Total Forgetfulness

Updated on August 13, 2010
E.G. asks from San Diego, CA
26 answers

So I have a question for all you great mommas our there...
How long does "baby brain" last? You know, the lapses in memory where you completely forget things you are supposed to do.
My daughter just turned two, so I'm thinking I should be over these brain farts, but this past week I have forgotten my DD's 2 year check-up appointment, picking up eggs at the store (I only had to get 5 things), and completely missed my HOA board meeting (and I'm on the board).
I have tried Calendars, and reminder Apps on my I-phone... I remember I need to do the things in the morning - it's just by the time the afternoon rolls around I have forgotten.
Anyone have great solutions?

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I don't think it ever goes away at least not for me. I'm ADD and have to put EVERYTHING on a calender or list. If I don't nothing gets done.
My husband will tell me 10 times when he's going on a trip but unless it's on that calender I will swear he never told me.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

I don't think it ever improves! Sorry ;) My baby is 22 (and that's years, not months). I say I suffer from CRS (can't remember s*%^), and now I'm starting to blame it on old age:) I live by a list, and refer to it often. I never go to the grocery store without a list; although I still occasionally come home without a item I had on the list. Welcome to life!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You have a 2year o;d tha is keeping yu hooping relax unless it is a matter of life or death relax do not worry continue to do what you aare doing good luck A. no hills

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Honestly, I think half my brain fell out in the delivery room.

Lists lists lists, and remember to take it easy on yourself : )

3 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Mine went from toddler brain, to having 2 kids under 2 brain, to chemo brain in a few months.

I'm not sure if my forgetfulness is related to chemo (there really is a side effect called chemo brain and books written about it). I can be talking to someone, telling a story, stop and realize I have no idea what I'm talking about. I forget names of people, words.....it's really hard.

But, I think it's mostly stress-induced. I think we all have so much on our minds and our plates, that we simply can't keep it all together.

I don't have advice, just empathy!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from New York on

My son is 7 and I still have mom-nesia. My memory never went back, however, scientifically they say our memory wavers starting in our 30's and sometimes it's not memory as much as too much is going on at once. I put all my important things in my phone and alarm goes off when the event occurs, now this doesn't alwasy garauntee me to do it as when it pops up on my screen I can "snooze it for 5 Mins" or dismiss. I usually press dismiss becasue my brain says I see the appt, I'll carry through, but 5 minutes after I 'dismiss" if I haven't done the activity or whatever it is it's forgotten. I even went to a neurolgist and had a brain scan, nothing wrong just a mommy brain. If you are a visual person then it's a dry erase board or post-its all over the house.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a VERY full schedule and need good reminders to get to stuff on time (or at all). I have a Blackberry and use the calendar on it for everything. So, if I have a dr. appt for one of the kids, I put it on the calendar and set the alarm to ring at the time I need to leave. Every night before I go to bed, I review the next day calendar and also first thing when I get up in the morning. However, even if I forget, the alarm goes off when it is time for an appointment (make sure to set the alarm so you have time to get there - not for the time of the actual appt or you will always be late). I'm sure that your I-Phone can do something very similar :)

Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

You're not alone! I have to make lists and keep them with me otherwise I remember like 5 hours later what I was supposed to do earlier. You just have to get a lot of rest and that helps. But lists work best for me. I went right from baby brain to premenopause brain and they are basically the same. It drives me crazy, especially at work when I can't remember things that I always remembered before. Apparently once the hormones get regulated the brain will come back. I hope it's soon. If you are young, you'll probably get your brain back soon. I had my son at 40 and the premenopause kicked in early.

Good luck!

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think we lose brain cells during pregnancy :)

I do have lapses every once in a while, mostly when I'm really sleep deprived and exhausted. Three in one week is a lot to me. Do you normally have that many? If it's getting worse, it could be something else, sleep, stress, nutrition, hormones. Think about what has changed since this started, or just try changing what you can, get more sleep, exercise, eat better, etc. Maybe your brain also needs more stimulation? When I work less (I'm self employed so my work comes and goes), I have more memory problems. Try reading, playing brain games like sodoku, learn something new, whatever works for you.

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L.S.

answers from San Diego on

I don't have any solutions but just wanted to show solidarity. My son is 5 1/2 and I still have it. Frankly I thought there was something wrong with me. I use calendars but hoping to get an I-phone so I can keep track of things better. Just glad to know that I'm not alone! I'll be reading your answers with interest.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

No solutions for you LOL
I call it momnesia - and I still have it - my youngest is 7 LOL

Good luck :)

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Well don't feel so bad. My daughter is 15 and I am still going through it.

I manage our company from home, manage all travel, President of the cheer boosters, keep track of when I am mom taxi to violin lessons, cheer practice, private cheer trainer, etc.

I make a list and follow my list. I may not get everything done in order but I have my guideline. I also use reminders on my IPhone. It is critical that I do not forget certain things such as Accounts Payable and Accounts Receivable!! I am good with the numbers and managing that aspect of our business, I think I focus on the company's daily functions and then I lapse on everyday, mom things. I have all confirmation #'s and such for hubby's travel with me because he is known for calling me and needing a number. When I make reservations I put it all in my phone. When I have appts and such, it si on my calendar in the phone and I use the "alert" function to remind me of something.

