I'll Be Away from My Boys for 5 Days, Any Helpful Suggestions

Updated on September 19, 2008
L.B. asks from Ontario, CA
19 answers

I am going to visit my grandparents in Idaho with my dad and sister. This is the first trip i have taken ALL by myself since I've had my wonderful children (3yrs and 2yrs). I am excited but worried how they will handle it. They've never been away from me for more than 1 night. They're grandma will be taking them to her house for that time (my husband is a full-time student or he would be watching them). My boys are used to her and her home, they always love going out to grandma's house. Any advice in making their stay more comfortable for both children and grandma? all will be greatly appreciated!
thank you

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So What Happened?

thank you for all of your ideas! it helped a ton, and yes, it was harder on me than it was on the boys. since they were with their grandma and gradpa, they were comfortable. plus having an uncle and aunt around helped too. i gave them each a pix of our family and wrote a note on the back for each. (grandma said this helped a ton). plus i wrapped 'gifts' for each day i was gone. that way when they opened the last one, they knew they would see me that day! the gifts were things i had around the house that they could do with grandma, i.e. brownie mix, pipe cleaner and beads (to make a bracelet), color pencils and paper. they enjoyed it a lot!

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D.C.

answers from Boise on

I would suggest that each child have their own very special item. For my daughter it was always her favorit blancket. Hope this helped a little.

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M.M.

answers from Great Falls on

How about following THIS example, L. :) !
http://www.flickr.com/photos/littlerosyrunabout/2830625120/

(my pen-and-photo name is Nirava, I left a comment there also:
ad I would repeat, that I have never seen more creative and helpful solution to such situations...

Wishing all of you the best time in this time of 'apart~ness",
it's a new experience for all of you !!! Best, M.

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C.H.

answers from Boise on

When my kids did this they made a vacation book for me. They took pictures of everything they did and told my their granny what to write. This helped them feel connected to me. I also build in a lot of breaks for my parents because we all know how exhausting two toddlers can be. I had a Junior High girl come over to their house after school and play with the kids outside. I also had one of my friends come over during the morning twice and do a play date giving Granny a chance to lie down. If they are staying the night maybe have an Aunt or our Husband come over one or two nights to get them down. No matter how energetic the grandmother is the kids are more so!
Have a great time and I am sure they will also

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E.A.

answers from San Francisco on

When my husband and i went on Vaca, my friend who was watching my saughter showed her a map of where we were, and told her what we were doing everyday on the map. She really enjoyed it. Maybe you could print some info sheets on idaho so that they could learn a little bit about it. Make potatoes, maybe start a potato vine in the kitchen. I'm sure it will go fine, but just some ideas.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Read five favorite stories into a cassette player, one for each night; if you have a nanny cam, and your grandparents do, too, get on the internet and sing some songs with them, or just record them with the stories. If kids can hear a parent's voice, they don't get so lonely. They can listen to the stories over and over again, and feel at home. Don't forget to say I love you over and over again, and tell them what good boys, big boys they are, and make the whole thing an adventure for them. You deserve the break, and so do they! Have a great time.

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi L.,
I think it is often times more difficult on the parent than the child! Especially since they are going to grandmas where they are comfortable. A few familiar toys, stuffed animals...your phone # in their pocket and I think you are good to go. Make sure you don't make them uneasy because you are uneasy. Be excited that they get this time with grandma and enjoy your trip. I know how hard it is to be away from your kids but again they will most likely do better than you!
Good luck,
SarahMM

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M.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

HI L.,

A couple of ideas to help kids while away are: recording yourself reading their favorite stories so that each night you are away, they can be read a night time story by mom.

Another idea is to buy a gift (dollar store works great for stuff like this or simple candy) 1 gift gets opened for each day you are gone. They get to open it at night so that each day they are well behaved they get their gift. You could write the number on the gift--#1 for day 1, #2 for day 2...until the last day and that is the biggest gift.

Also, try packing some comfort items for them such as their blanket, favorite toy, maybe a special cup they really use a lot. A family photo in a frame can be helpful for children to have with them. It can be comforting to see your picture when they really miss you.

You could have a toy phone and they could "Call" you when they are missing you.

Good luck! They will be fine. Have a great trip!
:) M.

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M.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

L.,

Take their favorite toys, and expecially any night time things that they have routinely every night.

Between now and when you leave, be sure and talk happy talk about spending time with grandma. How your jealous they get to stay with her, and how much fun they will have, and the need to be big boys and help grandma.

The first night will be the hardest, and then they should be fine. But be sure when dad has the time to go see them, that he does.

Good luck and have fun.
M.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Thankfully at that age they aren't too aware of a week as opposed to two days. I would maybe have a little surprise given to them from you each morning they wake up, something fun to look forward to with a little note. Like go get some matchbox cars or something little and fun and have their grandma give it to them and read the note at breakfast every morning. Phone calls are great and if you can do webcam.

I am sure they will be fine and it is actually a very good thing to do at this age, as I wasn't away from my kids until later overnight and it was a little more difficult. I truly believe once they see you return it builds up a great trust and they are a lot more flexible with you doing this stuff without them. Change helps kids grow sometimes. I found out the hard way, hee hee. I was too rigid in our routine and it wasn't a good thing.
I waited too late to break away for a night or two and it was harder because they weren't sure about going away overnight somewhere else.
It is actually a good thing you are doing for them. Moms need breaks too!!! Have a good time.

