Need Help with Sensitive Issue

Updated on December 29, 2008
L.F. asks from Fort Worth, TX
32 answers

Hi Ladies,
Just a warning, this may be TMI :) I have a doctor's appt. to talk to my Gyn, but I couldn't get in for a few weeks, so looking for a little advice in the meantime. My daughter is now 17 months and ever since she was born making love with my husband has been very uncomfortable, no lubrication. I did breastfeed her for the first year, but haven't breastfed in close to 6 months now. At first I thought it was due to the breastfeeding and that once that was over things would get better, but they have not. We have tried using personal lubricants, but whenever we do that I get an external and internal yeast infection afterwards so then I'm uncomfortable for the next week. I don't know what to do because as much as I would like to make love to my husband I just dread it now because it hurts and then I end up feeling bad for the next week. Any suggestions or experiences would be helpful. Also, any ideas on on personal lubricants that we could use that may be better than the KY brands, something that is more natural. Thanks for your help mamas and have a Happy Holiday!!

3 moms found this helpful

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

I had a similar problem, but it didn't last as long, maybe because of what the doc gave me. My problem was that it was too painful to get busy. The doc gave me some kind of hormone cream (estrogen, I think) to rub down there. As far as lube, try Astroglide. I feel really strange recommending that online, but, it was the best thing we found. We tried KY and everything from the grocery store and this was by far the best for us. For me, I also just think "working it out" with practice helped. I did have a tear. I kind of think I was sewn up too much. Probably not, but I wonder. It finally got better. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

Wow, I thought I was the only one.
It takes at least 18 months to recover from having a baby.
My husband actually will spit in his hand and put it where it counts. I can't use lubes for the same reason. also try being on top at first because you can control how everything goes in, have a little more fun before you begin.
Good luck.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know where to find it, but I tried a sample of FEMGLIDE one time, and I will never try anything else!

Oh! And drink lots of water!

Good luck at the doctor's!

More Answers

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B.T.

answers from Dallas on

Lubrication issues could relate to your water content. If you are dehydrated, especially if chronically, water will be diverted by the brain to the life-dependent organs, such as brain, (brain requires and retains 20% of the total fluids consumed), heart, maintenance of the fluid content of the bloodstream, etc. All other systems take a back seat, including joints, spinal discs, and other fluid-based entities. Up your fluid content consistently, and the lubrication problems may disappear.
Other than the sexual issues, which are also clearly affected by fatigue and stress, a yeast infection is constantly being "fed" by sugar in your diet. Yeast feed on sugar. Cut out all sugar and its alternatives, get onto whole natural foods, and look into an alternative therapy called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique (google it and give it a try, it's free, and can even be used by a novice, directions at the website...), and you may find relief. The other problems, after your doctor checks you for possible physical causes, respond to counseling, but EFT may help with those too. Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful
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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

An adult store may have some other options for lubricant.

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

This may be a bit personal (as this all is) but try playing with your husband a little bit before intercourse as foreplay and… if he has a little that comes out … :-) then just rub it where it counts on yourself! Sometimes it will help you to make more also.

Have you tried dirty movies (I am really not this awful on Christmas Eve!)

Good Luck!
E.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I had NO IDEA that 'adult stores' were so commonplace...guess they're just not my thing.
Check out Whole Foods, they'll have something more natural there.

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J.F.

answers from Dallas on

L.,

I had this same problem. Turns out I actually had an infection. A weeks worth of antibiotics fixed everything.

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J.P.

answers from Dallas on

L.,
I'm an ob/gyn nurse and a mother of two and wanted to let you know that the problem that you are having can be completely normal. During pregnancy and breastfeeding your body is depleted of estrogen which can cause the dryness. It can take up to a year for everything to get back in working order.

Foreplay (which can prove difficult with a new little one) with a good water based lubricant will help. The KY products are terrible. Try using Astroglide, they have started selling it at more stores. If you have a hard time finding it you can always go to an 'adult' store to get some.

Good luck!

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B.J.

answers from Dallas on

KY is really artificial. Try Astroglide. http://www.astroglide.com/ You can buy it in Kroger, Target, etc, and it's MUCH better. Also, be sure to participate in a lot of foreplay, oral sex, etc...it will help a lot. Good luck!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry to hear your problem! Try Eros (original)--it's the best lube in the world. KY, astroglide and everything else suck compared to this as far as I am concerned. You can find it at Condom Sense. It's not sticky/tacky and doesn't have an odor or taste, and can be used as massage oil as well.

Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Just an idea, but my midwife had us use olive oil to do peroneal massage when I was pregnant, so it would be safe, and natural to use. Hope that works! :)

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

I've had the same problem off and on since I had my son. You can try different kinds of lubricants until you find one you like. Also, just make sure you're good and ready before having sex, if you know what I mean, and it will help.

Merry Christmas!

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.,
Long time since I have been in that situation. However, the adult stores have some great lubes (even for those who do not need them) and who want to enhance and enjoy!! The adult stores have a lot of things that can enhance the moment!!! and fun!

They have water and silicone based lubes so you choose what is best for you.... They heave testers like all stores.....KY for one is an irritant for me. I have heard from friends (no experience personally) that canola oil is great.

The best spots in the Plano/Frisco/Allen area to get something without feeling weird or whatever going to that type of store are.....Sara's Secret ( in Plano at 75/Plano pkwy and Frisco Preston/Warren area), Candie Dandies (Plano at 75/15th), Zoned Erotica in (Richardson 75 and Beltline'ish, Plano at Tollway and Park).

All of these places are friendly for anyone coming in to shop. They have lots of things to enhance experiences from dressing, shoes, toys, etc. Give it a try

Also...a must is to ask you Dr. to make sure you are on track.

