Need Wedding Advice

As a wedding consultant there are several ways to inculded them in the ceromony. The unity candal is a good one and another is to have vows to them from you and the groom in vowing to be a family thorugh it all and thick and thin etc. Serch it on the net. Good Luck!

When my husband & I were married last year we poured colored sand into a heart shaped bottle. The minister poured some 1st (to represent god in our life) then my husband and I poured each a little then the two of of us poured together as bonding our lives together as one. That might be something you could do as a family to all be part of the ceremony. Each have a vial of sand to represent your family as one and pour it into a nice vase or something that will go generically with your home. We have ours on our mantle to always have that memory. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day.

S., when my niece married they all had different colored sand to pour into a container to show the blending of the families. It was nice and made and special keepsake.

When my husband and I got married my son was 3 years old. He was our ring baearer, plus we had a unity candle for him and we gave him a ring. He still wears his ring on a necklace and is very proud to tell everyone why he has a ring. We have been married 5 years.

Good luck!

You should do a unity sand ceremony. My husband and I did it at our wedding, it was beautiful, and it makes an amazing keep sake for you home. All you do is find a large container that you would like to have out in your home somewhere (mine has a lid that I can put a candle in, I got it at hobby lobby) You will need sand that matches the color of your wedding, and 4 smaller containers for each of you to pour the sand into the larger container. In the middle of the ceremony the preacher can give the speach about unity and two becoming one (in your case 4 becoming one) and you can all four pour the sand into the container together to symbolize the joining of your two families. All you have to do it google unity sand ceremony and you will find lots of information. I even found a story that our preacher was able to include in her normal ceremony. Everyone really liked that part of our wedding.

When my husband and I got married, my sons were 4 and 5. They stood at the front near my dad as the vows began. After a reading from a Bible verse on family, my sons moved next to us and said something like, "We love you both, and together we are a family." It was short and simple and sweet, but appropriate for their young ages. The funny thing was that after the wedding, the boys would say, "Remember when we got married?" They thought that the 4 of us had literally gotten married, which was really very sweet and precious!!!! May your marriage be blessed!

S.!

Congrats on you upcomming wedding. How exciting!

I have been to a wedding where the couple was in the same situtation. They had the kids light there unity candle for them. Then as a couple they light the center one.

For example...You can have your son (with help from the daughter) light your side and he daughter light her dads side. Then you and your husband light the center one.

It's really cute!!! Hope this helps!!!! GOOD LUCK:)

I attended a wedding where both the bride and groom had children from previous marriages. During the ceremony they had the kids come up. They had an empty vase and they each had their own color of sand and they (including bride and groom) poured it in the vase to show the making of a new family.

What I saw at one weddig was, my girlfriend and her daughter carried one thin cnadle, and her husband and HIS daughter carried another. Each representing their seperate families. The four of them walked up to a big candle, them all in a row, (daughter, wife, husband, daughter) They took both their small candle adn lit the big candle together. This represented teh belending and making of a new family. When they walked back down, they switched order in line (wife, step daughter, wife's daughter, husband).
It was really nice.
Also, just before the ceremony, the bride's father lit her candle, adn the grooms father lit his.

S.,
When my dh & I got married, I had a dd from a previous marriage. We wanted to include her in our wedding other than just as flower girl. There are some ceremonies on the internet, but the one that we chose was for him to place a cross pendant necklace around her neck and pledge to honor, cherish and support her in all that she does. She was 4 at the time and doesn't remember it at all, she just knows it happened because of the pitures and the story behind the necklace.
Your future step daughter would be able to appreciate some sort of jesture from you like that. Your son might like to receive a football or something of that nature with some sort of "pledge" from your future dh.
I hope this helps.
S. (pronounced S.)

I've seen a ring presented to the little girl with a promise from the new Mom to love her and respect her... and I guess the new Dad can give something to your son. Maybe even a verbal promise to the kids would be beautiful.

I saw that Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood actually made a vow to the kids...promising to be a good, loving, and supportive parent. They even gave the children a piece of jewlery in the ceramony. Hope this helps.

M. D

We had a Family Covenant ceremony and gave promise gifts to the kids. We gae the girls rings and the boys real nice pens (they were older) There are even vows for the parents to make to the kids...google it, it was very special!

When my husband and I got married almost 2 years ago, our son (4 at the time) was our ring bear but we also stuck a special part in the ceremony where we gave him a necklace. It was a replacement of one he had received when he was baptized but had lost. We picked out a special charm to put on there and presented it to him during the ceremony. We had our officiant explain to everyone what we were doing while we were putting the necklace on our son. Maybe y'all can find something special to give both kids that would connect everyone and the officiant can explain that this is something special for them and a way you are bonding 2 families.

Light a family unity candle - each having a taper and all
lighting a big "family Unity" candle at the same time.
Good Luck,
J.

