My 2 Yr Old Still Sleeps with Us.

Updated on February 20, 2008
J.G. asks from Fleming Island, FL
10 answers

I have a 2 yr old little boy named Tyler who I adore. He is our last child, and I can't seem to let him go. What I mean is that he is still sleeping with us. I breast fed him until he was 13 mo. I always just found it easier when he was in our bed, and he never slept well in his crib. Right before he turned 2 I bought him a big boy bed W/ cute bedding, and rails. I was so into having him sleep in his OWN BED. When it comes to his nap time I lay with him in our bed until he falls asleep, and at night time it's the same thing. I want him to sleep in his own bed, but knowing that this is our last child.....I'm finding it very difficult. Can anyone help me with this?

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M.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Every mammal does it. In particular for human's it's an emotionally positive thing for both the child and parents. Just like weaning from the breast or onto a potty-- they do it on their own.

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T.Q.

answers from Orlando on

J.,

I know how you feel...and my son is our first and only (so far)! To save money, we moved into a one-bedroom condo. I love having my son in the room while we sleep. He has his own bed and he goes to sleep in it, but he always ends up in our bed. I can't imagine having him in another room. He's still my little baby and it's so sweet to wake up and get to cuddle him. My husband and I both love snuggling him all night. If there is something wrong with that, I don't care. He's well adjusted and well behaved. He's learning and growing at a natural pace. He is a very confident and loving little boy. My husband and I make time for intimacy and our son rarely impedes. Our family is happy and full of love.

It sounds like your family is very loving as well. It's just like any change you make in life...you have to be sure it's what you want and commit yourself to the change. Don't feel bad if you're not ready. Be true to yourself and you'll figure out what to do.

Best wishes!

-T. Q

1 mom found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Let him sleep with you. I have 2 boys 18 and 7, my oldest slept with me until he was 10 and my youngest still sleeps with me ever night. Your children are precious, once they are grown up you can not bring that back. Both my sons because of it turned into loving secure boys. When I was growing up I was allowed to my mothers bed at anytime which made me more secure,protected and loved. I do the same with my children and there is nothing wrong with it. Imagine a 2 year old by himself in his bed without mommys familiar warmth in his own bed,room..and another boy who is in his mothers bed sleeping next to her feeling that love and warmth every night...There are no rules to this, do what feels right and knowing this is your last child savor every moment.. He will move in to his own bed when he is ready like mine did but not until they are ready. Don't deny him your warmth at night because what others think. You are his world..you are his mother...
PS:they don't sleep in your bed until they are 25 like one lady said and I have been married for 21 years and as long as you keep the hubby happy you won't hear him complain :)

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P.G.

answers from Orlando on

If you're not ready to get him out of your bed then perhaps it's not the right time. Just a thought....

My son slept with me until he was about 3 1/2, then he was moved to his own bed but ended up in mine most of the time. He is now 10 and has been rarely comes into my room at night. Only when he has a nightmare.

I guess I'm wondering what is motivating you to move him.

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T.P.

answers from Orlando on

We had the same problem with our daughter around the same age. What we did was to have her pick out a large stuffed animal to sleep with and made that her "protector".

The first few nights were ok, but she started to want to sleep with us again. We would then reminder her that she was now a big girl and needs her own big bed; and that her "lamby"(protector) was there for her while she sleeps. That seemed to work well.

Sometimes she asks us to sit next to her for a few minutes while she falls asleep in her bed, but she hasnt asked to sleep in our bed for a long time.

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B.K.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi. I have a 2.5 year old daughter and we co-sleep and still nurse. We practice attachment parenting. She has her own bed and loves to sleep in there. she does not like to sleep without me, so sometimes she sleeps with us in our king sized bed, and sometimes papa sleeps alone while I sleep with her in her bed which is our old double futon. Whatever gets everyone a good night's sleep is what works for us. One advantage of her loving her bed is that she goes to bed there and so my hubby and I can have intimate time in our bed after she goes to sleep.

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C.B.

answers from Orlando on

Hi J.,
I felt the same way...we have five, four boys and we had our princess at last. BUT...no matter how cute they are...it is still our responsibility to give them the right environment, teach and train. It gives children a great security when they learn to fall asleep on their own, pacify themselves and gain confidence in this stage. Otherwise we have 6 yr olds that still wake mommy each night to sleep in her bed! If your son is actually OK with it...GREAT...because it will help you in the process...if he was crying, you would perhaps give in every time for the sake of peace and compassion. No matter how "good" it feels to snuggle with the little man...its the best transition when you give them a routine of sleep/rest...and they learn to do it on their own..based on your schedule. compare differences with children who have this structure in their life vs those that don't! DAy and night! And you will be so thankful that you did...and yes, they will still snuggle....even at 13! :) so it never goes away!
Enjoy every day! Our kids are our greatest GIFTS from GOD!

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L.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

J.,

As difficult as it may be to let him grow up and be the big boy there has to come a time when you do. My daughters had a bad habit of coming into our room and crawling in bed with us. I found that when they didn't do this i slept better and so did my husband. It is going to take time and effort to break the habit but this does need to be done. This can not be helping your marital life with children in the bed. I know it works for some to co-sleep but i found it very difficult all the way around. I only have 2 girls but it was a blessing when i reclaimed my bedroom once again. I hope this helps you feel better about letting your 2 yr old start sleeping in his own bed. Consistency is the key for this to work.

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T.W.

answers from Orlando on

Some of the responses I agree with and some I don't and 1 in particular needs to really get a clue on raising kids.

I am in the same boat with my kids being 19, 13, 5. My youngest has his own room and his own bed and he was co- sleeping with us for a very long time for the same reason. He's our last and we wanted to hold onto that baby time as long as possible. We love him in there, but are growing tired of it all the time. Excuse the pun. He has the same routine as he has had all along with getting his bath, brushing his teeth, eating his vitamins, reading a story and then going to bed. He used to go to sleep just fine in his room (at age 4) and now all of a sudden he's frightened of noises in the night. We have a two story house and live close to the airport and there are always noises. So, what we do now is is that after all of his routine things I will lay with him in his bed until he falls asleep. If he gets up in the night to come and get in bed with me, I get up and take him back to bed and lay with him a bit till he's asleep and then I go back to bed. Most times it's easier than others. I have had to implement that he can get in bed with me after dad goes to work or when the sun comes up, if he comes in my room before that there is no dessert or soda the next day.
You really just have to find what works best for you.
You do need intimate time with hubby and that's hard to do when the baby is in there, but I am sure you can figure something out.
I say all of this to say that you do what you think is best for you and you son. If he sleeps with you a little while longer so what. He's going to like one lady said get out on his own and sleep in his own bed. It doesn't mental hurt a child for you to show it affection for a longer period of time that what is deemed NORMAL. And he won't be in your bed when he's 26 either.
Have fun being a mom and enjoy him being a baby as long as you can, they grow up so fast. And then you can't cuddle or smooch their little faces anymore. Well, technically you can but it's not the same.

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R.S.

answers from Orlando on

Me too J.! I have a 14yr, 11yr and 11 month. I know what happens next, they don't want you around when they turn teen! I don't care< night time is our special time and I love it. Still nursing too. I just have to make special time for daddy! I jump on his side in morning or night and love on him or he starts complaining about the baby sleeping with us. Do what you feel comfortable with. I slept with my oldest until 2 1/2 or 3 and he is brilliant and socially mature. Don't worry.

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