Repeating 1St Grade?

Updated on April 20, 2007
C.A. asks from Lexington, KY
19 answers

My son is in 1st grade, and is struggling with reading. He has no behavior problems, and does very well in all his other subjects. He is great at Math, and is very intelligent! I met with his teacher and she said he was reading on a level 3 when he should be on a 12, and she suggested holding him back. I am afraid that it would be a blow to his self-esteem, especially since he is self-conscience now. I am willing to spend extra time on his reading if it means he can continue, but I don't know where to start. He is getting special attention in school, but is making little progress. I keep thinking that it will eventually click. Do you think it is really necessary to hold him back, considering he is doing so well in everything else? Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Hey, I finally made the decision to hold him back. I met with the principle and his teachers, and it seems like we are all on the same page. I realized that I was feeling super pressured to get him to read by the time school ended, and was taking my stress out on him. I am currently pregnant and will have a newborn to take care of this summer, so I do not know if I can spend as much time on teaching him to read. In the long run I thought it was best to let him learn at his own pace. Reading comes later to some kids. I also realized that his self- esteem would be damaged if he couldn't read in second grade, and the other kids could. Thanks for the advice.

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N.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I taught first grade for many years and this shouldn't be an option until you have taken him to the best tutor you can find for the rest of the year.

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H.B.

answers from Lafayette on

Hi C.: my suggestion is to hold him back. It would be better now than to wait a year or two and HAVE to hold him back. It would be better on his emotional state now than later. You can explain that he is going through 1st grade again now so he can get his reading to improve. I have a 6 year old little boy. If the teacher suggested to me that I hold him back - you bet I would do it. You don't want him to be behind for the rest of his life. That is just my thought. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Louisville on

My daughter was held back to help her in math but she was in what they call a half grade. She wasnt in 3rd grade and she wasnt in 4th grade either. It never bothered her a bit. You tell him that they want to help him with his reading and it isnt anything he did wrong, they want to help him in reading. He will understand.

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H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi,
My daughter is in 1st grade and is an advance reader thanks to a reading program that she went to when she was 4yrs old. Here is the program that she went to .....

http://www.cln.iupui.edu/content/CB/reading/programs.html

H..

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S.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter was struggling with reading but was good in other subjects. In the first grade she had special attention,she was passed to the second grade and struggled even more. We held her back in the second grade because of the reading. It was one of the best things we ever did for her. She got to review the things she was already good at and it gave her extra time to catch up on reading. We read every night for at least a half an hour. Reading will affect the rest of his grades later if he doesn't get the help now. How he reacts to being held back at such a young age will depend on how you handle it. Don't make a big deal out of it. If you do, he will. Remember if you do hold him back you are doing it to help him not punish him. Tutors can be great also.
Congradulations on the new baby and good luck with your son.

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C.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

Write a letter to the school requesting for him to be tested for a learning disability. It won't cost you a dime and it if he tests that their is some kind of a learning disability then it can only benefit him. He will get the help he needs in reading. And no, I would not have him held back if reading is his only hang up.
Good luck.
C

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S.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

If you think it would be a blow to his self esteem now, wait until he's in fourth or fifth grade and struggling so bad they retain him. Then he would have to be in a different grade level then all his friends, etc. It effects them much more in those years than it does during their first grade year. I taught first grade and those who struggled with reading (especially when they are only 25% as far as they should be) I highly recommended retention. I think you should strongly consider how he'll feel being the "lower" end of his class in later years. Tough thing to do, I understand.

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A.W.

answers from Lafayette on

How are they teaching him to read? When my brother was growing up a-t said "at" because the teacher said so...c-l-u-b said "club" because the teacher said so. As a result my brother still has reading problems. He's ok with the words that he's familiar with and he's seen often, but put a word that he's never seen before infront of him and he hasn't a clue in the world what it is...the man is in his 40's. When I learned to read, we had phonics. I learned that every letter has a certain sound or two and that if you put those sounds together they make words...c-l-u-b says "club" because c says "K", l says "L", u says "uh", and b says "buh" and when you put the sounds together it says club. Point is that maybe they're teaching him the wrong way. Test him yourself to see if he knows what sounds his letters make...if not then get some phonics books and start working with him.