At the end of your wedding you could exchange vows to the children. Promising to accept each others differences & always be loyal to each other. Why don't you walk by yourself? You've already done the dad thing & I think that's a beautiful scenario that your kids & new hubby will be standing there & your walking towards them. At the end of our wedding my husband & 3 yr. old son promised to honor & cherish each other...there wasn't a dry eye in the house. AND my son remembers the wedding to this day because he was inlcluded. Just my 2 cents..hope all goes well.

Hello S.,
At a wedding I attneded some time ago, I saw the family light the unity candle, symbolizing everyones agreement to make the commiment to the marrige and new family. I do not know what faith you practice nor if you had planned to light a candle but I hope this suggestion helps!
A.

I answered something simular to this for another mother. It seems to me the sand thing has been done a hundred times, why not do something different. They are going to be in your wedding which I think is very nice. How about after you are pronounced husband and wife and you turn, the children come up and join you. The minister can announce Mr. and Mrs. ? and the "last name" family. Then all of you walk out together as a family. It would be nice to also give the children a token or gift that has some meaning but you don't have to give that to them during the ceremony, but maybe before or after.
Good Luck and best wishes.

I went to a wedding where the couples said their vows and then each said a vow they wrote to the child of the other person. It was beautiful.

Have them light the candle with you. The candle lighting represents two becoming one. In reality, there are many becoming one, so have all of you light the one big candle together.
K.

I have heard of parents buying a piece of jewelry like a Family Medallion necklace and having the preacher say a little something about the two families becoming one at the end (after "you may kiss your bride") and introducing the "Smith Family" instead of "Mr and Mrs John Smith". This lets the kids know that they are a part of this, not just people who just had to accept it. You can find things like these in bridal accessory catalogs.

Also type in "including step-children in wedding" into your search engine. That's how I got the following ideas.

Here are some cool ideas:
unity sand ceremonies
http://www.unitysandceremony.net/the-blended-family-and-t...

Here is an article on ForeverWed.com about including the children in the ceremony and using the Family Medallion (towards the end of the article)
http://www.foreverwed2.com/newsletters/stepchildren.html

Here is a sample of vows exchanged between stepchildren- and stepparents-to-be - just say the names of the child instead of "bride's/groom's child":
http://www.weddingsbylance.com/ceremonies/joining_of_chil...

I had no knowledge of and was not at my dad's second wedding. Found out about it afterwards. It really hurt. I was a couple of months shy of my 11th birthday when I found out. Different situation, though, she didn't want us to begin with and he didn't know because she told him she loved us like her own.

He remarried for the third and last time when I was twenty-four. I love this woman and stood up for my dad instead of as Best Woman. I held the ring he presented to her. It was pretty cool. :)

Have a Wonderful and Blessed Marriage and Life together!
Donna

During the ceremony, after you and your fiance repeat your vows, include something where you repeat some special vows to your future step-daughter and maybe give her a special bracelet or necklace. Then your fiance repeats vows to your son and gives him a special token. The purpose is to pledge love and commitment to one another and join you together as a family. After pronouncing you husband and wife, the preacher can introduce you and Mr and Mrs ___ and their two children, ____ and _____.

You know how the bride and groom light a unity candle? How about a family unity candle. Your husband to be can help your son & you his daughter, making you all 1 family.

I had married the second time 3 years ago and at the time my daughter was 5. And i was the same way. I got on the computer and just searched, I cant remember the name of it. But we orders this necklace that he gave her during the cermony to was a sign of combining the familes. It was really nice. And I included all if it into the words that were spoken at the cermoney. if you send me your email address I will send you a copy of it. To see if it may be something you can use. good luck

Give them each a special piece of jewelry during the ceremony-symbolic of your new family

If you are lighting a unity candle as part of your ceremony, consider having the children light it as well. Same goes for if you are each pouring sand into a single jar/vase to represent the union of family.

In Amazon sisterhood,
B.

I think you could do a spin on the whole lighting of the candle after the vows. You and you son and him and his daughter could both light a candle and then both sides of the family could light the bigger candle signifying the unity of all four of you into one family. Or after you could add into your vows a part where the pastor asks each child to accept the new "parents" into their family and they respond yes or I do, etc.

I married for the 2nd time in 2000. My husband had a son and I had a daughter. I presented my stepson with a family medallion necklace and my husband presented my daughter with a family medallion necklace. The family medallion is 3 circles entwined instead of 2 and represents the family instead of just husband and wife. Our children were thrilled to be included and to also get a piece of jewelery symbolizing OUR unity as a family. Google family medallion for more information. Best of luck!

S.,

I have a get idea. How about you have them light a unity candle or you give his daughter a ring stating to love and cherish him as if you were my own son and your fiance does the same to your son.

