BOSSY 2 Yr. Old. Does He "Get" What He's Doing?

It is a phase... my daughter 2 1/2 is going throught it. It is not that he is being demanding per se, I believe they just don't understand that the world does not revolve around them.

With my daughter, I tell her she has to say please, and if I am in teh middle of doing something I tell her she needs to wait and have patience. If (when) she starts screaming I get down to her level and tell her to ask nicely, no whining crying or screaming and Mommy will get it when she is done, but if if she keeps screaming I will not help at all. I will also tell her she can look where ever she last saw whatever it is she wants while she is waiting. This give her choice so she feels more in control and works about 90% of the time.

Good luck!

You have to remember that from earliest stages, whatever "demands" an infant/toddler wants, he gets....hungry/food, dirty diaper/changed, crying/held, etc. They never had to LEARN manners. Therefore, they MUST be taught.

NO less than please and thanks you's. Sometimes I stop and ask, "Are you asking or demanding?" and get a response then. Almost always it was an intended "ask" vs. demand. THEN, I remind them that their tone of voice is important, as well and ask them to repeat that so that I understand the intent. Almost always it's repeated w/ a please, as well as a change of tone. Just good practice.

On rare occasion, I'll get asked, "Are you asking or demanding?" Of course, my first request is ALWAYS an "ask" and we go from there.

You are not alone, my daughter who will be 3 in November is in this stage. Be strong and help him learn good manners. My daughter gets upset quite easily if she doesn't get her way and I just have to tell her I can't understand her unless she quits crying and talks in a calm voice. She has a huge vocabulary, so that is not part of the problem. She has learned to quit fussing pretty quickly. Sometimes you have to give them the option of doing the correct thing or they can stand in the corner after you have counted to three and they still haven't done what you have asked them to do. That usually gets her moving pretty quickly. Good luck.

You are right on, he is trying to figure out how much he can control you and your hubby! Push your buttons, how far you'll let him run with it etc. To help all of you, you can help your son by giving him more words to use. When he asks for help finding a toy, he needs to say please. If after he learns this word and uses it and he doesn't say please, you don't help him. He also needs to learn that you can't always drop what you are doing to help him either so he needs to learn that as well. Get down on his eye level and explain to him that when you are finished doing __________ you can help him look for his blue car.

At this age, they are in their own world too. Everything is about them and the right here and now so we just have to help them realize that there is a bigger picture to it all.

Good luck!
S.

If you give into him now, imagine what it will be like in two years from now when he goes to school and trys to tell the teacher what to do. And imagine what it's going to be like to break him of this when he is older....not fun at all. Do it now while you can. He knows exactly whe he is doing.

If you're like most moms, you probably created this behavior without thinking about it. We constantly urge our toddlers to "do" things as a learning tool--find mommy, (peek-a-boo), where's the birdie?(reading books), find your nose, etc., etc. This is just a normal progression from those things. He's not trying to boss you--he's learning to communicate. Your job is to take it to the next level. Encourage "please" and "thank you", but also reciprocate when he asks you to do things in the correct way. This is teaching him , not him trying to control you. Did daddy EVER fall down and be silly when he said that? All he wants is to see daddy be silly--- not boss daddy around. don't read too much into this, he's not after conrtol.

I think that all children will test at one time or another as they are trying to "figure out "life. Temper tantrums are part of those growing years. "If I scream, yell, throw myself on the floor etc. will I get my way?".You are the parent and I feel like you are on the right track. As adults we should not try to break the high spitit of a child but the spitit must be curbed to follow the rules etc. Your idea of having the child look first and then you help is a good point. He is testing the water and will continue to look for his boundary,