Graduation Party Invitation Ettiqute

Updated on March 29, 2008
B.M. asks from Fishers, IN
32 answers

How would you word a graduation party invitation when....the party is at the home of the graduates mom and step dad, the father and the step mother are invited. The mom and the dad have been divorced for 7 years, but thought of putting both of their emails and phone numbers on for rsvp since both will be mailing out invites to individual family members. Where does this leave the step parents, do you include their names? Confused!

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F.R.

answers from Columbus on

Hi B.!
Technically the only names on an invite should be the birth mother and father. But now days many poeple feel the need to include the "step" parents. You do have a couple options tho...Is it formal? or just a bbq in the back yard? For something more formal...I would use -

" The Smiths & The Whites" would like to invite you to celebrate the commencement of their son/daughter ____ at place, time and date.

or informal

"The Parents (this way everyone is included) of son/daughter invite you to celebrate his/her graduation. Party will be at----, time and date.

the rsvp # should be only of the people involved in hosting the party. if this includes both sets of parents, then both names and #s should be on the invite. Although both partyies should be in aggreement of this.

Hope this helps, Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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M.W.

answers from Evansville on

Maybe you should ask the graduate how he/she wants it listed - you may get an answer. My husband and I did this for our wedding invites - both of our parents are divorced. Our wedding invitations only had my parents and his parents listed... John Doe and Mary Doe (separate since they are divorced - Mary has not remarried). Then for his side it was Bob Jones and Sally Smith (they have both remarried). We are not the children of the step-parents, so it was not their place to be doing the announcing. That pride belongs to our parents.
The step-parents didn't invite anyone that their spouse didn't know... so the RSVP was just fine going to our parents. Nobody was offended.
On my graduation invites, the parents names weren't listed-just my name.
Watch out someday though... you should have seen the birth announcement for our twins! We almost had to take out a whole page in the newspaper to include everyone : )
Hope this helps - it was from "the kids who also have step-parents" point of view.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

Couple of things...

If you are doing an open house type of party, you could list it as just that on the invitation. "Open house to be held on May 1, 2008 at 123 Your Street from 1pm until 5pm."

On the other hand, if you are doing something more formal, you could list everyone in the "given by" or "RSVP" section in a mannor as follows:

Mr. & Mrs. (Mom's last name)@ ###-###-#### or [email protected]____.com
&
Mr. & Mrs. (Dad's last name)@ ###-###-#### or [email protected]____.com

Get it?

1 mom found this helpful
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V.M.

answers from Canton on

Hi B..
We just did this so here it goes..
Yes add your name B. ------mother and stepfather -----
and ------father and --------stepmother
if doing 2 different invitations to his friends and your friends etc.....
whoever sends out the invites put your email or # down for RSVP's then figure out together how many. Keep a list and there #'s so you can check with them 2 weeks before to see if they are coming because people are rude and do not respond to the RSVP's so you might need to call to confirm yes or no.
Keep it simple, you and your ex remember this is your childs day. Always enclude stepparent names as they are family now whether you like it or not.. fotunatly my ex and his wife and my husband and I are great friends weird but it works.. specially for all the kids. good luck.
Valarie

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

B.,

As I have just completed my degree in Bridal Consultanting & Party Planning we were taught that invitations that have divorced parents should read as follows:

The families of Graduates Name
would like to invite you to a party
in honor of Graduates Name celebrating he/she graduation from high school or college name.

And since the party is being held at your home then your email or phone number should be listed on the invitation. Having more than one contact person will make thing complicated. And the family members from your husbands side will understand. Some people will RSVP at the last minute so make sure when you are planning for the food add a couple of extra to your count. If you have any more questions please email me at [email protected]____.com.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I think I would just word it as:
You are invited to the Open House for (childs name)
date, time, address, and the rsvp # or e-mail at the bottom.(to your house, since you will be the one needing to know how many to account for) You dont have to list parents names, this should focus on your child's accomplishments!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi B. M.,
My Name is M. L. I am a Event Co-oedinator 'Mels Magic Moments'. I say it is ok to put both sets of parents names on the invitations. If everyone gets along and doesn't argue over whos name is on top there should be no problems. I am sure that if everyone has helped raise this child and wants what is best for the child this solution is perfectly fine. Remember this day is to celebrate this childs accomplishments not the parents differences. I have a daughter that graduated last year what a joy for me. Enjoy the day, relax and most of all have fun.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Muncie on

