Question on Using Family Names

Updated on November 28, 2007
J. asks from Minneapolis, MN
19 answers

We are trying to find a name for our 2nd born son. I am due in Jan. and can't believe I don't have a name yet. We had a girls name picked out and ready to go - but the ultrasound revealed it is a boy. So...now to pick a boys name.

One of the names I really like also happens to be my husbands middle name. He wonders if that is bad to use for our sons first name. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Not sure we'll use it, but just want to know what kind of responses we'll get from people that also know my husbands middle name. He wants to know if by using it it makes him look boastful or proud or whatever else you want to call it for using part of his name.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the kind words. I didn't see a problem with it, but thought I better get a few opinions before making my decision. My husband actually went through a period where he thought it would be fun to go by his middle name - but he never did. So I know he'd love to use it for his child.

Thanks again!

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think that is perfect! There is meaning behind the name and it is an honor to be named after a family member. Go for it!
S.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think that is weird at all. Atleast it would have some meaning behind it.

My mom's middle name and my middle name match and I could have done the same thing to my daughter but thought it was boring so I changed things up a bit. My daughter's initials picked by her dad are BMW which doesn't fit us at all were not into higher end things were just normal everyday people.But her dad thought it would be amusing to do that.

Just go with what you like and forget about what people will think.

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D.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My oldest son's name is David Curtis (14 years). His first name is his dad's middle name and his middle name is in memory of his dad's best friend. As far as I know nobody thought it was odd and even if they did we wouldn't have cared. My son enjoy's having been named after his dad but not being a jr. or a second. I say if you like it go for it.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

using a family name is a neat thing to do...my daughter and i have the same middle name and my other daughter has the same middle name as her aunt. do whatever feels right without regards to what people think.

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J.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hello J.,

My husband and I also struggled with boy names and we used my husband's middle name for our son's name. If both of you like the name, why not use it?

J.

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hey, J.. I'm not a big fan of naming kids directly after their parents, like so-and-so Jr. But I think using your husband's middle name as a first name is a great idea. For both our kids (and planning names for #3), we've used non-family names for first names and family names for middle. That's worked well for us, because we like family references in the names. I never thought to look to our middle names for first names, but I think that's a great way to incorporate family names or traditions without directly naming them after you.

Congratulations!

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think using a part of the fathers name is fine to do.
I, myself, don't like the whole Jr thing...but part of the name is different. My husbands family used part of mom and dad's name in the oldest two kids (middle names), but when it came time to my husbands name, he got the two grandfathers names as his first and middle.

My husband and I gave our oldest his dad's first name as his middle name.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think using family names is wonderful. Both my children have biblical names for the first name (they both mean "gift from God" which they were, and when they were little in church to keep them quiet I let them look through the bible to find their names. They were quite proud of that.) My son has my father's name for his middle name, and my daughter has her father's mother's name for a middle name. Their namesakes were always special -- and visaversa.
Now my daughter is pregnant with her first son. She wanted to name him Anthony Michael--which was okay until you put it with their last name, which starts with "Y". I told her I didn't really think she wanted her son to go through life with the initials "AMY". Although I suggested she talk with her cousin that has the initials "ARF". I also suggested that she name him Anthony Robert-Michael -- which would give him the initials "ARMY" -- since her husband is now in the Army. She didn't really like that idea, though.

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C.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't think it's a bad idea to use your husband's middle name for your son's name, as long as you both like it and are okay with it. It's possible that someone may see it as "boastful" or "proud", but that's just their opinion and it doesn't mean they're right ;)

I thought about incorporating my husband's name into our son's - using a form of his middle name as the first name, and his first name as the middle name, but my husband didn't like that idea, so we didn't. He's not too keen on having his father's name as his middle name and I don't think he wanted our son to end up growing up feeling the same. But that's just us...and now that I think about it, my son's name is the same as one of my husband's brother's middle names, but that really has nothing to do with why we picked it. It was just a name we both liked and agreed on :)

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H.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

When we had our son we didn't have a first name until 5 hours after he was born but I had already picked out a middle name, it's his fathers middle name. I wanted him to always have a part of his father with him. So giving your son his fathers middle name as his first name should be a very very good thing. My husband is very proud that his son has his middle name they have something more in common and it is a good way to bond. I would say that it would make your husband seem proud, what is there to be more proud of than your child? And one day when you and your husband have passed your son will always have a part of his father with him, then he will be very proud to carry that name.

Good Luck

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Actually my husband's middle name was what he always wanted to use for his son's first name, so that's what we did...Jacob. It was his grandfathers name who passed away when he was little so wanted to keep that name in the family so obviously I see no reason to not do it unless your husband just isn't fond of the name...maybe that is why he is hesitant.
K.

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G.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

okay, call me crazy, but why wouldn't you use your husbands middle name for your childs first name!?
Your husband should be proud to name his son after his namesake. I don't think it's boastful at all!
My 1st son has my husbands middle name which is also his grandpa's 1st name and his great grandpa's name as well.
It is a 'family' name.
my 2nd son has my dad's 1st name as his middle name.
and my 3rd son has his dad's 1st name as his middle name.
It's a way of honoring the men in the family before you.
THink of it as an honor and not 'boastful'.
good luck.

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T.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think it would be fine to use your husband's middle name - especially if it's a name you like. It's a "family name" which is perfectly acceptable without being boastful.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I like incorporating family names and I think it will give your son a sense of pride and belonging. I think using your husband's middle name as a first name is a great idea and won't result in confusion because they won't have the same first name. I reluctantly talked my husband into using his first name as our older son's middle name. My husband likes the middle name to be something appropriate the child can use as a first name later in life if for some reason they don't like their given first name. I think my husband is happy with the choice now. For our second son's middle name we went with "Jonathan"--a combination of John, my husband's grandpa, and Nathan, my husband's middle name. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I personally love the idea of using family names. I agree that it's an honor, not boastful. Something that further bonds family members. My first son has his Grandpa's first name as a middle name (the same middle name as his dad and several boys in the extended family). My second son has my dad's first name as a middle name, as does my brother. So, there's a little kinship among the men & boys. Then the first names are biblical in meaning and go together on their own. I'd say do what means the most to you, and what sounds good together.

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well I guess what I had to say has alreayd been said numerous times, but its the meaning behind the name that counts. My sons father did not want his name in our sons so that was not an issue. (I tried because I liked the name). So I think if you are both for it...GO FOR IT!!

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's your kid so do what you need to and what feels right for you. Don't let others make you feel anything. It's none of their business. I think it's normal for men to have a son with the same exact name as the Dad so using the middle name is not a big deal. Who uses their middle name anyway? Most people don't know the middle names of others, you know? My Dad and brother have the same exact name but my brother goes by a nickname. My middle name is Lynn and my first daugther has lynn in her first name and my second daughter has lynn in her middle name. I think you should use it and is an honor to the Dad to pass such a blessing of a name along. It's meaningful. Maybe your son will us the name too when he grows up:) I think it's a great idea.

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E.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

We've named both of our children after family. I don't think it's boastful at all...your child will be grateful for a meaningful name.

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L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think using a parent's middle name is a lovely and special way to create that family connection without it seeming like you want a "mini me." I don't think there are any negative connotations with doing so. I say go for it!

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