What Are Your Thoughts on Middle Names?

Updated on February 25, 2011
N.R. asks from Chicago, IL
54 answers

My sister and I were discussing it and so I thought i'd like to get some opinions on the subject.

Should a child have a middle name that was chose because the parent liked it, or should a child have a middle name after a family member, special person etc.

I feel like some people i've met pick names that "flow' and they like and others use sisters/brothers/parents/best friends names as middle names for their children.

What would/did you do?

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

We do middle names as tributes, and first names as parental choice. My son has 2 middle names... one from each side of the family.

I don't think there's a should, involved, however. Just what we do. I like it better than the other option of first and second names being tribute names. I like for a child to have their OWN name. :)

4 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Anything goes. My son's middle name is Azlan because I thought it was a cool name and kinda Middle Eastern, which is part of his heritage. My older daughter's middle name is Victoria, after her paternal grandmother. And my youngest's is Grace because it sounded so lovely with her first name. There are no rules, anything you want is perfectly fine.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think there are any rules involved. It's totally up to the parents and whether they want to continue a tradition or just pick what they like. My parents didn't even give us middle names. I just used my confirmation name. Then when I got married I made my maiden name my middle name. All 3 of my kids have my maiden name as their middle name. The name wasn't continued in my family so I thought I would do it that way.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

We used my husband's mom's middle name and I hate it. He caught me in a moment of weakness (he asked right after my emergency c-section when I was so doped up I couldn't stay awake). My daughter's name is Sofia, and if I had my way, she would be Sofia Lynn (my middle name) or Sofia Marie, because I like the way the sound better than Sofia Ines. My great-grandfather named all his kids after people he liked, so my grandmother was Isabel Biterman Barnes. Until, Ms. Biterman upset my great-grandfather and they renamed my grandmother Isabel Madison Barnes. Do what ever you want. That's what I intend to do with the next kid we have.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i think a nice mix of both is ideal. but it depends on your preference. if you really want uncle stuart's name included but it doesn't flow as well as you like, it depends on how badly you want it. my son ended up with a family name (on hubby's side) i did not like too much...but it's family. so i agreed. it wasn't octavius or anything :)

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It is really up to the person or tradition or culture in their family.

Us, we choose middle names, per the 'meaning' of the name and what we liked.
It is their own middle name, not named after relatives.
It is special.
And it also flows nicely with their first and last names.

Our kids names (first and middle) are named after our cultures. 2 different cultures/ethnicity. Which is also very common here in Hawaii.

Personally, I would not want to name my kids, after 'favorite' friends/relatives etc. I would want my kids to have their own, identity and specialness with their names.

My kids love their names. It is special to them. We told them the 'meanings' of their names.

all the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

Both of ours had meaning and flowed. We chose first names that we like, then found family names that sounded best as middle names. We never had a girl, but knew we wanted my husband's Grandmother's name to be the middle, so we chose a first name that flowed. I guess this doesn't help! It's your child, do it the way you want!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

We just picked names that we liked. My family is Jewish, so there is no tradition of naming after live people. Giving a middle name in honor of a loved one is really no different than giving a first name in someone's honor. My daughter's first name is one I liked (it came from a song) and my son's was chosen in honor of my uncle (in the Jewish tradition of naming for a deceased relative)

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ok, so this is how we did it...
We picked her name...a total of 4 because we gave her both of our last names. My dad never called the baby by the name we chose, he picked his own. My dad had this weird thing with initials....him, my brothers and I all have the same initials.
When I was 32 weeks pregnant my dad passed away. Broke my heart. I heard the name he chose for her sooooooo much that it only seemed kind of funny and a tribute to give her the names he wanted, BUT on the other hand, as soon as we heard it was a girl in the sonogram we knew what her name would be. Exactly 4 weeks to the day my dad died, I delievered....
Thats what really sealed the deal...to the day.
I gave her all six names.
Now let me tell you I get a lot of flack for my decision...but she is MY child, and each and every single one of her names, including her last names mean something and are extremely personal to us.
That's exactly what I feel a child's name should be....personal to you in some way. If you like the meaning, the way it sounds, the fact that its been in your family for generations, or after a loved one....it's your choice and means something.
I love my childs name, and wouldn't have it any other way. ;)

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

We chose to honor each of our fathers with the middle name. We went with Irish First Names (Finnegan and Seamus) and the middle names are a bit more traditional. So if for some reason later in life, they don't like their first names (which as their mother, I just can't imagine 'wink wink') they would have a more traditional name to go with.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.W.

answers from Miami on

In our family we all have family names as our middle names. It isn't usually the immediate grandparents/parents that we name after but we go back generations. My brother has traced our family history WAAAAAYYY back so the next generation will have something lovely to cherish. Our kids middle names are all lovely old-fashioned names which I love. There middle names are James, David, Elliott, Robert, Edward, Mae. :-) I think middle names are a nice tribute to family. :-)

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Either way is fine but ideally both are great. If I had to pick one over the other, I would pick a name that flowed over naming after someone because my child has to end up living with the name and I would hope they would like their name. The person they would be named after may or may not mean as much to them as they do/did to me.