I agree to make it about the graduate...have you asked the future graduate what she/he wants? My son just sprung on me 2 weeks ago that he doesn't want me (his mom and step-dad whom he lives with and has had most contact with) to have anything after his graduation (no open house, etc.). Instead, he is having an open house with his cousin (on his dad's side) a week later. I am going against his wishes and having a "reception" after graduation (as I'll have family in from all over the state and they'll need to eat after graduation) and I told my son if he doesn't choose to come, then he doesn't get the gifts. It's that simple. It's a matter of choices and respect. In regards to the invitations I'm doing, I'm sending out graduation invitations (to the ceremony) and then putting the "reception following" at my house and "combined open house with Blah and Blah" on "date". It all gets confusing and emotional when dealing with this hectic time....good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Dayton on

Hello B.,

While I agree with this is definately all about the graduate. You have two choices.. Use the graduates name on the invite, as he/she is inviting everyone and put yours and your ex's e-mail addresses as the rsvp. Or Use yours and your spouses and your ex's name and his spouse. As another person answered that on wedding ivitations that the step parents shouldn't be listed. I think that is WRONG! Talk about shoving someone to the side and maiing them feel left out! They KNOW they are step parents, but that does not mean they are any less proud of that child! And being thew signifigant other in your household and his, they should be included, if you are going to go that way.
My husband is the step parent in our home, and I would NEVER leave him out of a important situation like this. So if someone had "step" children, would that person leave them out of being in let's say a wedding because they are not REAL siblings. Go with what your heart tells you. If all else fails, use the graduates name as the person who is inviting them to his/her special day with both parents e-mails.

Good luck!
T.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.J.

answers from Toledo on

Easy the invite is from ALL parents the response to the TWO parents is appropriate enough. Even if the e-mail wnet to the stepparetn (because the parent does not have an account) what metters??

Nana

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J.W.

answers from South Bend on

Here is one suggestion for wording:

"Together with his family, John Doe [name of graduate] would like to invite you to celebrate his graduation from [name of school] at [time] on [date] at [place]."

Many wedding invitations are worded like this.

At the bottom you can say: "Kindly RSVP to either blank or blank by [date]. It seems to me as if people will RSVP to the person they know the best, so it doesn't have to be awkward. Plus, if these are friends, they probably know the family situation of the graduate and the parents.

Hope this helps.

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R.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

Coming from a divorced family I understand how hard it was for my parents. Invitations get really wordy when you are trying not to offend anyone. Personally, I think it is fine if you put it "the parents of (child's name here) invite you to (blah, blah, blah)" or you could even say "(graduate's name) invites you..." and rsvp to just the mother's name since she is hosting. The number of guests that respond may get lost in the shuffle if there are separate people to respond to.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Just like the boughten invitations, you can put what, when, where, and given by: (include names of parents and stepparents here).

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D.B.

answers from Terre Haute on

You do it just like a wedding invitation.
"Mr. & Mrs. ??? and Mr. & Mrs. ??? invite you to their daughter's name/son's name graduation party"...etc.
My parents are divorced and that is how we did my wedding invitation. You can also be less formal and put just parents first names.
D.

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M.B.

answers from Lima on

Call a print shop in your area. They handle this all the time.

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K.H.

answers from Mansfield on

If the father and step mother are giving money to off set the cost of the graduation party in the invitation you would word it as party "given by: (fill-in blank of both couples)".
If the father and step mother are not contributing to the cost of the party, then you list them in the rsvp line. People that are more comfortable with which ever parent can respond to them.
K. H.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

If everyone gets along I see no reason NOT to include the steps on the invites.

Are both sets of parents paying equally for the party?

You see the same thing in wedding announcements. I have even seen both step and biological mothers' of the bride or groom walked down the isle together. Same with both fathers' giving away the bride.

It's wonderful how some families can come together for their children while others stab each other in the back for years.

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T.M.

answers from Terre Haute on

Just to cover all the bases, I would put the party is given by Mr. & Mrs. male first name and then last name and Mr. & Mrs. the other parents. On the place, simply put the address. On the RSVP I would put down the phone numbers of both homes. Some people still do not have internet access for whatever reason. A phone call is a bit more personal. With the modern technology of answering machines and such, you shouldn't miss any of your rsvp's. Hope this helps! Shannon

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J.N.

answers from Indianapolis on

Grad's name along with his/her parents:
Mother
Step Parents
invite you to share in celebrating (Grad's name)graduation Open House
(then give details; example: Place, date, time)

The favor of a response is requested by (give date)

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J.F.

answers from Cleveland on

My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs and he has custody of his children and we have one child together. If we are throwing the party we have always put our e-mail or phone # as the rsvp. We even did this for his daughters sweet sixteen. I don't think it leaves out anyone, if yu are throwing the party then it should be you who knows who is or isn't coming. We have never had any problems in this situation.
Good Luck!

