Changing My Sons Name??? 2 Middle Names??? Needing Advice
May 08, 2010
When I was 14 my father died. I have always wanted to name my son after him, to honor my father. When my son was born we named his first name after my father-in-law and husband, but my husband suggested that we save my father's name for if we had a second son. We did have another child, but it was a girl and I did not want to give her my father's name. My husband has since had a vasectomy and therefore it does not look like we are going to have any more children. I am wanting to legally change my sons middle, but part of me wants to keep his middle name and just give him 2 middle names (the one he has and my fathers name). My husband thinks that is ridiculous and says a child should not have 2 middle names. I really just need advice. I feel my father will never be forgotten completely, but this was my way of wanting to honor him. I just don't know if I should change his middle name completely or give him 2 middle names. Does anyone have 2 middle and if so do you hate it, or is it a problem when it comes to documents and paper work, ect? I would love to hear from anyone who has ever experienced maybe what I am feeling as far as wanting their child to be named after their loved one. Thank you so much and God bless.
Just tonight I was talking with some girls. One named their son after his dad for his first name, her father for the middle and the father in law for the second middle. I think it's neat that he has 3 meaningful names. Why dump his original middle name at this point? just add another. I do not think it is ridiculous at all. If there were no reason then I would wonder why you went to the trouble, but I think it's a very good reason.
Do it! Both of my children have 2 middle names. They are the only grandchildren on my side and I knew that we'd have 2 children maximum because I was in my 40's when they were born. It's only a little tricky with documents but at ages 10 and 8, they love explaining where their names come from and who they were named after.
My son has two middle names. We had picked out his first and middle name, and then after he was born, my husband wanted to add his deceased father's name as well. When filling out forms, I just include both middle names in the "middle name space." Sometimes the second middle name is left off of things, but it's on his birth certificate and all of his religious documents--certificates for his Baptism, First Reconciliation, and First Communion.
It sounds like your husband doesn't have any idea how important this is to you which is disturbing. I say just change it! Our son is named after both of his grandfathers who passed when my husband and I were young. It's a real comfort to us. And - our son who is now 4 feels proud that he has family names. He knows who he is named after and has seen pictures of them. Family is important to you. Don't let your husband belittle that. Being a father, you'd think he'd understand that.
My sister has two middle names, it is very common in the South. Since your husband "convinced" you to forgo the name when he was born, I would make a stand now. Remind him of the "agreement" and since he was chopped, the agreement is null and void. Add your Dad's name to your son's. It will make you feel better. cb
I think your husband should have let you name your son after your father in the first place. It's was your father who had passed away not his. I would change it because he had a vasectomy so you know that you guys aren't having any more children. It was kind of selfish of him. My niece has two middle names because my sisters father passed away when she was one, and we have had no problems. I hope this helps in your decisions.
not to be rude but it sounds like your hubby is kinda being a butthead about your father. why couldn't you honor his memory? i understand him feeling "his" father was more important to be named after (kinda unfair if you ask me since his is still around to MEET the child), but whatever. now that you know for sure you will never have another little boy to honor your father's memory with, WHY on earth is he giving you static about the boy having two middle names? it's not as if you're wanting to change his first name. i think husband needs to back off and let you do what you need to do. i don't think it's silly at all, btw, but that's not even the point. husband should be supporting you in this. it means nothing to him. and it means SO much to you. it just sounds like he's making it a power struggle just to prove he's the bigger man. so to speak. i am highly annoyed with your hubby lol. sorry. just my opinion.
I would add your father's name as your son's second middle name rather than change it. He already knows his name, it may be more confusing to have it change rather than added to.
My son has two middle names. We chose to honor my father who passed away 12 years before my son was born by using his name as my son't first middle name (it is also my husband's father's name so it honors both grandpa's) and to honor my grandfather (who is the only grandpa on my side that my children will know) by using his name as my son's second middle name. We've had no confusion so far.
My neice also has two middle names. No confusion for her either.