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

Dear L.,

First of all, talk to your doc about this. Most probably, she will have a solution. If not, try Astoglide. It even has one product that warms upon touching your body. It feels yummy! I used it for a while after my hysterectomy. Now, I take hormones and don't need it anymore, but when I did, there was only one problem. Sometimes my husband, who knew I was using it, would assume that because my body felt ready to his touch, I was ready. Sometimes, I would have to tell him I wasn't ready yet. Otherwise, it solved the problem. FYI--my doctor told me NOT to use KY!

Good luck!

Deb

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I second the recommendation for coconut oil. Great stuff!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry to hear about the difficulty! Have you started your period again? It may be that your hormones are still getting back to "normal" since the hormones that support breastfeeding also suppress ovulation and which suppresses lubrication as well. You can try using Aloe Vera gel or Aloe Vera oil as a lubricant since KY is giving you a yeast infection. Actually you can use several different oils, like sweet almond oil and even olive oil. You may also want to check out www.naturallyhealthy.org. This lady makes several natural solutions for vaginal issues, including lubricants.

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

try vitamin e oil-an get at kroger in make-up shampoo aisle (at least on on north beach). I had that trouble too, and it is amazing!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Search Pure Romance, it is a home based business company they have some good products, you could even host a show and see other things that may interest you...No I am not a consultant, but a friend was for a while and they have lots of options.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

You may have already thought of this, but I know for a lot of women, it's mental. Sike yourself up starting earlier in the day. Fix yourself up to look really nice even to yourself. Tell him you need to start slow with a lucious massage and lots of kissing (and other stuff if you know what I mean). Tell him to try and make you want it! Also, a shower too close beforehand might make the soap dry you out too much.
Also, an all-natural lubricant you might try is organic coconut oil- sold where cooking oils are sold. Coconut oil is antimicrobial, antioxidant, antifungal, AND antibacterial. It truly is good stuff for many many uses.
And on one more side note, a lot of times it's birth control or other medicines that can alter your body's hormonal balance so see if you can quit taking these things and see if that helps.

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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have a friend that just went to see a specialist about this same issue. First, did you have a laceration or tear when you had your baby? If it was a really bad tear, it could have lead to things not healing quite right. That wasn't the issue for my friend, however. She had an epidural that actually did some nerve damage and they think it is causing her to have muscle spasms with intercourse. Just some things to think about. Good luck!

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B.P.

answers from Abilene on

Definitely get your hubby treated for a yeast infection.

You probably have a hormonal imbalance. I can't remember what the specific hormone is that when it is off causes this, but it can be a very easy fix -- usually with Rx vaginal suppositories (sp?).

In the mean time, you might call your OB/Gyn Nurse and see if she could call in meds for your hubby (it would be worth a try).

Good Luck!

J.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am a Passion Parties Consultant and have Ultra Glide, formally known as Slippery Stuff. It is actually recommended by gyn's, I even asked my own and he said yes. There is another kind called Revelation that feels more like silicone even though it is water soluable. I have never had any complaints from either product. There are also other edible types but I would not recommend them for you since the extra ingredients may irritate your sensativeness. If you are interested, call me at ###-###-#### or email me off of this venue at ____@____.com
As I read through these one caught my attention, I have to warn you to NEVER use petroleum based products below the waist. They can cause infection for sure.
Thanks,
J.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

I developed the same problem in menopause. I found that a glycerin free personal lubricant works great. And my GYN said even a vegetable oil would be good, but we never tried it.
www.adameve.com has a glycerin free personal lubricant. It works great and lasts pretty well.
Don't be put off by the nature of the web site.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

All the other moms had great advice!! May I just suggest Astroglide? We have found it works better than KY.

It does get better!!

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

It definitely sounds hormonal....I used to be on Depo Provera, but after I got married we found this to be a HUGE issue....come to find out the shot was absorbing the hormone that provides natural lubrication. You may want to check out your hormones with your doctor too, especially if you are not on a birth control pill....

We did use some lubrication and it was at the 'adult' store...it was called 'Wet' and it worked great.

Good luck....

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

As others noted, it's probably a hormonal imbalance. Also, the yeast infection is likely because your husband is giving it to you. Husbands are VERY commonly asymptomatic carriers and you both need to be treated at the same time.

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R.J.

answers from Dallas on

I would try plain ol' vaseline or baby oil until you see your GYN! Because companies make all of those products to make you spend your money to make them rich!

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K.J.

answers from Dallas on

U might want to have ur husband tested for a test infection. Sounds like the two of u could be giving it back to each other. Also, if he uses condoms u could be allergic to the latex. I am not allergic to the latex gloves but I am to condoms. I get exact same symptoms that u have when my husband and I use to use them.

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A.E.

answers from Amarillo on

L.,
Bless you dear -- sex is a normal and natural function of humans, so don't give up.

Arbonne has a wonderful product called skin conditioning oil, that I swear by. e-mail me at ____@____.com, and I'll fill you in. If you don't like it, return it within 45 days, and I'll give you your money back.

Hang in there.
A.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Totally normal when breastfeeding...could be your hormones are still adjusting after that and the pregnancy. There's a product called Astroglide that works better than KY. Also, there is something the GYN can prescribe that mimics (or possibly encourages?) natural lubrication.

This too shall pass!

M.
"Too busy to eat well consistently? Visit my Mamasource profile to find out how my family does it."

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L.B.

answers from Dallas on

You may just need something to jump-start your lubricating juices. Talk with your doc about Vagifem or Estring. Either one of those should help.

In the meantime . . . I, like you, would get yeast infections from most of the lubricants. The very best one I found was called Liquid Silk and can be purchased from www.mypleasures.com.

Good Luck!

P.S. I see some have recommended Astroglide, but I found that to be thick and gummy.

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