kids, even with 4 years between them, are super close like 2 peas in a pod.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

While totally up to you & your personal preference, I would stop and determine if you WANT another for sure.
O. was good with us. And I have no regrets. Just another opinion.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

yep , now!!!!!!!!!! the closer the better:)

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answers from Houston on

When you feel physically, emotionally and financially ready.

We also like to time our kids years apart, our boys are 2 years apart... but I sometimes wish they were a little closer. My sis and I are 18 months apart and that was perfect for us... our next child will be over 4 years apart from our youngest (and that makes me a little sad, wish they would have been closer). So, it just depends on what you feel like you can handle!


answers from Kalamazoo on

My kids are 25 months to the day apart. It's been a good space for us. They are close enough in age to want to do basically the same thing (now they are 6 and 8 yrs old). It was hard when they were little - taking care of a newborn and a 2yr old. I would be hesitant to go closer in age than 2 yrs apart. I can see how a bit bigger gap would be good too. IMO I would wait until she is at least 1 yr old before trying. Good Luck!


answers from St. Louis on

My kids are 2 years apart and I like that age gap. However, anything 2 years or closer means you will have more diaper / wipe cost (where as an older child may be potty trained). There are always good/bad things about age spacing. Spacing them closer together means you will get all the baby stuff done at the same time, you will go through similar things right after each other (developmental), you have all the baby stuff already, you are already super tired, etc. Good things about having them 3+ years apart is that your old child is more independent, will have time to be the 'baby' instead of the older sibling, may be potty trained, can eat/drink on his/her own, may play by themselves, watch a movie or help out with the baby. It's all what you want. I love the 2 year difference but think with our next we'll have a 5 year difference between the 1st and 3rd and 3 year difference between the 2nd and 3rd (our decision because I'd like my daughter to be close to or starting K before we have another and to have a larger house!).



answers from Harrisburg on

I've only got my daughter who will be 2 in Feb. Im not ready for another one just yet. Maybe once she's potty trained, lol.

But, it's whatever seems right for you and your hubby.
I've got three siblings. I'm 6 years younger than my older sister. And my younger two sisters are exactly 13 months apart in age. I'm sure it was hard on my mom but she also enjoyed it as well.


answers from Kansas City on

This is not something we can answer for you, it's a decision you and your so need to make together. You need to think about money (can you afford another one right now), space (house and vehicle), your body ( is it ready for another pregnancy physically and emotionally), do you want your daughter to not be the "baby" so young, will you be able to handle the stress and demands of two kids so young and close together?

That being said, I got pregnant with number two when our son was only 7 months. He is now 3 and she is 19 months and they love each other dearly, I wouldn't change it for the world.


answers from Saginaw on

I wanted mine 2 - 2 1/2 years apart. They are 2 years and 2 days apart. It was tough in the beginning, but kept getting better. They are now 5 and 3 and they are sisters. They play so well together, it just warms my heart to watch.

I am 4 years younger than my sister and 2 years younger than my brother. Growing up, I was not close with my sister at all but very close to my brother. Now that we are older, we all get along, but growing up it wasn't like that.

This is just my experience, no one can tell you what the perfect age is. Everyone has their own experiences and ideas of what they think is best.



answers from New York on

You can try when you feel ready to have another. Hubby and I have been trying for over a year now and still nothing. The thing is it really is in God's hands and not just a product of our body functions only. Wishing the best for you and your family. FYI - my sister have 12 and 1 on the way. Most are stair steps with like 13 months between them.



answers from Detroit on

There are advantages either way. Kids close in age are easier to raise as they get older because they are interested in the same things. My mom had 3 kids in 3.5 years, I was the middle child, my sister was 21 months older and my brother 19 months younger. However, i can't imagine how she dealt with so many little ones at the same time. :) She said it was a breeze, we were fairly easy babies.

I originally planned to have mine 2 years apart, but knowing we'd be moving around that time I waited longer, as I'd rather be moving pregnant then with a newborn. The spacing ended up being 2.5 years apart, which was good for us. I was able to have my oldest potty trained months before the baby was born, and though she did regress initially attention seeking, she quickly got over that.

Some people like to have 3+ years in between their kids, but though it might be easier initially it can drag out the baby years for a lot longer. Also you need to consider how many kids you want and when you got started. The older you are the higher the risk during pregnancy.

Another thing to consider is what type of birth control you were on in between. Hormonal birth control can take a few months to get out of your system. It took me about 7 months to conceive my first child, but in between we didn't use hormonal birth control and so the second one came in 1 month of trying. Not everyone's body is as sensitive to hormones, either. I'd suggest you start trying 9 months before the SOONEST you'd be ready for the second child, and then if it takes a little longer no big deal. I know several people who thought it would take a few months so started early and oops, conceived sooner then they were planning. One of my friends had to wean her oldest sooner then she'd like due to severe bleeding during the first trimester. Not all mom's have to wean when pregnant, but it can be a common complication.

Best wishes!


answers from Los Angeles on

There are advantages and disadvantages to having children close together. If you wait,you will will have more special one on one time with your first born. and you will have more special mommy time with your second born if your first is closer to three when you have her. If you try soon, your children will be great palls, but your live will be really stressful and busy. The there is your age to consider and how long do you dare wait, especially if you want more than two. To be honest, I think people over think this question. I wanted them close together (mostly because of my age), but instead had two miscarriages in between and they ended up being three years apart. Its good to think about this, but don't over think it.

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