Give yourself time to grieve your loss but don't get stuck in it. To avoid getting stuck try doing something special for someone in need. Perhaps volunteering to give out toys to children or participating in a church's holiday activities may help.
It is time to make your world larger instead of smaller. Try getting involved in an activity, or learning a new hobby, or join a group or even have your children join a group or participate in an activity which would give you a chance to meet some new people.
Keep a diary and write down what you want your life to be. Be as detailed as possible. I would strongly recommend counciling. With the right counselor it will be very helpful, enlightening and life changing in a positive direction.
Even a woman's group at your local church could be helpful. Others have been right where you are now. Life gets better but it all begins with you. So love yourself enough to take care of yourself and your little one and keep moving forward to the future you want for yourself. Let Trav go because he wants to go and don't look back.
Get your financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual houses in order and as you work on those things, you will find you have so much more to do than just cry your eyes out. There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. So cry for now because you need to cry, plan your work and work your plan. Peace to you. I really hope this helps.
UPDATED
Just read your SWH. There is a saying about leading a horse to water but not being able to make it drink. You want this to work. He clearly does not. Other women are telling you wise things to keep you from wasting any further time, effort and energy probably because they have been there before. You can't make him love you. You can't make him want to work things out.
The real deal is that men love the chase. They don't really want a woman that will let them do whatever however without being checked or called on the carpet for it. My mother gave me this wise advice when she saw me in a very difficult relationship, "Love those people that love you." At first I didn't get it and tried to make that thing work. The guy just wanted to be controlling and manipulative and was very insecure. That thing was never going to work. When I learned to want more for myself and my future, I learned to expect to be treated very well and it took a very long time but I'm now married to an amazing man that respects me, loves me and would never treat me like the one that wasn't nice to me.
Life is very short. I understand you want to make this work but it working takes two and he doesn't want to be with you so find someone who does and in the meantime and between time be good to yourself, get some hobbies and a plan for life without Trav since he doesn't want to continue in being in a relationship with you. True love isn't a forced thing, it's a choice and he is choosing not to be the one for you. He isn't the only man alive so you are in a good position to brush the dust off and keep it moving. You deserve to be loved, respected and treated like a queen with someone who wants to work on relationship just as much as you do.
You can't fix this because he doesn't want to.
