Disipline Problems

M. ~ You've gotten some great advice so far, but as the mother of my own "active" 3 year old, I thought I'd put in my two cents!
We originally had to put locks on our older two children's rooms to keep him out while they're in school, but - now - we've been able to implement some methods that have successfully reduced our son's destruction.
First ~ our son plays w/playdough daily (he prefers the homemade - recipes online) ... having something to sculpt & squash & resculpt seems to calm him.
Second ~ we try to let him play w/bubbles when it's pretty outside ... he uses his legs to run after the bubbles, his lips to blow the bubbles & his hands to pop the bubbles.
Third ~ we threw out all of the toys he's broken or books he's ripped ... that way, he (A) sees there are consequences for his destruction & (B) has fewer toys in his room to avoid overstimulation.
Fourth ~ we provided him w/toys with which he can build & destroy repeatedly ... he loves building towers w/his legos & knocking them down ... & he enjoys playing w/his magnetix (he can put them together & flip them so the magnets repel)
Fifth ~ whenever I bake cookies or biscuits or pizza dough, I let him help me. He loves kneading the dough w/his hands & thrives on the one-on-one time w/Mommy.
Sixth ~ my husband has him "help" w/chores around the house ... handing him tools, holding the tape measure, etc ... he feels so "big" & enjoys time w/Daddy.
Seventh ~ he enjoys fingerpainting ... we use the Crayola Magic that doesn't stain anything ... can be costly, but for us has been worth it!
Eighth ~ child scissors ... he LOVES cutting up old magazines, old coloring books, etc ... I keep them put up & he has to ask first, but cutting the stuff seems to alleviate his need to destroy AND it's good for hand-eye coordination!
These are a few of the things we've tried successfully.
The key is to provide him w/plenty to do to keep his HANDS busy. His destruction may be boredom, a cry for attention or frustration from overstimulation of too many toys in his room ... it's just up to you to observe your child & decide what's really going on!
BEST OF LUCK!!! Once you find what he enjoys, he'll be like a different little boy!

I'm sorry, this must be so frustrating to you. My son is about to turn two and he is also the curious destroyer. I agree with the others, he is old enough to understand consequences. No new toys to replace destroyed toys. He will have birthdays and holidays to get new stuff. I know a lady who photographs each destroyed toy so that when her son asks for another she can just show him what he did to the last one, reinforcing WHY he isn't getting another.
as for the food thing......I would totally buy paper or plastic plates for that young man. I'm sure it's a phase but what a mess. Sad to say but I'd probably bribe him with dessert to keep him from throwing the plate (since he is a good eater anyway)
I've gotta ask........when do you sleep? 3rd shift is hard and then at home with the kids....I don't think I could do it. Is he destroying things to get attention? The window and air duct seem to be cries for attention more than a need to understand what's going on. Maybe you should consider like a half day of preschool for him. He might be more bored at home than you think.
Good Luck!

My son use to do the same thing when he was that age so this is what I did. If he is throwing his food or dishes take them away from him.. Put his food on the table, high chair....etc and make him eat it that way. Yes it is a little messy but at least your dishes will be safe. I did this for about a month and he stopped doing it. As for breaking things for everything that he breaks take something away from him and put it away somewhere that he can't get to it. And once he starts showing improvement you can give him one thing back at a time. Start with the things that are his favorite. It works, now this is something that took me awhile to do cause I was very protective over my son. Let him go outside wheather it is raining or what not. He could be very bored and needs to explore things. That is all about being a boy. Boys need to be outside no matter what their age is. Just be sure to keep a close on him and be there if something should happen. I wish you the best of luck:)

I agree that it would be a great idea to give him things to destroy. I like that a lot. Do you think that it might be he wants to see what is "in it"? My son has always been facinated with the way things work. He is only 4 and if he gets him hands on a screwdriver, his father is going to spend hours putting things back together again. He has taken countless doorknobs off the doors, ect...We somewhat fixed this problem by giving him things to take apart. He loves clocks that he can take apart, old flashlights, anything at all that he can take apart and see what is inside. This might be something for you to think about. And I also agree with the running in the back yard thing. I know that has to be tough while working 3rd shift, but I would think it would be better than spending your paycheck replacing things that he has broken. And yes, I also agree with the paper plate. My son would have paper everything before I let him break all of my dishes, haha. And it's a good idea not to replace or even try to repair the toys. If they are salvagable, put them away until his behavior improves. If he destroys all of his toys and has nothing to play with, he might think twice. I also would not buy him new toys. I would tell him that you weren't going to buy anything until he stops breaking things.

Make sure you are firm and that he knows what he did is not acceptable. Do not by new toys. If he breaks them you do not get new ones. Super Nanny always says if you only have a few things you will take care of them. There should always be a negative consquence for a negative action.
Kids often do things in exploration. When he throws a plate it breaks. Something has happened. He sees a response. The same with taking things apart. He is seeing how things work. Good Luck.

Have you ever heard of 1-2-3 Magic - it is a disipline "plan" and is amazing! i thought i was doing the 1-2-3 but when i got the books/dvd's i realized i wasn't doing it right and since then - OMG what a difference! You may want to check into it!

It would be helpful if you would add to your description if he destroys things as if to figit or destroys things in anger.

Give him things to destroy- let him rip up old magazines or newspapers- if he is angry, direct him to these things to give him an outlet... if he is figiting for something to destroy- direct him to these things.
Don't replace the toys- make him earn them back- but not before he "earns" back the replacement for family home property he ripped up.

He may just need more active play... running outside. See if you can get him doing relay races in the backyard- moving rocks or a ball from one end of the yard to the other... get a timer out and see if he can beat his own times.
If you want to incorporate reading or letters, numbers... make cards and put them on the ground or put them on a fence and across the other vertical surface of the house... make him run to the "A" or have him run back to a "P" or number "3."
See if you can get him to walk with his hands, hold his ankles and see how far or fast he can walk on his palms. This exercises the joints, gives them the pressure they need and may alleviate some of this destructive urging.

Are there any foods or situations where he seems to do destructive things more than other times?

Edited to add: forgot about make your own playdough... he may enjoy whacking at it and ripping it apart... just find a recipie online- the cooked kind lasts the longest and feels the best.

As for the eating and throwing the plate- he can use a paper plate if you are not able to sit right next to him during meals and anticipate and then prevent him from tossing the plate. When our son was first starting out with food we would hold the plate down and if needed remove his hand from the plate and hold it down and keep repeating that the plate stays on the table. It is all in the preventing. Prevent his hand from whacking it off to the floor. He is old enough to clean up the mess that ensues- that also may be a deterrent. We would only give my son the amount of food I was willing to clean up off the floor- so instead of 20 grape halves... he would get 3.. when he ate those he got more. If he does better with the food being parceled out, increase the amount of food until he realizes that his world gets better when he acts better.