Best wishes in your decision,
My daughter has 4 names total and so do I. For her, I promised my father I would name my daughter something he loved, when I was 9. So, we put it as her 2nd middle name. For me, I kept my maiden name, didn't hyph and I have 4 names. I usually drop my middle name and use my maiden for my middle.
I understand your desire to keep your father's name alive. I lost my mom when my dau was 7 mo old. I'm still trying to find a way to honor her and the best I can do is keep her photo out and light a candle for her on special days. Ironically enough, her middle name was Elaine and for no apparent reason we chose Laine for my daughters middle name. Kinda odd...and she looks a great deal like my mom.
Well, I have 2 "middle names", it's a common thing in the rest of the world, and it seems only in the US there is only one space for a "middle" initial.
So, I only have room for one of them on all forms.
It bugs me sometimes, because I do have 3 names.
Sometimes my 2 middle name gets mistaken for my last name, since all of my names do not fit on one line on my license.
If you really want to ADD another name, I don't see why your husband does not want to do it? Put it this way: You picked one middle name, I pick the other.
But I wouldn't REMOVE one, and replace with another.
Your son will wonder why at some point in life.
I think it a beautiful way to honor your father!
You can honor your husband and your father by just adding a second middle name. It is more common than you may think.
My brother has two middle names and thus, when he had a son he gave his son two middle names. Both my brother and my nephew have their fathers first name as their first middle name and they both have their mother's maiden last name as their second middle name.
That way both my brother is honoring our Mom's maiden name and our Dad's first and last name. His son is doing the same thing having my brother's name as his first middle name and his mother's maiden name as his second middle name.
My brother professionally signs his name with his first name and two initials before his last name...not a big deal.
Monogramming is a little trickier....you either pay extra for a 4 initial monogram for shirts, etc. For things that will only take 3 monogrammed initials they decided in advance which middle initial to drop (for both of them it was the 2nd middle name). Most of the time they are able to get all 4 initials on whatever they are personalizing.
Whatever your decide, as your son gets older he will feel very special knowing that he has two middle names!
We took care of a foster child who had two middle names. So, some people give their kids two middle names.
I don't think I'd change it, though. I mean, it really doesn't make any difference what he's called and he'll remember his relatives by the stories you tell him, not by what names he's got. After all, I'm sure you have tons of worthy relatives. You don't have to reflect all of them in his name. Not that you can't change his name, but it just seems kind of silly to do so.
Of course, this is all just my opinion and it's a subjective topic.
What is the name? If it's something awkward or doesn't sound right with the rest of his name you might not want to inflict it on the kid, even if you do want to honor the namesake. My brother-in-law hates the fact that his middle name is Floyd, even though he loved his grandfather, for whom he was name. My father never lists his middle name of Clisby unless he absolutely has to, even though it's a name he got from his father.
My first daughter was named after Grandpas. Her first name is Kaydence as a military march cause my dad is in the military. Her middle name is Rae after my hubby's dad.
My second is having 2 middle names. We are naming her Khloe Marie Lynn and she is being named after Grandmas. I just liked the name Khloe but the middle names are all the middle names of all our grandmas. I did this BECAUSE I dont want anymore! I think you should do what you feel is right and if you want to rename your son in memory of your dad GO FOR IT!
My hubby was very against two middle names but he eventually got over it. We chose Khloe and I let him pick from a list of names for the middle names.
My husband and I named our daughter Kyrah Nicole-Van Giere. I had named my son (Styhlor Drake) since I was single so when my husband and I were expecting, I told him he could come up with the name and of course we would need to agree. Kyrah was german which is my husbands background and I always loved the name. Nicole was his sister's middle name and she had passed 7 years ago. Van is his father's middle name which we surely wanted the name since it is cool and honoring his new relationship he had with his dad. Now, the funny thing is that we were so focused on her entire name and how it flowed (Kyrah Nicole-Van Giere) that we never noticed how Kyrah Giere would sound. Hope she doesn't resent us for that one, lol. I believe it makes them more unique. I work in the airline bussiness and you would be surprised just how many people have more than the "common" 3 names (first,middle,last). Hope this helps and Lord bless.
