What Do U Think of Married Men Who Don't Wear Wedding Bands?

Updated on October 24, 2010
A. asks from Dallas, TX
34 answers

I'm curious to know what women think about men who will not wear a wedding ring, and/or don't think it's a big deal, or have excuses like: "I don't like wearing jewelry."; "I always forget to wear mine." "It doesn't mean anything. I know my commitment to my wife. A ring isn't going to get in the way of me cheating if that's what I chose to do, but I'll never cheat."

How do you view a man you meet at work who doesn't wear a wedding ring but is married? Do you have a skewed view of his intentions? Do you think anything of it? Do you think it sends a mixed message?

I want to know what you think, Mamas!

Curious,

A.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

My husband uses all of those excuses because he hates wearing it. Now, I know that my husband works construction, and it does irritate him, but after expressing how it made me feel that he didn't wear it, he reluctantly agreed to wear it daily. I personally feel it sends the wrong message to other people, but my husband disagrees. It's only out of love for me that he wears it.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

My husband always wears his ring and if he forgets at home he always feels bad like he's missing something. He knows some guys that don't wear theirs and TOTALLY disagrees with them. So he and I think you should always wear it.

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

I don't think it's probably too much of a big deal, but I have to admit, when I know a man is married, but doesn't wear a ring, I ALWAYS wonder if he does that so women will think he's not married........
My hubby wears his, and it would make me wonder about him if he stopped!

There's my two cents....

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G.W.

answers from Auburn on

I will answer this question not generally but specifically. I want my husband wearing his ring at all times. And some men do attach sentimental value to their rings and my husband is a prime example of that. We are coming up on our 17th wedding anniversary in Feb. We were 18 and 20 when we married. I picked out a decorative gold band for him that has these "<" type of nothches engraved all the way around it. One day years ago, as we were cuddling or something on the couch, I slipped his ring off, looked at it and then slipped it back on. He immediately looked down at it, took it off and turned it around. I asked him why he did that and he said he always wore his ring with the "point facing to the right ex: >>>>"
because it always reminded him to "keep going in the right direction". I thought that was AMAZING that he had thought that. Also, two years ago, he upgraded my ring to a bigger, nicer white gold setting. I told him the other day I was considering buying him a new white gold anniversary band for Christmas to match mine and he said he really liked the one he's always worn. I guess I'm really lucky that I have a husband that knows the value (not monetary, of course) of his ring and what it represents. Sorry so long, just wanted to share. :-)

2 moms found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I did ask my husband to wear his ring. But my dad wore his, and it was able to be put on/off quite easily during his affair, so it doesn't help much as a deterrant. But I still asked my husband to wear his. But keep in mind a lot of people don't wear rings because it "feels funny". My husband wears his religiously, but I see him playing with it a lot when he's watching TV or thinking. I always take mine off when I'm cooking with raw meats (especially chicken), or when I'm bathing my son (so I don't scratch him), or when I'm working on a busy day (carrying furniture and stuff b/c I don't want it getting scratched or damaged)and often forget to put them back on. I adore my husband and am SO PROUD to be married to him, and don't look twice at any men (except Russell Crowe? lol) because noone could be as good for me as the one I've got. But I do catch myself without my ring. It may just be that we weren't ALLOWED to wear rings or jewelry of any kind working in chemical plants/refineries for so long, that I don't see it as a necessary thing to wear. But I wear it everytime we're on a date, if I'm missing him because he's working too much, or if I'm going anywhere that someone may look to see if I'm married: I make sure to let them know. I think jewelry just isn't for some people, but definately has its place. Come to think of it.....I'm not wearing it now! Though I do wear my husband's child on my hip religiously. :)

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I think it depends on when he wears it and what type of job he has. My dad has never worn a wedding band because he is a mechanic and it is dangerous to wear them at work. Him and my mom have been married for 33 years and as strong as ever. My husband and a friend of his also don't wear them at work. His friend is a mechanic and my husband is in aviation. However, they do wear theirs all other times (just not at work). If my husband worked at a desk all day (especially around alot of women) you bet I would want him to wear it!

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N.

answers from Dallas on

I've been married for 14 years and until 2 years ago, my husband never wore a wedding ring. He found one he liked 2 years ago so we bought it and he's worn it ever since. I never had a problem when he didn't wear his original ring and if he took the one off he has now and decided not to wear it, I wouldn't have a problem with that either.

