Need Quick Valentine's Gift Advice Before Hubby Gets Home.

Updated on February 16, 2012
L.F. asks from Newport Beach, CA
19 answers

Hubby and I normally don't celebrate Valentine's Day because it is such a commercialized non-holiday. But this year, my husband took it upon himself to order a dozen roses for my daughter and chocolate covered strawberries for me. They were delivered a few hours ago. My daughter loved her roses, but they look wilted and dead to me. I tried a couple of the chocolate covered strawberries, and they taste pretty bad. One of them actually smelled like it was possibly rotting. (They came properly packaged, so I know it wasn't spoilage due to temperature.)

My daughter and I have thanked my husbad profusely for the gifts. I am super impressed that he took the initiative to order these gifts (using his own allowance money no less!). Now my question: Should I mention anything about the poor quality of these items? It is the thought that counts, and I am so grateful for this loving gesture. The only reason I would want to mention anything to my husband is that he dropped $130 on these gifts and he is likely to do this again if I don't say anything.

I am such a stickler for getting what I paid for, so it's hard for me to let this go. But should I? Even if it means that I will probably be getting rotten flowers and fruit for my birthdays, anniversaries, etc? I think my husband is so proud of himself for giving these gifts that he would feel hurt if I made any critical remarks about the product quality. What would you do?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all of the advice. I did end up keeping my mouth shut until.....he asked me how the strawberries were. I just told him that the chocolate was good, but that some of the strawberries didn't taste very good. He was fine with that. He didn't seem to notice that our daughter's flowers were nearly dead. But he was able to bask in the glory of his good deed.

Funnily enough, hubby admitted to me that he only got me the strawberries because he wanted to get the flowers for our daughter. He only wanted to get the flowers for our daughter because last week he bought gourmet cheese popcorn for our son. (My daughter couldn't partake because of her allergies.) So it all started because a new popcorn store opened up across the street from his office :-)

I did get him a nice Valentine's gift too, since he had hinted earlier that our daughter and I would be getting something. So all in all, we had a great Valentine's Day.

Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Do not! mention the quality!! Later on, if he wants to order from the same place mention you didn't think they did good work but not now!! He tried, let him have that.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn"t complain, just thank him and that's it. I am afraid if you complain, he will never buy you anything again. It's the thought that counts.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Don't be critical, he's probably on Cloud 9 for his good deeds.
Let him see/smell what he got the two of you, let him lead the conversation if he notices the condition of the stuff.
If he doesn't say anything untoward, let it go...
I'm the same about getting what you pay for, may have to bite your tongue on this one :)

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

No, don't mention anything to HIM.
It was so nice of him & a surprise. I have seen this backfire w/friends.
Take a picture of the flowers & the rotten strawberry.
Call both company's tomorrow to lodge a complaint.
Tell them you have a picture of the wilted flowers ect.
Tell them while you know it's a busy holiday, you should be given what you pay for. (A lot of money was dropped).

Now for a quick gift for your hubby:
Throw together a nice meal w/whatever you have on hand.
Give him a back or foot massage when he gets home from work.
Pay him extra attention tonight: kind loving words, hugs, get him a drink
and possibly a little lovin' later tonight?
You could also go online & get him a subscription to a sporting magazine
if he's into that, buy him a round of golf online or call his favorite golf course, open & share a bottle of wine together etc.
All fun, nice, sweet, loving!
Happy V-Day!

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I would keep my big mouth shut and thank him again when he gets home.

Unless you want to ensure that he NEVER tries again, keep quiet.

Oh, and IF he says anything about the wilted/rotten gifts, just say "oh, we didn't really notice....that's too bad, but we love them anyways"

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D.G.

answers from Rockford on

I wouldn't mention the 'condition' of either of the gifts. I'd be happy he made this gesture and let it go at that. I know it would drive me nuts too as to what he got for the money, but I would truly not mention it and see if he notices the condition of the items. At least you can place blame on the company he purchased these from. I received a half dozen, half dead roses (again)))), and my hubby proudly picked them out himself!! Ugh!! I may have to start a new post on how to handle this one! :-) It was the THOUGHT that counted... keep repeating.....! Have a good V-Day!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

No, let him have his glory. Be very appreciative, as you have been. Call the companies yourself and complain and DEMAND they rectify. Store credits for the full amount or money back etc. Almost all companies make good on poor quality situations.

As for a gift for him, give him a full body massage once the kids are asleep. Use baby oil, light candles, play music...you get where this is going...

night night....

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would thank him and then ask him where he got them from and then contact the place to let them know how poor the quality was. Of course contact them when your hubby isn't there.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My flowers came pretty sad too. My husband noticed and we laughed about it.

As for a quick idea, do you have red lipstick? You can draw a heart on your belly... or elsewhere and tell him that you want him to kiss the hearts :) I just thought of this... may do it myself :)

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

The roses my daughter got last year for V-Day were awful looking and the arrangement was poorly and hurridly thrown together. I say from the mass production of orders on V-Day. She called the florist...and they sent new ones. As for the strawberries....every year I go to the Fresh Market and buy chocolate strawberries and bring to my grandson school and eat lunch with him. Well last years, the strawberries were hard and all white on the inside. This year...fabulous....red and juicy. Of course you can't tell until you take the first bite.

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K.C.

answers from Texarkana on

Nah don't say anything just put on sum Lionel richie and something black and lacey and thank him for the sweet gesture. :) lol that's what I'm doing I got flowers today that I wasn't expecting and I'm home w a newborn so didn't have time to leave and go get anything so alil loving is what my hubby is getting....

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would get the name of the company from where he sent the flowers and chocolate, and handle it yourself without getting him involved. That way you don't steal his thunder and take away from his thoughtfulness, but at the same time, you make sure you get what he paid for. They will either resend to you, or give you gift certificate for amount spent, etc.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

First, if I could figure out where he bought them, I would call them and make a complaint. Some times the 1-800 number contracts with a local vendor to supply the flowers and they would want to know if they were of poor quality.

Then, I would wait for a couple of days and then mention it to my hubby so he won't do business with them in the future.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't mention it to you hubby, but definately contact the company and they will most likely send you new flowers/chocolates to make up for the bad quality. Or at least they need to know they are sending out bad stuff.

Good Luck!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the posters who said wait.....even till V-Day comes around again next year. If you think he might do the same thing and you really don't want him to waste the money on a bad product, mention at that time that you didn't think the quality was worth the money. To mention it right now would deflate his joy in doing good for you and your daughter. Not worth the mention.

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M.Z.

answers from Chicago on

Call the company and give them your honest feedback....

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T.C.

answers from New York on

I agree with Lesley. If he has two eyes on his head he can see that flowers are wilted, and after dinner you can pull out your chocolates and offer him one. But I would definitely not say anything. Believe me the $130 is worth it, for his own sake if not what you got out of it. Had it been the other way around and you had paid for gifts for him, then it would be totally appropriate to say something. But it was his money so yeah, I think I would let it go.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

No! Don't mention anything at all. It would only crush him, and it's not his fault anyway. If you really want him to know, wait a long while before even mentioning it (like, a few months).

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

You are kidding right? Someone takes the time, energy, money and thinks of you.......loving sends flowers and chocolate covered strawberries and you want to let them know how awful they were? I would guarantee it would be the last thoughtful gesture you would receive. It is the same as returning a gift purchased for you because "you want something else". My husbands' family is like this.... criticizes all gifts, always exchanging or returning for money.....very hurtful and RUDE. Appreciate the thought and let him know how sweet he is and hope that next time the end result will improve. JEEZ!

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