Break-up, How to Help My Child Deal

Tell him the truth and that it had nothing to do with him. Would this man still see him? Hang out? So sad. My heart breaks for your child and I don't even know him!

This situation is exactly why I feel strongly that single moms, while free to date, are wise to keep dating completely separate from their young children. Get a sitter--go out. Don't drag the kids through your dating ups and downs.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but it's easy for women to think that their kids are cool with their BF and with them dating and then this happens. Please--your son doesn't need more of these experiences of men leaving him (and that is how he will see this, you know).

Really remember this feeling of your heart breaking for your son's loss.
TRY not to have him put into this position again--until the man is going to be his stepfather.

as the other moms have said, this is a grieving process. If this man is truly out of your life, then you need to approach it as such. If the break-up is amicable, then maybe your ex-boyfriend will be open to still spending time with your child. Whatever happens make sure your child never, ever believes he is the reason why the ex is gone.

Now for the preaching. :) This is exactly why so many of us older moms recommend not combining dating & young children. It is a hardship for the children....one which can be avoided. Please, please work hard (behind the scenes) to make sure your child's self-confidence is bolstered thru this grieving process. Peace to you. :)

I think everyone preaching about how you shouldn't have mixed dating and your son is a bit overboard. You were together 2 years! I'm sure you thought about marriage and thought it would work. Thats like saying you shouldnt let their kid meet anyone in case they decide to move, or distance themselved...should a kid not have a bestfriend because they may fight and decide they dont like eachother? What if a kid gets close to a grandparent and they die? or move to another state? Losing people is a normal part of life. While I feel you should take percautions and not introduce someone for quite a while and should introduce them as friends for a while and eventually as more when you are planning a future...it doesnt always work out like that..and even if it does things could still end.
I introuced my boyfriend after 4 months, and then over the next 4 months he was J. my friend we're a year and a 1/2 in now and live together and yes plan on a future, but is that a definite? no? nothing is. You can get married and then divorce in that time.

I say ask the man if he is willing to see your son and if not for long term slowly phase him out so its not all at once...any maybe they can have lunch together once a month after. If hes a good guy he will do that. If he doesnt want to see you, he can pick your son up from a friend.
either way your son is going to grieve, its a natural part of life and you're here to guide hm through that process as hard as it may be...J. the same as if his uncle was very much in his life and move away. you need to be there for him and eventually things will get better

I had the same experience when my daughter was very young. I dated a guy for 2 years and then we broke up. I thought I was going to marry this guy and my daughter had become very attached to him. When we broke up, she asked about him a lot. I basically just told her that he wasn't our friend anymore. I probably didn't handle it perfectly, but she is 11 now and doesn't even remember him. I am married now and have been for almost 7 years and as far as she is concerned, my husband is her dad.
I disagree with the people who have suggested asking if he will still spend time with your son. There will come a day when he stops coming around and the older your son gets, the harder that will be on him. He will never get over the loss if he comes around every so often to remind him of it. Your son is young enough that he will forget all about this guy eventually. But please explain to your son that none of it was his fault. The man did not leave him, it just didn't work out.

He didn't leave your son, he left YOU. I'd make sure you make that clear.

Is he still willing to have a relationship with your son? And I agree with Julie G - he left you not your son, unless he is a bad guy.

I'd be careful to bring any dates around until you're sure it's going to last a long time, because the older he gets, the harder this will get.

You can see how hard this is on your son.
When you have kids, you have to consider them in your relationships with others and your kids have to come first.
You might want to take a break from boyfriends for awhile so you son doesn't have to get used to guys coming and going in his life.
When you do start dating again. introduce them slowly to your family and only if it's going to be a long term committed relationship (someone who's interested in being a father to your son long term).
The boyfriend has left you both and there is going to be a grieving process (it's like he's dead) for both you and your son.
Just take it slow and easy and be there for each other.

Kids are pretty smart. Just tell him that the relationship you had with boyfriend didn't work out. I would ask boyfriend if he plans to see your son still. If not tell your son that boyfriend will not be around any more. Be aware that if boyfriend says he still wants to see your son he me gradually stop seeing him in the future so be prepared for that. Let son know that it's not his fault as well.

I don't bring men around my dd for this very reason. I date when my dd is with my Mom or other family members. I tell the guy that I'm dating that he doesn't need to meet my dd until I get to know him. It's h*** o* them after the break up if they become attached. As one poster said don't date for a while or if you do date don't bring him around your son. Not everyone you date needs to meet your child. Good luck.

Just be honest and let him know that you two aren't together anymore. Give it sometime though just in case things change-you don't want your child to go on the emotional roller coaster with you. Over time he will heal and so will you.