Who Has the Mother in Laws Ring on Their Finger?

Updated on February 14, 2012
N.N. asks from Ecorse, MI
20 answers

I lost my ring several months ago and my husband is still very angry. He upgraded my ring on our 2nd anniversary.
One day while cleaning the house I noticed that it was loose on my finger and the next day I looked down it was gone!

My husband mother is deceased and I would love for him to give me her ring. It was given to him by his dad who is now remarried. We celebrated our 4th anniversary last week and he took me shopping to look for another ring :( I guess he will not take chance on my losing my mother in laws ring.
I would love to have it and I understand how special it is.

Did your husband give you his mother or grandmother's wedding ring?

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So What Happened?

To Theresa: Yes he is aware.

Featured Answers

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Nope - and I wouldn't want it either.

I did however have a ring guard on my diamond and they work wonders!

4 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Nope. My MIL still has hers and so does his grandmother. Both his mother/father and grandmother/grandfather were alive and well when we got married. My ring is gorgeous and I'm glad it's "mine"! My sister got a family ring--it was also quite beautiful--and that marriage didn't last. Her former MIL wanted her to sign a pre-nup for the ring--even mentioned it at the rehearsal dinner. My sis gladly gave the ring back when the marriage ended (and heard it was given to the next wife--that's just weird!)

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Well, I do have my deceased MIL's bridal set, not on my finger of course since I'm divorced, but in a plastic baggy in my jewelry box. It was given to me because at the time of her death, my daughter was the only granddaughter.

And so I'll just pass it on to her in a few years. It's gorgeous, and HUGE, and set in platinum.

When we got married, my husband used his father's wedding ring, who died before our wedding, with his mother's blessings. But my husband (grudgingly) bought a set for me. Which now also sits gathering dust in my jewelry box. If one of the kids want to use it, that's fine with me. It, too, is a beautiful expensive set.

I'm sorry about your ring. I do vaguely remember your posting about it. Did you ever try to file a homeowner's insurance claim for it?

Does he KNOW you'd be honored to wear his mother's ring?

:)

5 moms found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

My ring is my MIL's grandmother's ring. It's not really mine, it will go to my son if he wants it for his wife. If he doesn't it will go to my nephew, if he doesn't want it we'll hold on to it till their sons are old enough to get married.

I love it, it's very unique. The band is mine, we had it made to match the ring and it will stay with me when/if the ring passes down - I'll have a new ring made to fit the band in that event.

Side note - my MIL told me at my wedding reception (after quite a bit of wine, lol) that if we ever got divorced SHE got the ring back. Good thing I love her, lol. However, now that I've worn it for almost 12 years, I can understand where she was coming from. If ds takes the ring for his fiancee I'll be telling her the same thing.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you mentioned it to him? He might not realize you would want to wear it...

Just saw your SWH, oops!

I also want to add - I lost my wedding ring. I was handwashing clothes and the water was very cold so it must have slipped right off. At least you are not alone :/

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

My MIL is living, but never had an engagment ring. Their marriage was a second marriage for both. She would want to be buried in her band. My husband's grandmother had a small diamond that was passed on to her oldest grandson. He had that stone set into a necklace for his daughter, not for his wife. Ended up being a good choice... divorced and both are now remarried.

My mother will give my son her engagement ring when he's ready to propose. Lucky little guy... and girl! It's beautiful and she has already told us that he can do whatever he wants with the stones in her ring- she's had them reset at least twice.

My grandmother left her engagement ring to my cousin with the stipulation that should he and his wife divorce, my husband has the first opportunity to buy it from him. His wife loves the ring and I doubt they will divorce, but it was something that my grandmother wanted to make quite clear. The ring stays in the family, no matter what!

Who knows... maybe he will give you the ring. Odds are pretty good right now that he's a little annoyed and hurt that you lost the original ring- men are really proud of those and their ability to buy you one. Tell him outright that you would rather wear his mother's ring than another store-bought one and see what happens!

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you told him you wanted his mother's ring? If not, do.

No, I don't have my MIL's ring. She died in 2006 and I don't know what happened to it.

While I understand your husband is upset over the loss of your ring. If it was valuable - i would contact my insurance company for a loss claim. My jewelry is covered on a rider under our home owners insurance.

I would tell him what I want. I would tell him NOT to hold something from the past (even recent) over my head - marriage isn't about score keeping. Get his mother's ring sized for YOUR finger. If it is loose in the future. Take it off and take it to a jeweler.

3 moms found this helpful
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E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Did you tell him how much it would mean to you to wear that other ring?

3 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

When my now ex husband and I got married, my mom had given me my great grandmas anniversary band. It was a wide solid gold band that my great grandpa had given to her on their 60th anniversary. We had a custom engagement ring made to go with it. Now that we are divorced, we have a son and daughter together and I'm saving those rings for them. My ex husbands mom didn't have any nice jewlery at all and in fact, back in the day when they had some financial problems, she sold her wedding set to try to save their home.

