Angry W/another Parent at Daycare!

You're not alone, that would infuriate me too! The good news is that it truly was not a reflection of the daycare since they cannot predict or control the actions of the parents whose children attend. As for your concerns about seeing that parent again, perhaps you won't too often -- maybe his wife does most of the child transport, you never know. And, I truly believe that after a bit of time passes, your anger at him will subside a bit. My hope is that he is simply a buffoon and did not realize he hurt your little girl because honestly, what kind of person doesn't apologize for stepping on a child??! When you do see him, just steer clear of him -- in deference to his klutziness, of course. Saying anything too far after the fact won't do much good (although it may make you feel better) and having him apologize to your daughter won't help her at this point (she's probably over it already.) Good luck with the situation. Just remember, that may be your child's only encounter with that man ever, if it was a teacher at the daycare, I'd be really concerned.

E.

aFTER READING SOME OF THE OTHER RESPONSES...I HAVE COME UP WITH THIS IDEA. SEEK OUT THIS MAN AND CALMLY TELL HIM THAT AT THE SHOW HE STEPPED ON YOUR KID. THAT YOU KNOW HE HAD NO IDEA SINCE HE WAS WEARING HIS WORK BOOTS, BUT THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOW AFRAID OF HIM AND IF HE WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO SAY THAT HE IS SORRY THAT YOUR CHILD WOULD FEEL BETTER AND NOT FEAR HIM (OR HIS KID :) ). i REALLY DON'T THINK ANYONE COULD NOT SAY SORRY AFTER HEARING THAT. yOU JUST NEED TO TALK TO HIM BEFORE EITHER OF YOU PICK UP THE KIDS ANDDO IT IN FRONT OF OTHERS SO HE IS MORE EMBARRASSED AND ACTS MORE LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

No matter where you put your daughter you will always find rude parents, that is life. I would not switch daycares because of the situation. You will normally have another one at another daycare. If it had been me I would have said something to him when it happened. I have done that numerous times. I am not rude to them but say excuse me or something else in a loud tone so they know I don't approve. Most of the time they will stop and say sorry or something else. Right now the moment has passed so I would say it is too late to really address it. Sorry for your frustration I have dealt with rude parents everywhere from playground to daycare. parents that don't watch their kids and let their kids push my younger ones around or out of the way. I always speak out loudly telling them not to push or wait their turn but of course the parents never come to say anything themselves. At the time my children where around 1 1/2yrs old and it took them longer to get up on the slide etc. That is a fact of life when dealing with children.

Unfortunatley, I think you need to let it go and try to move on. If you didn't say anything the day it happen, your window of opportunity has passed. Believe it or not, he may have absolutley no clue that he stepped on her (those work boots are heavy duty) or maybe he thought he may have hurt her and was mortified and wasn't sure which adult close by was her parent to offer his apologies to you... any way, no way of knowing and since there is no permanent damage, you need to move on in my opinion

That being said, I do know how you feel. When my daughter was in kindergarten, a little girl wasn't being careful with scissors and cut my daughter right next to her eye (on the folds near her eye lid). It was bleeding like crazy but the doctor on duty that day just bandaged it up and sent us on our way. Months later at her next check up, her regular doctor said she would have probably put a stitch in it so it would scar better. My daughter is in 3rd grade now and she very much still has (and will always have) a scar. I have seen the mother of the little girl who did it several times at school functions and birthday parties and during the school year that it happened, she was even an employee of the school so I am pretty sure she knows what happened (her daughter got in trouble, so you'd think her mom would ask her which child she hurt), and I look at her across the room as if she poisoned my daughter (though not when we have eye contact!!)I always think about how if it had been my daughter who cut another girl, I would apologize 10,000 times every time I saw the girl and her parents!! I know it isn't her mother's place to apologize for what her daughter did, but she could have at least had her daugter march up to me and my daughter and apologize... I am soooo close every time I see her to show her the scar, but I know it would be pointless, so I try to just go on with my life!!