I don't think you're out of line at all. My husband's best friend's name is Brandon John Paul. And a girl I went to school with was Mary Jo-Ellen. Heck, my oldest son's name in C. Levi Wayne. There are no problems with documents and paperwork. As your son gets older he might just use one of them if either at all.
I think you might want to ask your hubby what the real reason is behind him not wanting to do this. Is he just an over-grown spoiled brat who always gets his way? I mean, after all your son is named after him and his dad. (sorry for the sarcasm). Or is he worried about having to pay to legally change it? What's up?
I think it's wonderful that you want to honor your dad. He got the opportunity to honor his dad as well as himself, you should have the same opportunity. I did my father and hope to my grandmother if we ever get around to having another child and lucky enough that it's a girl.
My son has two middle names. One for each grandfather. I will either use R.S. sometimes for the middle name or if there is only a space for an initial, I use R. Some people looked at me funny, but my husband has two middle names too. One of the comments I did hear about it was it is a name of confidence and power.
We did the same for my daughter using the grandmother's names. However, that actually made one word "Raelyn." I thought I made it up, but I see a lot of Raelyn's out there.
My son has 2 middle names. I did not want a 'standard old fashion' name to be my son's 1st name, but I wanted to have family names in his name. It took until he was 2 days old, but that is the option I chose. We started out with two 3 name options, but I just couldn't leave one of my family names out. My son has a 1st name and 2 middle names. My husbands 1st son also had 2 middle names because he didn't like one of the names and his 'ex' wife would not take the name away. They decided on 2 middle names also.
It may be different but it is what we have chosen to do. I wanted my name (family name) for my daughters middle name, but my husband didn't want that either. She has 3, but you did bring up something I may end up doing. She likes my name and wants it... so I may just legally change her name and she may also have 2 middle names. ha
The important thing to remember is that you're honoring your father. Two middles isn't a big deal at all. My nephew has about 9 middle names, now that's crazy!! I have twin boys and they are named after my father and brother, both deceased. It is more important to carry on the family traditions than to worry about how many names. The number of posts from others with two+ middle names confirms that it's not a big deal-breaker. Go for it! God bless.
Shouldn't be a problem with paperwork. My daughter has both grandmothers name. I couldn't pick one over the other, so I chose both. It hasn't been a problem for the last 13 years. I think she likes having both her grandmothers names.
our son has two middle names. both after our grandfathers (on our mothers side). i like both names and loved that we honored our son this way. we havent had to deal too much with docomunets as our son is only two. from what i understand if he joins the military they will only use the first middle name...but i would contact a recruiting office to confirm that. i personaly love him having the two middle names. but we do regret it because of everyone elses reaction. even my mom whos father is one of the names went on about how silly it was. what a bummer!
I don't think it's ridiculous at all. Especially since he is so young. My cousin's son (who is only 2 1/2 yrs old as well) has 2 middle names. It was done this way to honor both our grandfather and his wife's grandfather. Just go for it. It's not going to hurt anyone and it will make you happy.
There is certainly nothing wrong with having 2 middle names. I have known people with 2 middle names throughout my life. Sure it isn't common and why I do not know but I do know you can do anything you want with naming your child and it is perfectly fine. Today a lot of woman have 2 last names so anything goes. Heck Prince Charles has 3 middle names. Everyone only goes by one name when you are talking to them. You would only use their full given name during something formal anyway. Go for it and good for you for wanting to name him after your father as well. That is a way of keeping his name around however always remember another best way too keep his memory alive is to talk about him and make sure your children hear the stories. Put together a book of photos and add stories in the book. I am currently writing a book about my life for my grandchildren adding chapters about my parents, adding our family tree, stories, photos you name it. I am going to have it bound and give them as gifts to my grandchildren for Chirstmas. That way they will always have my book in my own words. You could do something like that as a scrapbook, photo book etc just on your mother and father or just your father. They will cherish it forever and be able to pass it down to their children. My father passed away Christmas Eve of 1970 and my children and grandchildren know everything about him. I also make sure we drive down to my parents graves when we can to pay respects and so they would know where they are buried. I feel confident that when I leave this earth my memories and my legacy will pass on. It also passes on in your children by things they learn from you, special ways of saying things, songs your grandmother may have sang to you etc. Those never leave us. Good Luck and I know your son will be honored.
