Memory Issues... Can't Still Be Baby Brain, Right?

Updated on August 21, 2011
J.F. asks from Commerce City, CO
29 answers

I am really concerned and thought I would ask you ladies what you think before I run to the doc freaking out.

I just turned 36 and I have 2 kids 16 months apart. They are 1(almost 2) and 3.
I am a stay at home mom and I am working on starting a home biz.
Life is crazy most day, but I am not too over worked at the moment. But juggling life sometimes gets hard.

With that said my memory is really starting to scare me. It isn't as bad as being out and about and forgetting where I am going or where I am at, but it may get there soon. lol
I can't remember appointments without a calendar. Even then I forgt at times because you have to LOOK at the calendar :)
I loose my keys all the time. This time I still have yet to find them.
Last night I boiled eggs and found them on the stove this AM. I mean I had zero memory about it last night. Not even one thought of "oh yah I have those eggs on the stove".
My hubby has a home biz and I have small little things to do for him and forget half the time to do them. Yes I am running after kids all day, but still He leaves me the paperwork on my desk. I just kinda look right past it some days.
I could go on with all the silly things I loose or forget where I place, bra, hair brush, purse, but you get my drift.

Is this normal? I have friends say it is baby brain, but my youngest will be 2 in a few weeks. How long can I use that excuse. My husband is actually concerned about this and now I am starting to become so.
Is this normal for a mom with kids and also trying to run some biz stuff?? Or do you all think it is a good idea to perhaps go see the doc? Our insurance is horrid, so it would be all out of pocket to go in and thus kinda why I have been putting it off.

Fill me in with your stories of forgetfullness or set me straight that I should be worried....

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies for making me feel normal :) and giving me a few laughs.
I still have yet to find my keys (I'll just blam the kids) but I am taking steps to make calendars and lists. Just have to remember to use them lol. I am known to leave the lists at home! Oy

As for eating better and working out, I am a vegetarian so my diet is something that I focus on. I am sure I am getting plenty of good food in me. And YES I get plenty of protien in my diet even without meat! Had my blood checked last year on my 1 year anniversay of eating no meat and doc said it looked great!
Working out is something I do a few times a week. I don't get as much sleep as I should, but probably more than some moms.
In anycase I will kinda just look over my whole routine and make adjustments and see if it helps.
I am also totally down to pick up some games that will help me keep my brain going.... fun and helpful at the same time :)

If I see a decline in memory even after these adjustments, I'll hit up my doc and see if something else can be up.
Thanks again ladies...

And to the one mom that thinks baby brain is a new thing and totally crazy- I guess you are lucky! I haven't met one mom that didn't have it on some levels. I am glad you are so put together, but cut us other moms some slack!

Featured Answers

M..

answers from Nashville on

I have 4 kids and I am just like this.
You are not alone.

You should do some brain exercises like (puzzles, word searches, mazes, and so on).

Best of luck to you.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.I.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Yeei! I'm not the only one, my husband use to joke about it , trying to get an alarm on the baby if I'm 10 fts aways....(that bad is).

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

You can use that excuse as long as you have children! LOL

My theory is that we're SO consumed with all things related to these short people, that those things we keep forgetting just get...well, forgotten!

Make lists, leave yourself notes and try to do as much in advance so you're not scrambling at the last minute. You could also try to get yourself a really strict routine in regards to your business stuff?

4 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

That started happening to me, to the point that I was a little afraid I had early-onset alzheimers or something. I began having other medical issues (weight gain, skin problems, hair falling out, my period started and did not go away for 6 months straight). Turned out I had a hypothyroid condition. I'm on medication for it, and I have my brain back now! I can remember things, I can think faster, and the other medical issues I was having have gone away too. It's worth having your doctor do a full checkup just to rule out any medical problems.

3 moms found this helpful

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

There's a saying that I think might apply to your situation:

I'm so busy I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse

3 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

You sound like me... and I've always been like that! Example, I mailed a package a few days ago. I walked by an item on my living room floor for a day and a half before the light bulb turned on and I realized that item was supposed to have been in the package. It's WAY worse when I'm pregnant. I've tried to put cereal in the fridge and milk in the pantry before while pregnant!

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yahoo, you just made ME feel better! :)

All kidding aside, I think it's normal and it should be renamed from baby brain to (I now have kids, will be endlessly tired, will worry, will have to multi taks more than I could have ever managed at a desk job!). :)

So a couple of things:
You can always make a dr appt to help rule anything out and make yourself feel better.

Put things on the calendar but maybe instead of the wall calendar in a pocket calendar you keep in your purse. So it's always w/you.

Always put your keys in the same spot.

