On the Sideline

Updated on January 05, 2011
L.J. asks from Day, FL
4 answers

I sit and watch from the sidelines as my friend gets abused by her husband. She also has a daughter. As I sit and watch what she is put through everyday it kills me. I've offered her my hand in help I've opened a joint account so she has money if and when she needs it. Ive offered her a place to stay to get away. Is there anything else I can do to help her?

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

You're a good friend.

Hug to you, to your friend and to her daughter.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Call CPS. Repeatedly. Each and every single time.

CPS often needs multiple (often 10 or more) "flags" / reports before they'll send someone out. If the situation is happening RIGHT THEN, do NOT call CPS, call the cops.

The CPS reports and police intervention will also help her keep her children when it's time for custody agreements. OTW it's he said/ she said. And dad will get partial to 50% custody.

To KNOW: Most battered spouses leave the abuser SEVEN times before it becomes permanent. By then, they've usually lost any support from friends and family. Knowing the stat, however, tends to make people more tolerant of the psych behind actions. As in, it's not just your friend/sister/daughter/aunt... but what is *normal* for battered spouses. Like toddlers or babies have *normal* things that just DON'T make sense to non parents.

1 mom found this helpful

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

Liz you are a good friend. Your friend has to want to be helped! There is no reason for her to stay in a abusive relationship. Also she has a daughter that is watching it happen. If she doesnt get out of there her daughter will bring home the same kind of man and will think what he is doing is okay. If it were my friend I would go over there and get her @$$ and make her leave. I know that is easier said then done, but let your friend know how important, and loved she is and she has a daughter who needs her.

S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

She isn't able to SEE what's happening to her.
She literally is stuck in a mind-set in which
she doesn't see/understand what you see and understand.
You've already done so much.
She probably doesn't even understand
why you're doing all this stuff.
Do you know, does she come from a family
in which her mother was treated in this way?

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