My husband's middle name is the same as his maternal grandfather's middle name. I don't care for the name. We neither one ever met his grandfather (he died about a month before my hubby was born). When I was expecting, he wanted a junior if it was a boy. I wanted a different name (not a junior) so I came up with a compromise that he found agreeable. First name was the one I wanted with a middle name of his other grandfather who had past away a few years before that we were both close to and it flowed better with than the other with his name or the name I wanted.

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

In our family the first son's middle name is the same as their dad's middle name....other than that we have no rules...

So as far as middle names go we have:
David
James
Shay
Brodie
Quinn

My sister did 2 middle names, one from the Dad's side one from her side, so she has:
Michael-Edward
Zackary-Allen

1 mom found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Our first son's middle name is my husband's grandfather's middle name. Our second son's middle name is my father-in-law's middle name. Our third son (assuming the ultrasound imaging was as clear as it looked--he's due to arrive in a few weeks) will be the middle name of a musician my husband and I both really like. We couldn't come up with a family name we liked that did not have inappropriate initials with the first name we picked.

For first names (I know you didn't ask, but still...) our first son is named after a progressive metal musician, our second is named after a knight in Arthurian legend (and I just love the name), and the third first name we picked is an Irish saint. We love names and naming, meaning, and sound, so we have always had a lot of fun looking at all aspects of naming our children and never felt like we had to pick names based on family or "flow" exclusively. We would not have used the family names we've used if we didn't also like them with the first names we picked. =)

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J.J.

answers from Toledo on

We chose middle names that just sounded good with the first names we chose for our three girls. For our son, we both wanted him to have my husband's name, but didn't want a junior or second. We gave our son my husbands first name as his middle name.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.R.

answers from Tulsa on

The middle name should be whatever the parents want. If the kid has a problem with it they will change it later.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

Ours is a bit of a twist. The first born son gets a set first name while the middle name is open to whatever. In my case I told my DH that he could pick whatever middle name as long as he agreed to let me use our family first name when we had a boy.
Most times with our family in the boys that carry the family name have a middle name that flows with the first name. Even though in some cases when you first say the names together they don't seem like they flow. Oddly enough they do. With our second son we had a harder time with names because we were hoping for a girl. But we picked a name that flowed with the first name.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

There is no "should" when naming babies, except that parents should name their babies whatever they want to name them.

My daughter has two middle names - one was both my grandmother and her father's mother's name. The other is after my best friend. And they sound good together.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

I used family names for both of my children's middle names...but I don't think there is any right or wrong way of choosing a child's middle name. If you love it use it!

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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I dont think its a matter of what it 'should' be, but for what the moment calls for. My mother named the oldest boy after what she though was my father only to learn many years later that my father never had a middle name and what was thought to be ( because he used it) was his confirmation name, not legal name. LOL! The rest of us 3 girls have names she liked and the youngest another boy, has a middle name that was after a neighbor of ours. My father was very close to him and admired him as a man & father. So I think it just depends.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

We did both... Our daughter's middle name was selected because it went well with her first name. Our son's middle name is Daddy's first name - mainly because we liked the way the two names sounded together.
We thought about using names that would be "after" family members, but there were issues between our two families that discouraged us from doing so.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

my daughters middle name is rae. my husbands name is ray and my great grandmothers middle name was rae. i wanted to honor both in my daughters name so i did. my daughters name flows well and is very femanine and strong. her name is jaiden rae. i also picked a name that she wouldnt get teased for :)

i think its always nice to honor a family name as a middle. my next daughter will have a name after my husbands cousin's wife. i just love her name and want to use it (just the first name of course). but when we have a boy i think ill give into my husbands want to name the baby after him.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

My husbands first name is after all of the men in the first generation in the family.. James.. His middle name was a name his mom loved.

My names were just names my mom and dad liked in English and Spanish.
My sister was named after my fathers beloved cousin who was killed in a terrible accident. No middle name.