How old is your son? I think the name change idea is a good one if he is either too young to know or old enough to understand the change. If he is in the middle area where he will know but not understand the change, I would wait for it. I have a huge number of friends with multiple middle names; they generally don't use all of them in their legal documents, but they never complain about them being burdensome to them. In fact, many cultures routinely use multiple middle names.
Two middle names are awesome. My son has one which is my father's but I am going to add to it and add my dear grandfather's. As we too were going to have a second child that didn't happen. Do what you feel is right. There are tons of kids I know with 2 middle names and I love it!!!!
I say go for it. You're honoring your father, and it's really no big deal if he has two middle names.
My son has two middle names. I get the occasional strange look, because we had to use a literal translation on the second one (can't put Gaelic on American birth certificates), but it was my husband's choice on the boy's name. Something we agreed on long before having kids. Now, we're hoping the boy has a sense of humor later in life, he has one now, so it shouldn't be a problem.
As for paperwork? It so far hasn't been to much of a pain, just have to squeeze things in a bit.
Nothing wrong with two middles. Bigger issue is that your husband is either totally against it and being passive-aggressive in his communication of that to you ("Oh, wait until the second one" then the vasectomy) or totally oblivious to how much this means to you. Either way, you need to address it. If you just change his name on your own, there's a good chance that your husband will not honor it and might even grow resentful. If that happens, that would take away some of the warm fuzzies of giving him the name in the first place.
When I got married I made my maiden name be my second middle name. I was already 30, and was too used to my last name to just give it up, but I did want my childrens' last name to be the same as mine. I knew that my parents had spent time choosing both my first and middle names, and I didn't feel right about dumping my original middle name for my maiden name either. So I have both. I've only had one issue--they would only let me put one middle name on my TX drivers license. So, I had to pick one for that. But that's not a big deal. Definitely not a reason NOT to do it. I hyphenate when I do research, only so my early work (with maiden name) is still indexed with my current projects, but I use that only as a professional name; it's not my legal name.
My kids are both from China and they each have two middle names: the first one is after people in our family, and the second is their orphanage-given Chinese first name. If they ever have to choose one for a document, I'll let them decide what they want to do.
So, the extra middle names aren't bothering us. I can't refer to how an older child or a teenager would relate to the extra middle name, as I got my extra name when I was older and my oldest child is 5.
Hi there! I understand completley and both of my children as well as the third due in October all have 2 middle names! No worries on paperwork they simply use the initial of the first middle name...it really rather simple! My children love having the extra middle name! My son likes it because he feels special since most of his friends only have one! Also later in life some choose to use a middle name to go by and having 2 ony provides more choices!
Both my son and daughter have 2 middle names. So far I have not had any issues with this. They are both named after people alive and passed who meant a lot to my husband and me.I would say do what you heart tells you is right. Also, having 2 middle names is great when they are in trouble. ;). Also depending on your sons age I would suggest giving him the option if he is old enough or possibly waiting until he is old enough to choose for himself.
My daughter has two middle names as well
Her first name is where my fathers family is from such as Austin or Dallas or Macon etc.
Her first middle name is my sisters middle name - My sister passed away when she was 21 and never had the chance to meet my daughter - who was born 13 years later.
Her 2nd middle name is her fathers mothers middle name - which I wish I had never done. Not to be mean - simply because he and the rest of his family have chosen to not be a part of her life. she is almost 6 and has no idea who her G-parents are or her aunts and uncles from that side.