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T.M.

answers from Pocatello on

I just left my 2 year old daughter over the long Labor Day weekend Fri-Mon and I was worried. You know what she and my husband did great! I was renewed by my trip to visit my best friend in California who just had a new baby. It was wonderful! Enjoy and don't worry. They will do great!

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K.P.

answers from Boise on

A couple of years ago I had to leave for a week for my grandpa's funeral in Texas. I live in Idaho, so that is a long way away from my kids. They were 4 and 2 at the time, and my husband was great! He picked out a special doll for our daughter and a special toy (Power Ranger) for our son. He gave them the special gifts after they dropped me off at the airport. It really helped to keep their minds off the fact that Mommy was not home. I did talk to them a few times each day that I was gone. I couldn't bare not to. When my husband and kids picked me up from the airport a week later, my husband had a beautiful bouquet of flowers in hand and my kids were very excited to show me their new special toys. I like Deb's idea for grandma to give them special gifts from you each day and read a special note at breakfast. I know it is scary being away from your kids for an extended period of time, but Grandma raised either you or your husband(you didn't say whose mom she is)and you guys turned out fine. I'm sure she will be able to handle your little ones perfectly. She's a mom too! By the way, bring an assortment of clothing. The weather is a little crazy right now. It's in the upper 80's to low 90's, but by this weekend we are going to be back down in the 70's. There's no telling what the weather might do while you are here. Enjoy your visit, and don't worry too much.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I am recently divorced, well, over a year. I found that my childred feel more comfortable when they their own things, blankets, toys, stuffed animals and such. I'd call them every night if you can, even though they are young, they'll hear your voice. Good luck and have fun!!!!

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K.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi L.,

You are lucky you have lots of support and that your kids love to be with their grandma!
My husband and I used to tend children of couples in our church who were traveling. It was so much easier for their children when their moms would leave fun little surprises for them to open through out their time away. One mom left 10 little wrapped packages on the mantle and each one was labled with a day and a time to open. It was so fun for her kids to look forward to the activity contained inside, instead of worrying when mommy would be back (they knew when the last package was opened, mom would be back that day) - - one package contained brownie mix to mix-up, to bake and eat another one was a can of shaving cream to play with on the plastic tablecloth on the kitchen table - I thought is was a great idea and I have used it for my kids when I have gotten to travel "alone" when they were young.
Have a great trip, enjoy yourself and trust your kids are doing great while you are away!

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K.W.

answers from Boise on

Each time I've left my kids overnight or for up to 3 days with either my husband only or with my mother, I've been a total mess and they're fine! The kids look forward to the fun that grandma brings and the toys at her house, which are different from ours. The one thing I did on my last trip of three days that worked out great was that I put some "kisses" in thier suitcase. I took a piece of tissue paper (like for presents) and cut it into small pieces (like maybe 2" x 2"). Then, with the kids present, I put on bright red lipstick and kissed each paper to leave a lip print. I put those in their suitcase and they could then take out a kiss whenever they needed it! They also wanted to do the same for me, so I had kisses in my suitcase, too. Truth be told, they showed them to my mom, but didn't "use" any! I did use mine! :) Enjoy your trip.

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N.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am glad you can go away! Enjoy yourself! What I do is I write the kids "love notes" for each day I'm away and enclose a small toy or treat. I put their names and the date on an envelope for each day I'm gone and have Grandma give them the envelopes daily.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Make sure you remember they are in good hands and enjoy yourself. You'll be more miserable than they will. Grandma will most likely dote on their every whim and be exhausted when you get back. But, they will have fun and so should you!!

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I live in Idaho, and this past June, we all went to Arizona, where grandma lives. We'd lived there up until a year ago, so my 4 year old remembered it, but the 1 year old didn't. I left from there to go to Texas to visit my brother. I was gone for 5 days, too.
I was worried. I packed the boys' blankies and lovies, and I made sure that Grandma knew how to make their favorite lunch (and I went out and bought the stuff, since she didn't usually have it). I also made sure that they knew they could call me on my cell phone any time.
I shouldn't have worried. They had so much fun at Grandma's! She took them to the park and the mall and she has different toys and cable tv...The two year old cried as they dropped me off at the airport, but I guess that lasted all of 30 seconds. And they didn't cry the whole time I was gone. They were happy to see me again, but it wasn't anything desperate. They weren't really clingy or anything.
Good luck!
I think they'll do just great!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We have to do this more often then I'd like to admit. One thing that's very helpful is having a wide variety of toys there. Thankfully both sets of grandparents have that for us. The biggest help for us, even if it's just one parent gone, is making a calendar of the days you're going to be gone. Make it simple, but put the significant parts of the day in. For us that's Breakfast, Lunch, Nap, Dinner, and Bedtime. As the kids do each even, they put a sticker on the calendar. When the calendar is all full, mommy and/or daddy come home. Our two year old does stickers at random, but the calendar still helps. We also call to talk when we get a chance. Right now we're on day 7 away from the boys and we've only talked once. As a mom I prefer to talk more often, but it's easier on the boys if it's less often. Usually only once depending on the length of the trip. We left Thursday, talked Tuesday, and see them Friday. It will most likely be tougher on you than it is on them. GL!

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S.W.

answers from Denver on

My mother did the coolest thing for us when we were kids (thank you for reminding me of this because now I can use this in my own life!). When she and my dad would go out of town, she would leave a bag full of wrapped gifts (think dollar store). If we had behaved that day, we could draw a gift from the bag and open it. We loved it! We actually tried to behave AND we didn't think about missing them too much because we were always so excited about the thought of the gift at the end of the day!

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