I would continue your good feelings about the daycare and agree that they are not responsible for the actions of other parents whose children attend. However, I would absolutely say something to that Dad the next time you see him. I just can't hold things like that in, however, I would NOT do it in front of the kids, even though I would explain it to my daugther later at home. I would deal with him 1-1, in the lobby, parking lot, as you both leave the classroom, whenever. But I would absolutely say something. As a matter of fact, I'm quite sure that I would not have been able to hold my tongue that night, and would have followed him out and asked him to apologize to my girl. But that's just me... confrontations don't bother me at all. I would not have been rude, or used bad language or raised my voice. I simply would ask him to apologize for inadvertently hurting my child, as I would do if the roles were reversed. Don't assume that he meant to do it, and give him the benefit of the doubt, but confront it nonetheless.

Good luck!
K.

If I ever saw him again I would say "oh , I remember you --- you are the man that stepped on my daughter at the Christmas program..were you aware? Probably not,cause if you were aware you would have said something I am sure...................."

Could it be possible that this man had no clue he stepped on your child? Given that it was most likely an accident, and you didn't say anything to him at the time, he may not have known that he stepped on your little "diva." ;)

I'd ask him, next time you see him, if he was aware that he stepped on your daughter and, that while you're sure it must've been an accident, you'd like him to apologize to her, so that you can teach her to do the same in a similar situation.

Unless he has no soul, I'm sure he'll be very apologetic and be more than willing to help you show your daughter what an appropriate thing to do is in that situation.

Good luck!

**remember...you catch more flies with honey***

J.,

I've never had to deal with a daycare situation, but I have friends that act that way, who have kids around my son's age. I have watched one of my 'friends' children, punch my son in the back and in the head, and him start crying from being hurt. When I addressed the situation with the mother, she said 'Well maybe your son should toughen up.' I thought that was so rude, because instead of correcting her child, she did absolutely nothing. I decided that after that happened, that I could no longer schedual playdates with that person, and let them know that what they did was wrong in my opinion.

I'm not the type of person that holds things in, so I tell everyone immeadiately if I have a grievance with them. I think that perhaps you should just talk to the guy, explain to him that on the night of the christmas play, he stepped on your daughter's hand and that it really hurt her. That you don't want to hold anything against him, but that you feel that he owes her an apology. I know that sometimes women are scared to confront a man like that, but you have to stand up for her. I don't know, I wouldn't allow it to effect whether you take her to the school or not. I mean, if you don't your husband is going to know something is wrong, because you were so happy about this and then in a blink of an eye you no longer want her to go there.

Confronting a stranger is always dangerous even in the parking lot of daycare. Please think it through, prior to saying anything to anger a stranger that you believe intentionally hurt a child. Is it worth your safety?

It sucks, but the situation is over. Let it go. Are you really mad at him or yourself for not saying something?

I completely, 100% agree with Elizabeth. Don't let this influence your decision on the daycare.

I wouldn't transfer my anger to the daycare center. And I would also give the guy a break. Unless he is mentally ill, no adult would step on a kid and not feel sorry.
He had no idea.
How many times do we (me, you, everyone) go throughout our day, and do something that negatively impacts someone else? I would say "not me, never, I'm very very aware of others. Probably too aware."
But I remember one time -- a while ago -- I came out of a gas station and a friend of mine said that I opened the gas station door right into a lady, and that the lady was furious and looked at me shaking her head.
First of all, I remembered I was carrying hot coffees, trying to open the door without dropping anything. And for the life of me, never in a million years, did i see a person on the other side of the door. If I had, would I have purposely swung the door into her?
I never even saw her, probably because as I was pushing the door open and watching all the cups to make sure I wasn't spilling.
The lady could have said, whoops, that was close or something, and of course, I would have apologized.
My friend told me that day that I should work on being more aware of my surroundings and other people.
I think I am very aware of my surroundings, but sometimes you screw up.
So the way I live my life now is "compassion" -- unless they are mentally ill or on drugs or something, no human being intentionally wants to cause another human being harm. They just don't.
But we can all acknowledge that we were completely unaware of harming another person by word or deed -- and everyone should be forgiving, give people a break -- and stamp this word on their brain -- COMPASSION.
I hope your little girl's arm is better now, and I hope you explained to her that the man wasn't aware of the pain he caused her.