How to Deal with Disrespecful Children

I know it sounds rash, but take away ALL privileges. If they have cell phones take them away. If they are used to hanging out wtih friends put a stop to it. If they have a tv in their room take it out. If they have toys take them away and replace them with books. Again, I know it sounds rash, but it worked for my 7 year old ADHD child that was misbehaving in school and being extrememly disrespectful to me and the teacher. I boxed up EVERYTHING he has except two stuffed animals and his books. You wouldn't believe the change in him overnight. I let him earn his toys back slowly. One day of good behavior and I let him play his gameboy for 20 minutes before bed. One week of good behavior and I let him have one toy back to keep. If he went back to bad behavior for just one day I would warn him that the next bad I would take away the toy he already earned back. On the other hand if he has a whole month of good behavior (I give him one day a week as leeway) then he can have back several toys. He has lost toys he had already earned back and he hates that. This also means no more buying toys when we go to the store. I am not going to replace his toys that were taken away with new toys. Plus by the time he earns a toy back he has has missed it and ends up actually playing with it instead of just leaving it laying around. TYR IT!!! IT HAS WORKED for me so far and I highly recommend it. Spanking doesn't work. Once a child realizes he can live through a spanking he will do what he wants when he wants.

I wish you luck, I do not envy you having to care for 5 children and having two of them treat you so poorly.

R.

You had better put your foot down. They are being disruptive and a bad influence on your children. You haven't mentioned their mother. What stance does she take on all this? If she encourages their behavior, there may be nothing you can do about it. You may have to tell your husband that if they continue to disrespect you and your home, that they will have to stay home. It is not fair that he puts it all on you. However it could also work to your advantage, if the mother is good about it, and she doesn't condone their rotten behavior, maybe you could work with her to get them to behave. The problem is, when a child comes to your home for just the weekend, they can leave and they don't have to deal with you anymore, if they make you mad. They need to have some consequenses when they behave like this. You and their mom, need to make punishments for them, and stick to them, when they are behaving badly. They need to loose some things that they care about for a period of time after they misbehave.

Well, the first thing that pops to mind is, are you respecting them? Maybe the first place to start is to have a heart-to-heart with them, maybe a girls' day out kinda thing, and really talk about what they're going through and how all these changes and upheaval in their lives are affecting them. Let them know that you want everyone in the house to be happy and it's important that everyone respect each other for that to happen. And let them know that you're there for them if they have concerns. A lot of times acting out like that is because they have something bottled up inside and don't feel like they have anyone to talk to about it.

hello, im a step mom to 3 kids also. your husband has to back you up 100% on anything that you do with the kids. the twins need to learn to respect others and their property just like eveyone else in the house. maybe for what they do wrong, they should have something takin away, maybe like a game that they like to play or a fav toy that they have. just until they learn to respect people an their things. i left a message on here almost like yours and i got alot of good advice from other moms on here. good luck :-)