We wont even get started with her father.
however, my daughter is very sound in who she is and knows her name. It has never bothered her that her name is longer than others in her class and I have never had an issue with any sort of documentation. (knock on wood) I will see if that holds true since I will be filing for a passport soon!
My thoughts are - depending upon the age of your child, I would discuss it with him and let him have his input, but also do what you feel is right.
My husband has 2 middle names, and has always hated it. It is a Arcadian (French Canadian) tradition to name the children the fathers first name and another middle name, hence a lot of hyphenated French names (Jean-Pierre, etc.) So in our families they used some part of the fathers name as the childs middle name, so my husbands middle name is Paul Joseph. He absolutely hates having 2 middle names and only used the first middle initial. Also as far as legal paperwork, they only use the first initial of the first middle name anyway.
Personally I think you should leave his name as is. Your children will grow up some day and have children of their own. Maybe then they will choose to use your fathers name. I definitely think you shouldn't do it if your husband is dead set against it, after all it's his child to. I would let it go. No need to name anyone after your father to keep his memory alive, you do that by talking about him, sharing pictures and memories with your children.
u should of named ur son the way u wanted to!!!! his father not deceased, and y in gods earth did he have a vasectomy if he knew u wanted to name a baby like ur father!!!???? sorry that i may sound so harsh but come on!!! personally i dont like or would like to name my kids after a relative why? because they already have that name and is mostly confusing at times!!! y name a child like someone from ur family that has died when u can name ur child as the person alive? yes its an honor to be named after a relative but it also depends on if ur child may like it when he's older!!! wats ur father's name? MAYBE U CAN ADOPT A CHILD!!!
I'd say go for it. I have 3 middle names so I get to pick what I want to 'go by'. My nephew has 2 middle names but they're joined w/an apostrophe which, honestly looks rediculous (I wudda used a hyphen but oh well). Look at the royal family w/all those many middle names they have. People in other countries name their children w/more than one middle name sometimes (or a lot of the time). I'd say nevermind what your husband says. He should've agreed to it in the first place. Good luck!
Through out the world there are many many people out there that have as much as six names, starting with their first name , mother's maiden name, etc. for you and you family this is not with out possibilities. You did not say how old your son is. Name's can have a - between then even some families even married women do this. It will just take some paperwork and most likely some money to do this but not impossible.
The French, Spanish, and like I said many culture's have more than 2-3 names so this is not uncommon. Good luck.
Well, my daughter actually has two first names and one middle name. I did not realize that was what my DH was wanting to do when we picked the names. I thought we were dropping the old middle name we had choosen so we could use the one I really wanted after my grandmother... then when she got here...different story. Anyway it is a little confusing that way, but i don't care she is my child and i love ALL of her names and that they all mean something special, i agree with everyone else. Give him the name as a second middle name if it means that much and it sounds like it does. Good Luck.
I have two middle names, each of my two children have two middle names, I know of one friend who also has four names, not counting married last names. I think the question isn't "Why do you want to burdon your son with names of people you love?" but rather "Why is your husband so against it?" It may not be as different as you think. Some people have no middl ename at all, some people have four, in some cultures, people have many, many names. I know some people think the FATHER should have more say on the names of children, and I know that in this case, there might even be legal fees, but if it makes you happy, and you have kind memories of your father when you think of your son, more love is created and spread. He may grow up LOVING having the name of BOTH of his grandfathers. Honestly, computers aren't set up to take two middle names. I finally got the credit card company to take two middle initials, and the DMV puts my two middle names together with no space and missing a letter, since I didn't want just the initials, and sometimes there is only the first initial on some forms, but think that they will be less suseptable to identity theft with a slightlyu more complicated name. Go for it!
My son will be two in July and has 2 middle names, named after his great grandma. I don't see a problem with it and later on he will enjoy telling different names to call him by, I told him he'll have one for each girlfriend in high school (LOL). Since your son is young, change it now, so he'll be used to it.