My mothers family does not have middle names. It is kind of neat because their middle names are their maiden names.. My fathers family also never had middle names. I was the first one.

Our daughters first name is after a very special friend and her middle name was decided right after she was born. We had 2 different names in mind. We decided we needed to meet her to know which name actually suited her. It is perfect for her. The other name was based on a good character (Anne of Green Gables) but she is not an Anne. Our daughter loves her middle name.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

we chose family names that we liked and fit well with the first names. There were some family names(like Bruno) that we wouldn't' use because we didn't like them(the name!). But, for the most part, we had a pretty good list of family names to choose from!
~C.

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F.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Useless, unless you hate your first name.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Our children have middle names after people. My son is named after his uncle who passed away when he was only 10 years old. My other son has a middle name after my father.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

We did both... for our daughter we chose names that we liked and that we felt sounded nice together. For our son we carried his family's traditional of naming the first son's middle name as the mother's (my) maiden name.

We dit not want to name after a family member because we felt someone would feel left out or hurt...

I think it just depends on your preferences and family traditions!

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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

There is no "should" when it comes to names, either first or middle. Do what you like. That being said, I like all names to have some sort of personal significance. Picking something out of a book just because I liked the way it sounded wasn't for me.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

For us, we chose middle names that were/are the name of a family member...but the names flow too. I wouldn't pick a family name if it didn't sound right to me.

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B.P.

answers from Chicago on

I have two girls, one has a family middle name, and one I just liked. I thinks it's up to you and how it flows with the first name.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I like names that flow. I always think how will that look on a letterhead? It is an additional plus if they have special meaning because of family.

My daughter is Samantha Marie. Marie was my husband's mother who passed away a year after I met my husband in college. Together the name means, "God heard Marie". I love that it means that.

My other two children are:
Mason Alexander (the two top choices my husband and I came up with for names; so we put them together.)

Colby Ryan (my husband liked the name Colby and I liked Ryan. We could not come to a consensus on what to name this child. So we took a name from his 'list' and a name from mine.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

We chose our daughters name in this order.

My husband and I agreed on the first name. My older daughter is named after my Mother so I thought it would be nice to name the second one after her Grandmother as well. There was no flow to the name, so we threw my Mother's name in there too and it worked. She has one first name, two middle names, and one last name. We felt the whole name flowed together quite well.

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S.D.

answers from Tampa on

Our 1st son's middle name was chosen because it was on the final list of names and flowed well with what became is first name. Our soon to be born 2nd son's middle name is a family name on both sides (men & women - so obviously he has the boy spelling). With our first son we were both against using it, but since the second will be our last, I wanted some kind of family name - if not from my side, then from both - since both boys obviously have the last name from DH's side :)

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A.F.

answers from Burlington on

My daughter (Sarah Katherine) got her name because I love both names and thought they sounded very pretty together. There are no Sarah's or Katherine's in our family. She's 100% unique! If she were a boy (we didn't know until she was born) she would have been William Scott, after her paternal and maternal grandfathers. I love my daughter's name and can't imagine any other!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have always said that the middle name is the name with the meaning. You also want to make sure it flows, but I have always found a first name to go with the middle name. With all 3 of my kids, I had the middle name picked out before I came up with the first name. You want the name to flow but it doesn't have to flow perfectly. Besides, the child is only called by their middle name when mom or dad is REALLY mad! LOL :)

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

I like the flow, but like there to be meaning too. We chose a middle name that would create the same initials as my husband and a name influenced by my Irish heritage with a meaning we felt described our son well (in utero)

It's just a matter of preference.

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

We agreed with what you're thinking! we chose a family name that flowed well with the first name we liked.

Our daughter's middle name is also my middle name, that was my grandma's name :)

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

All 3 of our kids have russian middle names after my grandfather/father/grandmother. Those are the names everyone on my side calls them . They do not "flow" at all. But they r special and it's all that matters to me:)

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I named my son (first name) after my late grandfather. He was the greatest man I have ever known. I was looking for something meaningful for my son's middle name. I looked through a few name books for something that flowed well with his first name, and that also had special meaning. I found a name I liked that means "Gift from God" (which is exactly what he is to me!).

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

There are religious traditions and family traditions to naming - and probably many others. No matter what, you should like the name, and if you are naming the person after a family member - make sure it's a family member you like :)

Otherwise, anything goes. My daughter's first name was my grandmother's, who was one of the most amazing people on the planet - IMO. Really, I wanted to use her name as my daughter's middle name because I felt it was a little too old-fashioned, but my husband and I couldn't agree on a first name. I had a c-section, and the entire time I was in the hospital we were calling my daughter "Blank Dorothy" blank, as in fill in the blank, we don't have a name for you yet. We ended up with Dorothy as a first name and came up with an unusual middle name that she won't use unless she decides to become a rock star - LOL. But we like it.

