my grandma requires 24/7 care and refuses to go into an assisted living. Recently she has become very obsessed with needing her routine everyday. She has a lot of anxiety and cant handle her routine being off at all. She is becoming very negative and is now up most of the night as well as the day. She has nurses that are there taking care of her but they cant handle being up all day and night because she needs her dresser straighted and her cloths are not right, etc. Has anyone experienced this before and could it be early signs of dimentia or maybe something else?
Time for a battery of tests. Going to an assisted living facility will not help this. She needs medication and people who know how to deal with this.
If you can't get her to the doctor, talk to elder care social services.
Best of luck to you - I know this is very hard.
Often when older people start to noticeably lose their memory, routine becomes a necessity. It is the only way they get through the day while trying to hide the fact that they don't remember even what day it is (does she have multiple calenders throughout the house?). The crankiness could be part of that fear, or it could be part of a personality change associated with Alzheimer's.
Here's the rub. Assisted living will not take a person who is already diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Once that diagnosis is made, it is ether home care or a nursing home. But older people, in general, do better in a assisted living as they are surrounded by functioning people their own age with similar interests. But if she is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, there are an amazing array of new treatments that assist in slowing it's progression (coconut oil is said to help when added to other treatments).
I'm sorry, this is a difficult situation for anybody. I would suggest that she get her financial and legal paperwork in order while she is still able to make decisions. Will, legal power of attorney, medical power of attorney, and an advanced health care directive at the minimum.
Definitely sounds like dementia to me. Has she been to her physician for a full work up? If not, that would be the first step.
If the nurses coming into her home can't handle being up all night, maybe a new nursing company should be hired. If they're providing round the clock care, they should have them doing shifts so someone can be there during the day, and someone else at night.
Sometimes, the decision has to be made to move the person to an assisted living facility whether the person likes it or not. If she has dementia, she's not thinking clearly, and that has to be taken into consideration.
There are different forms of dementia, but some of them look like what you describe.
My mother (just 86) has just entered this phase in the past year. She needs sameness and routine or she becomes very rattled and confused. And exceedingly cranky and demanding. Checklists for her have helped, but less so every month. We also try to keep interesting reading material and old movies available so she doesn't get as distracted. She loves repetition these days.
It's no fun getting old, and no fun caring for elders who have changed so drastically. We may be looking for a care facility in the coming year.
Wishing you well.
You need to talk to your grandma's doctor about this. It could be, but the whole issue can be pretty complicated. You need an expert diagnosis.
Get a referral to a neurologist who will do a battery of tests on her brain and typically s/he can figure out the cause of the symptoms. We thought my aunt had straight dementia, but she had had a few mini-strokes. The neurologist can also get access to special trials of tests for research, if you are at all interested in that. I also hope she is used to having someone go to the doctor with her. The switch from the doctor talking to the patient to the doctor talking to the patient and the patient's family can be a trying step.
Best wishes.
She needs to, with one of you going with her, to see her Doctor.
Get her medical condition, assessed.
Don't just guess.
Take her, to the Doctor.
And be there with her, so that YOU can talk to the Doc too.
Being in the condition she is, she needs to see a Doctor.
And yes, older people who are degenerating, can and do, get very stuck on their routines. And they do have anxiety. They know, they are not as they were.
And they get "scared" too... of their life, its changes, their lack of ability and thus their needing to DEPEND on others.... and the slow degeneration of themselves and their, life.
It is a type of grief.
And adjustment.
And how they cannot take care of themselves, anymore.
Take her to the Doctor.
I think it is very common for the elderly to be obsessed with their personal belongings being left alone and the way they want them. Was she normally obsessed in her younger years? It could get worse with age.
I usually know dementia to be more of a mean abusive state. Verbally or physically abusive. She must have a doctor since she has nurses, mention this at her next appointment.
Remember, as we get older, we go back to our beginning stages (for the most part), so it may not be out of the question to want things her way.
get her to dr asap..
My mom never had alzheimer's and died at 88 but for the last few years her natural tendency to be independent and in control seemed to become almost OCD with her need to have things in certain spots and mostly with wanting the bathroom and kitchen counter uncluttered and wiped down after each use. If I left drops of water on the counter after washing my hands, or if I left a spoon on a plate while cooking it had to be washed and put away right away so that her sense of calm was restored. I think it can be as simple as losing control over so much of her life that she wanted to be able to exert control in those small areas where she was still capable. Some mild anti anxiety tablets helped my mom. But I agree with the others that this could be something altogether different and we are not doctors.
She needs to get to the doctor and then a referral to a neurologist as soon as you can get her there especially if there are also recent personality changes. Dementia isn't just signified by "meanness" and such. It's much more complicated than that. The change in her sleep-wake cycle, the anxiety, the desperate need for routine... those are cause for concern and while they might not be dementia they are still signs that she needs medical attention.
If it's determined that she has dementia or something else you may need to establish guardianship and you have to get her evaluated for competency to do that because guardianship is a legal process. That will be the only way you can get her into assisted living. Except you already stated that she already requires 24/7 care. So there are already some serious issues going on. Now there's this? Yes, you have to attend doctor appointments with her and get the full story here with some evaluations.
