Bedwetting - Griffin,GA

Updated on February 09, 2009
L. asks from Griffin, GA
25 answers

Ok ladies, I need some advice. I have a five year old son (he will be six in April) who still will not stay dry all night. He wears pulups to be otherwise I would have to change sheets everyday! I also have a three year old (he will be four in March) who has been completely potty trained for almost a year. I am about at my wit's end with my oldest not staying dry at night. I have told him time and time again to come and get me and I will go with him, I wake him up before I go to bed myself, he will potty right before bed, and he doesn't drink hardly anything after dinner which is usually about 6:30. Please help!

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So What Happened?

Maybe I should have been a little more clear when I sent this request. By no means am I punishing him for not staying dry. I know it is not his fault. I was simply asking if there was anything else as his mother that I could do to help. There are times when we as mothers wonder if we are doing all that we possibly can to help our children. Shelly, I do not completely cut out liquids, water especially. I know it is vital and to be quite honest my children drink more water than most kids I know. I know he can't wake me up if he is asleep, but I tell him if he wakes up and needs to go then I am there to support him. We already have an appointment with the pediatrician coming up and I definitely plan on discussing this matter. Thank you for all of your advice and support in letting me know that I am not alone.

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L.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi L.,

I went through this with my younger daughter and highly recommend the "potty pager". It clips to their underwear and vibrates when it detects wetness to signal them to wake up and go to the bathroom. I think it only took my daughter a week or two before she started staying dry thru the night. It was some of the best $ we ever spent.

Good Luck,
L.

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B.W.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Sounds pretty normal really. My oldest didn't start going through the night til about 5 1/2. He is 6 1/2 now, and still has occaisional accidents, maybe once a week. But not major ones, more like little leaks. :) My next little boy is 5 now (december birthday) and still wears his "nighttime underwear" We use cloth diapers, so it's the cloth equivelent of a pull-up. He wets them almost every night still. The nice thing about cloth though is that it is much easier to tell how wet a diaper is, and I can see they are getting less wet recently. With cloth they also feel more wet to the child, so they are more awre of it. We have gone to a bit less absorbent version and not having problems. i am hoping he will move toward dryness soon, but each child is different.

Now my daughter is 3 and she is already dry almost every night. She potty trained day and night pretty much at the same time, at about 2 1/2. she still has occasional accindents, but they are usually odd instances, like she fell asleep early and didn't go before bed, etc.

A very good friend of mine had a girl who didn't stop nighttime accident until she was about nine, then, all gone. It doesn't mean something is wrong with him, though of corse there are possibilities. It could just be normal for this boy.

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D.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

My son will be 6 in March and he does the same thing. Some kids just have difficulty with staying dry at night and I do not stress him or myself over it. I understand your point of view and concern and I, like you, would like to know other suggestions of what I can do to help him. It is my understanding that it is just something he will outgrow. I don't really want to try devices and will worry if he becomes older and still has the problem while discussing it with his doctor every checkup as well.

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S.P.

answers from Atlanta on

I think sometimes kids just sleep too soundly and their bodies don't wake them up to go to the bathroom. I've read that getting a bedwetting alarm will help them train their brains to be alert to this. This is what our pediatrician recommended for our son, but we never got one because his problem cleared up on its own. But as our doctor stressed, he's not doing it on purpose!

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

He can't get up and tell you because he is asleep. I had this problem myself until I was 8 or nine, and my sister till she was 11-12, and it's not about withholding vital water from him, it's a maturity factor, possibly a food allergy or sleeping deeply. It's not defiant, embarrassing to him and not such a big problem if he's wearing pullups is it?
There is nothing he can do about this, other than you waking him up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Please don't keep him from having water, that has nothing to do with it!
I know it's frustrating, but this is not uncommon.

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D.H.

answers from Florence on

Hi L.! The bedwetting thing is not as unusual as you thnk. It is called nocturnal enuresis and it is much more common in boys than girls. Girls usually have more difficulty with daytime accidents even when they are fully potty-trained where as boys usually don't have priblems with daytime accidents-it has something to do with anatomy. I however was a bed wetter for most of my childhood and it tends to be familial-in my case was very sound sleeper.Any way, I waited for my son's bladder to have time to develop-did usual stuff in meantime stopping liquids early, plastic sheet on bed and pullups as well as teaching him to clean up and take care of any bad accidents. I tried never to make him feel as if he did anything wrong. Eventually, when he was around eight, I spoke to my family doctor about a nighttime medicine of which I had heard. It is sometimes given to children with ADHD at night in place of daytime meds. Once he started the medicine(can't remember the name right now) he began waking up in night to go to bathroom. After around three to four months on the medidcine he seemed to get in a pattern, which also interestingly enough affected his younger brothers sleep pattern, and the bed wetting stopped. We were able to wean him of the medicine and he has only had one or two accidents over two and half years(overly tired or drinks to late.)