My new husband bought both my engagement and wedding ring. His mom never gave him anything and I don't think she has nice jewlery either, come to think of it. And she and his dad were never married so that wasn't a great situation either. =/

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

My ring is not from MIL, it is a very unique diamond, old cut that my FIL creceived from a client who sold high end diamonds when he did their accounting years ago (40+ yrs). The guy who sold diamonds died and his wife offered some of the diamonds to my FIL. Of course he got the most unique, largest one of a kind she offered.

When FIL died about 2 yrs after we married, my husband received the diamond and he had it set for me. It is solitaire and it stands on its own so he did not put additional stones with it... that would diminish the beauty of the stone and probably look gaudy. I pay about $1000 a year to insure it.

It will go to my daughter when I die and hopefully will continue to pass through the family.

I can understand your husband's lack of desire to give something so special to you. I know if something happened to this ring, it could never, ever be replaced. I am very protective of it.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

No, that would be too personal for me. My MIL is also deceased and my FIL is remarried. I have no idea what happened to her wedding jewelry but my husband doesn't have any of it. My FIL did give me a strand of her pearls as a gift, and I wore that at our wedding and wear them for special occasions. Wearing her wedding ring though? Not something that would sit right with me for some reason. I think that maybe it would be something to pass along to a daughter or daughter-in-law someday (and maybe have re-set). Sounds like your husband wants to get you a ring that *he* provided to *you* and I can't really fault him for that.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

No, he did not give me his mother or grandmother's ring. Had he offered I wouldn't have wanted them. His mother is still alive and was only recently widowed. We married almost 14 years ago.

Loose = not tight
Lose = can't find it

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

No and I wouldn't want it. My MIL had one horrible marriage, and I wouldn't want any part of it.

Plus I love the fact that my husband knows my love of diamonds and gladly obliges - though each time he swears "It's the last time I'm buying them!"

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I as wearing my mother's wedding ring when I met my husband...my father was deceased. I was tired of getting hit on, so I wore the ring, which she had given to me. My now husband was a true gentleman and asked if I was married and if I wasn't if I would go out with him. A keeper right for the start. When we got engaged we had an matching engagement ring made as my sister was given the engagement ring.

1 mom found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

I don't have my mil's ring, that is going to his sister. But I do have and wear my great grandma's ring on my right hand. My grandma gave me her wedding rings for my daughter right before she passed away.

She gave me strict instructions that I give my great grandma's rings to my first grand daughter and her rings ( that will go to my daughter) goes to her grand daughter... so the rings will be passed down to the first born girl of the family of every other generation. Not sure what is going to happen if there is all boys and no girls :)

I would talk to your husband and ask him about his mom's rings and see what his feelings are on it and let him know how much it would mean to you to be able to wear them.

** I don't even wear my wedding rings on my ring finger. I have his name tattooed on my ring finger. I have lost weight since we were married and my rings dont fit on my ring finger so I wear them on my left middle finger.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I just got my "upgrade" last August to celebrate our 25th anniversary. Hubby was so proud of himself and its a hell of a ring! Lots of bling (yes, I'm a diamonds kind of a gal). I am saving my original set for my son if he is interested. If not, then I'm going to make it into something else. It has several diamonds in it as well and well waste not want not! :)

Talk to your husband about the ring. Be ready for him to tell you no and don't get your feelings hurt if he does.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Yes, I have my husband's mother's ring. His mother died when he was young and his father saved it for him and gave it to him when we got engaged. He wasn't sure that he wanted me to wear it 'as is' so we looked for other settings to put the stone in, but ended up keeping it in the original setting. I liked it the way it was and am glad we kept it this way.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I have the diamonds from my husbands grandmother's ring...he designed a new setting and added two additional stones to the larger diamond and also filled it in with the smaller ones from her ring. Love it. Love the fact that it has been in the family for so long.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

I have my husband's grandmother's diamond from her engagement ring. He got it because he was her first grandson to marry. We had it re-set. I love that it has such sentimental value and it immediately made me feel welcome into the family. No one ever mentioned that if we broke up they wanted the ring back, but I would have certainly offered it, seeing how it's an heirloom.

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Nope, and I wouldn't want it either. I don't feel like it's my husband's to give. But I would think that would be more of a 10 year anniversary thing. I worked at a fine jewelers and most people don't upgrade on the first anniversary, they usually wait until 5, 10, 25 hallmark anniversary years to do it.

My dad died about a year before my husband and I married. My mom offered my husband the option of using my dad's ring, but we declined and just thought it may be a little awkward, plus I knew my mom would feel ownership and an emotional attachment to it.

1 mom found this helpful
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