The Alert function on the IPhone when you add something to the calendar has been great for me along with my lists.

Good luck

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L.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are 24, 21, 16 and I have a 3 year old grandaughter. I still have baby brain. Wish I could help.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 10 and I often feel like I had lost my mind.
I have to write everything down and refer to my planner constantly.
I leave it open on the counter and take it with me everywhere I go.

I agree that there is just so much going on in there that you can't keep everything up front and conscious.
Getting enough sleep is essential!

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

Oh yup . . . my son is 15-mos . . . I feel like I'm either apologizing to people for missed appointments or thanking people for finding my baby clothes, sippy cups, keys, purse, etc. I even showed up for a party a week early! So embarassing! It's so hard juggling career, family, and friends, especially when you haven't slept in a couple years. I think as long as baby is alive and well, you are doing GREAT! The rest of it . . . whatever!

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K.

answers from Las Vegas on

Well, my daughter was born 9 years ago and I still have it! I carry a small notebook that I make lists in. For some reason, I just can't use electronic devices. Something about writing it down and crossing it off, just seems to be really helpful to me. I also keep a paper calendar so I can see everything written down a month at a time. I keep telling my husband and daughter, "if it's not on the list, it doesn't exist!"

D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

It never went away for me. :( I use my iphone alarm. It rings anywhere from a half hour to 5 minutes before I have an appointment depending on what it is. And for the grocery list..I can't write it on paper because when I leave for the grocery store I leave the paperlist at home! HAHA...so I use the "notes" on my iphone. Every week I delete the list from the week before, and do a new one. I make the list as the week goes on as i notice i need something. I literaly have to stop what I am doing and add it to my list, otherwise I will remember, oh yam I have to add something to my list, but at that point I have forgotten what that something is...LOL Then i have to set an alarm to remind me of my list of things I need to get done that day..including the grocery shopping.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

The bad news: I don;t think it ever goes completely away. The good news: I am pretty sure it gets better. My mom is 51 years old, mother of 5, youngest almost 17, oldest 30. She still forgets, kind of often. I do the same thing, but not as often. Somtimes I think it is because I am so busy. You probably are too. The good thing is that I almost never forget things for my kids (jackets when it will get cold) but just for me (I forget my jacket and get cold). At this point I think it is a matter of training yourself. Sometimes I need to remind my self in the morning, an hour before I need to leave and 15 mins before I need to leave. Good luck. And in case I forgot somthing... good luck =0)

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I just got a new job and have managed to forget my keys to my office about 10x in a row. I am too embarrassed to have the secretary let me in over and over so my poor husband has to keep driving them to me (which he does with a cheerful smile--god love him). I'm pregnant which is my excuse du jour, but frankly, I think it's just life in general. I am personally thinking about turning my keys into a lovely necklace--that's my solution :)!

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I use lots of post it notes. I have them on my bathroom mirror, my computer screen and on my purse.

When I go to the store , I ALWAYS have a list. I keep it posted to my credit card, so right before I get in line, I can look it over and make sure I have everything.. Of course If I have forgotten to place it in there I am S.. out of luck..

Try tot think about what you walk past all day and leave your notes there.

My husband is severely ADHD and he sends himself notes and alarms on his blackberry and on his computer. Still not perfect..

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I have had the same problem over the years. A professor once told our group that it wasn't that we were getting older, it is just that you have so many things in your brain and it is hard to get the right thing to the front. You just have too many things to do.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

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T.C.

answers from San Diego on

I think it has a lot to do with lack of sleep or just exhaustion from the constant list that is always going in your head. Oh, and the constant interruptions from your little one's important agendas :) I do best when I have a list in front of me all day- I make it in the morning (or night before) when the kids are quiet for a minute and put it somewhere that I see it throughout the day. The phone thing doesn't help me enough because I have to make a point of looking at it, or I don't hear it blah blah blah. If I put it on the fridge or carry it with me, it helps me. And I think just taking the time to plan out my day a little helps it sink in. Good luck! Just wait until she's old enough to want to know everything about everything and your head feels like a ping pong ball is bouncing around inside- the questions come so fast you can't keep one thought of your own inside your head :)

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have the same trouble. Try setting the to-dos in your cell phone alarm.....that way you will be reminded during the day. Good luck, L

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M.B.

answers from Honolulu on

I tell people that my "baby brain" has morphed into "toddler brain". My son is now 2.

Sorry!

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D.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know if it ever comes back. My oldest is 12 and I still can't remember things. I have them on calendars, phone, etc. I also write notes and stick them in my car and I still forget. I use to remember every family members birthday and anniversary and I can't remember most of them now even written down. I just laugh it off as "senior moments" or "mommy brain" and most of my family and friends understand.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

My daughter will be 14 next month, and I'm still waiting for it to go away. Just this morning I turned the water on to take a shower, went in my room to get my clothes ready, saw some laundry in a basket, started folding, got into more cleaning, meanwhile I had completely forgotten that the water in the shower was running.

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