That's MY husband though. There are some men out there that I know that I would question why they weren't wearing their ring if they all of a sudden decided not to wear one. I hear things from my husband about men he works with sometimes that makes me think they might be capable of cheating if the right opportunity came along.

In general, I guess if I knew a man who was married and didn't wear a wedding ring, I might question why he doesn't. But I don't think I would automatically think it was concealing in nature since my husband went so long without a ring. I'd probably just assume it had to do with the type of work he did or maybe that he hadn't found one he liked yet or something like that.

If you have a problem with your husband not wearing his wedding ring, you obviously feel insecure about him and should probably ask him to wear it so you feel better about things. If he refuses to wear it to make you feel better, then you probably have bigger problems to attend to. I know if my husband didn't wear his ring and I asked him to, he would.

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E.J.

answers from San Antonio on

Scum and sluts! I can say that because my dad was like that. I love my dad, but he DID cheat on my mom!

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L.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I dont' think it's a big deal at all. My dad never ever wore one. He was incredibly faithful to my mother (and vice versa). My mother didn't wear her ring all the time either because some times it didn't fit, etc. I had a friend whose dad had affairs all the time. He wore his ring faithfully. Maybe it was the only faithful part of his marriage. As my mother says, "a ring doesn't make a marriage." I also think it doesn't keep a cheating man (or woman) from cheating.

My husband and I don't wear our rings all the time either. My dh lost his ring rafting in a river a year or two ago. My skin gets irritated from time to time by the white gold (hmmmm maybe this is a good excuse to upgrade to platinum). I couldn't wear my ring while I was pregnant and for about a year afterwards.

I've never thougth about what other people at work thought about it. I think the fact that we talk about each other, have pictures up, go home every night to each other, etc. sends a message stronger than any piece of jewelry could.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

It's fine. My husband always wears his but I only wear mine when we go out. I never wear jewelery on a daily basis except for earrings so it is hard for me to get accustomed(and remember!) to wear my wedding band and ring everyday. Of course, we've only been married since August but I do feel a little guilty that he wears his all the time and I don't wear mine. It's uncomfortable for me to wash dishes,do laundry,or excercise when wearing jewelry on my hands. I dont even like to wear a watch. So I'm in the same boat as your hubby.
And he's right...if a man were going to be unfaithful, a ring would not get in the way.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Well, if the line of work he is in is machinery and he could risk losing a finger or hand by wearing it, then I could understand him not wearing a ring. Or if he's Eastern European and it's customary to wear it on the right hand or not at all.

But I think if you are married that it is proper to show an outward sign that you are committed by marriage to another person, i.e. wear the ring. I am always suspicious of the person who says they don't need the paper or the ring to have a relationship...that tells me they are keeping the escape hatch open and I think that is shiesty. This is all my own opinion of course.

If you know a guy at work is married but doesn't wear a ring, I think as long as he tells people he's married he isn't sending out mixed signals...But I also think it's pretty important for the people he is telling to remember that he's married too...now if he wanders around flirting and doesn't mention he's married until something's about to happen, well, that seems pretty rotten to me...

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it's a big deal. My father HATES wearing jewelry and hasn't worn a wedding band in the 25+ years my parents have been married and they have had a great marriage. I think it is nice when a man does it and it can be confusing when you first meet someone as it's usually one of the things I "check out" about them. But, most men will mention their wife soon enough and then there is no question.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

my hubby isn't a jewelry-wearing type of guy, but he still wears his wedding ring! he just has a plain band, even though i'd love for him to have one that matches mine, he refuses to wear anything with diamonds lol!
i definitely think giving excuses for not wearing a wedding ring is bul****! it's an unspoken reminder, and a statement to everyone who sees it.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

If wedding rings are no big deal (like some mentioned earlier) than why have them in the wedding ceremony...why buy them to begin with? It's a symbol of love and fidelity. It's a committment to your spouse.
I guess it depends on the mutual feelings between husband and wife. If the husband doesn't want to wear his...and her feelings aren't hurt by that....than she should be able to stop wearing hers too.....how would he feel about that? Her not wearing her engagement and wedding ring? If both parties are cool with that...than that's all that matters.

But if one party's feelings are hurt, the other should wear the ring out of respect for his/her spouse's feelings. It's just a little ring -- it's not a ball and chain!! (like some are making it sound like!)

If it were a Super Bowl ring, all men would agree to wear that sucker and show it off to their buddies! But a wedding ring....'oh no...it bothers me.'; "it gets in the way."