Have you thought about having a short portion of the Ceremony as a family unit? They can incorporate a portion where the children come up to the alter and there are certain words that can be said by the Minister involving a family unit. You could place a necklace on his daughter and he could place a chain on your son, perhaps have a heart on it or something engraved showing they are all a part of your family now. There is specific ceremony words available if you are interested and you can use those or it will give you ideas to come up with your own unique style.

I know people who have included stepkids in the ceremony in order to make them feel that it's their decision too, to combine the families. I think they just had the kids repeat a line or two similar to "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife (stepmom)?"

My sister-in-law had a similar situation with her wedding. She had two boys she wanted to include, but wasn't sure how. Ultimately they decided to have two pendant/necklaces made that were incorporated into the ceremony. When it came time to exchange rings between bride and groom, they followed it by presenting the two boys with a symbol of family unity and commitment by giving them the necklaces. I thought it was really sweet and helped to bring that family bond closer.

Hello! I recently got married (for my second time) to a great man (who hadn't been married before), and we both have five year olds! A boy and a girl! Of course my daughter was the flower girl and his son was the ring bearer. What we did was have the preacher mention the children in the exchanging of our vows, just a little something to the groom about taking my daughter in and being as good to her as he could be, he said I do, and visa versa for me. Then, during our candlelighting we had both children go with us to the candle, help each of us hold our candle and light it all four together. And once we were done lighting the unity candle we let our children blow our candles out. We then exchanged kisses to the kids and went back to complete the ceremony. It worked out so perfectly! It is very special to become a blended family, especially when there are little ones involved! Hope this gave you an idea! Good Luck!

make a speech during the wedding services...like i want to help my new beautiful daugther and my son who has been the apple of my life.etc

I recently went to a wedding were step children were involved and they had a time during the ceremony were they played a song and while that song was playing the mom and soon to be step dad poured colored sand in a pretty bottle and then the kids poured a little sand of a different color and they each took turns pouring sand in the bottle until the bottle was full. It represented that the mom and step dad had joined together with the kids to become one family. I think the step dad had black sand, the mom had white and the kids had red. They did this facing the crowd so everyone could see what they were doing and how the sand mixed together representing the family becoming one. I thought it was very unique and neat. Or you could write a vow to his daughter and he could write a vow to your son and get rings or necklaces to represent them marrying into this new family. Best of luck to you!

We are getting married in June, I have two children and he has one. We are going to do the sand ceremony, where each child and us pour in a different color sand as a symbol of our blending together as one family. I think it will be wonderful and something we can keep forever.

Hi S.....Congrats! I had an idea that you might like. When I got married to my now-ex, he had a 6 y/o son and I had an 11 y/o son. What the preacher did was right after he pronounced us man and wife, he brought the boys to the front and "married" them to each other as brothers! Sat them on his knees and went through the spiel about how they would now be brothers, we would all be one family...no "step" this or that...that they should respect each other, get along with each other, help each other and love each other. There were a few more things he said, but that's the basics. Then he had them hug and pronounced them "brothers". They even had their own pictures taken together. It was SOOOOO cute, amazing and a real tear-jerker. Of course we got it on tape. Everyone thought it was the best idea as it made the boys feel like they belonged, were really a part of the ceremony and were loved. Maybe you could do something along those lines if your preacher agrees. Good luck and have a Happy Forever!

To include both of the children in the ceremony why not do a Unity Candle Ceremony. Both of the children can light the candles with you and your husband to be. There is a wonderful song that would be fitting for this. I believe that it is called "Yours Mine and Ours." by David Chamberlin and Teresa James.

Hi S.,

My brother just got married 2 weeks ago and his wife has 2 children (my brother also had not been married before). They had the kids help them light the unity candle. They actually still had the moms light the outer 2 and then the kids had 2 other candles that they lighted from those and they all four (the parents and the 2 kids) lighted the center candle together to symolize the family joining together. I actually think I like some of the other ideas on here better where the kids light the side candles, but either way, I think it's a great way to get the kids involved in the ceremony.

Best wishes and congratulations!

What you might do to include them in the ceremony is after you and your new husband exchange rings give them a symbol of your new family. You can give his daughter a necklace of special meaning and your new husban can do the same with your son.

I was in the same situation 4 yrs ago when my husband and i got married. We let our sons, age 4 and 12 light the unity candles for us instead of our parents. it made them feel so special. the 12 yr old was really tickled. he said it made him feel important to unite the two families together.

i hope i was helpful. good luck on your Blessed day!!!

D. Mattern
The MOM Team
www.formyrugrats.com
"The only thing that counts is faith, expressing itself through love." Galatians 5:6

When I got married, my groom had a daughter also. I said vows to her and gave her a ring. The vows were something like "I choose you to be my family. I promise to love you and do all that I can to make sure that you are happy and safe. I promise to be someone you can always trust and turn to." There wasn't a dry eye in the audience after that.... And she still tells me how nice it was that I married her too.