Ideas for Couples

Updated on March 19, 2008
C.Z. asks from Elizabeth, NJ
6 answers

Hi everyone! I recently wrote about a problem in my marriage and want to say THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to respond. I know it will take some time but I want to start working at it. I think if we do things together and feel like a team and enjoy ourselves, the sex part will come. Any ideas on things my husband and I could do together? I suggested a dance class which I would just LOVE but he doesn't want that. I would love as many suggestions as possible! Thanks!!

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J.W.

answers from New York on

Hi Cally,

It is always nice to get out and do something as a couple but I find that the day to day things are much more important in getting that intimacy back in your marriage. I think it's very important to "hang out" with each other every night instead of going your own way. For a period of time my husband and I fell into a routine of putting the kids to bed then doing our own thing. He would go on the computer and I would watch TV or read. During that time we grew pretty distant and lack of intimacy was becoming a problem. We decided that instead of going our seperate ways after the kids were in bed, we would use that time to spend with each other. We have a glass of wine and sit outside on the front porch swing(if it's nice) or sit in the hot tub (even when it's snowing). We have a little game room set up in our basement and sometimes we will go down there and play pool or darts. If our favorite TV show is on we will sit on the couch and watch it but we will sit next to each other and he'll rub my feet or I'll sit on the floor in front of him and he'll rub my shoulders. What a huge differance that made in our marriage. It's what we used to do before we had kids but we lost it somehow once they were born.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.T.

answers from New York on

Cally
Men will always opt for something sporty, so give these a try one night a week (after you do what he wants, then you can throw a request for a Salsa class)....bowling, pool..play for sexual favors or money(I usually play for quarters for the wash :), a gym for a good work out, a power walk or just a walk....hold hands like teenagers and catch up on your day.
My husband was in the restaurant business for a very long time and he enjoys going to different restaurants, give that a try...a new restaurant every week. A little wining and dining and he just might get lucky right ;). Good Luck and remember, be open to what he wants to do at first.

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V.C.

answers from New York on

Cally, What about wine tasting? or a message therapy class (they have night classes on the local community colleges)? Going to Antique fairs is a great together thing to do if either of you are into that? Join a gym together and work out side by side? Hope I was able to give you some idea's!
good luck! :)

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K.C.

answers from New York on

Cally,

My husband and I are so busy that we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like so I've been trying to think of things to do together too. What do you think about a karate/self defense class. You could have fun while doing something good for your body. I suggested to my husband and he thought it was a great idea. This might sound silly but we also like to go to the big outlets a couple of times a year. We push the baby in the stroller and really just spend the day together. In the past we have also had spa dates where we do a couples massage at a local spa (doesn't have to be fancy). Think of things you did on your honeymoon or would like to have done and find something similar that's local. Going out for a bike ride on a local county park trail is nice too....maybe a picnic with a little wine would be nice.

Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.W.

answers from Glens Falls on

hi, maybe you could try doing something your both interested in thats a good start. or try something he likes than maybe he,ll come around and try something you like. even though you might not like it or your not into it it shows you care and your trying to spend time with them ..

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C.H.

answers from New York on

Have you asked him what he might want to do? a dance class could be hard to get any man too.... Maybe the simple things ..like having dinner as a family .. or a movie/date night.

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