I am hoping some other seasoned Moms can help me. I am struggling with the issue to hold my son back this year.
My son is 11 and fairly big for his age (5' 6"). He is in the 5th grade, and we are a military family. This was our first school year in NC. He has severe ADHD, and has IEP in place. His grades are good, B and C's. However he is reading at a 4th grade level, and he is very immature. My concern is that he is in no way ready for middle school, he is very impulsive and socially he has some deficits. My husband is getting ready to deploy and that is going to be a challange for him as it has been the other 4 times he deployed. But I am not sure if he is ready emotionally or academically. Yet at the same time I don't want to hold him back and give him the stigma that is associated with being held back.
I need to hear from Moms that have been where I am, or anyone who has been held back. How did it effect you, was it a positive or negative experience?
K.,
Have you considered looking into a summer reading program offered at a learning center? It may be that some of his "self-esteem" issues actually revolve around his inferior feelings when he compares himself and his reading ability to his peers. I know my daugther has greatly imporoved in all apsects of life with a better view of life and school. I would stronly encourage you check out a program such as Sylvan. Good luck!
As an educator, I look at retention fairly simply. Is one more year at that same grade going to catch them up to where they need to be? If there's a really good chance, then you need to look at the psychological effects. Some students really "bloom" when given the chance to be successful, others shut down emotionally. With 6th grade being the "junior high" scene, it may be too much to send him on especially with the challenge of dad being gone too. I highly recommend getting his teacher's perspectives, taking him for a consulation at a place like Sylvan, or asking the school if they can recommend a tutor to come to your home over the summer 2-5 times/week. Small group and one-on-one learning can really move kids along quickly! All in all, trust your gut. A parent's instinct is usually dead-on! Good luck!
You may want to send him to Sylvan during the summer to catch up with his class? It can be that simple! There's a location on Morganton across the street from Morganton Elementary. Good luck!
Hi K.
Have you thought about homeschooling? I held my son back in Kindergarten (he is 11) ...was homeschooling at the time and still am. He had encephalitis with seizure disorder the year before last which sent him behind another 6 months. He is behind in reading, possibly a learning disability but he is making good progress now and i am trying to catch him up, but even when we catch up he'll still be a year behind others his age because of holding him back in K. I don't regret holding him back because he was just not intellectually or emotionally mature enough at the time for his grade level. It takes the sting out of it if you school him at home, and then you get to have more input into his education and can also tailor a curriculum just for him and his learning style. With homeschooling, the emphasis is more on learning and enjoyment of learning rather than just keeping up with everyone else. Your heart has to be in it though or it will be a burden. With your son's challenges, and the military lifestyle, it might be a good option for you. God bless.
S.