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J.V.

answers from Lexington on

I am having the same problem. My son is in 1st grade too. He is really good in math, and is an awesome little boy. He has taken 2 yrs. of kindergarten, and is still having trouble. I am currently having him tested for learning diabilities. I am very pushy when it comes to school, my daughter who has no problems But laziness :o) does very good. So push her to be her best. Well with my son, I thought that it was the same problem. Laziness! So I pushed him, well it truly wasn't and now I have brought his self esteem down. I think that it is better to hold them back when they are younger. Only because no-one realizes it. But when they are older everyone realizes it and they tend to be picked on more. I hope that this helps and that I didn't just ramble on.

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J.C.

answers from Louisville on

holding a child back isnt always a bad thing, yeah he might be a little upset now but what about the rest of the time. If you dont hold him back now and it progressively gets worse or even stays the same and hes has to struggle in the future it will really take a tole on his self esteem. I think you really need to nip the problem in the bud while its small so it wont get worse or have anyother effects on his school.hes seems like an extremely smart child and should do well know hes has this chance to do better.Besides he already knows most of it so hell be at the top of the new class and feel exremely smart!

if you decide to let him go on to the next grade then i would strongly recomend taking him to a center like sullivan lerning center or another lerning help center because they are very good a getting children to excel in the one area they are having problems. My friend took her daughter there because she was doing great at all of her subjects but was having difficulty with her english and now she has an a in that too she was 8 when she went. im sure they can help him get to a level where his reading is more comfortable for him and acceptable for the teachers, and you can pick up and help him fine tune the reading from there.

good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

HOld him back! you dont want him to be the only kid in 2nd grade not reading. its better to let him get caught up before you push him forward, i was held back in first grade and so was my boy friends little brother. and thank god i was! he will be better off staying another year instead of being pushed and really not getting it... good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Charleston on

I held my child back in second grade because of reading and he learned to read shortly after that with my help and from him doing more reading in school. It was the worst decision i had made but i was young too and unsure, but it was up to me. Anyways he dropped out when he got into high school after 10th grade. He was a great kid and did fairly well on his grades but due to him always being older than everyone else he couldn't deal with that. He is 19 yrs old and has a job traveling with the Nascar circuit which I am grateful for because two years after he dropped out he sort of was distant and confused to what he should do. But now he has been all over the states from California to New Hampshire and seeing the world before he decides what he wants to do with the rest of his life unless he continues to stay with Nascar. He always did things for hisself. So this desicion I was happy with. But it is yours to decide but I wouldn't suggest you do it unless you really think long and hard. Not to say it would be different for your child, everyone is different.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I would also look into an outside learning program. Maybe the teacher isn't one who's striking his interest in the area of reading. I would start out calling Sylvan Learning Center. I called there once with a question and was amazed by how helpful and friendly the lady who answered the phone was. She was even the director there, but took time to answer my questions. I am confident after speaking with her that if it's not the best place to start, she'd point you in the right direction. He has 6 months to get caught up until 2nd grade starts. I think that sounds like enough time, but I would definitely not wait any longer before getting something started.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

See your doctor. There may be a reason. He could have bad vision or even dyslexia.

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P.F.

answers from Elkhart on

Hi C.,

Have you thought about a reading tutor?

I have a five year old daughter who is somewhat delayed in all areas. In order for me to feel comfortable sending her to kindergarten in the fall, I sent her to a personal tutor last summer to get her at least "reading ready." I can now happily say, the reading tutor paid off. Reading is the one subject that she is having the least trouble with.

I hope this helps.

