Friendly Divorce

It really is a good idea as long as you agree on joint custody and all things child related! I just went thru a nasty 3 year divorce. Final last monday. In the end... we each ended up with half, if only he would have agreed earlier...I would have saved 6G in lawyer costs.

M.-

Please do not do it and get everything in writing. Every person that I have known did that ended up paying more down the road. You need to have a separate lawyer look it over and go with you to court to make sure that he does not change anything at the last minute. There is no such thing as a friendly divorce or it would not be happening in the first place. You need to protect your rights and the rights of most importantly your child. If you do it to save money now-you will pay more in the long run--again it is crucial to get everything in writing. Child support, visitation, holidays and even phone calls. Trust me I have had it happen to me and seen it happen to others. Be very thorough!! You will be glad you did!!

I have a name of an attorney that charges by the job, not the hour and did a good job for me located in Park Ridge. Let me know if you want his name.

T.

I am sorry you are going through this and especially at this time of year. I take it that this was his decision? No matter what it is hard. My friend is going through somewhat of the same thing and he just up and told her he did not love her anymore while they were on vacation and wanted a divorce. Anyhow, it was friendly at first, but now, he is not being very nice, or fair and she says he carries this backpack around whereever he goes in the house and outside the house and also they are getting one lawyer too and I did not agree with that, but my friend couldn ot afford to get a lawyer really and she said they have it all written out what they are doing adn she will not sign anything until she is sure on it beig ok, but she is feeling now it was a mistake. So, just be very careful and hopefully it will stay friendly. Good luck and I am sorry this is happening to you.
S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

I did a friendly divorce with only one lawyer and it turned out fine. However, you have a son so if you choose to do so, make sure you read the papers carefully. If you agree on everything, then the only people benefiting from you getting another lawyer would be the lawyers!

Hi M.,

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I've been there, too.

If your soon-to-be-ex has already chosen and hired a lawyer without you, then IMHO, you should get your own lawyer who will look out for you and your son's interests only. If, however, he is just talking about the idea, and the two of you can choose a lawyer together (some of them specialize in this type of divorce), then yes, you're probably better off using just one. That's just my two cents. Whatever you do, best of luck to you, and take care.

Becky

M., I have a business associate that is a family law expert. I can put you in touch with him to see if he could look at the papers and how much it would cost. He is easy to talk to and a very nice guy--not lawyerly at all ;)

I highly suggest someone professional at least look at the papers. Lawyers tend to see things we don't. Simple wording can change the meaning and how it is interpreted. I don't want to scare you. I am glad that it is friendly. That is great but you don't want anything to come back later as a simple misunderstanding, especially about your son.

Let me know if you want Andy's phone or email. He will talk to you for free!

My sister had a friendly divorce. One lawyer and it worked out well. Look at the language when you get the doc. If you are unsure, take it to a lawyer. to look at the doc. You will be fine and chin up! At least it is a friendly divorce!

Hi M.,
I had a friendly divorce with my 1st husband. We didn't have any kids, own any properties or anything. We only had one lawyer - I hired - and he basically put in the paperwork, that we don't have anything together, I keep my car, he keeps his car, we split the credit card debt etc, I didn't want anything from him, he didn't want anything from me. I only paid $1000 for the one lawyer.
Like one of the previous posters said, in your case I would take the paperwork to a couple of lawyers for the free consultaion, just so they would look over the paperwork for you, because of your son, you want to make sure everything is ok with that....

In my opinion, you should take the papers to an independent lawyer, or lawyers. Lawyers will always give you a free consultation, usually about 30 minutes to an hour worth of time. Bring in the papers, and see what 1,2, or even 3 of them, have to say. Be very careful. If he was "looking out for the best interest of everyone", then you wouldn't be getting a divorce. Tread very carefully. Good luck!

I did the friendly thing when my ex and I drew up our original visitation agreement. We agreed and it seemed everything was fine until years down the road it needed to be changed. Suddenly my ex was extremely hostile to me and tried to screw me all the way because we forgot to put in some things and it really would have been better if we both had a lawyer. If you didn't have a child I would see no reason that one lawyer wouldn't be fine but you do and you need to know your rights and make sure that if you need to make adjustments down the road (and most people do) you can in a non-hostile manner.

Get at least a separate lawyer or two to look over the paperwork and explain all implications that certain language means. You might think it is clear but if there is ANY other possible interpretation you should know about it before signing a document.

You and your ex will fight about parenting things. It is inevitable I am sorry to say but having steps to make sure you both play fair in case things turn nasty down the road is really in your son's best interests.

Hi M.,

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. When my ex and I divorced we only had one lawyer (he hired) who pretty much just prepared and filed the paperwork. My ex and I had already divided up our property and debt. This was perfect for us since we had no children. However, had we had children it would have been a different situation and I would have hired one for the sake of the children.

Blessings to you.