Stolen Wedding Ring- Existing Marital Issues Is This a Sign? Do I Replace It?

This is really confusing.
You are obviously upset and going through a hard time, but I don't understand how you were robbed? If the men were posing as repairmen, just what were they "repairing" and where were you while they were taking all these valuable, irreplaceable things? I've had lots of workers and repairmen in my house over the years and I've always kept one eye on them while they were here. And just where did you keep a $30,000 ring? And why won't your insurance cover it?
I'm not trying to be insensitive, I'm just confused.

This post is so confusing. If you had already called a divorce attorney I don't see how the ring came into play?

If I may ask why didn't your insurance cover the ring? I didn't even have to pay extra for the rider to cover my ring.....

I feel bad asking questions because I am sure you are hurting but I am trying to make sense of everything.

Did you spend the money on the move to another house so he couldn't afford anything but a band? If he went through the expense of moving his family to make you feel secure that trumps any ring out there. It seems like he was working on moving you guys instead of working on replacing the ring. That shows he has his priorities in the right place.

So... since he didn't put a steel bolt or used gum wrapper on your finger the night the ring was stolen you don't think he cares enough and his offer to replace the ring with a new one isn't valid?

Was your ring on your finger when it was stolen? Or was it in a jewelry box and snatched? Did you ever file a police report at all? Was it ever insured? Does your husband even know that you plan to divorce him at this point?

You're saying a lot without giving very many details at all. I think that you sound confused and might want to think about marriage counseling and individual therapy. You both need to learn to communicate better AND not make assumptions about what the other is thinking or what each others intentions are.

EDIT: No, you don't have to suck it up or overlook being treated poorly... but you do need to talk and figure out how to work through the anger. I've been so close to divorce that I was ready to call a lawyer and didn't think I could manage one more day. It took a lot of remembering what drew us together in the first place, counseling, therapy, and willingness to work through things. It was hard work. It took time. I think it made our marriage stronger.

This is confusing to me. I'm really sorry if this is what you are really going through, but I'm not sure. I get the marital issues and sick kids, but why would you let shady looking guys into the house and then into your room (or wherever you had the ring stored). How does the ring come in to this? Why did you wait that long to call if you let them in the house? And he was smart enough to hide it from the cops? No...the cops would look harder. I don't know - something just seems off here. And insurance absolutely SHOULD cover it...my insurance has all of my jewelry and if you filed a police report I don't see the problem? Why did the ONLY take the ring?

I too am confused by your post...

I have a rider on my jewelry. So I do not understand why the insurance company will not replace it. Something of that value, i would DEFINITELY make sure it was covered.

You have sooo much going on right now - is your daughter healthy yet? I would not make life altering decisions when there is so much going on.

My engagement ring was stolen in 2004. Today is our 14th wedding anniversary.

I would strongly suggest marriage counseling before you throw in the towel on your marriage. it's not easy. And you have a lot going on. For me? I don't need a wedding band or an engagement ring to be married. While I understand the importance to you of having a ring and I think it sounds like you are sooo angry at your husband for more than this that you are making this portion out to be more...yes. It IS a high value ring - but really- it's a RING.

Men are wired differently. My husband wasn't upset over the loss of my engagement ring - he was mad - but he was like - okay - find a new one and press on. He's probably focused on you allowing men posing as repairmen into your home...and more concerned about you and your daughter being harmed than whether or not you lost a material item. That's a man's brain...protecting family! material things can be replaced. he's trying with a wedding band - you both are focused on different things...you need to learn to communicate with each other so that you can get on the same page...
Please go to counseling so that you can salvage your marriage.

It's not about the ring. It's about bitterness. That's unforgiving anger. That can splinter the very best of marriages. There could be other matters as well, but since you and I don't know each other that's the only one I can focus on from reading your post. Please, please find a trustworthy counselor to talk to. Sometimes impersonal, impartial advice can help break through the stranglehold of high emotion. At worst, it can't hurt.

I am sorry this is a hard time for you...Why wont' insurance replace it? Was it listed on a personal articles policy? It should be covered under mysterious disappearance. YOu have spoken to your insurance. I would want it replaced because of the monetary value and maybe to pass onto my kids. Aside from that if your marriage is on the rocks I would get counseling asap.