Pam

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S.G.

answers from South Bend on

C.,

I am a former teacher and I know that personally I would never suggest holding a student back unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. Retention was always the very last thing I would suggest after trying other things. Has your son's teacher tried to remidiate him?
That being said, it is your right as a parent to decide whether he should go on or not. I know in my area colleges and libraries offer reading programs in the summer at little or no cost. I would strongly suggest getting your son involved in such a program no matter what your decision is. I am sure you already do this, but read with your son every day. He does not have to read to you. Just share books with him. You want to give him a love for reading.
I know as a teacher it was always such a difficult decision to retain a student. I can only imagine what it would be like as a parent. My thoughts are with you! Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Lexington on

I have 4 children and 3 of them have reading disabilities. Ask the school to test your child and see if this may be a problem.

That said I did hold the 2 youngest back as they could not read and they were struggling. I was concerned that they may have behavior problems and self esteem problems if they saw that the whole class could read and keep up and they didn't understand what was going on. The age thing wasn't an issue as my 2nd child didn't start school until he was 6 years old due to his birthday so he was always a year older...kids don't look at that as much as adults do. While the boy is still struggling with reading and school and voices some regrets for being held back...I wish I could have held him back in 1st grade...the girl is thriving and has been in the special ed classes since 1st grade...the one she repeated...she is in 6th grade now. By the end of middle school I am confident that she will no longer need the extra help.

If you feel the need to hold him back 1st grade is the time to do it as it becomes MORE traumatic the older the child gets. If you wait too long the child may believe that they are stupid because they can't keep up with the class and that is a hard thing to overcome. Try convincing your child that they are not stupid when they are comparing themselves to their friends...it's a really hard sell...I am still trying to convince my youngest boy who is in 8th grade that I have the tests to prove how smart he really is....all he sees are the grades on his report card and judges his intelligence by them.

The choice is yours to make. I don't regret mine as I did it for my childrens best interests...and you will make your decision based on your child's best interest...there is no wrong decision as it is based on your child's needs and unique qualities.

Good Luck!!!

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J.N.

answers from Charleston on

As s second grade teacher and reading specialist, I can certainly appreciate what your child's teacher is considering. I can also sense what you are thinking about with retaining him... How do you explain that his friends are moving to second grade while he stays in first? In addition, you don't want him to have to spend each year trying to "catch up" from the previous one.
I have also heard great things about Sylvan and even had a close friend to take her daughter there and was amazed by the results. With Sylvan, you can see exactly the skills your son may or may not be lacking. Another possibility may be to seek assistance from a "Reading Recovery" specilaist.
I would like to suggest another program that is used by our school, and many other schools in our district. We use a phonics program called "Fundations". It was developed by the same person who developed the Wilson Reading System which was designed for adults that were unable to read, and students that have been diagnosed with reading difficulties. The program is extremely successful and very research based. The Fundations is the phonics component of the Wilson Reading program uses hands on tools to assist children with learning. The program also uses many visual tools to reinforce taught skills. I use it with my entire class, but it would work effectively in a small group also. I am not certain the exact cost, but the program has worked well with my students, and they enjoy it. You may check with some tutoring facilities in your area to see if any are "Wilson Trained" or have heard of the program. With a little one coming in June, you may need to rely on others to see that he can go to training, or tutoring. I wish you the very best of luck. You are his mother and you will make the right decision, because you will do it out of love, and what you think is best for him. Best Wishes for your new addtion also!

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K.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

If he is doing good in the other subjects, I would seriously consider an outside training program. If you hold him back for just reading, he is going to get even more frustrated repeating all the other subjects. I know Sylvan is always a choice, but I have no experience with that program - heard good things. My son had some Cognitive Skill issues and I found Learning Rx. It has been a great help. They have a program called Reading Rx that is supposed to train the brain how to read. I think they have locations in Carmel and on the Southside. I was lucky because they set up a program at my son's school. If you are interested, I can get you the information.

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