HELP! 3 1/2 Year Old Still Pooping in Her Pants!

My 3 year old boy is the same way. I've backed off and now he is telling me he pooped. Next step is telling me before he does it and getting to the potty. Before I backed off he would run and hide. Now he tells me and we are so close to the next step. Don't make a big deal about it, back off and remind her to tell you. If you give her some space on this issue I bet she starts telling you when she has to go and will go on the potty. If you push her on it all the time the opposite will happen. Good luck

Our daughter was dry and out of diapers at two. Her preschool required it. But she continued to ask for a diaper to poo in until she was about 3.5 yo - always holding her stool at school and only having bm's at home.

We were just patient and waited until she felt the pull to be a 'big girl'. One day she came up to me and said she wanted to throw all her diapers away. We did - very ceremoniously and with much tears from mama - and she was completely continent from that point on, with literally never even a single accident.

Can you pick up on her cues and intercept her before she soils herself? I don't know if she'd transition to accepting a diaper to poo in. Obviously the clean up is a thousand fold easier. It sounds as though she's just not quite ready for full continence yet. It's pretty common that kids lag with stool when they've already conquered urine.

Dear J.,

I would first suggest that you let her know you understand she is not ready for "big girl undies". If she has cute cloth undies, put them all away. Pull-ups and diapers go back on.

First thing in the morning, she is put on the toilet or potty-chair for 5 minutes. (Get a timer).

After each meal and before bedtime, same routine.... 5 minutes on toilet or potty-chair.

By doing this, you will help her become "regular" and you will also (if you don't already know), find out when she usually has a bowel movement.

I also like the idea of a chart (in the bathroom),with stickers or stars when she stays dry and "poop free". I don't like the idea of a toy or gift for doing something that all human beings need to do.

Blessings....

You could just keep her in diapers longer...

J.,
The thing that works the best is to have a special little friend from preschool, church or relative come for a visit. They should come over often. It should be someone your daughter really loves or wants to be around who has conquered pooping in the toilet. Some kids learn best by watching (visual learner). As they spend time together, your daughter will pick up cues from her friend (and maybe tag along with her buddy to the bathroom) and perhaps give the toilet a try again. This sort of passive instruction method worked with my kids in a number of different situations where I wanted them to "get" a concept but they just weren't listening to me anymore. Obviously, putting her back in diapers (even just for poop) is a much easier thing for you. Try telling her kindly and matter-of-factly that the diapers are going to return if she doesn't give the toilet a try. Another thing I did for one child was to hang little rewards like stickers, tiny toys, all kinds of cute things preschoolers love from a clothes line hung way up high on the bathroom wall where they can see them when they're peeing (and when they're trying to poop). They get to choose one if they're successful or try to poop.
Maybe one of these methods will do the trick for your little one.
L.

Is it solid or runny? If its runny she could be blocked up and the stuff that you see is leakage. Thats what happened to my son. The pediatrician took an xray and his bowels were completely blocked from holding his bm. She gave him miralax to clear his bowels. Maybe you should ask your pediatrician.

My first, now 14 yo, was scared to poop in the potty for months after he was ptty trained. He hated messing up his character undies though and I told him that he should ask me for a diaper when he felt the need to go. Next I began asking him to stay in the bathroom to go and explained that going potty is private and the bathroom is where we go potty. we would change his diaper in the hall outside the bathroom (it was tiny) and dump the poo poo in the toilet then he could flush it and tell it bye bye. I kept reinforcing that if he just sat on the potty to go, he wouldn't have to spend the extra time putting the diaper on and getting cleaned up afterwards and that the poo poo wouldn't get on him any more. Eventually he decided if he was stuck in the abthroom anyway, he may as well use the potty. Caution...do NOT use Pullups, go back to diapers as they are associated with babies, not big kids. Good luck!

Three and a half year olds are very capable people. Learning all the time. Cleaning up after herself will have your daughter realizing that using the toilet is much easier than having to wash up after pooping in her panties. Yes, it will be messy and she may not do a very good job of cleaning at first, but she will learn the consequences of her actions! Wiping and washing are all a part of potty training.

I think they are afraid the poop will get them so on the toilet or in the pants have her put it in the toilet say bye poop and flush it. When she does go in her pants after she drops in the toilet put her at the sink with some soap and make her wash the panties out then you can put them in the wash after. Have her dip them up and down in the potty first before going to the sink. I also had put by kids on the toilet backwards then they could see it in the potty when they went. If you notice her going at certain times of the day take her at those times. Consistanency is the key. She will scream and cry but so what. My iece is 6 and still going in her pants bc my sister wont stay consistant. She has been kicked out of kindergarten by 11 everyday and it is an allday kindergarten. She is and will not be ready for 1st grade. Breaks my heart.

If it continues and it becomes a problem you might want to look into "Encompresis." It is a form of upper constipation where the child cannot hold the stool long enough to get to the potty when the urge happens.

http://www.mamasource.com/request/6389651840929103873

This is a link to another woman's request and responses just a week or so ago about the same issue. I feel your pain (you'll see mine among her responses), and wish you all the best in weathering this situation!

My oldest daughter did the same thing. She would do #1 fine then go into the closet, put on a pullup, and poop. I just let her do it and later talked to her about it. With a little coaching and, initially, being with her when she pooped on the toilet was all she needed. She left the pullups behind rather quickly.