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A.P.

answers from Dayton on

Hi B.,
I am a product of divorce-
Make it about your daughter. When I start reading all the names of parents on invitations- instantly I am thinking about the divorce and not the guests of honor. Same thing for weddings.

And 1 rsvp should be good. Make it easy If they are coming to your house- they surely can rsvp to you.
Good luck,
A.

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K.T.

answers from Cleveland on

This is what we did for our wedding invitations to include both of our families without getting to wordy:

The family of (insert graduates name) invite you to celebrate....

You are all family and this includes everyone.

Personally, I would put one number to RSVP for convenience, but if you would like to list both, just put RSVP by (date) to Name & Number or Name & Number.

Hope the party is wonderful!

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C.G.

answers from South Bend on

This is for the child there is no need to put any parents names on the invite. Just put the two emails as the RSVP and be done with it. Only wedding invitations have parents names on them and that really isn't necessary either. Just put the child's name date, time and place with the RSVP and send them out. And the stepparents should accept whatever is put on the invite.

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A.W.

answers from Toledo on

I think that the step-parents should be mentioned. It doesn't take anything away from you or the father since you both decided to get re-married. Have you discussed this with your ex-husband? Obviously you get along well enough to have a combined party for your child. Although only "step" parents they have had a parental role in your child's life so I feel they too should be mentioned.

Good Luck!

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C.W.

answers from Columbus on

This is not a wedding, this is a graduation party, so the wording is not that hard. RSVP to the people who are having it in their home. They are the functional hosts. Are you trying to add everyone's names?

Then "Bobby Smith, son of Martha and Jack Jones and Shirley and Robert Smith". People know how to read the wording in this.

Congrats to the grad!!

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T.P.

answers from Canton on

I think I'd do the RSVP like this: Jane & John <~that would be you & stepdad with your contact info. Then Bob & Mary <~that would be dad and stepmom & their contact info. That would probably be the best way to handle it, that way no one is left out, feelings hurt, etc. The less drama, the better, right? lol

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D.I.

answers from South Bend on

There is nothing wrong with having all four of you on the invitations. You and your ex have been divorced for several years now and both have moved on. The step parents are just as much in the kids lives as the parents and they should be allowed to have their names on the invitations as well.
D.

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D.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi B.:
I was a party planner for many years.
The host and hostess home of the party are the ones who are putting the party on.
When a father and step mother are invited, it makes everyone uncomfortable regardless of the situation
The best idea is to actually have separate parties for the child that way there is no fighting or ill feelings.
Back to the wording
You need not even mention the names
YOu could say
"Celebration of Graduation"
Tracey Mcgee has made it to the next step!
Please come to (address) and celebrate with
us her wonderful accomplishments.
Date; xxx
Time: xxx
RSVP (hostess house telephone only)
that way you can keep tabs on one list.
If the dad and step mom would like to help pay for the party, except the money graciously.
No one has to know who is doing what if you dont mention names.
Hope this helped

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B.W.

answers from Cleveland on

B.,

Make it about the graduate, not the parents. If the only thing that mentions the parents is the rsvp, it shouldn't be a big deal.

Tell your graduate congratulations. I am sure it is a proud moment for everyoone involved.

bjw

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J.P.

answers from Evansville on

What my parents did (about 10 years ago!!!) was something along the line of:
Jane and Tom Smith (mom and step dad)
and
John and Beth Jones (dad and step mom)
invite you to celebrate blah blah blah.

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K.T.

answers from Columbus on

If the party is at your house you need only to put your name for rsvp. It would be proper to put both the mother and fathers names on the invitation. As involved as a step-parent may be that is all they are.

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

I would do RSVP to just the hosts number. Two or more RSVP people get confusing. Some people will still RSVP to other people, like the fathers mother or fathers brother or fathers friends.

Mr & Mrs Lastname1
&
Mr & Mrs Lastname2

Invite you to the graduation party of First Middle Last

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