How Many of You Have True Friends?

Hi! You are SO not alone! I, too, work part time and am married with three children. Life is wonderfully hectic...I would have to really juggle to fit a girls' night out into my schedule, but I have to admit that I HAVE found friends along the way through church and through my kids' activities. If you are part of a local church, get active by joining a mom's Bible study or helping out on some church activity. Another good way of connecting with folks you might have something in common with is by getting involved in something you enjoy: scrapbooking workshops, quilting classes, or a book club. These types of activities allow people a chance to talk and visit while they work and are natural breeding grounds for friendships (and you should be able to find some good ones if you're community is a nice one). By the way, I've never been invited to a bachelorette party either...but then that may be because I'm a pastor's wife...people usually leave us off the guest list for these things (but that's a whole other issue all together!) Best of luck to you!

I have many great friends. We meet for lunch and the kids can go or stay with a sitter. You really have to be what you are looking for in others. You really haven't missed much by not going to a bachelorette partyand being a bridesmaid can be pretty costly. Take walks and talk to neighbors. Always carry a positive attitude cause people don't want to be around negative people. You don't have to be religious to go and meet people at church and you may find out that you like it. I live in Sanger and go to church at Northwest in Fresno. It is always best to treat people as you want to be treated. You will meet people.

Hi B.,
I SO know what you mean! I had lots of friends in college, but since I went to college on the east coast, when I moved back to California afterward I drifted away from many of those friends. Then I started from scratch in San Francisco, where after 10 years I had finally made friends. And then I was transferred to Fresno.

I have lived here for 2 years and have never felt so much like a duck out of water in my whole life!

I'm the sort of girl who really ought to have stayed in Berkeley - I am not religious, so I have no interest in going to church or joining a church group, nor am I really all that interested in joining a mom's group. What I really loved about my friends in SF was that we could be people first and moms second. (Who am I kidding? My best friends were gay men, for the most part! Kids rarely came into the conversation.)

So I tell you what! I have met a few people recently who seem like fun, normal people who seem willing to talk about things other than my children or their children. We talked about starting a "smart girls' club" where we can get together and talk like intelligent people and have a glass of wine or whatever. We haven't actually done anything about it yet. But if we can manage to pull it together, are you interested in coming? I think this issue of not having true friends is fairly prevalent, actually. I am glad you asked the question because I was starting to think I was the only one!!

Hi B.,

I too felt the same way. I had some 'true' friends, but that changed when I had a baby 2 1/2 yrs ago (even though they too had kids). I joined a mom group(PlayPals) and through them I met a wonderful group of women. I felt very comfortable with them the first time I met them. These women have now become my true friends. It's like we've known each other forever. We get together at least once a week and since our children are all around the same age, it's great to be able to share experiences we all go through being moms. I know it feels like you are the only one without a real friend when you go through this, but trust me, your not! True friends are out there for you.

If you're interested in getting into a group or just talking, let me know. I'm always happy to meet new friends!

N.

You are not alone. It is very difficult to maintain a strong marriage, take care of your kids, AND work outside of the home ... there's no extra time to build true friendships outside of that! I hear that all the time. Hope it feels better knowing that MANY women experience these feelings.

I found that attending MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) really helped. I've been developing friendships w/moms that can all relate to each other. You're welcome to come ... 2nd and 4th Thurs of every month ... call me for more info ###-###-####.

Also, I'm involved in our church and have gotten close to women there. Don't know where you live or what you believe, but you're welcome to Madera Hills Bible Church at Hwy 41 & Ave 14 Sundays at 11 a.m. It is right off the Hwy 41 at Ave 14 (about 4 mi. north of Woodward Park).

Would love to become friends! M.

Boy do I know what you mean! I actually stepped way out of my shell and about a year and a half ago started FresnoMommies.com through The Mommies Network. I learned that 90% of the moms there felt the same way! We get so involved with our responsibilities we forget to take the time to make friends, too. Thankfully, all moms understand! I'm not sure if you're in Fresno County, but if you are, you are more than welcome to join us. It's free and you aren't obligated to any kind of time committment - we'd love to meet you!

I've been pregnant/nursing for the past 5 years of my life (and by the way, my husband and I have been marriend almost 6 years). Anyhow I felt so detached from friends (all of whom live out of town now). I finally realized that I had to reach out to those in my community. I started getting more involved in my church and seeking out other woman/moms that I admired. Also a couple of different ladies in my neighborhood that I knew were stay-at-home moms as well I would invite them for coffee/tea while the kids played at my house or invite them to join the kids and I for a walk. It has certainly been way out of my comfort zone to be the one to initiate coffee dates/walking dates etc with other women, but it has been so worth it! Recently my father-in-law passed away and I was faced with the dilemma of who was going to care for our kids while we attended the funeral etc. I was able to ask for help from a group of women at church and 3 were able to "tag team" and help us out. It was such a blessing. So I would encourage you to step out of your comfort zone (only one step at a time), and maybe invite a neighbor for a walk or to meet you for a cup of coffee. And by the way, I've never been to a bachelorette party either. :)