How Do You Make New Mom Friends? - Allen,TX

Updated on March 14, 2012
M.T. asks from Allen, TX
18 answers

How do you make new mom friends? I am not shy but I am not super duper outgoing either with people I don’t know. I am not one who will go up to a stranger and strike up a conversation with them. I find myself newish to the area and all my friends live far away. I DON’T get to see them often. Now My daughter is in Kindergarten and I am still a stay at home mom. I find it tough to make new friends. Some of the moms in my daughters class aren’t exactly friendly. I am only 25 and a lot of the moms are in their late 30’s and 40’s which I don’t mind. My fiancé is quite a bit older than me and I see age as nothing but a number. I would love to make friends no matter the age.

Id love to have play dates or heck even a friend i can hang out with and spend time with. Bake, Crafts, Art, try new things, Exercise... ANYTHING REALLY!!!

So what are some suggestions for making new mom friends?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you ladies for the wonderful suggestions and feedback.
I have only been here a couple of days and I just love this site. What a plethora of information I've discovered on here.
I cannot thank you enough :)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from New York on

You make friends by being friendly. Become what you want to attract. Don't put all the effort and weight on the other person. Be open and engaging. Try to discover groups that have things in common with the things you like to do. Taking classes, learning hobbies, etc. I have made friends at Build a Bear Workshop or the local bookstore and I'm an introvert. So I really have to go outside of my comfortzone to speak to people and be warm, friendly and engaging. Not everyone will take you up on you offer of friendship and you get to choose and pick who you want to have what level of friendship with but it always pays to be nice, warm and friendly.

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Are you new to mamapedia? I have just recently seen your name so if you are new, Welcome.

Also, Welcome to Allen. I live in West Allen/North Plano area.

My only child, daughter is now 17. When she was a toddler, we had a close knot neighborhood group of moms/children and we'd meet a monring or two a week, have breakfast, etc let children play. In the great weather days, we were always outside with children in someone's yard playing.

As daughter got older, we built another house in a new neighborhood. At that time, my daughter at age 5 was the oldest of many new families around here. As the neighborhoood built up, we made more and more friends. We now have regular parties with several neighbors and friends yearly. Just a couple weeks ago we were at the next door neighbor's house for the annual crawfish boil which brings out about 100+ people! We do a fun run at Thanksgiving with a big brunch and again about 100+ people.

I got involved with volunteering at my daughter's school and met many mom's that way. My daughter is very involved with cheerleading and I have met many moms through our booster clubs, etc. Same goes for when she was in her martial arts training.

There is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation at a local park, etc. The parks in my neighborhood are often full of children and moms. Someone would be chatting with you, especially if your children were playing.

Ask for playdates for your daughter. You get to know families well this way too...

Good luck to you and welcome to Allen and Mamapedia!

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I was in the same boat and the thing that helped me the most was birthday parties. When my daughter was in kindergarten, it seemed like we were invited to at least one party a month. I always took her and stayed at the party until it was over (not expecting to be included as a guest, but to keep eyes on my kid). Many of the other moms did this too, so after a few months we found ourselves friends from meeting at so many parties. My now best friend is a friend formed from this situation and our group of friends for Ladies Night was formed from this group as well. Some ladies dropped out and new ones entered. Just do what you can to be involved in school activities and be approachable. What ever activity you find your daughter has interest in, you will find kids in her age probably from her school. You can also offer to have play dates and ask the mom's to come and stay as well. My daughter is now in 3rd grade and the mom's from the kindergarten parties still get together. Who knew that kids parties could create parent friendships, LOL.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Dallas on

When I moved to the Ft. worth area nearly 26 years ago I knew no one in the whole State of Texas except for my husband and daughters. I also was a stay at home mom. We joined a wonderful church and I would ask a group of ladies for lunch to my house occasionally. We would have lunch and do a craft project and just have fun visiting. Join an exercise class. I currently teach water aerobics at the Keller Natatorium during the day and it has been a great way to make friendships. I have taught the class for 9 years and when I got cancer my friends in class rallied around me and were such a part of my recovery. Look around for people who may have the same interests as you invite a mom and classmate for a play date or volunteer for class outing or parties. Just put yourself out there. Meet your neighbors. In no time you will fee like you belong. Welcome to the area!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Tyler on

You need to make the effort.
1. Identify 2-3 kids in her class that she likes and you like the mom. Put a note in her folder asking for the mom's phone number or just leave a note and say, "Hey - my daughter really likes your daugher. Can we get together for a playdate?" Then..see how it develops.

