"How Are Babies Made?"

I think that you can explain how babies are made terms that a 4 yr old can understand. I haven't read any books on the subject to my kids, but when they asked I told them that first they have to be MARRIED to have babies. In my opinion, drilling that into their little heads early on is so important. In today's world there are too many young people who are way too casual about sex, and just give their bodies to the next "hook up" and don't think of the consequences. I haven't had to explain in detail what happens yet, but both of my kids know that mommy and daddy created them and that they had to stay in mommy's tummy until they were ready to be born. It's all about explaining it in terms they can understand. Pictures are helpful. Both of my kids have seen pictures of when I was pregnant with them, and they know that they were in my tummy then. They have also seen pictures of when they were born (the ones when they were being weighed). I have a 6 yr old boy and a 4 yr old girl, and when they ask a question, I just give them enough info to satisfy their curiosity. I don't think they need the whole "story" all at once. But, contrary to what others have said, with the way our young people view sex, it is not too early to start telling your kids about sex. Here in Idaho, a few months back, a 9 yr old girl gave birth. Not that she was a willing participant in having sex, but her little 9 yr old body was capable of bearing a child. So I think that the earlier you explain that sex is one way a HUSBAND and WIFE show each other that they love each other, the better chance you have that your kids will make good decisions in that department as they get older. You will definitely have several opportunities over the years to teach your children the consequences of sex before marriage, and will be able to instill your values. It's better to talk about than not.

Heidi Murkoff (author of What to expect when you are expecting" books) wrote "What to expect when Mommy's having a baby" that was useful.

My friend just posted about this on her blog. Her son is a bit older, but I think it's still age appropriate for your son:

For the last couple of years, Matt has been asking "where do babies come from?" and more to the point "how are babies made?". Trying to keep it age appropriate (and still give him the correct facts of life), I would begin my explanation with "when a man and woman get married, they decide if they want babies..."

Well, little did I know how closely he was paying attention to my introductions! Twice now he has proven what a good listener he is:

First time was when DH and I told him that we were going to have another baby.

Matt: But you can't have another baby!
Me: Why not?
Matt: Because you and Dad didn't get married again to have another baby.

Apparently, I forgot to explain to him that parents only need to say "I do" once before having mulitple babies. He thought you had to marry before each pregnancy.

The second time was just last week when we were talking about our trip next summer to Hawaii for SIL's wedding.

Me: Matt, why are we going to Hawaii?
Matt: To go to a wedding.
Me: What does "wedding" mean? What happens at a wedding?
I was thinking he would say something like "to get married"....but instead...
Matt: So they can have babies

I think that's all kids need to know at this age. They don't need to know about any anatomy or anything.
When my son asks (he's 4 1/2), I plan to tell him that when two grown ups get married, the are starting a family. Later, a baby starts to grow in the mommy's tummy and she goes to the hospital when the baby's ready to come out. He's seen pictures of our wedding and he remembers my big tummy and going to the hospital to get his baby brother out. Frankly, I'm not sure he'll ask, because he seems to have it all figured out. The other day he told me that he was going to do something or other when he was someone's daddy. I think that was sparked by Meet the Robinsons, a Disney movie where a kid travels through time to get his dad (then 12 or so years old) to fix the time machine that he invented in the future. So the dad and the kid were kids at the same time. I think that helped him figure out generations and all of that, but without even touching the subject of sex!

My oldest two children didn't start asking questions until they were around 7. However, my youngest son started asking questions when he was 5. I used "Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mayle. As they got older, they also liked "What's Happening to Me?" also by Peter Mayle. I highly recommend "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris for older children as well.

I have found that giving my children information has only benefited them. I know I grew up in a time when people just didn't talk about this information and I have always seen that as coming from the fear that information leads to bad things. We now know that that is false. Information is what empowers our children to make informed choices. My children were hearing stuff in school from a very young age and they have always been comfortable coming home and asking me what things meant because they knew I would answer them openly, clearly, and directly. This also allowed them to have the correct information.

My children are now 12,14, and 16 and they are extremely comfortable talking to me. My daughter, 16, says she definately appreciates that we have always been open about sex, made it a normal thing in life, and feels she can make better decisions because she has full information.

One more book I highly recommend is "A very Touching Book" by Jan Hindman. I read this to my children as soon as they were able to understand. This book defines good touch-hugs, bad touch-being hit, and secret touch. This book helps open up communication lines so that if your child is ever touched inappropriately they can have some understanding and hopefully talk about it.

I have a book that was passed down to me from my mom, so I'm not sure how easy it would be to find... It's called Where Do Babies Come From? A Book For Children and Their Parents by Margaret Sheffield. It has some beautiful illustrations and does really well at explaining everything. The pictures are, well, a little graphic (I don't know how else to put it) but not in a bad way. Just naked bodies and such.... Hope that helps and hope you can find it!

I feel that 4 is a little too young to be divulging sex to. I believe it can causetoo many other problems. I see nothing wrong with telling her that they grow/are made inside you. If you believe in God, say he puts them there, becasue ina sense he does. You can even get books that are for kids and have picts of the baby growing in the different phases. My mom did that for my sister and she was very satisfied. I don't think that a child that young needs to know more than that. It is a maturity thing. Children should know what is needed for thier age and maturity.

Four is still a little young in my opinion for a full on sex talk. I would talk to your Pediatrician as I am sure they get this question a lot. I am very pro being honest with kids, but not sure at what level it is good to divulge too much to a child at 4. I will be interested to see what responses for suggestions you get on here for books. My daughter is 7 and son is 4 so we haven't gotten there just yet. I have to have this talk with my daughter even if she doesn't ask me soon as I don't want her picking up wrong info from school! :)
Good luck.