My husband is not a big jewelry wearer. But he's a Texas A&M Aggie graduate and Aggies love to wear their (huge!) college rings for life. And he does -- but he takes that Aggie ring off at night after work....the wedding ring stays on all the time (except for showers). We both wear ours out of respect and love to each other -- we love to show and tell the world of our love and committment to each other!
Why would you want that hidden?

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

My father-in-law lost his once many years ago, and never replaced it because he can't wear it at work anyway.

It just depends on the guy and the situation. For the most part though, men don't attach all these emotions and sentiments to objects and symbols like women do. :-)

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

It bugs me. I don't think it's right. It's an outward symbol of the love and commitment of his marriage. I can see that it might feel strange to wear one if he is not used to of wearing rings but hey it's one of the many transitions that is part of being married. :)
How about a tattooed ring instead?
I mean how many men do you meet and they introduce themselves as married? It's a way to for people to tell their marital stasis without saying anything.
C.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

If there are not any extenuating circumstances (can't wear at work, fingers swell,...), then I want my DH to wear his. We spent a lot of money on them, why not wear it? I just like that outward sign of commitment.

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W.P.

answers from Houston on

Dear A.:
IMHO it is not limited to men and varies by person. My ex-wife started taking it off to go out to "meet more interesting people". Three months later she cheated. I put my ring on at the wedding and did not take it off once until the day I found out.

A colleague of mine does not have a ring, but I don't think he "uses" that to cheat. A friend of mine takes it off at work and does not cheat for sure. Likewise, a man who wants to cheat can take it off regularly during the day to avoid the stripe and wear it in front of you.

If you want to know for sure, make him wear a ring with a built-in GPS.

But if you ask yourself that question, your gut is probably trying to tell you something, and it's usually right.

Regards,
W.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

If a man does not wear a ring, but tells everyone he married why would we think anything else about it. My husband does not wear a ring to work because he is always having to wash his hands. I am sure when clients meet him they might asume he is not married, but if they ask he will tell them he is so what is the big deal?

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R.C.

answers from San Angelo on

I know this posted a while back, but I had to add my two cents worth.

With my first marriage, I wore a ring all the time I had one, and he had to buy one to wear, but he didn't wear it all the time...and mostly didn't using the excuse that his finger could get torn off being a mechanic and doing other work in the oilfield. When the marriage started turning abusive, I quit wearing mine too because I didn't feel married to him anymore and didn't WANT to be married to him. Yes, I cheated on him with the man I'm now married to, but my husband now is an old friend I've known longer than my ex. Not that that's an excuse, but as I said, the first marriage was abusive anyway, and I was looking for a way out. My current husband was telling me that while on the truck that my ex (they worked together, lol) flirted with waitresses at truckstops and nearly took one out of state with him but she backed out.

Well, my husband now wears his all the time as do I, and I can't say how much it means to me after all I went through with my ex. Since I'm wife number 4 for my husband and he tells me that he didn't wear a ring for the others, it means that much more to me.

It all depends on the people. Some have a problem with it, and others don't. It's a matter of security for me. My marriage now is absolutely great. The only regret I have is that we didn't get together sooner, but we're together now!

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have been married nearly 14 years...My husband has always worked in situations where it was dangerous to wear a ring...wear a ring vs. losing a finger.

Since have my kids my fingers have grown (not the only parts of me LOL), and I can't wear mine.

I really don't think about it. I am confident in my marriage and we are just not jealous people. As far as meeting anyone.. I never look be it man or woman. Not sure if it is because I am not in the "market" or it is just not one of those things I look for. I generally look at someone's eyes when I talk to them, so I don't notice hands.

I guess if it is someone I just met on the street then I would have to ask if they are married, and why would I care. In a work environment, most likely I would already know they are married and wouldn't think to check for a ring.

If someone is up to no good, ring or not, it isn't going to matter.That goes for the hubby not wearing it or the person checking out for one. Rings can come on and off too. If he isn't wearing it around you, I wouldn't worry about it. If you pick about something like this, you make yourself crazy and generally push the person you love away.