No one ever needs to know your middle name, unless you are one of those parents that will be shouting it when their child is in trouble to emphasize that fact :) Go with a name you like, one that flows well with the first and last names, if it has family meaning and that is important to you, great! but I don't think that's necessary.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son's middle name matches his Dad's middle name. We've always had middle names in our family but I'm not aware of any special rules about how they are picked.
In some familys, the wifes maiden name becomes her middle name when she marries and her birth middle name gets dropped.
I maintain a department Organization chart which includes people all over the world. Many people in India have up to seven middle names. It can be difficult to fit a whole name on the chart when they are that long.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I chose my maiden name for my daughter "Lucy Ryan"...But I also just loved the way it sounded...

Good Luck!

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

We did both!
For my oldest (boy), we picked a middle name that we both liked (and it flowed well with his first name).

For my youngest (girl), we chose to honor my mother who passed away when I was a teenager. It doesn't flow as well with my girl's first name, but I don't particularly care since it was something I really wanted to do and was very important to me.

If there's someone who has been an important part of your life, so much so that you would want to have his/her name associated with your child forever, go ahead and do it. (Interestsingly enough, my dad's original middle name on his birth certificate was after his uncle, who was going to be his godfather...then there was some sort of falling out over something stupid and my grandparents CHANGED my dad's name because they were mad!! They all eventually made up, but my dad's name never went back to the original.)

If you would rather have your kids have their own thing going on without being "tied" to someone else, go with something you like.

And if you find a name that you like AND it happens to belong to someone you care about = BONUS! :)

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

My first daughter has my pap's name as a middle name and my second daughter has my dad's name as a middle name plus another, more feminine middle name, just because I liked it. So, I did both.

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V.L.

answers from Chicago on

I've always thought that middle names were the child's baptismal name. Most people I'm aware of either gave the name of a loved one (grandmother, aunt, god-parent, etc.) or a Saint. It's a bonus if the name flows.

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Pick whatever you feel sounds good. We got our son's middle name from one of the street names here in Chicago. :) If we move away from here, we'll always remember where he was born.

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M.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

All three of my children have family names as middle names. I think it makes the name more special when you honor someone.

M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I love traditional names and names that are common. Like my daughters name is SARAH NYCOLE I love the name. We (hubby and me) chose it. For us it means princess, thus shes our lil princess!! Good luck

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My mom did some research into our family genealogy, and she found that many women in our family had middle names that carried on their mother's or grandmother's maiden name. My older daughter has my maiden name for her middle name, and my younger daughter has my mother's maiden name. I think it's a nice way to carry on a family name for a girl, who would not otherwise get to keep her family name when she gets married, and is a way that I can see my family name carried on when it would not otherwise be (I am an only child, so there were no boys in the family to carry on the name).

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Well, obviously it's all just a choice of preference. In our case we went with middle names that were named after the kids' great-grandparents. We figured you don't ever really use middle names, so it's nice for them to have a story and some meaning behind them. Otherwise we probably would have just skipped them all together.

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

Our original thoughts were to pick ones that we liked. However, after all is said and done, our children will have middle names with meaning. My son's middle name (Ryan) is the same as my brothers. If we have another boy his middle name will be David (after grandfathers and great-grandfathers) or Andrew (after my husband's brother). If we have girls their middle names would be Elizabeth (husband's grandmother) or Alysse (my middle name that I adore!). Again, we didn't intend for it to happen, but once we started thinking about it, we loved that their middle names would have significance and meaning!

B.M.

answers from San Francisco on

This was my personal naming philosophy:

First name: I wanted it to be Irish, pronounceable and not terrilby common. I also wanted it to be uncommon for our family (I am the family historian and I've seen how confusing it can be to use the same or similar names).

Middle: I wanted something from my side of the family for the middle name. Personally, this is where I wanted to honor someone (or carry on a tradition) on my side of the family.

I don't think there are any 'shoulds' when it comes to selecting middle names beyond common sense and consideration for the kid. I think parents can select anything that they feel would be a good name for their kid.

:)

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter has my grandmother/ mother's middle name. My son has my husband's (his father) first name as his middle name. I wanted some meaning in their names. Both of their first names are ones we picked out and liked the "sound of".

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R.M.

answers from Chicago on

I chose my daughter's middle name because I really liked it and because it's my mother's name.

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