When you're cooking something (no matter what it is), set a timer so you won't forget it and it won't burn the house down. :)

Always put things back in their place (ex. the brush, bra, purse) so you don't leave them lying around in random places. :)

Have a designated spot for everything: keys, mail, purse, makeup, bras ha ha and do your best to make yourself walk them right back to their spot when you're done.

Try to slow down and take a breather once in awhile (your taxed). Some things can truly wait. Especially since you have little ones. My friend never slows down so while her house is pristine she is always sick.

I've leet certain things go: my house isn't as clean as it used to be, I can't seem to get the recyling where it needs to be (we don't have a recyle pick up here) but my kids are happy, cared for, watched over, played with, happy and safe. On my death bed, I can always say "You know, I wish I would have cleaned more." Ha ha and I bet I won't. :)

2 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

After baby brain, it's mommy brain :)

2 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Dayton on

Um, yeah. It's normal. I think so.
Now it is Mom Brain! ;)

I have a excellent long term memory. I never forget a face. Rarely a name.
But my short term memory-it SUCKS, big time.

Tell me your name while I am watching my kids and I can't even remember it for a second.

Wasn't so bad when I only had one...but two...and (you) running a business (!)...
I wouldn't waste time going to the Dr.. Your brain is just overtaxed.
Get one of those handy mom organizers-just don't forget to write in it. ;)

ETA: My case and point...I just had cream of wheat on the stove and ruined it cause I completely forgot it...and then put my phone charger instead of my phone in my purse. Yay! Mom brain!

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm 26 and I have a 3 year old and 10 month old. Baby brain was bad, but doesn't even compare to mommy brain! Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. In the past week I've forgotten bags at the checkout twice. I go out to get diapers and milk, go to two stores and randomly get a few others things, come home with no diapers or milk. Basically if it isn't written down somewhere there is no way I am going to remember it. I could seriously go on forever with all of the things I forget, but I can't remember them all!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Sleep deprivation makes me have a horrible memory. How is your sleep each night? Once your sleep improves I bet your memory will too....bc that is what happened to me. The other thing they say is to get in exercise 4 times a week to get your blood flowing. This is what many doctors recommend to people with memory problems. Are you getting regular exercise? Just keep good lists and your calendar with you at all times to help you remember things. Write EVERYTHING down! Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Great Falls on

Glad you got some reassurance--it helped me too! I totally understand how you feel! In my opinion, I think a lot of it has to do with personality. Do you tend to care a lot about quality? Do you spend a lot of time noticing little things? Do you have any tendency towards perfection? I think people who tend to see every detail have a hard time remember things in the bigger picture because there is so much stimuli coming in! I have a friend that doesn't forget as much as I do on a daily basis, but she never remembers people's birthdays and such. Whereas, I would forget the eggs on the stove to make sure I've got a gift for so and so's B-Day. So, it is just different focus in our different personalities--it is actually not such a bad thing--we need all these different views in our world to bounce off of each other! :-)
Also, my hubby runs two businesses, I work for him and have the kids too. Trying to juggle so many hats at the same time was making us both crazy! So having set times to work on one business (and what doesn't get done one day, make a note and finish the next) and then set times for the other helps. Trying to mix it all in is tough!
Relax and enjoy what you can!

1 mom found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Austin on

Once I sat down to read something on this site. Completely forgot I was cooking hashbrowns for my son until I smelled it burning. I let the cat out into the garage and then spent a couple hours wondering where it went. The cat was happy, but it worried me that I could forget something like that. (The scary kind of forgetfulness almost like parents who leave a kid in a car)
I've kept a lot of lists over the last few years- how much my son ate, questions for the doctor, what time I took medicines, what to pack for vacations. I use a notebook(harder to lose than sticky notes). This does not work for my mother- she loses the notebook, starts a new one, then loses it.
I make a daily to do list of errands for the day copied over from the calendar. I'm very sleepy in the morning so I'd write down the night before what to put in my son's lunch, including a fork and a drink or I'd forget them. After several months of doing this, I can now remember without having to write it down.
A tip I heard from someone with ADHD(I haven't tried it myself) is to practice each habit step by step like putting the keys away. Do the same action dozens of times in a row and somehow it sticks in your brain better.

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds normal to me. It's not baby brain, it's mommy brain. I think it'll get better as your kids are older and your brain isn't trying so hard to keep track of everything to do with them. Are you getting undisturbed sleep at night? I notice a huge difference when I get a full nights sleep. But that happens rarely, and I definitely have prego and mommy brain.

I've had it get really bad before. I'm the one who is in charge of our budget. But when I'm really bad with the brain, I really struggle with even remembering to do it. It takes me forever to DO it. I forget all the similar things as you. I try to be organized, but I'm totally not when I'm in that brain mode.