I got the funniest joke in email the other day... The husband came home drunk from being out with the boys, woke up the next morning not remembering anything to a clean house, note from the wife, breakfast cooked for him, etc,when he really figured he would be in the dog house. He asked his son what was up... and his son said, you came home threw up everywhere, mom had to clean you up, it was yuck...and the man said, well why is she being so nice... the son said, well when mom tried to undress you, you fought her telling her to leave you alone you were married! LOL

Point of story, she was happy that even smashed he knew he was married. You are married in your heart, the ring isn't going to keep you honest...it is what is in your heart...

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H.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think its a big deal. My hubby has hardly ever worn his b/c his fingars swell (his mom is the same way) I don't wear any rings to work either, I work in a hospital and its just not sanitary.

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

My husband does not wear his and I don't wear mine. We don't see it as a big deal!

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

I don't see it as a big deal. My husband lost his our first year of marriage (and I lost mine and have since replaced it), and his aunt gave him one we need to get sized to fit that was his grandfathers I believe, something like that. But we haven't done it yet.

Funny story, shortly after he lost it (sometime within the year) he was at a concert with friends, had a few drinks, and when someone hit on him he held up his bare hand and announced he was married. I bet she thought it was just an excuse and it makes me laugh every time I think of it.

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N.S.

answers from Dallas on

My husband is a nurse and doesn't wear his to work for what I think are valid reasons. When we go out on his days off he does wear it. I don't wear mine usually because it doesn't fit anymore and can't be resized. I don't have any other 'nice' jewelry though and I'm not a jewelry person so that doesn't bother me either. I wonder if people think a woman who doesn't wear her wedding ring is 'looking to cheat'. LOL

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hey, A.,

I think more of it has to do with the man's attitude than the ring. My husband doesn't wear his more often than he does. And, even though it's not what you're asking, I don't wear mine often, either.

C.

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

My husband no longer wears his ring because it does not fit anymore (too small). However, he will not buy a new one or try to have the old one enlarged. This drives me crazy, especially since he does not see it as a big deal at all. He says he just doesn't like to wear jewelry and it interferes with work (he has to wear exam gloves.) I trust him, but it really does make me feel bad.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

My dh of 10 years doesn't wear his either. It kinda bothers me since he crappy excuse of being an electrician was blown to bits when I noticed ALL his married co-workers wear theris , LOL! SO here was our compromise: He had his ring tattooed on. Cant forget, it and iit certainly doesn't get in his way! hee hee.....

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C.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Mine tried to wear his for about 2 years and then finally took it off. It just bugs him to wear it. I finally decided it wasn't a big deal and I trust him.

Now my ex had stopped wearing his saying it bugged him too, but he was able to wear a ring his mom gave him on the other hand? So of course when my 2nd husband told me his bugged him it made me nervous! But, I'm in a much better relationship and I know he's not doing it to appear single. We are 8 years strong now. :)

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I actually don't like when my husband wears his ring. Unless he is with me then it is okay. The thing is that most women are attracted to married men. I have come to find out that he gets hit on more if he is wearing it. Unless of course I am right next to him. So I only like when he wears it if we go out as a couple. As far as a having a co worker that doesn't wear one and is married, I think if he let's everyone know about his family or that he is married then it really doesn't matter.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have been with my husband 22 yrs (almost 19 of those married). In the beginning, he did wear a ring but 12 yrs ago he had a horrible car accident (almost died) and his finger was almost severed due to the ring.

He has never worn a ring again and I don't think twice about it. We both know that we will be together and are secure enough in our relationship not to let something like a ring make a difference.

Just my opinion but then we are very open minded.

Susan

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M.S.

answers from Houston on

My husband only wears his when he's around me, then when caught without it makes excuses the he" lost it" then he says he didn't lose it in the next sentence. I see this as he is cheating or looking to cheat, so I told him either get our rings tattooed on or were getting a divorce, so we will see what happens, if he doesn't get it then I know he's cheating or looking to!!

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K.D.

answers from Houston on

In general you never know with people. I dont think very much about it, because men who do cheat do wear wedding bands. That said my father didnt wear his for years, it was damaged and there just wasnt enough money to have it repaired.

My advice is to go with your gut, its seldom wrong.

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G.F.

answers from Houston on

My husband only wears his when we are going out together. It did bother me some at first but he has a valid reason. He is a police officer and doesn't want the bad guys to know that he has a family because they do track down the officers and taking out his family would hurt him worse than if they killed him. Some of his co-workers wear rings and some don't. It just depends on if they think it will happen to them. Personally, my husband is paranoid, but when it affects me and my daughter's safety I could care less. He comes home to me every night and that is what matters.

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