J., more than anything you sound so lonely! I have lived in IA for 3 years and feel the same way. I moved away from best friends and now my husband doesn't want to move back. I cry a lot too :( I am so sorry for your pain. I would have a couple of suggestions. Your summer is not over, take the time you still have left and go have some fun with that little girl! Take her to the mall, the park, the grocery store. Use the time you have left and don't eat up all your time regratting the past. Second is, I understand how your little girl can be like a friend, I have often felt that with my little one. She is like a friend to me. But as an adult, you need adult friends, children are not meant to take the place of adults. I have found a couple good friends in my neighborhood, down the street. Why don't you try putting out some flyers or an ad in the local paper, looking to start a mom social group. Bring your kids. Create some play dates. There are always lonely moms out there. We make our kids and everyone else a priority, but there has to be some time for us too. Think of what you need and then go look for it. I would also check with a dr. about an anti-depressant. I take an anti-stress one called Busiprone, and love it - there are some out there with lesser side effects. It takes the edge off my pain & helps me deal and focus without making me fuzzy.. Last, I would try to find a good church. A smaller one is usually better, try to get connected. Just plain tell the people you are around, I am lonely and I need help. You can't be afraid to ask for it. Make sure to use the ideas people send you. Ask God for help. He is there, really. He cares and can also use people around you to love you. Reply to me if you want to talk more.