Even though it's gotten really bad before, it has tremendously improved for me. I'm sure it'll get bad again once this baby is born:-) So, my diagnosis, from one mom to another, is that it's very normal. When your kids are a few years older, and if you're still doing this, there might be something wrong. But odds are it's more along the lines of you needing more healthy fat in your diet (really does wonders!) and more omega (whatever they are) in your diet too.

K.M.

answers from New Orleans on

I always have it too. I have 3 kids myself,the youngest who is 2 and still have to keep all my up coming events written on a big calender on the wall also. It use to be where i had a mini calender in my purse that i would keep track but after 3 kids I had to start keeping track on the big calender,that way I don't forget to look at it. Another thing I have to do is mark on the calender if I gave my kids their vitiamins,allergy medicine,etc that day b/c if not, i would freak out rather or not i gave them medicine that day.(I think I have OCD). Another was when they were babies I use to boil their bottle water and nipples and bottles and would go out and forget I have it on the stove then I would smell something or wonder why its so hot in the house.Then I would remember I forgot I left it on the stove again.I think its all common. I think after we have kids are brains are going in overdrive.lol..

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S.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I wouldn't say it is so much "baby brain" but just day to day activities. I do the exact same things. Like I will put something down and then completely forget about it. Or start to do something and then go and do something else and forget to finish the other thing I was doing. Just do one thing at a time until it is finished and think about what you are doing at the moment and not what you are going to do next. That may help but it is going to happen no matter what. As far as loosing things. Just pick a spot to put things and keep it there like your purse or keys or whatever. That helps me. I just put the stuff in the same spot that way I know where it always is.

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M.A.

answers from Denver on

I have to say, my boy is 5 now and some things just never came back! :)
I was the one that used 'big' words - I'd send DH to look for the dictionary sometimes. Now I'm lucky if I can remember what I was trying to say, let alone use 'big' words.
Lists? I hated them! I could remember our grocery list just fine without a list, thankyouverymuch! Now I don't think I could get through the day without them - which still bums me out.
I think that it's not so much that our minds diminish (check out the big word! XD) just that we have so much more to think about! I know for myself at least that there's always some part of me worried about the boy - is he happy, safe, hungry, well behaved? Is he treating the dog ok? The cat? Is he in another growth spurt? Is he getting enough calcium? And on and on and on. I can only imagine thinking about two kids!
Some things can be taken care of with a little tweak to your day. Get a hook & put it up on the wall where it makes sense to hang your purse when you get home. Then hang it there every single time! Make it a habit - even when carrying tons of stuff, stop & hang it as soon as you walk in. Get one of those clips (not sure what they're called - it's about a 3 in strap with split rings on each side and a clip in the middle that comes apart) at a hardware store and use it to clip your keys to your purse every single time they come out of the ignition.
Little tiny adjustments can really make your day SO much easier! Good luck! :D

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

Your brain is a muscle. Go online and find brain boosting activities or purchase books on this and there are ways to exercize your brain and help to improve your memory. The more you rely on writing everything down or having other ppl remind you of things the worse your memory will get and age only helps speed up the process. So start doing brain crunches now while you still remember how to turn on the computer or find your way to and from the book store LOL =)
Good Luck

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Mommy brains.... is an ongoing thing.
It is because, once we have kids... we women have to keep track of SOOOOOOOOOOO much. In our brains.
Thus, this happens.

I had my first child, 8 years ago.
I still have Mommy-Brain.

C.C.

answers from Visalia on

you might want to look into better healthy eating foods that are brain boosters, also teas and health pills for the memory. . . if you can remember.

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B.H.

answers from Dallas on

Totally normal. I keep lists and cross things off after I do them. I also take topamax daily for migrane prevention, and one of the side effects is aphasia (sp) which means forgetting words... and that really stinks. Searching my brain for a word I KNOW but just can't remember! People look at me like I'm a complete idiot!

But yeah..... you have tons of stuff going on - figuring out a schedule will help I'm sure.

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

You probably just have too much on your mind. I lost my keys the other day (as I do VERY often) and found them an hour later. Tucked in the couch. Oops. You are not alone! =)

Some things that help the brain with memory:
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/5-foods-to-remember-for-...

