Marriage Vows:

Updated on September 22, 2010
M.B. asks from Antelope, CA
7 answers

Does anyone know the true married vows?

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

The priest didn't put obey in our vows. However, I looked at the wording and literally interpreted for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and health until death do us apart. There are going to be times when all of these words will need to be looked at and what you really meant at the time of the ceremony.

Many people now days don't really look at the words and say them sincerely. You two have come together to be one unit of two - a real partnership or as a business relationship. Each is responsible for portions of the marriage sometimes one more than the other but each is responsible. And remember only you can make you happy so take some time for yourself and make a dedicated date night for you two to remember why you married each other.

The longer you are together the easier it should become but that may not be the case. Respect and trust each other and above all else COMMUNICATE daily to each other. If and when there are children decide how the two of you are going to raise them mutually. Plan goals to do together 5, 10, 20 year so that you have something to strive for.

Remember tomorrow is not promised.

The other S.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I think the "true" vows are the ones two people take, however they are said, and really, really mean them.

I think many people these days are leaving out the "obey" part.
It was usually only "vowed" to by the woman.

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B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

For Better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us apart. That was ours,beautiful ,oh the memories LOL
B.

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M.L.

answers from Pittsfield on

our wedding vows were from some ancient tradition (i'm sorry - off the top of my head after a long day i don't remember the details, but if you really want to know - I can get that info for you)
It was this - very meaningful to us and we've been asked for details on it a few times now.....

Officiant: Speak now your vows to each other. Repeat after me (to bride):

Your freedom is my freedom. (she repeats)
Your chains are my chains. (r).
Your heart is my heart. (r.)
Your tribe is my tribe. (r.)
Your kin is my kin. (r.)
Your joy is my joy. (r.)
Your sorrow is my sorrow. (r.)
Your hopes are my hopes. (r.)
Your hand is bound to mine. (r.)
I hereby pledge myself to you as wife, and through you I honor all men
and all gods.

Repeat after me (to groom):
(he repeats same vows, replacing ending as so)

I hereby pledge myself to you as husband, and through you I honor all
Women and all goddesses. (r.)

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello M., Having been an event planner and helped with 200 weddings and having 4 children so far get married I have a little different twist on some of what has been said. I have seen many things said at weddings depending on who is performing the ceremony. Generally a minister will talk about the marriage covenant as a part with out pride and when all of my children were married they chose to have the love, honor, desire one anothers best and obey all in it. It was explained to the guests that being obedient is not a passive role but one of strength and passion. Obedience is expected in many areas of our life and in marriage if the husband is to be the head/leader of the home and the wife the heart/common sence, it takes agreement and working together and if there is a differance until it reaches a agreeable match to be obedient to the husbands wishes is the intent. It by no means in any place I have ever found written unless by a person that is ignorant stated that it means blind, thoughtless following his every demand. Not even God, takes away the free will of people!
Vows are a reminder that you are making a committment for life and not until it is not convient or the bills get over whelming, and the children are crying day and night or we can't party anymore becasue of debt. None should be made or spoken lightly. I can say that with 40 years of being with my husband who I love greatly it wasn't always fun but as he got ill and was dying I was eternally grateful we did not do the part of til death do us part, so that I can know our vows are meant forever and we had the for better and worse becasue we were reminded of it often for strength.
I wish you great joy and happiness in your search for the right vows for you.

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L.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I (name) take thee (name) to be my lawful wedded (wife, husband)
I promise to be true to thee alone
To have and to hold, to honor and cherish (this is where obey came in)
For better and for worse, in sickness and in health
As long as we both shall live (or, until death do us part)

yes, very sweet memories. :-)

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