Help! My 2 1/2 Yr Old Is Getting Very Rude.

This might be worth a try:

When you and he are both in a good mood/good space, practice the nice behavior you want. Practice meeting people. Do it ten times in a row, then celebrate somehow (a favorite treat, going to the playground...whatever is a treat for him).

Then in another "good mood time" practice how to behave when he doesn't get what he wants, or if Mommy has to say no, etc. Again, go through it ten times, then celebrate.

You can also practice what to do if an adult makes him uncomfortable! A very important skill and information set for him to have.

I think he will enjoy the attention, plus he will have been taught what you expect. I heard a little boy about three whisper to his mother in the grocery store "I'm going to ask you at home why you won't let me have it." I thought to myself that they must have practiced "grocery store behavior".

He's only 2 and he's being a normal typical 2 year old. That doesn't mean you can't teach him manners and better behavior, but he really is not going to be fully capable of it right now. This age is all about asserting their independence and saying no and insisting on what they want, just because they can. This is only the beginning! I would just keep reinforcing how we talk to people, and remind him to use words like please and thank you. Model polite behavior yourself. Don't take it the wrong way when people say he's being mean, even if they are just teasing. He would be mean and rude if he was acting this way at 5, but at 2, not so much. My daughter could be the same way at that age and now she's getting closer to 4, she's fine with other people but with us, I have to remind her over and over how she needs to talk. Now if she asks for something in a demanding or whiny tone, I tell her I can't understand that voice, and ask her if she has forgotten her manners. Then she'll usually say "please!" but I make her try again using a full sentence, as in, "Please, would you get me more juice?". I don't know if at 2.5 your son will understand that much yet but you can still model it for him and keep telling him this is how we talk to each other, this is how we ask for things, etc. He also could be feeling shy and overwhelmed if these are people he does not see very often and again, saying no is his way of gaining from control over the situation. When my daughter did this at that age, I would mostly ignore it, and figure she would come around in her own time. She is now one of the friendliest, most sociable kids you will ever meet - she has no reservations about talking to anybody!

As a nanny of 15yrs and a mother to a 3yr...there is NO such thing as terrible 2s. Children at this stage in life are finding themselves. Learning their personalities, testing their boundaries and finding their voice.

Allow them to do so. Along the way, teach them the proper way to speak to an adult or other children. Teach them hitting isn't appropriate, as well as kicking, biting or pinching. This is a stage in their development. Its our responsibility as a parent to guide them along the right path, in hopes our efforts continue on til their older (i.e. manners, respect, no hitting, etc).

My son was the most polite and respectful 2yr old. Everyone use to praise him and comment on it. In January 2012 he was enrolled in school. He has become a very rude kid and lost most of his manners. They learn by example. Therefore I have to be on him that much harder in reminding him of his manners and how to treat others.

What I do with my son when he acts out, gets rude to his grandparents or his uncle, I correct his behavior and tell him that is not acceptable and he is being rude. Tell him the best way to act is to say hi, be polite and talk nicely. If he comes off rude, I say "its that how we ask, or is that how we say that?" Then I will ask him to repeat what he said in a polite respectful manner. Then praise him for his attempt and explain to him that is a much better attitude and response. That makes mommy happy!

Your sons behavior is typical for this age and its part of his development for this stage in his life. Be patient and guide him to be a polite and respectful kid. With hard work and persistance, he will be that polite child again. My son is starting to come around again. But remember, EVERYONE needs to jump on board and aide you in correcting his behavior. They know who they can push the buttons harder then others, the little stinkers.

Good luck and give him lots of loves!

That's why they call it the "Terrible Twos". You have to let him know his behavior is unacceptable. Maybe even a swat or two if it persists. If you don't control it now, the "terrible Twos" could become the "Terrible tens" or "Terrible Teens". The parents are responsible for teaching the children manners and what behavior is acceptable and what is not. The longer you let it go the harder it will be to correct.

Good luck to you and yours.

I agree with others that it is typical, they are learning their voice and independence. It's best to teach them by example and correct their behavior. That means more than just saying "no". You must show them what the "correct behavior" is. Many parents just say no and don't follow through with what they are supposed to do--if you don't, how are they going to learn!! As for the parent that said to give them a swat--I wouldn't recommend that, all that teaches is to match you with hitting back and then you are going to be left with an aggression. Remember if you give a consequence, think about what you are teaching them, what do you want them to get out of that consequence. It is a stage and things will get better. Also remember that he is small and grown-ups are bigger, so it's not the easiest thing for a little kid to feel comfortable talking to an adult either. Just keep modelling and correcting and he'll get it. Don't get too angry or make excuses for him. If someone tells him he is mean, especially and adult, i wouldn't stand for that ( that adult is immature) and I would say something, like "He is very independent, or he isn't very comfortable right now." If your child keeps hearing a negative statement about himself (even very young) he is going to adopt this feeling as true and that's not helpful either!

