Mother's Day Awkwardness

Would you rather think of her sitting at home all alone feeling lost and lonely? Invite the woman! She may want to share stories of her and her mother and will probably appreciate feeling like she still has family that cares.

In a situation like this, always lean to INCLUSION, not exclusion.
You might feel awkward--channel it into making her feel welcome.

Personally, I would absolutely invite them. Having lost her mother just this year is all the more reason to give her something nice to do and a reason to look forward to the day. Although the reason for the celebration is in fact Mothers Day, once you are together won't it just be good conversation and a small family get together? Put your awkwardness aside.

How does including her make your celebration of your mother awkward? Just because her mom is dead? She still loved her and wants to celebrate her. have a heart.

Do what your mom wants. I think it is nice that she wants to include your cousin so she isn't alone on her first mother's day without her mother.

Celebrating the memory of your mother is still a wonderful thing, I would invite them and not stress about it.

why would you want to effectively punish/exclude someone due to circumstances beyond her control(ie her mother is dead)?... your mom shouldn't have to resort to guilting you, it's mother's day, if nothing else, do it because it's YOUR mother's wish...

I think it would be lovely to include her. You can't stop all functions because she has lost her mother. I'm sure she has lost others in her life, and well, you just have to go on. The world doesn't stop. You can be loving a compassionate towards her, and offer your sympathies again, and go on with the day. Happy Mothers Day to you too!!

Show some real empathy and kindness toward this woman whose own mother has died. Why is it awkward for YOU if she's the one who lost her mom? Many people mark Mother's Day when their mothers are dead, frankly. Your mom is trying to make Mother's Day better for this woman -- not trying to make it awkward. Are you worried maybe that the cousin/godmom will burst into tears or get upset or something like that? Well, that might indeed be awkward -- but it would also be a testimony to how much she misses her mom. Please don't let her sit at home alone missing mom; include her in your plans. Unless every other sentence at your brunch is about mothers, it's unlikely that she'll melt down. And even if she does -- how about some empathy for her?

Is the real issue that you're hurt and upset that your own mom was saying this lady will "be your mother" someday and that your mom referred to her own mortality? That's never easy to hear, that your mother realizes she will die and you have to realize it too...But she did not literally mean she's going to require you to take on this lady as your surrogate mother. She's just meaning that your godmother is someone she hopes you'll treat fondly because your mom's fond of her. Isn't it possible that your own feelings about your mom's statement -- especially the "when I'm dead" part -- are making you balky about inviting someone whom it really won't hurt to invite?

My mom died seven years ago and I'd give a lot to have her back any day, not just Mother's Day, but I'd want to do whatever made her happy and that would include inviting someone she cared about enough to ask me to invite.

I would just invite them.

It's only one day a year. Invite the woman.

Not sure what the awkward part is.
Your mother can say this god mom will be like your mother when your mom dies, but it does not make it true.

No one can replace our mothers, unless we allow it. À

Invite her.
Or she will be all alone.

You are feeling perhaps, burdened with having to do "Mother's Day" for other Moms/the cousin the Godmom etc. But yet you are a Mom yourself and may want your "own" Mother's Day with your own nuclear family.
Well so do that, at another time, on that same day, perhaps. Tell your Husband. Do the thing with your Mom/the others. Then when it is over, everyone go home and then you have your day.

See the thing is, we are all Moms.
But yet, we have a Mom too. Hopefully.
So then, we Moms need to do Mother's Day for our Mom, too.
But yet, where is our "own" day, for Mother's Day????
Meanwhile, we are all planning and doing, a Mother's Day day, for our Mom etc. and not having any "day off" to just do nothing or do our own private thing and we are cooking/cleaning/taking out our Mom for Mother's Day. And it is like any other day. Maybe.
Maybe it is only me, but that is how I feel sometimes. I get no Mother's Day per say especially for me. Because, I am the one doing and planning and creating a Mother's Day day event, for MY own Mom. And which my siblings EXPECT me, to do. And then, even if I am a Mom too, I really don't have a special day. Because I am busy trying to make it a special day, for my own Mom.
Anyway, here I am ranting too.
Oh well.

Invite them and celebrate who they are. Love should always multiply never divide.

My Mom passed about 2.5 yrs ago. For her last birthday we all went out for dinner and the band I was working with played the same venue that night. My son and I left out dinners and set up the band and went back and finished dinner. Then we took Mom and my kids and grandkids out to listen to the band for a while. They played Happy Birthday and really made a fuss over my Mom. I was so happy I made sure her last birthday (94) was a big one.

You will never regret making someone happy.

Good for you that you are inviting her. Yeah, kinda sucks but you are doing the right thing. Think of it as a present to yourself! It will make you feel good in the long run. Happy Mother's Day!!!

1. You can stick to your original plans for only your mother and your husband's mother.

2. You can graciously invite her/them and continue with YOUR traditional plans to honor your mothers.

Either one is fine, just depends on what you want to do. With all due respect to you elders, this event is designed around your mother and your husband's mother. Anybody else who insists on joining you should be prepared to fall in line with YOUR agenda. I mean, it's not like you'd be randomly discussing the greatness of mothers. It is specifically a Mother's Day brunch held on Mother's Day. It's the whole reason for the event. If she can't handle that, then she is not ready to be around other people during this season.

I do not mean to be insensitive. I have multiple people close to me experiencing this loss. I would not mind doing somethng with any of them on this day to lighten the load, but I would not invite them to a Mother's Day brunch--where I'd be celebrating my mother--unless they were prepared to go with THAT agenda. No hard feelings either way.

I do understand why you feel this is awkward, unlike so many of the other ladies. Sometimes we just want special occasions to be the way they have always been for us.

But like everyone else says, including a widow is the right thing to do.

I'm glad you told your mom that she can't be replaced. If she keeps bringing this subject up about the other lady, ask her not to. Tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable.

How is this awkward? You are sounding selfish. You only want to celebrate your mother. Motherless people should be alone on that day? One day you will be motherless and one day your children will be motherless. Hopefully, their peers will not exclude you or them on that special day.