Worth a try!! =)

G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Are you on any kind of medication right now? Some meds will affect short term memory loss. I took Lexapro (antidepressant) after my second son was born, in anticipation that I would have PPD. Lexapro does cause short term memory loss. With having worked as a pharmacy tech for many years, I know that there are lots of meds out there that can affect the short term memory.
If you aren't taking any meds, then it could be that you're just overwhelmed and may need to reorganize, and cut down what you do throughout the day.
Or, you may need to go see the doctor. In fact, you probably should just to make sure nothing else is going on. To forget what you have on the stove can be potentially dangerous/fatal if that continues. You could one day forget that you have the stove 'on', or one of the burners on, and it could cause a fire.
With losing your keys, try to put them in your purse as soon as you walk in the door. That's what I have to do too. I can't put my keys on a key tray, or on the counter or hang them up. They have to be in my purse or I'll forget them. lol
You could also be low on some vitamins/minerals that help the memory part of the brain. Going to the doc, he/she may have you do a blood test to see what your levels are.
I hope you find answers soon. Try to cut down what you have to get done throughout the day to give yourself a bit of breathing room. :-D

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N.D.

answers from Denver on

Don't be so h*** o* yourself. You are not the only one this happens to, you ar on overload...running a house, raising kids, starting a biz of some sort, cooking dinner.....the list goes on. Get a good notebook and ALWAYS write EVERYTHING that you want to accomplish in it. Change the sheets, go to the bank, look "this" up online, go run "this" errand.....you get the picture.
I have a 2, 4 years old and one on the way. Lists, Lists, Lists. I asked my husband and he says he has post it's in his office for things he needs to do. That makes me feels better!!!! LOL.
See if it helps you. If not, then go talk to your dr. That's my advice. good luck!

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

With little ones, trying to manage a home, those in themselves may be why you're forgetting so much ; )

But if it continues to bother you have a physical and let the doctor know what's going on. Lab work may show up something amiss, my mom started forgetting things in a major way at 29 (not good with 6 children at the time) and it was found she had an underactive thyroid, which was easily managed. I have fibromyalgia and it's one of my symptoms, "Fibro fog," hardly a problem sometimes, major at others. Or memory loss can be a symptom of something else.

My solution to my lack of focus and memory is counteracting it. To avoid losing my keys I ALWAYS put them back in the same place when I walk in the house. For me it's a hook by the door, high up from the floor so little ones can't reach them. A huge calendar with appts written in and placed by my bedroom door so I see it when I'm walking out, also easy to check when I think of something at night, I write everything on it so it helps me to stay on track. A composition book I jot down what I need to do that day that I check off as I go, it stays with me. I also use it for grocery lists, Christmas and birthday lists, etc. And getting enough sleep and rest, eating right, and drinking enough water.

My point being it's more than likely your juggling everything you do, but if it gets to the point it truly bothers you have it checked out ✿

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

The only part of what you said that sounds a little beyond the typical "baby brain" thing, is that when you discovered the eggs on the stove this morning, you didn't think "OH yeah... I did that last night and forgot about it.". If you have no recollection of boiling them that would be concerning. Are you sure that YOU boiled them? Any chance your husband did it?

It can't hurt to see the doctor and ask about this specifically. Take a list (I know, you have to remember to do it, lol) of examples of what you are not remembering and typical scenarios. Be sure you mention the eggs.
Just my "lay person's" opinion...

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Multi tasking is horrible on the brain. We do sooooo many things without truly thinking about them and our brain has not logged them all into the memory bank. Try to do things in the moment...not 5 things at once. Multi tasking is a myth...it just means we are doing a bunch of things really crappy instead of one or two things really well.

I try to be a very organized and efficient person,mom, wife...and it took me awhile to get the myth of multi tasking into my thick skull. Research has been done on this...I even was part of a book club that focused on it. Multitasking wasn't working so well for me once babies came along and I was taking on more little people's stuff. As moms we have soooo much to do and soooo little time.

I now go over our family calendar the night before...then look at it again in the morn to refresh my brain synapses to start firing!!

I focus on getting to bed on time instead of staying up late to get stuff done...sleep really helps...and exercise...and eating well.

I would try to simplify as much as possible for awhile to see if it helps your "mommy brain" and then decide if you still think you are "losing your mind".

Good luck mama! I really think that majority of mamas say they are in the same boat as you. And...you have more on your plate than I do with regards to helping a husband with job tasks and starting up own business. Sheeesh...cut yourself some slack. You are doing the job of about 3 people..all on one brain...with very little ones to boot!!
PS..set a timer on things....like the eggs when you are cooking them...then set it again for later to put them in the fridge. My timer has saved me from over filling our pool MANY times!!! Best wishes!!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Could it be sleep-deprivation? I would say it's normal for a mommy who is sleep deprived or even just outright exhausted to be that forgetful. I know that for me, if I get less than seven hours of sleep a night, my brain does not function properly. I cannot remember things I'm supposed to be doing, I cannot focus, and all I can think about is getting more sleep. It's really hard to function under those cirumstances, and I always feel better when I've gotten more sleep. So it could be normal from having two young children who run you ragged all day long. If it were me, I wouldn't go to the doctor quite yet, or maybe you can just schedule a physical and bring it up as one of your concerns. Good luck, and get some rest! :-)

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