Intercourse After Birth... Rather Indelicate Question...

Updated on February 22, 2011
J.J. asks from Alpharetta, GA
12 answers

Ladies, I'm having a problem and want to know if anyone else has ever had a similar issue and what you did about it? We never had this problem until having the baby 19 months ago. Recently, at least every other time we have 'relations' I seem to be tearing. That is, if my husband doesn't, excuse the phrase, hit the right spot exactly the skin between my vagina and clitoris (I guess is where it is) seems to split. It doesn't ever seem to heal properly. It's incredibly painful. The skin seems incredibly thin there. This time, I think I've developed some sort of infection as it's itchy and painful. I hate to have to go see my gyn for this, I'm so embarrassed to explain it, but if it doesn't clear up in the next few days I guess I'm going to have to. I Googled this and I got a lot of info about this happening if individuals are having 'rough' sex. But we are not. This is normal kinda stuff...

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T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

I have not had that, but I have noticed that we need lube to make it comfortable. After you heal, you may want to try using lube and directing him in.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Don't hesitate to see your doctor about this. They see things like this all the time in postpartum women and what you present with will not be that weird, unusual, or bizarre - it'll seem normal for them!

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

After tearing with all 3 pregancies i'm not normal down there.After sex ther are times when I have torn & it is noticeable I can feel & see it.Use lubrication your suppose to anyways after having a baby & if you tore naturally or by episotomy not using it will only cause more tearing uncomfortable sex then restart the healing process all over again.
If you think you have an infection call your Gyno it may not be I get red swollen & irrated when I have torn after sex rough or not I take a warm/hot shower afterwards cleaning gently sitting in the tub then not wear undies to bed or during the day when i'm at home,when itiching occurs I use Vagisil & after applying it twice in 1- 2 days it is all gone.

Updated

After tearing with all 3 pregancies i'm not normal down there.After sex ther are times when I have torn & it is noticeable I can feel & see it.Use lubrication your suppose to anyways after having a baby & if you tore naturally or by episotomy not using it will only cause more tearing uncomfortable sex then restart the healing process all over again.
If you think you have an infection call your Gyno it may not be I get red swollen & irrated when I have torn after sex rough or not I take a warm/hot shower afterwards cleaning gently sitting in the tub then not wear undies to bed or during the day when i'm at home,when itiching occurs I use Vagisil & after applying it twice in 1- 2 days it is all gone.

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

You should go get checked and don't be embarrassed they hear and see things all the time. It sounds like you might have not healed right or you could have something else going on. Is is possible you are not becoming lubricated enough. Are hormones are all over the place all the time especially during and after pregnancy it could be an estorgen issue causing dryness.

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

Its been 14 months since my DD was born and I can still feel that 'uncomfortable' feeling at times and depending on the position (Sry TMI). I was told to wait 6 weeks after the baby was born to resume having sex which we totally did because I was in major pain. I got 7 stitches and it took me about 3 months I think before I was actually comfortable to have sex again. I think everyone just heals differently. I would go see your Gyn just to talk it over with them and maybe they can offer suggestions. Dont be embarrassed, thats what they are there for.

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M.M.

answers from Columbus on

I had this issue too... I honestly felt as though they put an extra stitch in after sewing me up! I don't have any advice on fixing it though... mine just kind of went away on it's own... after a long time! You could just call the gyno and mention it... see if they have any advice over the phone? Sorry I couldn't be of more help!

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Tell your OB and ask for an estrogen cream to use to help heal the current tears and "strengthen" the tissues for the future. You can just apply a little daily for a few weeks and it should solve the problem. I had a tear a few years ago and an episiotomy during delivery and both times the cream helped immensely. Also, look for a good silicone-based lube, like KY's Intrigue. They are condom safe, stay slicker longer than water-based lubes like original KY and don't get sticky. Good luck!

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

Is it possible you have a vaginal prolapse (part of your vaginal wall is slumping inward)? Then it would be hit/scraped during intercourse. I would see your Gyn, do Kegal exercises and get the infection treated....and of course, use Lube and make sure you do enough foreplay. Good luck! I am so sorry you have to go through that. I had a slight one after my daughter (baby #1) but after I quit nursing and my hormones went back to normal, the prolapse decreased and the muscles strengthened do I didn't feel it as much.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Go see your gyn about this. No use being in pain if there's something that can be done.

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

I had some issues after having my daughter, vaginally. Turns out I had some scar tissue and the OB/GYN put some medicine on it that burned at first, but it ended up healing. Do you have a Yeast infection? Maybe or anything like that. You may want to go to the Gyn anyways to get it looked at. Relationships depend on that time together, so go get it checked out.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

With my first delivery I tore and they gave me an "extra stitch" , which I didn't ask for and wasn't asked about. Sex was terribly painful and I would re-tear in that spot... Honestly, it didn't get better until I had my second child and tore in the same spot and was stitched properly and allowed to heal the way I was supposed to. Since then sex has been just as it was before I had either of my kids. I would go see your gyn. and let them know what's happening. I am positive that they've seen this before and will be able to help you.

Good luck!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

See your OB ASAP so it can be taken care of. That area is fragile, especially after having a baby. You want to make sure everything's ok. Extra lubrication will probably help. I know I'm more sensitive around the area where I had a little tearing and the lubrication makes a HUGE positive difference. But you need to find out exactly what's going on and do what you need to do to make it better so you don't lose the joy of intimate time.

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