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I know you already had many responses but let me know what happens with the ped. I too have 2 boys my oldest that can't stay dry. My husband was raised with 6 brothers he was the oldest he said boys really do take longer then girls to potty train and even at night, our night is the problem also. We are getting ready soon to take our boys to a ped uro we have read that they have some many ways to help and diagnose things they had not in the past. We don't punish either our boys are such deep sleepers they can't help it. I wish you the best and hope your little one can can get help with it being something easy to help.My husband had no problem with bedwetting as a child but I myself even being a girl had the problem until I was almost 9 yrs old. My mother with held water, changed my diet no tomatoes stuff like that...didn't make a difference and that was many years ago they had that belief, lets see like 35 yrs ago I think it's different for every child but honestly I have read they can help now.

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

You've gotten all the sound advice you'll need. I'd definitely ask his doctor about it.
But some things you could try at home as well, if you already haven't done any of them, are:
1. No large amount of drinks after dinner. If he's thirsty before bed, give him a drink...a sip, not a cupful.
2. Wake him up before you go to bed and have him go. If you do this, you'll want to make sure he's pretty coherent so he gets that he has to wake up to go to the bathroom. This one worked like a charm for our oldest.

If it's a medical condition, neither will work.

I hope this helps. I know how frustrating it can be and it's hard not to blame the kids. But it is very common and "normal"...whatever normal is now a days.

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K.F.

answers from Savannah on

L.,

If you have not approached your son's pediatrician about the bedwetting problem yet, I would do that first. He may not be quite on track with his physical development. Some children sleep so hard that they just don't wake up, and others have are developmentally behind. I remember when I was that age, I used to have a lot of accidents at night. It is probably very embarassing for your son. So, be sensitive towards him regarding the issue. Check with your pediatrician though.

K.

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J.F.

answers from Macon on

Each child is different. but my child kept having accidents. Turned out that he had a medical problem - one of tubes to bladder wasn't long enough, and then the bladder was not doing work because of outpouching problem. I finally took my son to doctor and had to have surgery done on him. At age 5, though, unless they're in some sort of school and still have problems, have him checked out.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you discussed this with his pediatrician? If not, then do so. There could be a physical reason for his not staying dry all night. If you have that eliminated as the cause, then look at the emotional aspect of bedwetting. Hopefully, you do not scold him for it. Scolding a child for wetting the bed usually only leads to further and more intense bed wetting. I had a step-son who wet his bed and wish i could tell you there is a simple solution and it stops at a certain age, but sometimes it just doesn't. Be sure you do not shame him, though. It could be completely out of his control and if it is an emotional cause, shaming will only make it worse. You say he "doesn't drink hardly anything after dinner". Make sure he drinks absolutely nothing after 6 pm. He probably will object to that, but even a little liquid imbibed will trigger his bladder if he has a small bladder. Be sure you discuss this with his pediatrician.

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M.G.

answers from Savannah on

Talk to your pediatrician, but there is a medication that can be prescribed for bed wetting. Some children's bladders are just smaller than others. It takes some kids until 7 or 8 to stop wetting the bed. Good luck!

M. G

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T.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a 5 year old son who was completely trained for at least a year. Then, he started having accidents again during the daytime and at night. So now he wears a Pull -up at night (and it is wet every morning) AND he somtimes has accidents during the daytime. I wonder if he has something medically wrong since he was potty trained and then started wetting again??

If anyone has any thoughts on this, please respond.

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W.C.

answers from Atlanta on

My ds will be 7 in May and still wears a pull-up to bed. Most nights, he even leaks out if it, that's how much he fills it. He goes to the bathroom before bed and before we go to bed. He just doesn't wake up to go. I'm not too worried about it at this point. I had a cousin that was the same way until he was 8 or 9. Boys tend to take longer. I wouldn't worry about it too much right now.

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Take your son to an urologist to make sure nothing is wrong physically and get the doctor's advice.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Mention it to his pediatrician. Ask about DDAVP.

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H.C.

answers from Macon on

My son had the same problem when he was about 4. We didnt let him drink anything before bedtime and took him to the bathroom before bed too. And he would still wet his bed, EVER NIGHT! I was so confused and didnt know what to do about it. As well as wetting the bed, I noticed while he was sleeping that he would have short pauses in his breathing. And he would snore. Long story short, he ended up having his tonsils & adnoids removed. And from that point on, he RARELY wet his bed. Seriously, the night after having his surgery... no more wetting the bed. It was like majic. I was so amazed. The reason he was wetting the bed was because he was not getting good sleep because of the adnoids, which were affecting his breathing. And when he did finally get into deep sleep, he was so out that he would wet his bed. Not sure if your son has sinus or snoring problems but thought it might help to hear my story. Talk to your pediatrician! Good Luck!

