Single Mom Need Advice

People should want to support their child . No one parent should have to ask them to help out financially. If that non custodial parent really loved the child they would be around and would want to provide money for the child without being asked. Its showing love, thats all. Its being a true parent to the end, no matter what. Actions speak louder than words. My daughter's father never wanted to be the responsible parent right from the get-go, I should of saw it in the beginning, it took me up until my daughter was 14 mts old until I wised up. He's been charged twice once in 96 and the other in 2000 something with non support of a minor felony charge, I can't force him to help raise our 12 yr. old daughter. He's in hiding, refuses to let us know where he's living, cuz he knows he'll be arrested again. He's missed out on years, he just refuses to support her and show her he really loves her. Its sad.

L.,
Please go to the court system. You not only deserve help, you need the money. I don't know what county you are in, but I've had continual help with Macomb County Friend of the Court. You have to keep up with them though. Let them do all the work, but you are most definitely entitled. If you should have medical/dental bills for your daughter, he has to pay them. As a child grows older the expenses are greater. He has great insurance coverage through Ford's & should be covering her. Trust me, I let it go & was downright foolish. Women do not earn the same as men, so let him pay. At first, you'll feel uneasy, but later you'll feel much better about it. You're going to need that help for school, cars, college & we like to think we can do it alone, but take what you can-she deserves it.
K.

Being in a situation where I'm with the Father and paying the child support to the Ex, I like to think I see it from a different angle. I completely agree that a Father should pay support to the Mother to take care of his child. If you have a "good" relationship with him and you are able to communicate with him and it not end up in an arguement talk to him and tell him that you need more financial help with your daughter. Express your concerns to him with regards to him not wanting to see your Daughter anymore, and also that you want to be able to work this out without using the courts. Men hate the Friend of the Court and will do almost anything to avoid having to deal with them. Please keep in mind that if it does end up in court the courts base child support off of a shared economic formula in most cases (in case you don't know what that is...it's based on how much you make as well as him and they try to equal it out) They also go off of the Custody Agreement. If you have both full physical and legal custody you will get more money. Visitation time for him also determines how much he has to pay. If he chooses not to excerise his visitation then you report it to the FOC. If you go on the Macomb County Friend of the Court website there is a calculator to give you and estimate on what your child support payments would be. ( you may have to download the program) You will have to know his income etc., but it's self explainitory and user friendly. I suggest you "do your homework" with everything and present your side and your concerns to him. Make your choice based on his response. I hope this has helped you in some way and I wish you all the luck in the world with what you choose to do.
~Kim

I don't know where to start. I have a mildly Autistic 16 year old son. When he was a baby and we knew that something was different about him. His father stepped out of his life. I turned him in to child support and still didn't get anything. I've struggled alone without help from his father. I've asked him to help me with Christmas so many times and it never happens. I have to put lay away's in months before christmas. Just for him to have a Christmas.

L.,

He is her father and has a duty to provide her support, especially if he is financially able. If he choses not to see her because it upsets him, that is his decision and though it may upset her, it is NOT your fault.

Be prepared if you go to friend of the court, that he may WANT more custody time and you will have to let him.