2. Sign your duaghter up for soccer or baseball or something - real friendships develop on those sidelines!

3. Without using your daughter as an intermediary, join a book club, library club, or gym. You may find a friend at one of those places. Oh, join the PTA - great place to meet other parents without the kids in tow, but yet you have something in common.

Good luck,
L.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Seattle on

The moms at school may just seem unfriendly. Really we are there helping our kids or the class and don't have time to chat! That time comes on field trips, play dates, and during And after PTA meetings. The more involved you are the more they will see you and respect you. It's easy to dismiss a younger mom as being less serious and unrelatable unfortunately. Show them otherwise! Maybe host a playdate at your house? And go to PTA meetings, organize a moms night out afterward, be present in the classroom and on field trips. I find that you often have to be the one to reach out. If you wait it may never happen! A lot of moms are just shy or busy as well. If you want new mom friends put yourself out there and just ask!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry to put this out there but the stay at homes are probably nervous that you're younger and around their husbands. Sorry.
Join the PTA bc that's where the power lies in the stay-at-home arena.
(Personally, as an ex full-time worker, I find it kinda creepy, but...)
While your kid's at school find places where you can volunteer since money doesn't seem to be an issue for you. (I might be wrong, just a guess! ;-) )
You can meet "truer" friends with like interests then.
Good luck. Oh, to be 25 again! Was single and running around NYC. ha!

1 mom found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Ha, I just posted something similar last week!!!! Almost everyone mentioned a site called Meetup. I haven't had a chance to check it out myself but I intend to, because I desperately need to find some people outside the 4 walls of my home!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

when we moved from the city to our little town, I remember saying to my DH that I did not want to live on a farm....I wanted to live in town. I didn't want to be in a position where I'd have to stand at the grocery store, with a sign around my neck...asking for friends! Oh, what a drama queen!

Would it be crazy to ask the teacher if she knew if any of the moms were SAH? Tell her your predicament & ask her for ideas. Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I started volunteering at my son's school and have made some friends over time this way. I went to some PTO meetings (a new experience for me!) and volunteered to be on the book fair committee (twice now). I also volunteered for other random things...bake sales, help setting up a teacher appreciation lunch, etc. Maybe you can start doing this and over time you will notice what other women seem nice to you. Then ask that person if they want to meet for coffee or get together with kids sometime. You say you are not super outgoing - make sure you smile and ask others about themselves/their kids. I am 40 and I have some friends your age...age is not a factor to me in friendship. We moved to this area 2 years ago and I had to start from scratch with making friends. I joined a MOMs club and also went weekly to a family meeting center here (called the Family Strengths Network). It is a place that has classes for babies/toddlers to teens and the parents. It is also a place for parents to meet and hang out. I met a lot of people there and some women that also had just moved here. I asked if anyone would like to meet me to hike and started a small hiking group that met weekly. I also met some women who had a weekly playdate/get together with their babies/toddlers and started going to that. If your daughter is in Kindergarten maybe you can meet moms through her activities...volunteer for girl scouts or soccer or gymnastics or whatever it is she likes to do. Volunteer for class parties. Just get out there and over time you will start connecting to other moms if you make sure to converse with them each time you see them. Also, I joined the YMCA and I see some of the moms around town there. I have gotten to be friends with some of these women and will meet up for coffee or a run occasionally. One weekend I did a local women's fitness retreat and I got to know those women really well. I hope that gives you some ideas!!! Also - I have made good friends with 3 of the women at my son's bus stop. Make sure to chat daily with the other moms at the bus stop and maybe invite them over for coffee or to come by and let the kids play after school. One other mom at the bus stop likes to run too and some days we will go for a run together after the bus picks up the kids. Good luck making some friends! If you lived near me I'd be happy to hang out, exercise and do crafts...all things I love to do. :) Also - I will have to tell you that I had way more time when I had one child. Now with 2 I feel a bit crazy in life. I can imagine those moms with 3 and 4 kids really have a hard time making any time to hang out. But playdates at each other's houses where the kids play and you hang and chat would work (That is the only way I see one of my friends who has 4 kids). Oh, I have one more idea. My son BEGS for playdates all the time. Before I knew any other parents I had to just write a note he would take to school. He'd give this note to his friend and his friend would deliver it to his parents. Then we would wait for them to call me. Now that I'm not so new I have a class handbook with phone numbers. You can call and set up one playdate a week for your daughter. Invite over a friend from her class to come play and invite that child's mom to stay and have a cup of tea. Most times people are too busy but some times they are not...and at Kindergarten age a lot of parents will want to get to know you. You can chat while your kids play and who knows, maybe you will like that person.