The good new is....it will pass. Just stick to your guns on the correction of being rude, but unfortunetly your little guy is now developing an opinion. My husband and I can laugh now because our daughters are older now but when kids reach the 2's to 3's they want what they want and they want it now! No one in their world is more important than themselves. Like my husband used to say "you cant negotiate with a terriorist". My girls were amazing before and amazing after....they just tried me in the "stage".

Good luck,
DH

He's only 2. Saying "no" to people or not looking at them is not rude at that age. They are adults, they shouldn't be telling him he's mean.

You have great advice so far. And yes, it is hard to hear when someone says something negative to or about our children. If it is the truth, then agree with them and just add a quick, "We are working on that." No need to give a long explanation, but you get the opportunity to tell them that you are not letting it go. They were probably just trying to help by pointing out to your son a negative consequence of his behavior. When your son sees that you are agreeing with them, he will see that it is not good behavior.

I applaud you for dealing with it EVERY time, even if it is in succession. I like the suggestions of demonstrating what the proper behavior is. Then praising him for being such a big boy. Even let him hear you bragging about his good behavior to his daddy. That positive reinforcement will help.

Just remember that there is no magic formula for kids to act perfectly. It is a life long process. Keep setting the boundaries as your son wants to know where the boundaries are and what you are going to do when he steps over them. It will pay off!

He's a toddler, and he really doesn't have any concept of rudeness. Of course, you can encourage polite behavior...but I think it's best to focus it on you and your husband, because he's comfortable with you.

My oldest daughter, who is just the sweetest and most polite thing, was very shy around that age with strangers (or people she didn't see regularly) and wouldn't say hi, or thank you if they gave her something. It drove me nuts! I would stand there and try to make her say thank you, and she would just start crying. I think it's just discomfort on a toddler's part, and you really can't force it at such a young age.

Of course, you don't have to encourage him yelling "NO", either...just calmly deal with that separately. But I wouldn't punish him for the behavior with strangers...I think, especially with bright little children, that this is completely normal at that age.

My daughter is 3.

For the first offense, she gets put in time out. She has to sit indian style up against the wall with her hands in her lap for 3 minutes.

If she repeats the same action soon after the time out instead of another time out, she gets a spanking which is a little swat on the back of her leg.

If she does something different soon after the time out, she gets a time out for that action.

I know some people have their own feelings about spanking but this seems to work for her. Most of the time it does not warrant a spanking but there are always those exceptions especially in public. Alot of times I tell her while we are in public that if she continues there will be no time out, she will just get a spanking. Most of the time she quits.

Here's some info on the topic and the link that follows has more details:

http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/02/22/...

Positive discipline teaches children rules and behaviors in a respectful, loving and considerate way. It requires thought, planning and patience from parents and caretakers, such as:

“No, don’t run inside!” becomes, “What happened to our walking feet? Where do we use our running feet?” or “We will go outside soon and you can show me how fast you can run.”
“No, don’t throw the blocks!” becomes, “When did our blocks grow wings?” or “Let’s try building a castle and see what happens!”

mine went through a "shy" phase around this age, it might be that they aren't capable of processing, "this is someone i am not comfortable with and i don't like it". model good/polite behavior, and continue to teach him the correct way to address people. and absolutely do not give in to him when he starts being demanding- tell him that he does not ask like that, he asks nicely or he doesn't get anything (when you can answer yes). if you have to say no, you got it - be firm and time outs for acting out. period. you are doing fine - he's just 2!

Children at this age can and will get quite testy. Sometimes if you ignore the situation he will realize he is not getting your attention. Try this at home but not around company. Its' obvious that this time out isn't working and believe me they do NOT like it when being ignored. He is getting your attention, it doesn't matter in which way. Do the ignoring for abt. a wk. and see what happens. If it continues' and he has a favorite toy, take it away for a few days. Dont' make it long because even though you are doing the time out, once hes' in his room or another, they forget why they are where they are. Pls. remember he is still very young and their little minds just cant' comprehend after a short period. When they are ignored, whether they scream, kick, fight, just say to him "I am not listening to you until you behave" he is looking for undivided attention thats it thats all. Children do know that they are getting your goat, so to speak so just let on you are not hearing him. I'm absolutely sure of this. Give it a try but be sure to tell him why you are not doing to do anything unless of course he quits what he is doing. He is a normal little boy, there is nothing wrong with him. Take care Mommie and Daddy, it will all work out!!

It's terrible twos babe, my daughter is 2 1/2 and is doing the exact thing. I bought board books like time to listen, hands are not for hitting, etc. b/c she enjoys reading and it's sinking in. Plus I read loving without spoiling... I have the tendency to give her what I didn't have and end up spoiling her. That book has really helped me with positive discipline and realizing sometimes that I didn't follow through.