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K.S.

answers from Atlanta on

my brother (of the 4) had the same problem for much longer than your child. He slept so soundly that he wasn't aware he was growing. They even got him an alarm pad that sounded when any liquid got on it.. and he slept thru that.

He out grew it.

know that he is embarrassed. Please just be patient and tell him that one day it will be ok.

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

My oldest is 3 and a 1/2 - been potty trained since 20 months other than night time. I think I may try to start no diapers at night soon and see how it goes but one thing I have noticed.... if he only gets milk at dinner his diaper is more likely to be dry in the morning. Guess it has more protein and some ends up as solid whereas the juice and water will make him pee through the diaper more often than not.

I had a cousin that had a bedwetting problem until 11 or so. They got an alarm for him and it really helped. In his case he was just a really sound sleeper - and sleep walker too! I know it really upset my cousin so try to be really supportive of your poor little guy. Sleepovers were especially hard for him.

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

Dear L.,

My youngest son was a bed wetter too! He is now 18. I think he was such a deep sleeper that once he was asleep he just didn't realize he had to go and therefore wet the bed. He also was a sleep walker, had trouble going to sleep - but once he did he slept well. This happened until he was probably 8-10 years old, of course it didn't happen every night the whole time. It was embarrassing to him when it happened, even more so the older he got.
For your benefit and to make the bed changing a little simpler, make sure you have a plastic cover on his mattress this will cut down on the odor, and make the clean up a lot simpler. Other than mentioning this to his doctor, bear with him and know that eventually this will subside for could be various reasons. Try not to make too big a deal out of it, and try not to compare the older and younger in this way - remember it can be very frustrating to the child also. Accidents do happen, some more for some than others. Pullups are good, but they don't allow the feeling of wetness which can be an incentive to not wet the bed.

Good Luck.

M. - mother of 4 - twins (27),(18) and (16).

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C.Y.

answers from Charleston on

Just goes to show you how different kids are. I think at 5, for some kids, that's pretty normal to still be in a pull-up at night. Don't put so much pressure on him and yourself and just stay with the pull ups and before you know it those wil be staying dry thru the night.

~C.
www.LostRiverNaturals.com
HaNdCrAfTeD hErBaL OrGaNiCs

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

This sounds pretty normal to me. Although my children didn't do this, I have A LOT of friends whose kids did this even up until 12yo. It's not his fault...don't let him feel like you are disappointed with him. He can't help this. His little bladder just isn't ready.

Now, there is something you could try...not sure if it will help, but you could go to a local health food store and let them know the problem and they should have something to help strengthen the bladder. I know there is a formula on www.herbsfirst.com.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi L.,
My son and daughter have had great difficulty with no urinary problems. No day time accidents, but simply cannot wake properly to go. My son is now 9 and just now able (he has been dry since 7 as long as we took him every night at 11).
Don't get me wrong, I do think it is a problem, but solving it is another story. I put my son on COQ10 daily and made sure his yeast was under control (using proibotics and antifungal herbs) and the onset of hte COQ10 did seem to make a dramatic improvement. Maybe you could try that.
Other than that, make sure you take him every night as late as you can (before he wets the bed, because my daughter will wet by 10 PM, but then can make it through the night). My son, if he gets woken in early AM cannot go back to sleep, so I usually still take him to prevent that even now.
We also tried an alarm my sister got on the net (forget where) that attaches to their underware and goes off when wet. My son slept through the vibration and the loud cycle together :).
Wish I could say I discovered something brilliant, but we have moved past it now with patience and consistency of taking him at the same time. My daughter stays dry most every night if I take her at 10, but I still use a pullup because that is cheaper than 2 loads of laundry (especially when my sleep gets factored in). J.

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

If you have had him checked by a urologist for any abnormalities, are giving him no beverages containing caffein at any time, the most likely thing is he has a small bladder and is a very sound sleeper. Don't make too big a deal of it and protect his privacy being sure he cleans himself thoroughly where he will not go anywhere smelling from urine. You may need to keep a journal on what he eats and drinks. Remember chocolate does have some caffein in it and that is an irritant to some people's bladders. I was about 7 before being totally dry evey night and I was a very sound sleeper and still am. The only way my nearly 12 year old can stay dry every night is the no caffein rule, limited beverages after 6 pm and get her up to potty at my bedtime. She is an extremely deep sleeper. V.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Did either you or your husband wet the bed as children Bedwetting is hereditary and usually there is nothing to be done but wait it out. My son is 8 and still wears a pullup to bed. I have had more than one pediatrician tell me that the alarms, waking you child at night and various other methods don't work. And from my experience, they're right. Just be supportive and know that he doesn't mean to.

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