1 mom found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

join www.meetup.com, its free. search in your zip code for "stay at home moms" or "working moms", crafts, etc. They have groups of these people who plan "meet ups". Some are free, some aren't but there are TONS of them. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Volunteer! This has been the biggest one for me!
Go to the story time at the library.
Go to church or some sort of worship center.
Walk the neighborhood on a nice afternoon and stop to talk to your neighbors.
Join a Mom's group (you can find them online).
Take a class.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have had several very close friends forever, and a lot of work friends that I like, but don't do things with. I've never had trouble making friends, but a couple of years ago, everything started changing. Friends started moving away, divorcing, getting busy and starting new lives. My kids were getting older, and I actually had time to spend with friends, but no one was around. I didn't want to write off my long-time friends, but I wanted some new friends that would have time to spend with me, too.

I didn't really want to talk about school all the time (I'm a teacher), so I wasn't looking for closer friendships there, other than the close friends I already had there. Instead, I looked at my sons' schools. Like you, I didn't find many of the moms very friendly, but I persevered.

At open house last year, one of the moms in my youngest son's class seemed somewhat friendly, and my son liked her son. I decided to see what she was like. I didn't stalk her, but I did try to talk to her at school functions. She was nice, and we had some similar interests. By semester's end we were meeting up with the boys from time to time and getting to know each other better.

We both ended up getting waterpark passes for ourselves and our boys, and bonded over the summer. Sometimes we even got together without the kids, and tonight we're going out for dinner without kids.

She's younger than me by about 5 years, but like you, I feel age is just a number. I felt like you did. I wanted friends to do things with, and I made it my mission to find some. It worked. I also ended up playing in a keno group once a month with some teachers from several local schools. That has been great, too!

Stick with it, and you will find friends. What I discovered is that sometimes it's not that the moms are unfriendly. They just don't always know that you want to talk to them. Then again, some of them are unfriendly. ;)

I wish you lived a bit closer. I would love to meet you. :)

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

You make friends by being friendly. Also, volunteering in the school or joining the PTO or HSO helps. Get outside - walk around your neighborhood if you can and say hello to people. Practice making small talk. Maybe after you've spoken to someone a few times, you can ask if they want to go for coffee.

Sometimes, it can take a while for people to warm up, but don't let that discourage you. I don't know anyone that doesn't appreciate a smile and warm hello or how are you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from New York on

very glad u asked this question im 23 and expectingmy first child this summer and have been thinking lately about finding mom friends only one of my friends has kids and they will be quite a bit older than mine will be, same with my cousins that have children.. are u at all friends with any of your daughters frends moms?? thats would be the easiest solution to me

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

All the friendships I developed were from church and a local bible study group that had children's programs. One of them I met at Babies R Us while nursing in the nursing room. I have never made a lasting friendship from the park. Involve yourself in something that interests you and you will meet people that are like you and think like you. Oh, I might add, I also prayed for God to bring me a mom friend- and boy did He.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Well first off I'd go into the school, when you drop her off and pick her up, assuming you take her to school. And hang out a bit. That is usually when the conversations start. Then get involved in her classroom. Help out the teacher, or the office. They always need volunteers. And when she has class parties, volunteer for that too, or come hang out if you can. That is how I met a LOT of my friends that I have today. It will help too with playdates for your daughter since you'll meet the moms and kids. You just have to put yourself out there. Just say "hi" and smile to someone, and it will go from there. I'm sure lots of other people get a little intimidated too, but all it takes is a smile to get started. Good luck to you.

R.A.

answers from Providence on

I know how hard it can be to make new mom friends. I am on the introverted side as well, until I get to know someone. I had a difficult time meeting people in my area as well. Honestly, I had first came on mamapedia to maybe find a mom in my area to meet and get to know, so my son could have a friend. At the time, he was 3 years old, and had a speech and language delay. It was hard for him to interact with other kids, and he often was unable to communicate at all with them. I had recently quit my job full time so that I could be with him at home.

That is when I found Mamapedia. I asked a question for my area, and had two responses. I met them both, and I found a good connection with one. We have been super close friends for the last 5 years. Our sons are very good friends still.

I would maybe try that first, as well as get involved in the community. I enjoyed taking my son to the library each week. They had storytime hour there, along with crafts for his age group.

It's too bad we don't live closer!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions