Still Using Diapers at Night at 41/2 Years Old. and Wakes up with FULL Diaper.

Updated on November 29, 2009
S.G. asks from Houston, TX
32 answers

I am staring to get worried. My son can not stay dry at all during the night or can not even wake up to go to the potty in the middle of the night. Is it still OK for his age? He turnes 4 this past summer. What shoudl i do?
He goes to the potty before dinner, before shower and before bed. And still wakes up with a full diaper.
What should I do? Should i just wait???

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A.L.

answers from Austin on

Talk to his daddy's parents. Late bedwetting is often genetic. There's nothing you can do about it - for boys, this is considered normal until age 7 or so. (It runs in my husband's family.) Asking about dad's bedwetting will give you a baseline for how long you can expect this to happen.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

All my boys have this issue. My eldest wore a night time pull up until he was 9. My middle and youngest still wear them at 9 and 5. They are not always full in the morning.

He just needs to grow a little more. The Goodnights website has some great information on what to do and not to do.

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K.C.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't think you should worry. My youngest still has accidents sometimes and he is eight. I just recently stopped buying pull-ups, but they were always full! Don't sweat it. He will eventually grow out of this. Happy Thanksgiving!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

My son turned 7 in Sept. And started sleeping through the night with underwear on about a month ago. I was a little concered too but the Doc said it was ok. My husband did the same thing when he was little. My husband and son both sleep very soundly and just don't wake up. Don't stress over it. One day he will just decide the time is right. We would have some nights when we were so soaking wet we lweaked and then some where we were totally dry. Our rule was that if he was dry and stayed that way at night for 3 days in a row then we could switch to underwear. Light a light switch it worked! We still have accidents about one every 2 weeks. Give it time. He will be ready on his own time.

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L.M.

answers from Odessa on

S.,

I have twin boys age 4. One stays dry over night, and has for quite some time, but my other one does not. We even went as far as waking him up in the middle of the night and put him on the potty, and he would still wake up with a wet pull-up. My son also does not wake up when he has to go during the night. I asked my pediatrician about it and he said it was completely normal, and that this may last until he is age 6. So, we stopped worrying about it. I was very releived to hear my son was normal. So, my advice, put a pull-up on him and have a good nights sleep, your son is normal.

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

It's normal, my child is 5 and still needs pull ups at night. Bed wetters lack a harmone that tells there bladder to hold it while they sleep, so until their bodies mature enough to get that harmone it will continue. It will end eventually, take comfort in the fact he is dry during the day, the glass is half full, not half empty:)

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S.H.

answers from Houston on

My daughter came from a long line of bed wetters. She is 6 ft tall and finally quit at age 13. I thought something might be wrong, we tried everything. I thought she would never stop. The doctor always said not to worry. It is the sleep pattern. Like magic she stopped. Make sure that you are not making him feel bad, he can't help it. It is more common then you think because no one ever discusses it.

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L.B.

answers from Houston on

S.
My so is 4 1/2 as well and still uses goodnites at night. Don't worry - I think its normal. Just like potty training for daytime - their little bodies just need time to mature. My son is a very heavy sleeper - we don't do drinks after dinner and he always goes before getting into bed. Sometimes he's dry and most times he still has a wet diaper. It will happen. Happy Thanksgiving!!

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K.H.

answers from Houston on

I have two boys, ages 7 and 10. One pretty much started being dry all night at around 2 1/2. My younger one still wets the bed at 7. He wears a nighttime pullup still. My husband wet the bed until he was a preteen. From what I understand is that some children just are not developmentally ready to stay dry at night until later.

Actually, according to this article, maybe we should try to find a solution to it since my son is 7 and still does it most nights.

Here is an excerpt from an article from WebMD on it.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/bed-wetting-myths-de...

In the U.S., about 5 to 7 million children aged 6 years or older suffer from primary nocturnal enuresis also called nighttime bed-wetting or the involuntary loss of urine at night when they could reasonably be expected to stay dry.

Terry started wetting the bed age 4 and continued to do so until he turned 15. His family was at their wit's end and didn't know where to turn for help.

That's because myths abound when it comes to bed-wetting and they often prevent children from getting the proper help, says Alan Greene, MD, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at Stanford University in Stanford, Calif., and author of several books including the forthcoming From First Kicks to First Steps.

WebMD talked to leading pediatricians to debunk some of the more common myths and address parental concerns about bed-wetting. Here's what we uncovered:

There's something wrong with my 3-year-old!

"Bed-wetting is very common in younger kids, in fact, it is so common that it is even considered normal before age 5," Greene says. "Nighttime dryness is the last part of toilet learning that kids achieve," he adds. At ages 6 and below, bed-wetting only needs to be addressed if the child is feeling really bad about himself as a result, he says.

"As adults, when the bladder gets full, it sends a signal to the brain to wake up or you start dreaming about water or going to bathroom, and then you wake up, but for kids the signal isn't quite strong enough to get them awake," Greene says.

That's why "it is normal for kids to wet the bed," agrees Charles I. Shubin, director of the children's health center at Mercy FamilyCare in Baltimore, Md. "By age 6, one out of six or seven will do it."

He adds that bed-wetting is "a developmental issue and therefore the treatment is time, so for kids age 6 or under, they will most likely grow out of it."

Good luck! And I wouldn't really worry to much about it as it most likely will resolve in time with or without intervention.

Kim

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.-

Yes, you should just wait. My son was 7 before he was out of pull ups at night and my daughter was 5. Nighttime bed wetting can last until age 8 or 9 (I'm sure for some even longer). It's not anything they (or you) can control. Just be patient. Once he wakes up with a dry pull up for 7 days in a row try letting him sleep without the pull up.

Good luck,
K.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

As long as you are making sure he doesn't drink after a certain hour, not making a huge deal of it as to hurt his feelings, there isn't much a doctor will be able to do at this point. They have a bed wetting alarm that you could set him up with and try. Also this happens to a lot of children, yours is far from the only one. Go ahead and get the doctors opinion to see what they have to say, but eventually he will stop wetting the bed. Also if he was a pre mature baby and or ADD there are ties to it taking longer for that trigger to work as far as getting up and using the restroom when needed. My son is 12 and he still wets the bed, he was pre-mature and I have tried several things. The doctor still states he will grow out of it, I keep hoping its soon. I have heard it can go to 13 or 14, then they stop.

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A.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,

I hear you! My son was also wetting his bed well after 6. It was as though his kidneys went into overdrive the minute he fell asleep! I encouraged him to go to the bathroom often during the day, because sometimes he would come home from school and hadn't used the restroom all day. What really kept our sanity was waking him up 3-4 hours after he fell asleep (at times he was in a deep sleep and this was not possible) and making him go - and he would go alot. It helped to reming him before he went to bed that we would be waking him.

Its great your son still will wears diapers at night as this makes it easy for you. I'm not a doctor but I think their little bodies just need to mature and they can't help the accidents.

Happy Thanksgiving!
A.

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T.R.

answers from Houston on

I worried about my youngest son too. Then I found out he was just laying there in the morning taking a relaxing urination while laying in bed. I was beyond frustrated. Get up early and go wake him and see if he is dry.

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L.M.

answers from Austin on

my older son wet until 7 and my younger was like 3 1/3, My doctor said not to worry about it until after 8 or so. Every child is different. We put a waterproof pad on the mattress and made it no big deal when we had to change as it's not his fault.

Be patient.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

no don't ge wait he will grow out of it because i have some family that is older and did it they out of it.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

My daughter is 5 1/2 and still wears a pull up at night and I would say half the time its pretty wet. I thought about using the mattress pad that has the alarm but I decided that since she's in school, it would just make her cranky during the day from lack of sleep. I don't want to put her on medication either. I think its a normal thing for a lot of kids and it can be hereditary. My brother and sister both wet the bed until about 6 I believe. My husband did also. I'm not worried at all. Using pull ups is stress free, no worrying about her having to take a quick shower before school, no extra laundry for me, etc. I say give it a couple more years before you start worrying =)

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M.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Maybe try giving just a little to drink at dinner if he drinks a lot. Otherwise, he may just be a heavy sleeper and it may take a little more time. He will it one day.

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M.R.

answers from Austin on

S.,

I had the same issues with my son, he's now 6 yrs old. He used his pull up until he was 5yrs old. We had him seeing by an urologist to make sure everything was ok, he was diagnosed with inmature bladder and also his bladder is smaller than other kids. He cannot hold much urine in his bladder, specially at night that is usually when urine is produced the most, he was waking up with a full pull up. The urologist recomended for us to get him the alarm that conects to his underware, this will alert him when he was urinating. We really didn't want to spend that much money in an alarm, specially because my son is a deep sleeper. We talked to my son and decided that he was no longer going to use a pull up and that we were going to try something new. What we're doing at this time is, he goest to bed at around 8:00pm, he goes to the potty before bed time, then we wake him up around 12:00 midnight for him to go to the potty, and he wakes up around 6:30am for school, and he is dry. This is working for him, we've been doing this for months and he has had maybe two accidents during the night. It's hard to wake up in the middle of the night, but we would had to do the same with the alarm. I believe also that by him still wearing the pull up, it made it more convenint for him to just urinated on his pull up than waking up to go to the potty. There has been some nights that he wakes up on his own to use the potty.

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J.N.

answers from Houston on

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My daughter, now 5 yrs, nighttime potty trained as soon as she daytime potty trained. My oldest son, who turned 4 in June, still wets the bed. Sometimes so much that his diaper cannot contain it. My husband and I both wet the bed til we were around 8 yrs old. We have cut back on our sons fluids at evening time and talk to him everytime we put a diaper on him, explaining that we wake up when we have to pee. He has, more frequently, had dry diapers when he wakes in the mornings. Your son will eventually pick up on it. It's nothing to worry about at this point. Good luck and God bless!!!!

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R.A.

answers from Austin on

My son will be 4 in March and having the same issue. I took him out of pull-ups and started getting him up about 2am to make him go, hoping this may create the habit of getting up on his own. He just sleeps so soundly, he doesn't wake up on his own. Since I started this (about 2 weeks) about half of the time he has woke up on his own to go before I wake him. Not sure if this is going to fix the issue, but it seems to be headed in the right direction.... good luck!

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

You really don't have to worry til he is about 6. Even then, some kids still do not have a mature enough bladder to stay dry consistently.

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N.K.

answers from Houston on

S.,
I believe everyone is totally different. My oldest daughter didn't stop wetting at night until 6 yrs, while my youngest stopped wetting at night around 3 yrs. I tried everything to get her to stop.. and seriously the only thing that worked when turned 6 in feb, that next june, we went to disney world (15 of us) and took the disney cruise, I told her that her cousins might want a slumber party to sleep in our hotel room, or in our cabin on the cruise. AND seriously, she has never wet the bed since. Don't know how it worked.. BUT IT DID.. Good luck.

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E.M.

answers from San Antonio on

S., I just wanted to share that I also have a 4 1/2 yr old son. He has been potty trained for almost T. years now. My son does get up in the middle of the night if he needs to potty. My opinion and advice to you is that you should have him evaluated asap. I just don't think he should have a full diaper every morning.

Best of luck,
Elisa M

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M.T.

answers from Houston on

I do not think it is that uncommon for a little 4 year old boy. I would try transitioning him to pull-ups at night, rather than diapers. I would try not giving him anything to drink after dinner. Only a sip of water, if he insists he's very thirsty. Give it another year before you begin to worry. My nephew was such a sound sleeper, he just COULDN'T wake up if he needed to go. When he was 5, his mother stopped putting him in pull-ups and let him wet the bed. He would get so uncomfortable and cold at night, it would wake him up (Of course, before trying this, get a good mattress cover). It took about a week of him waking up, very uncomfortable, before his body and mind realized that this was not OK. It took some time for him to get consistent with it, and of course a lot of laundry, which can be inconvenient for all of us....but he finally learned. Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Some kids just mature later in this area, nothing to worry about. Limit fluids after dinner. Talk to the doctor at his next checkup if you like. My daughter had this issue until about age 6 or 7. Finally her bladder matured and it went away.

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L.T.

answers from Houston on

You have gotten a lot of good input already. I would suggest talking to your pediatrican as well. My niece and nephew both had occasional accidents up until they were 7 years old. As one person mentioned it can be hereditary (my BIL, their dad, is adopted so we don't know his whole family history). A friend of mine's son also had problems up until he was 8 and they got a bedwetting alarm that she said worked great and he hasn't had an accident since then (he's 9 now). My niece just recently started using one of the medicines out there b/c she was starting to feel self conscious when she went on sleepovers. So far, so good. Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Something that has helped us is no milk after 2. Someone suggested it to me and it worked! I had no liquids after 6 but was still having accidents. Something in milk makes it harder to hold the urine in.

We still do no liquids after 6 but for dinner it's only water, no milk!

My oldest was potty trained days only at 4. Second at days only at 5. Third days only at 4. (she's 4 1/2 and still wets sometimes at night.) Fourth days only at almost 2, and still wears a pull up at night.

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M.K.

answers from Austin on

One of my step-sons (lived with me) was a bed wetter well into upper elementary. I also had 2 brothers who were bed wetters. What the doctors told us is that it is more common on boys than in girls. There is usually no internal problem causing it - it's just a maturity thing. As long as there isn't a physical problem, we did things like no water or milk after a certain time of night, making sure that they emptied their bladder before going to bed and I used to take him again before I went to bed (I was usually up REALLY late). Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn't. The doctor did tell us not to "shame" him about it because that would cause emotional harm as he really couldn't help it. There are lots of tools to try now that weren't available then - alarm for the bed to train them to wake up, some medications. If you're too concerned, I'd ask your doctor. In the meantime, I would just put him in a pull up so you don't spend all day everyday washing sheets.

Ohhh... The Mayo Clinic has an excellent article about bed wetting, causes, helps, etc. http://mayoclinic.com/health/bed-wetting/DS00611

Good luck!
PS... My grandson is 5 and still wetting the bed.

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H.R.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.,
My son wasn't in diapers at that age but had repeated accidents at night. My suggestion which seemed to help my son although he wasn't thrilled with it was to cut him off of all liquids after dinner. If he goes potty 5 minutes before he goes to sleep and hasn't had anything to drink since 7 pm or so you have have a chance. Some boys bladders just don't grow as fast as the rest of them. Hope this helps.

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W.W.

answers from Houston on

I hsd to laugh when I read your request as my kids are the same. I am not really worried. When they are ready they will ask, and also they will stop doing it in their diaper.
You can buy a thing that has an alarm that goes off when wee wee gets on it. We will do it soon.
Good luck.

W.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

logic says to take him out of the diaper and let him be in underware. use a plastic bed liner under the sheets. once he pees in bed a few times i would think that would take care of it. i could be totally off and completley wrong about that. but seems like he is peeing in his diaper and is use to it. ask your pedi about it.

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N.R.

answers from Austin on

I would say the diaper needs to NOT be an option for him at all...if it's there they use it! I wish I could give some advice my son has not wet the bed for months and he is 2 1/2, but this could just be unusual for me and not for everyone. Have you talked to your PCP about this?

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